Minecraft Forums

So I decided to make another forum game. ...There is no way this can be a good thing. Let's begin!

This is an MSPA (you know, like Homestuck) that I'm making in Photoshop CC, not MS Paint. Yes, this means the title lies, and that this entire forum game, by extension, is a lie. But what are you gonna do about it, huh? Sue me? Call the cops? What would you say? "Hi, officer? Yeah, some guy lied in his forum game title... I think they deserve life imprisonment." Well, I do deserve life imprisonment, but that's another story. ...Anyway.

Here's another exposed lie for you: this won't be like Homestuck at all. Typically, a fake MSPA is a Homestuck snowclone - a group of kids with blank personalities and the same body template but differing facial features, clothes, interests, internet browsers, online handles, and weapon choices all play a game that ends the world. I'm not doing that. This will be more in the vein of Problem Sleuth: where a trio of impromptu adventurers go on a journey that changes the world forever, usually through shenanigans with fan cords and giant clock towers.

How this will work: I'll detail the bare minimum prologue of what horror is about to unfold in this text-based medium. There won't be much to go on, but this means anything can happen because of you. Yes, you. I'm talking to the guy behind the monitor here. Your job, in case you've forgotten how MSPAs work or just don't know, is to suggest things that the character you're controlling will do. From those responses, I'll choose anything that makes sense (and sometimes things that don't, just for laughs). Each response is guaranteed to have text, but will sometimes (more often that not) have an image (or multiple) to accompany it.

Alright, enough expositional information. Let's get into it, huh?

---

You are a young man walking down an urban sidewalk, admiring the view of the city around him. You have a keen feeling today - a feeling that your life has suddenly and inexplicably gone off the deep end, as if it's been handed to a group of incompetents sitting at their computers with devilish grins, ready to type any idea that comes into their head and command you to follow that idea to the letter. But that's stupid, and you're stupid for thinking that such a thing could happen.

The point is that today is a Sunday. And on Sundays, there's only one thing on your mind.

No, not religion. All religions are wrong. On Sundays, the one thing on your mind is pie. You love pie the most out of anyone in the city. You're known for it. You're... commonly avoided because of it. Some people even hate you for it. But the life of a pie aficionado is never finished. You always scourge the city for the finest pastries, because you're on a pie quest, damnit! And if you're on a pie quest, you need to eat pie! That's just how it works! And you... You, uh... Wait.

What was your name again?

> (Suggest a name! Trust me, it will definitely have a meaningful impact on the story.)

Hypierion. I don't even care about consequences.

Hmm, might as well toss another one out there.

Jeff Hoskins.

Sue Donym

Sacerit.

Bill Wheatley.

Eric Coleman.

> Hyperion.

While we're at it, what's that symbol on your shirt?

...

Yes, that's my name suggestion, deal with it.

Quote from insert_generic_username»

Hypierion. I don't even care about consequences.

Hmm, might as well toss another one out there.

Jeff Hoskins.

Quote from Bomber57»

Eric Coleman.

Quote from The_Nonexistent_Tazz»

> Hyperion.

While we're at it, what's that symbol on your shirt?

Huh. Jeff Coleman sounds like a good name for you. And by that you mean yes, it is your name. Definitely. You remember name with certainty, and you do not have amnesia. You're like, amnesia? Pfft, what's that? I don't have it! I've never heard of such a thing. ...Wait. Not knowing such a common household word as "amnesia" could imply that you don't know anything, and as such, have amnesia.

...You hate it when you get into situations like this. Anyway, your name.

You are JEFF COLEMAN, although most know you as THE PIE GUY. You have a small amount of INTERESTS that play a big part in your life. The biggest by far is PIE. God, you love pie. You can't get it enough of it. It's a delicacy, a fine art, the peak of the food pyramid. You've browsed countless online articles about pie, read through so many books, gone to so many diners to taste the world's best pies. (You don't actually have enough money to travel the world, so you settle for the state.)

There's just one problem: you can't make pie yourself. Seriously. For all the pies you've seen and all the recipes you've studied, you can't actually replicate any of the pies you've seen. Your lack of cooking skills is actually frightening to say the least: you won't easily forget THE BITE OF '87. Ugh. There's a monument to where that place stood. You hate looking at it. It reminds you of the harsh emptiness of a life. A hole that you try to fill with pie.


Now, about your shirt... That logo is the finest design to ever grace this mortal plane of existence. That circle... That bracketed H... Whenever you see this, your eyes shine with delight and you can't help yourself. You break into a salute, a salute recognizing the most courageous, noble, and powerful superhero EVER CONCEIVED. Created THIRTY YEARS AGO in an attempt to give SUPERMAN AND BATMAN a run for their money but ultimately forgotten, this underground legend has been reborn by a new team of graphic artists! They have given life to the best comic book put to pen...

HYPERION.

No one but you knows it exists. Or at least, that's what it seems like. But hey, you got this cool shirt from a clothes store! And by that you mean you stole it without shame. We did mention you're broke, right?


It has just suddenly occurred to you that you're saluting to thin air in the middle of a busy street where many cars are passing by and people are walking on sidewalks, which means that everyone can view your incompetence. Great job. You've just taken your walk and you're already making a fool of yourself. You can hear the peanut gallery line up for their daily chuckles... They're getting closer. Oh no, not now. You can't take another round of bullying. Not today.

Quick! What can you do to stop this??

> ...

Parkour up to the top of a roof and dropkick some fools.

Tear the gorilla poster down and use it as a mask to hide in!

Stand still and pretend you're invisible.

Punch them in the face.

Attempt to log out, then realize that life isn't a game. Continue to pray for Hyperion to come and save you. When that fails, threaten the bullies by saying you're going to cook for them.

Show them your great knowledge of the pie and confuse them.

Escape into the Gorilla Deli behind you, hoping you don't stumble upon actual gorillas.

(Heh. Your personality reminds me of Hussie's, Twin. And your art style is great! About time you did something that's a rip off of homestuck MSPA inspired!)

Quick! Get in your lamborghini and drive! DRIVE!

I say, considering violence is probably not prohibited and there's probably a nearby cop, given you are in a busy daytime street...Yield thy (potentially) legendary Parkour skills and get to the chopper nearby roof. Failing that, just dive in the Deli. Meat Pies and such.

Also, review, err...Stats? Do you know what I'm talking about here? Do that AFTER escaping, if at all convenient. Best not look up your VIM while being punded into the dirt.

Take out trusty pie knife, start stabbing.

You get out your pie launcher, and fire off machine guns worth of pie.