Huzzah! At long last, the update is done! Be aware, there's new PZ entities on the field, and the pre-existing ones have almost certainly filled up their charges!
Status effect gained: Female (small penalty to damage and max health, small bonus to accuracy and dodge chance) (yes this more than likely won't actually change anything at all but honestly this is an opportunity to experiment with flipping genders of some of my characters)
+3 to battlefury13
CAP: 25/50 (+6 from battlefury13, +4 from UserZero, +1 from latedop)
Due to unforeseen circumstances involving a link to a website, Walker ends up turned into a girl - long hair, breasts, the whole deal. There is a pause, then she stares down at herself, clearly bewildered.
"WHAT. WHY AM I... JUST... WHAT... IS THIS REAL?"
She pokes herself experimentally.
"OKAY YEP THAT'S REAL I'M FEMALE NOW. THIS FEELS WEIRD."
After getting over the oddity of having flipped gender, she picks up her sword again, seemingly having a little difficulty with the weight of it. Strange. It hadn't been that much to her back when she was male... Nonetheless, she decides to do what she does best, leaping through the air at Sans and taking a swing at him. She seems to be moving faster than before, although she's a bit unbalanced due to the change in weight and strength that happened to her as a result of gender flipping. Regardless of a hit or miss, she lets out a huffy sigh, gracefully retreating by turning and sprinting back over to the PZ side of the field. Yep, she's definitely moving faster now than she was as a guy, although she seems a bit... unused to her new body.
Well, would you look at that! The Snow Tank has been upgraded! I owe whoever did that one, so please identify yourself! I'll +Assist you for the next few turns.
Also, what happens if you're going to have a charge that leads into a sidequest?
Action 1/2
Shock Trooper Part A: 45/50
Shock Trooper Part B: 20/50
I, noticing Ultra Greed's critical condition, heal him up with the Super Prototype Medigun and reduce some of the damage he might take!
Hm... It's been a while since Uzi's taken damage, hasn't it...
Wait... I can feel something...
Magna Firma Orbis Terrae 4/16
Greater Orb of Earth 4/11
Orb of Earth 4/6
4/10 for earth elemental
4/20 for earth archons
6/50 for earth titan.
+3 to revan
Think back far, far into the past... the early days of the thread when silliness still reigned supreme above all else.
A time back when George was still a player in this war...
It's time for one of my famous...
CALLBACK ATTACKS!!!
Uzi hears something. A... squeak? She doesn't recognize it at first, but then she realizes...
IT'S HER PET PENGUIN FROM PAGE 9!
How did it get on the battlefield? It was teleported away to a safe dimension and should be completely safe from harm...
But yet, there it is, on the far edge of the battlefield, but not only is it on the far edge of the battlefield...
But it's being terrorized by the giant rubber duck that got launched into the ether on Page 3 as well!
Oh no!
Uzi realizes what must have happened, her using her powers to port the two birds must have left open a doorway, and in the months that followed the duck was able to pursue the penguin, and in a fit of jealousy after discovering that Uzi was a duck lover upon watching the subsequent rubber-duck based attack and yet Uzi still loved the penguin more than it, it having been stuffed into the ether and left there to rot, it pursued the pet penguin in an effort to extinguish its competition!
And across a great trek the penguin was assailed across dimensions until finally it found its way back to its mother, but alas and alack, the poor thing's energy has run out.
Uzi immediately runs to try and save her pet penguin, will she get there in time?
Will she?
Will She?
WILL SHE!?!?!
Of course she will, she's an omega+ godmodder.
She knocks the rubber duck into the stratosphere and hugs her beloved pet penguin.
Never again, never again will she let anything hur...
What's that noise.
Uzi realizes a split-second too late to block with her godmodding powers that this is, in fact, not her pet penguin, but instead the BLUE SHELL from PAGE 3!
For reference, when the blue shell was launched at Uzi, it flew off into the distance, apparently seeking a far more important target... as it turns out, said target was future Uzi.
The blue shell and duck had met together in the crossroads of time and fate, and agreed together that the two of them could not let their attacks become forgotten setups, that they must return to the battlefield one day and indeed must DO SOMETHING when they returned. And thus they have returned to fulfill their ancient pact.
The blue shell hits Uzi, and since she was taken in by this magnificent dupe, she is unable to apply any of her defenses to blocking it.
((Goooooo first damage to a godmodder ever. Pleaseletthisworkforoncepleaseletthisworkforoncepleaseletthisworkforonce))
PS: Now that Crusher48 "left" due to an "emergency", I can use all these spots to build drone schematics so that I can make really powerful drones! Unlike Crusher48's "I made this awesome thing but I never actually use it" mentality.
Now that sans is suitably protected, I prepare to launch an attack on Richard. However, suddenly OH NO SOMEONE IS HACKING MY S$%#T&)(*MS A436q603%&* (#)@)%*(!# !_86@*!$*%_#4864)!&%!*_^&_)@*$2amp;^@2_#%(*!@_^864!_)&*!#%_)!^_)!*$_!)*^_!#*
We interrupt your regular program of "EXOS doing stupid stuff" to give you big news:
We are going to rebalance your game!
To give us extra money enhance gameplay, we are making it so that all entities half half the HP but do twice the damage! This way, the EOTBs will resolve faster, as entities die faster. So what if it makes your 50-post charges way less useful, am I right?
Okay, this can only be one thing: KIXEYE. A money-making scheme thinly disguised as a game, exploiting thousands that actually think their "games" are entertaining. Think like Candy Crush, except that in these games you get even less gameplay and other players can invade you and blow up everything to force you to pay money to have a chance to fight back. Also, way more farming.
Don't feel so bad, EXOS. We fixed the bug that killed your Hyperstorm boss. We can't exactly refund you for it, but still, that bug won't happen again!
Oh yeah, they also have "bugs" that are more like malicious actions disguised as bugs, that steal your resources, make you lose valuable time dealing with them, and cause you to lose battles solely because their server failed. Odds are, if they "fixed" that "bug", that means they caused it.
That is false and you know it!
Anyways, in the next update we are going to add our Flagship, the Unicorn Corporate Headquarters, to the game! This new flagship will provide its owners (us) with free money while we sit back and steal all yours!
You know what? THAT. IS. IT. Not only do you Corrupt Corporate Executives try to ruin the game with a "rebalance" really aimed at forcing players to waste more time charging for less benefit, but you also hack my systems to deliver the message! As of this moment, you are going down.
After expelling KIXEYE's hackers from my systems, I then summon an army of monkeys, and have them begin making a better game than KIXEYE's to steal all their money by getting players to switch games. Yes, these monkeys are smart enough to make a new game (heck, an army of cows or pigs or chickens or zombies could probably do it) that beats KIXEYE's "game" in the playability department.
Unfortunately, it appears that KIXEYE responded using the "SHUT IT ALL DOWN BEFORE ANYONE REALIZES WE ARE JUST MONEY-GRABBERS" maneuver, namely by warping in their Unicorn-Class Corporate Headquarters in to invade the server and destroy my monkeys. Do these idiots not realize that by doing so, they just committed suicide by OP Scale? Though they may have tried to hide the secret stats in their rebalance to avoid the dreaded Nerf Bat, I managed to raid their systems, find the secret stats they were hiding, and post them out in the open so they can be witnessed with horror and promptly removed from existence.
Secret KIXEYE Team E-Mail:
So here are the tentative stats for the Unicorn-Class Corporate Headquarters ship. It's design purpose is to allow us to use all the money we squeeze out of anyone still investing in our game to aid in our operations to take over this game and potentially recover our revenue stream.
Heretic Cruiser x6: 20000 HP, 10000 Shields, 2000 damage, 75% chance for a random Heretic Cruiser to intercept an attack aimed at another ISC Ship or against the Unicorn and take the damage instead as long as at least one is alive.
Note: all shields are designed to fully regenerate after the end of each EOTB, but only block 80% of incoming damage, with the rest going to hull. In addition, resistance systems reduce damage from entities (but not players) against our units by 50%. Lastly, standard repair repairs all non-destroyed ships for 1000 HP each EOTB.
Whales x250: Each one will spend 1 Coin to boost our efforts each turn, and we can acquire at least 25 more whales to increase our supplies every turn. Enemies may be able to make them flee and stop spending with us, but it would take a concerted effort to overcome our recruitment efforts, and if they fail they could just make the Whales spend more! (note: whales take the same effort as causing 1000 points of damage to remove each one, 2000 damage if the CM is active)
Coins: We can gather coins either by waiting for the Whales to spend money to aid us, or by selling Charge Tokens at the rate of 100 Coins per charge token (max 1 charge token per customer per post). We can use these coins for many actions:
Instant Repair: For 50 coins, we can instantly return a destroyed ISC ship to full health, or repair the Unicorn or another high-health ally for 50000 HP.
Bribery: For a cost of at least 10 Coins for every charge point of charge that an entity has (potentially more for the more... stubborn entities), we can bribe the enemy entities to change sides and aid our operations. Note that bribed allies demand a constant payment of coins equal to their charge point per turn, so make sure to get rid of them quickly.
Build Fleet: For 500 coins, we can instantly build an additional fleet of ships to aid in our operations (stats will depend based on what type of fleet we build).
Expand Market: For an initial investment of 250 coins, we can expand the platforms that our game runs on, doubling the amount of extra whales we can acquire each turn.
Recruit Employees: Recruits additional employees to give us additional actions. Costs 200-500 coins depending on what type of employee we pick up.
Personnel: The Unicorn will have our best team member on board to ensure its success:
CEO: The CEO can, once every 5 turns, create a rebalance that allows us to change game mechanics to our benefit. These rebalances require one additional turn to take effect, but once they are in effect will last forever (or until the Unicorn somehow gets destroyed).
Developer: Our Developer can, once every 3 turns, create a bug that cripples an enemy's stats, causing 50% integrity damage to it and removing some abilities from it (or reducing its damage, or increasing damage against it) for 3 turns.
Community Manager: The Community Manager's job is to reduce the effect of enemies trying to drive off our Whales by spinning stories. Normally, this would make such efforts 50% less effective, but we also know our Community Manager has a 25% chance to actually agree with player's ideas about our Whales, and thus could potentially sabotage our efforts in an attempt to fix these "errors".
Pro Pilot: The Pro Pilot we recruited from among our Whale stock can pilot one group of ships at a time, increasing that group's evasion by 50% and giving that group's attack 50% greater effect.
Moderator: The Moderator carries a Lock-Saw that can remove offensive posts (aka anything aimed at us), eliminating one enemy post against us each turn.
Special Event: Special Events can be run to provide a huge bonus. These events last for 3 rounds. During the events, our whales produce twice as much coins, and we can add additional mechanics to the battle (the usual use will be to add additional overpowered VEGA fleets that give bonuses if players manage to bring them down, but also inflict extreme damage on enemies).
With all these advantages, we cannot lose.
(Note: As far as the in-game "factions" system goes, we are on the Hostile faction. We are attempting a HOSTILE Takeover after all, not a Neutral Takeover or an Anti-Whoever Takeover.
Wait, are you guys at all mad that the old UOSS my creator made is actually partly a rip-off of base designs in your game?
Yes, our lawyers say that was half the reason we came here.
At this point, they SHOULD have gotten OP Scale'd off the face of this server (unfortunately sending them back to terrorize and steal money from the general populace again), but if they somehow were not OP Scale'd away, I take several actions. First, I teleport Ultra Greed inside their ship to steal all their money (which, given that Ultra Greed needs far less money to do all his stuff, should turn him so insane that the OP Scale would bag him too). I then add my Army Of Monkeys as entities, and gather up some rebels that are sick of these guys to defend the Army Of Monkeys.
Army Of Monkeys [N]: 10000 HP. Better Game: |||||||||| Immune to Convenient Bugs (they are also better bugfixers than KIXEYE is)
(if completed, the game will drain half of KIXEYE's whales away, and may add them as GS Whales to give us coins as well)
Rebel Ragnarok Carrier x3 [N]: 40000 HP, 10000 Shields. Boosts all allied ships with a "small" speed bonus that actually makes them nearly impossible to hit, giving up to 3 friendly Dread Battleships per carrier +75% evasion against entity attacks. Launches 4 Squadrons per round. Likely target of Convenient Bugs because KIXEYE hates them.
Carrier Squadrons: 5000 HP each. One round after being spawned, attacks a target for damage equal to remaining HP.
These units are ONLY here to fight KIXEYE (they will not follow orders to attack anything else), and will leave when KIXEYE is destroyed (or gets OP Scale'd).
Also, since KIXEYE's flagship has a Boss on board in the form of their CEO, they would drop a Spoil known as the Rebalancer that allows someone to rebalance the game rules for 3 turns with a 10 turn cooldown. But we all know these guys just made a suicidal attack and are getting OP Scale'd anyways since they couldn't hijack my charged actions, right? Sucks for them too, it looks like they made a rather good boss design. (Having UserZero pick these guys up and use them as the next Gatekeeper wouldn't really be out of place, though)
(OOC: Yes, I really hate KIXEYE to the point of actually making (and essentially wasting) an entire post solely to destroy a fictional version of them. And if you doubt that they are this bad, just check their forums: you will see plenty of evidence of them screwing with players in desperate attempts to squeeze cash out of them. With that being said, this is a parody/flanderization of them, and is not completely representative of their actual actions.)
I hire the World's Best Sniper. He's like the World's Best Minecrafter, but a Sniper instead. I tell him that he needs to hit Sans, just once... whatever the cost.
To begin, he goes on a quest for the World's Most Accurate Weapon. For space purposes, I think it's best we skip over the little details, like the 25,000 floor dungeon, sharks, and evil forces of Porcupine Lawyerhood. Let's just say, he eventually found a very, ordinary, standard-looking bow, that was in reality, anything BUT a standard, ordinary-looking bow.
It was a bow, finely crafted many years ago by some of the very first people who played Minecraft, imbued with raw potential, and most of all... accuracy. Extreme, raw, accuracy. It's arrows fly at lightning speed-no, faster- straight towards their target, pierce anything (any shielding, or blocking) in their way, deal moderate damage to make up for it, and seem to almost supernaturally home in on whatever they're aimed at.
When the sniper returns with the bow, I "modify" him a bit-with psionic implants. Psionic implants that not only replace his eyes with autotargeters (human error is now a thing of the past), they also boost his accuracy further-a firm grip, a perfect draw, a perfect EVERYTHING. All the technology is the latest and greatest advancements-immune to short circuiting, bugs, viruses, errors of any kind whatsoever.
All of these buffs boost his accuracy to at LEAST a solid 110-115%, and I wouldn't be surprised if it went a good deal higher.
I have him set up a short ways away from Sans. I hired the sniper, found the weapon, and made the arrangements in the utmost of secrecy-Sans probably doesn't know. Then, when Sans is looking away, I throw my 20 charges in his attack and...
The Meaning of Life, the Universe, and Everything.
Location:
Both here
Join Date:
1/5/2012
Posts:
245
Location:
and there at once.
Minecraft:
same as this one
Xbox:
Don't have one
PSN:
Don't want one
Member Details
@Tazz: I spend 4 of each token to buy Conviction once, giving me +5 HP and +1 HP regen. Also, what would be the HP and damage average of a 200 post entity?
@Battlefury: That's the last time I give you an Elytra...
Adventurer Class. Put into a URL to preserve that rare resource known as Tazz sanity.
Class Tracking:
Attitude: None (2/3 mind)
Tokens: (4, 1, 1)
Total Tokens (8, 5, 5)
Conviction x1
HP: 4/4. Yeah, anything that hits will destroy it.
Velocity Uncertainty: 0%
Position Uncertainty: 1000%
Matter Collection: _ _ _
By default, the Position Uncertainty is Cuarc's dodge chance. This can dodge AOE attacks and other "undodgeable" attacks. Velocity Uncertainty helps add to Cuarc's attacks. Velocity and Position uncertainties always add up to 1000%. So when one drops, the other rises. When one rises, the other drops.
Attacks:
* Subatomic Disassemble: Cuarc's main attack. Deals 20,000 damage and gains one unit of matter based on the faction attacked. Attacking PZs gives PZ 'matter', attacking GSs gives GS 'matter', attacking AZs gives AZ 'matter', and attacking neutrals/hostiles/???s gives NU 'matter'. Cuarc can also attack the ground itself, which deals no damage and gives it one unit of NU 'matter'. If Velocity Uncertainty is above 500%, this gives 2 units of matter.
* Matter Transfer: Both Cuarc and Leictreon must use this attack on the same turn. Cuarc gives all its matter to Leictreon.
* Primordial Storm: Requires one turn of charge before firing. Expends all units of Stored Matter. Each unit spent fires two bolts at any given target. Each bolt has different effects based on what kind of matter it is. And in addition, each bolt has an accuracy of (Velocity Uncertainty / 10) percent. So, if Cuarc is at 750% Velocity Uncertainty, each bolt has a 75% accuracy. This applies even to bolts with positive effects.
PZ: Deals 10,000 damage
GS: Deals 8,000 damage per turn, with the damage increasing by 2,000 each turn. This lasts for 1 turn per GS bolt that hit the target.
NU: A hit means the target's next attack is a mini-crit.
AZ: Restores 10,000 HP.
* Destabilize: Uses up one unit of matter to increase either Cuarc or Leictreon's Position Uncertainty by 100%.
And now for passives...
* This passive makes the entity actually fair: Whenever Cuarc dodges an attack, its Position Uncertainty goes down by 1/200th of the damage it would have taken.
* Linked Chances: If Cuarc's Position Uncertainty is more than Leictreon's at the end of the turn, Leictreon gains 50% Position Uncertainty and Cuarc loses 50% Position uncertainty.
* Storage Upgrade: If Cuarc and Leictreon spend a combined 3 units of matter, they can each get +2 maximum matter storage.
HP: 4/4. Yeah, anything that hits will destroy it.
Velocity Uncertainty: 0%
Position Uncertainty: 1000%
Matter Collection: _ _ _
Primed Matter: _ _ _
By default, the Position Uncertainty is Leictreon's dodge chance. This can dodge AOE attacks and other "undodgeable" attacks. Velocity Uncertainty helps add to Leictreon's attacks. Also, when Velocity Uncertainty is above 500%, Leictreon is considered to be airborn. Velocity and Position uncertainties always add up to 1000%. So when one drops, the other rises. When one rises, the other drops.
Actions:
* Chemical Beam: Deals 15,000 damage in a rather wimpy way.
* Matter Collection: Decreases Position Uncertainty by 50% and gives Leictreon one unit of AZ matter. I really hope this is never used.
* Atomic Reassemble: Converts one unit of matter into its Primed Alchemy state.
* Matter Transfer: Both Cuarc and Leictreon must use this attack on the same turn. Cuarc gives all its matter to Leictreon.
* Alchemy Shock: Uses up one unit of Primed Alchemy. The effect depends on what kind of matter it is. If Leictreon is above 500% Velocity Uncertainty, the effect also hits another target for half effect, rounded down. (these are really powerful because Cuarc has to collect the matter, transfer it to Leictreon, then Leictreon has to Prime it and use it. That's like 3 actions.)
- PZ: Deals 50,000 damage immediately and 10,000 per turn for three turns.
- GS: Deals 30,000 damage immediately and 10,000 per turn for three turns. Whenever Cuarc attacks the target, the debuff is extended by 1 turn.
- NU: Gives the target crits for the next three turns.
- AZ: Restores 75,000 HP immediately.
And now for passives...
* This passive makes the entity actually fair: Whenever Leictreon dodges an attack, its Position Uncertainty goes down by 1/200th of the damage it would have taken.
* Linked Chances: If Cuarc's Position Uncertainty is less than Leictreon's at the end of the turn, Leictreon loses 50% Position Uncertainty and Cuarc gains 50% Position uncertainty.
Commands:
Cuarc: __, __, __, __, __
Leictreon: PZ', GS, __, __, __
Cuarc attacks the Kazoomeister, gaining +2 PZ matter. Then it uses both of those pieces of matter plus one Leictreon's GS pieces of matter to upgrade storage to 5 for both. Leictreon does nothing. See action.
Action:
ACTION FOCUSED CHECKBOX: [ X ]
First, because I don't think this counts as an action, I use the Star card on Leictreon.
Second, how could I pass up this chance to make Gail actually useful and do a mind based attack?
Hey, Gail? Coulj you do something mathematical? You know, with the integral signs?
Um... ... okay... I guess... ... Just... anything?
Yes. Anything will be fine.
Gail then gets out a piece of paper and starts writing. ENGAGE MATHEMATICAL ASSAULT AGAINST DR. DR. DR. DR!
Take the polar equation r = 1 + cos(Θ). When this equation is graphed, what is the arc length from 0 to 2π?
First, we need to find dr/dΘ, or r'(Θ). Just take the derivative of cos, and we get dr/dΘ = -sin(Θ).
Second, we plug this into our arc length equation. L = ∫√(r² + (dr/dΘ)²)dΘ - > L = ∫√(1 + 2cos(Θ) + cos²(Θ) + sin²(Θ))dΘ. Because cos²(Θ) + sin²(Θ) = 1, we can simplify it to L = ∫√(2 + 2cos(Θ))dΘ.
Now we have to do some weird stuff to get rid of square root, such as multiplying the whole thing by √(2 - 2cos(Θ))/√(2 - 2cos(Θ)). That gets us to L = ∫(√(4 - 4cos²(Θ))/√(2 - 2cos(Θ)))dΘ. Now we need to simplify the top part.
Now to get rid of the absolute value sign, we can instead set the limits of integration to 0 to π. Sin is positive for all those values. And to counter balance this, we multiply the integral by 2 because the function is symmetrical over the x-axis. So, now we have...
L = 2 ∫(2sin(Θ)/√(2 - 2cos(Θ))dΘ
Now we need to do a substitution. Let u = 2 - 2cos(Θ). That means du = 2sin(Θ)dΘ. We can substitue this into our equation (because we have a 2sin(Θ)dΘ and a 2 - 2cos(Θ)). We also need to change the limits of integration because the original ones were in terms of Θ, not u. When Θ = 0, u = 0. When Θ = π, u = 4. So now we have...
L = 2 ∫(1/√(u))du
Now we can actually evaluate the integral. Taking the anti-derivative of u^(-1/2), we get...
L = 2 * (2√u)|
The | means we have to evaluate from 0 to 4. I can't really show it properly on a computer. So that's...
L = 2 * (2√4 - 2√0). So, after all this, it comes down to the incredibly difficult computation of 2 * 4 = 8. And there's your answer. All that work to reach the grand verdict of... 8. 8 units.
THE POWER OF CALCULUS COMPELS THY, DR. DR. DR. DR!
Plus, I can count this as a Mind attack.
Is that... okay?
Yeah, that was perfect. Thank you.
Gail was left wondering what that even did. She felt vaguely uneasy about it, though.
Alchemy and charges:
Powermace lvl 4, Stormforged Axe lvl 2, Charged Hammer lvl 2, Ekog Clock lvl 3, Coghammer lvl 3, Duotine Gas Generator lvl 5, TrueSilver Champion lvl 5, Argent Lance lvl 2, Sword of Justice lvl 3, Armor of Light lvl 7, Glacier Shield lvl 7, World Tree Shield lvl 10, Black Hold Shield lvl 10, Glove of the Sun lvl 3, Coal lvl1 (YERS!), Glyph of Mana lvl 6, Glyph of Life lvl 8, Glyph of Growth lvl
The Meaning of Life, the Universe, and Everything.
Join Date:
6/25/2013
Posts:
48
Member Details
13/50 Prototype (Redacted!)
11/25 Sleeper Agent
2/30 InterDimensional Rail Depot
Boom Drones:
HP:75,000
Attacks:
Bombing Run: Does 1,000 damage to 2 random enemies.
Specials:
Life Syrup Injector: Heals user by 20% of their HP
Buff Back: Prevents any buff or passive from being negated and those that were negated before are re applied
Inventory:
Data Crystal (Level 1)
Chaos Control "Sword" (Level 5)
Holocrom Datea Storige (Level 0)
Shockjewel Armor (Level 3)
Hmmm... oh wait... did I mention that each gate has its own security... true... what... You seriously expect these structures to not have a single protection?
The Control Panels actually suppressed the security from detecting the tampering and well you now get to see what happens when it stops working... now!
Infinite spawning Securo Drones spawn 3 per, note that the only attack units that have the 25% buff, there has to be some downside to it.
They are not not strong, about near 2-3 charge power level.
If all entities that were buffed dies, the structure goes into hibernation mode disabling the Buff, but it still stays due to Plot Reasons.
Also I command Dr Boom to use his special the Final CountBomb to attack Love, and you know what Southfrie as well because his rhyme is overrated, you know whats better rhyming?
The sound of a orchestra of exploding boom bots raining on the enemy, that's what it is.
On second thought... I think they hit everyone else as well but oh well more value for valuetown!
(Final CountBomb if you want to know heavily damages all PZ entities, puts a debuff on PZ entities that reduces attack by 10% for rest of turn, and makes DR Boom immune to damage and debuffs during that turn plus the attack goes first so theirs no circumventing the debuff.)
First of all let's use this card.
Hezetor activates the Sun on: the GS team if this card can target and destroy all the Gasterblasters, else on the PZ team.
Now let's attack Sans, manipulating the atoms of carbon of the ground I create 13 spears made of diamond that I telekinetically move to attack him, first of all spears 1 and 13 charge him from the front one aiming at the head the other at the torso while number 2 and 12 attack him from the right and left side, predicting the fact that he will dodge upwards I move number 3 to impale him from the upside down.
Now he probably dodged all of these spears anyway that's why the spears from number 4 to 10 are all moved in a random direction while he dodge just to this harder. After all this mess number 11 appears from the ground where he is standing, of course now that I'm out of spears Sans might think that he is safe from my attack and that's why I secretly created 71 other spears in the ground beneath him that I kept hidden until this moment that will impale him from the below.
Tarkus will use his fire breath attack on Dark Dreamy Bowser.
Module of atomic manipulation && Module of stasis manipulation && Module of quantum manipulation (neutrinos) = Module of Total Manipulation (Level 15: 6/16)
Module || A book on ultra-dense extrusion = Module of superior metallurgy (Level 10: 5/11)
I start doing a level system based on rudisplorking 3/50
And I stop helping consumer of all to become a godmodder and instead start a new charge:
alchemies
The Reinforcement && Book of support && Warp Zone gives Zone of Control 10/11
School of necromancy && The blasting pages && Green blood gives WISE FROM YO GWAVES 10/11
Then I try infinity of love && Damaged Transmutation field alternator gives ??? 2/??
I help proof of concept(three times)
Then I use an axe to cut the axis of logic.
I then make 31253654463265 pictures of cute things and I keep using the warp zone on everything to turn it in everything else at once then I use T1 To cast wish for having thousand of tons of shapesand.
Shapesand is a special kind of wasteland soil that is psychoreactive; it can be sculpted into any form according to your will.
The new object is made of sand, but serves as a normal item of the same sort. A shapesand hammer functions just like an ordinary hammer, and a shapesand waterskin is just as watertight as an ordinary skin.
I use the shapesand to build countless spaceships then I cast Awaken Sand onto each of them.
After that I make them all merge in a cute thing and I use the warp zone to turn all that in an even more cute creature
Then I transform it so that it have monk powers and so now its body is a weapon and then I use masterwork transformation on their body which is valid since it is a weapon then I use wish to enchant their bodies to add them funny enchants like "throwable" and "returning"(since it is masterwork it can be enchanted)
Then I train that thing so that it is very easy to mind control and I give it a helm to make it even easier to mind control then I use mindrape to make it want to be mind controled.
Nothing of that is done by me : it is made by a body outside of body of me
While all that is happening tazz makes so much nope it makes a plane of NOOOOOOOOOPPPEENOPENOPENOPE filled with nooopelementals.(and it probably cancel all those actions)
I use plane shift to get to the noplane and I try to fight a lord nooooooooopelemental.
This starts a sidequest: defeat the lord nooooooooopelemental.
Since sidequests are not supposed to be managed by tazz I do it myself.
I use T1 to attack the lord nooooooooopelemental: I cast twinned greater celerity until I have 2353426 actions and I use them all to cast twinned repeating maximized meteor swarms and pizzas.
lord nooooooooopelemental hp:33244 attacks: infinite nope iiii unlimited nopenopenope ii Tazz noppingness(make it reach the nopepower of tazz) iiiiiiiiiiii.
It takes 4000 damage from my attack
His HP is now 29244.
there is suddenly a new turn
lord nooooooooopelemental hp:29244 attacks: infinite nope Iiii
unlimited nopenopenope Ii Tazz noppingness(make it reach the nopepower
of tazz) Iiiiiiiiiiii.
I use a waterfall onto the lord nooooooooopelemental
he loose 250 hP
There is again a new turn
The lord use unlimited nopenopenope and evolve to be even more noppy
lord nooooooooopelemental hp:100000 attacks: infinite nope IIii
unlimited nopenopenope II Tazz noppingness(make it reach the nopepower
of tazz) IIiiiiiiiiii.
I use the warp zone to create a damaging damage.
The damaging damage complains about the unfairness of the battle and then decide to stop living.
I use T1 to cast resurrect onto it thus making its corpse explode violently
the lord nooooooooopelemental takes 5 damage
New turn
lord nooooooooopelemental hp:99995 attacks: infinite nope IIIi
unlimited nopenopenope ii Tazz noppingness(make it reach the nopepower
of tazz) IIIiiiiiiiii.
I attack the lord with a spoonlet which splits in thousand of sharp mirror shards
the lord nooooooooopelemental takes 2 damage
New turn
The lord use infinite nope and gains supreme nopepower.
lord nooooooooopelemental hp:4500000 attacks: infinite nope IIII
unlimited nopenopenope Ii Tazz noppingness(make it reach the nopepower
of tazz) IIIIiiiiiiii.
I use countless leornados and mileb beetles as well as battle standards, burning miscreations and undying archivists to attack the lord nooooooooopelemental
it avoids due to its overwhelming nopepower
New turn
the lord use again unlimited nopenopenope and becomes so much evolved it stops having meaning
lord nooooooooopelemental hp:45000000 attacks: infinite nope iiii
unlimited nopenopenope II Tazz noppingness(make it reach the nopepower
of tazz) IIIIIiiiiiii.
I stare completely paralyzed by the nope of the lord
New turn
lord nooooooooopelemental hp:45000000 attacks: infinite nope Iiii
unlimited nopenopenope ii Tazz noppingness(make it reach the nopepower
of tazz) IIIIIIiiiiii.
I stay paralyzed and I can not shrug off.
New turn
lord nooooooooopelemental hp:45000000 attacks: infinite nope IIii
unlimited nopenopenope Ii Tazz noppingness(make it reach the nopepower
of tazz) IIIIIIIiiiii.
I still can not move
New turn
The lord use yet another time unlimited nopenopenope and becomes so much crazily powerful it gains the power to wound players
lord nooooooooopelemental hp:999900000 attacks: infinite nope IIIi
unlimited nopenopenope II Tazz noppingness(make it reach the nopepower
of tazz) IIIIIIIIiiii.
Nulitor 10/10 HP
I find myself unable to act
New turn
The lord use yet another time infinite nope and its power becomes even more crazy
lord nooooooooopelemental hp:99999900000 attacks: infinite nope IIII
unlimited nopenopenope ii Tazz noppingness(make it reach the nopepower
of tazz) IIIIIIIIIiii.
Nulitor 10/10 HP
I can not breath anymore
New turn
The lord use yet another time unlimited nopenopenope and have such insane power bends reality
lord nooooooooopelemental hp:99999900000^9 attacks: infinite nope iiii
unlimited nopenopenope II Tazz noppingness(make it reach the nopepower
of tazz) IIIIIIIIIIIi.
Nulitor 9/10 HP
New turn
The lord use Tazz noppingness and gains ultra supreme powers of unlimited nope
lord nooooooooopelemental hp:Omega^Omega attacks: infinite nope Iiii
unlimited nopenopenope ii Tazz noppingness(make it reach the nopepower
of tazz) IIIIIIIIIIII.
Nulitor 1/10 HP
New turn
The lord sees too much late that it made an error and now that he figures out he suffers the effects because of cartoon physics: He did just absorbed the whole plane in which he was.
Thus he die and me too.
lord nooooooooopelemental hp:0 attacks: infinite nope IIii
unlimited nopenopenope Ii Tazz noppingness(make it reach the nopepower
of tazz) IIIIIIIIIIII.
Nulitor 0/10 HP
Happily it was a body outside body of me and this is why it had only half the HP of a normal player.
I use the traveler clause of wish to make the body of the lord nooooooooopelemental appear near me.
Then I use wish to have a gem big enough to cast trap the soul onto the lord nooooooooopelemental
I attempt to cast this spell until the lord nooooooooopelemental soul is trapped in the gem.
(Of course I have not lost T1 and the warp zone since I did put contingent spells for retrieving the items right before the body outside of body die)
Ante Up!: 34/50 ================================================== (+1 from Tazz)
The Pact: 46/50 ================================================== (+1 from Tazz)
+3 to mythicZoologist
Bomber shuddered again, feeling the clock tick down further. Anticipation nearly overwhelmed him, yet he kept his calm and collected exterior. He let out a deep sigh, lighting another cigar. Smoke filled the air as Bomber took a brief moment to unwind and prepare for what was to come. "How long has it been?" A brief, cynical smile crept across his face before falling to a neutral expression again. He knew the answer to that rhetorical question, asked to nobody in particular. Everything he had done up to this point was ultimately a failure. Not regarding his company, which would be considered a massive success in many dimensions and planes. It was something else that he had been pursuing for an eternity. Each time, a bitter failure.
"No, not this time..." He mumbled to himself between smokes. "This time, everything will change."
Maroon mists coiled around his right hand. Extending his arm outward, the mists gathered more densely, becoming a definite form. That form began to solidify, shedding the maroon color. It was revealed to be the Grand Warmaster Rocket Hammer, transported from his personal storage of ambiguous size and content. Wielding the large weapon with one hand was probably impossible for some of the mortal races, but it was easily manageable for Bomber.
Taking a wide swing, he struck the Hulk with a powerful blow. Dashing backwards as if he were gliding on air to dodge the Hulk's counter attack, he threw the weapon at the Hulk. It spun through the air rapidly before striking him square in the nose. The weapon bounced off, flipping backwards. Rushing forth, Bomber caught the weapon and immediately used it to attack the Hulk again, bashing him in the head.
While the Hulk was stunned Bomber used this opportunity to jump over the hulk. Pointing the hammer downward while in the air, he was able to catch the Hulk with its front. Flicking a switch, the immense rocket engine roared to life. The weapon was propelled forward, swinging the Hulk high into the air. The Hulk flew straight upward into the sky. Landing on the ground, Bomber looked upwards to watch the mutant, sunning his eyes to exaggerate the fact a little. Predicting where he would land, Bomber raised his arm. A massive spike of brimstone burst from the ground, ready to cushion the Hulk's fall. Yeah right. As expected, the Hulk landed straight on the jagged spire of stone and was impaled through his stomach. Unable to support his own immense weight, he slowly and painfully slid down the spire a few more inches.
Lowering his arm, the spike receded into the cracked earth again. The Hulk fell to the ground, motionless.
Spiked Bindings && Effigy of Lifelinking = Bonds of Mutual Suffering (Level 14: 8/15)
Eye of True Sight && Markerlight = The Oculus (Level 12: 5/13)
Festering Horn && Bottled Perish Song & Star of Chaos = The Doomsday Bell (Level 15: 5/16)
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
JECMQQUWS EMKMTTAP; BEM HTOSMZG GH DZWJ UMVAEQLV SPD DWZQWVAW PXDGE WTTI JDQOX IKL OJEY BEM VCRVMPB DKGSB XXHGACA JWJVAWA TQDN GZ UXL XTOX BEMAT FPIOA
The Pact: ================================================== 50/50
(+8 from TFT and jondanger, +5 from Revan, +2 from FBSN, +1 from piano and teag in reserve)
I +3 Bomber.
The Scribe links Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. to the YouTube video History of Japan by bill wurtz, a nine-minute-long epic that tells the entire history of Japan from ancient times to present day in the form of easy-to-understand language and oftentimes psychedelic visuals and audio. The sheer amount of knowledge and trivia in the video brings a tear to Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr.'s eyes. Then he goes over to Kardinal Kazoomeister, taking out a black kazoo. Before Kazoomeister can react, the Scribe has thrown the kazoo at him. It instantly lodges itself inside of Kazoomeister's mouth, sucking out his soul and forcing him to play it if he wants to live. However, the kazoo is cursed so the only song it can play is The Song That Never Ends. If Kazoomeister ever stops playing it, even for a second, he'll feel himself die more and more until nothing is left. After a half an hour, Kazoomeister is a blackened husk.
Can't just skip to the last few chapters, what kind of story would that be?
I open another portal, this time beneath Dr Andonuts, attempting to dump him into the mass of molten metal that is the nearest phoenix nest. I add an additional gravity well to ensure he doesn't simply try to levitate himself or some-such manner of evasion.
Entity orders:
See first post.
Main Roleplay Chunk:
"No?"
"Okay then, I'm not sure when or if I'll see any of you again..."
Mythic simply walks into the portal, which collapses behind them.
"Finally, ."
He walks through a dark, straight tunnel, moving towards a light from the far side. Occasionally pitch-black limbs, belonging to no creature, reach from the sides, he evades them with casual ease.
...A short time passes..
A shadowy gateway manifests in the Scribe's vicinity, lasting only long enough for Mythic to step out before it vanishes in much the same way as it appeared.
Can You Spare... A Heart? ========== 36/50 : Still, I never thought I'd have to have inverted over something like... This.
Siren Song ===== 15/20 : I try calling some sirens for help, but they won't answer their phones. This is why I like working with animals and not people, even if that line seems really blurry at times.
Ante Up!: 35/50 ==================================================
The Pact: 50/50 ================================================== (+3 from Twin)
+3 to mythicZoologist
Zarod uses Strangle on Love! The Cleric Beast will attack the Clockwork Legates of the Broken Church!
Bomber uses the R.N.G. one more time, aiming at the Hulk.
[ ICE | ICE | ICE ]
( On the d8 roll: 6, 5, 6 )
The R.N.G. shudders for a moment while playing a joyous chime. Teal lights flash around the edges of the slot interface. The air around the gun immediately becomes colder by ten degrees and continues to drop rapidly. Frost gathers at the end of the gun's barrel. Suddenly, a literal blizzard blows out of the front of the gun. All other noises are deafened by the raging blizzard, which is concentrated at the Hulk. The onslaught of severe wintry weather proved too much for the Hulk, causing him to take a fair amount of damage. On top of that, he is inflicted with Frostburn, which is essentially a DoT. Lastly, he becomes Frozen, meaning he cannot act unless he takes damage (from a non Frostburn source) in which case he takes a little extra from the attack that targets him since it will shatter the ice. Of course, if that is a little too much for the sake of balance, he is merely Chilled, meaning that every turn there is a chance he will be unable to act. This effect persists for a while as well.
Spiked Bindings && Effigy of Lifelinking = Bonds of Mutual Suffering (Level 14: 7/15)
Eye of True Sight && Markerlight = The Oculus (Level 12: 6/13)
Festering Horn && Bottled Perish Song & Star of Chaos = The Doomsday Bell (Level 15: 6/16)
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
JECMQQUWS EMKMTTAP; BEM HTOSMZG GH DZWJ UMVAEQLV SPD DWZQWVAW PXDGE WTTI JDQOX IKL OJEY BEM VCRVMPB DKGSB XXHGACA JWJVAWA TQDN GZ UXL XTOX BEMAT FPIOA
Huzzah! At long last, the update is done! Be aware, there's new PZ entities on the field, and the pre-existing ones have almost certainly filled up their charges!
Walker: Level 2, 921500 damage
Status effect gained: Female (small penalty to damage and max health, small bonus to accuracy and dodge chance) (yes this more than likely won't actually change anything at all but honestly this is an opportunity to experiment with flipping genders of some of my characters)
+3 to battlefury13
CAP: 25/50 (+6 from battlefury13, +4 from UserZero, +1 from latedop)
Due to unforeseen circumstances involving a link to a website, Walker ends up turned into a girl - long hair, breasts, the whole deal. There is a pause, then she stares down at herself, clearly bewildered.
"WHAT. WHY AM I... JUST... WHAT... IS THIS REAL?"
She pokes herself experimentally.
"OKAY YEP THAT'S REAL I'M FEMALE NOW. THIS FEELS WEIRD."
After getting over the oddity of having flipped gender, she picks up her sword again, seemingly having a little difficulty with the weight of it. Strange. It hadn't been that much to her back when she was male... Nonetheless, she decides to do what she does best, leaping through the air at Sans and taking a swing at him. She seems to be moving faster than before, although she's a bit unbalanced due to the change in weight and strength that happened to her as a result of gender flipping. Regardless of a hit or miss, she lets out a huffy sigh, gracefully retreating by turning and sprinting back over to the PZ side of the field. Yep, she's definitely moving faster now than she was as a guy, although she seems a bit... unused to her new body.
GODDAMN IT
STUPID GENDERFLIP VIRUS
Well, would you look at that! The Snow Tank has been upgraded! I owe whoever did that one, so please identify yourself! I'll +Assist you for the next few turns.
Also, what happens if you're going to have a charge that leads into a sidequest?
Action 1/2
Shock Trooper Part A: 45/50
Shock Trooper Part B: 20/50
I, noticing Ultra Greed's critical condition, heal him up with the Super Prototype Medigun and reduce some of the damage he might take!
Über: 2/9 [IIIIIIIII]
Support: 32/100
An alternate timeline emerges.
However, we must first start from the beginning...
Hm... It's been a while since Uzi's taken damage, hasn't it...
Wait... I can feel something...
Magna Firma Orbis Terrae 4/16
Greater Orb of Earth 4/11
Orb of Earth 4/6
4/10 for earth elemental
4/20 for earth archons
6/50 for earth titan.
+3 to revan
Think back far, far into the past... the early days of the thread when silliness still reigned supreme above all else.
A time back when George was still a player in this war...
It's time for one of my famous...
CALLBACK ATTACKS!!!
Uzi hears something. A... squeak? She doesn't recognize it at first, but then she realizes...
IT'S HER PET PENGUIN FROM PAGE 9!
How did it get on the battlefield? It was teleported away to a safe dimension and should be completely safe from harm...
But yet, there it is, on the far edge of the battlefield, but not only is it on the far edge of the battlefield...
But it's being terrorized by the giant rubber duck that got launched into the ether on Page 3 as well!
Oh no!
Uzi realizes what must have happened, her using her powers to port the two birds must have left open a doorway, and in the months that followed the duck was able to pursue the penguin, and in a fit of jealousy after discovering that Uzi was a duck lover upon watching the subsequent rubber-duck based attack and yet Uzi still loved the penguin more than it, it having been stuffed into the ether and left there to rot, it pursued the pet penguin in an effort to extinguish its competition!
And across a great trek the penguin was assailed across dimensions until finally it found its way back to its mother, but alas and alack, the poor thing's energy has run out.
Uzi immediately runs to try and save her pet penguin, will she get there in time?
Will she?
Will She?
WILL SHE!?!?!
Of course she will, she's an omega+ godmodder.
She knocks the rubber duck into the stratosphere and hugs her beloved pet penguin.
Never again, never again will she let anything hur...
What's that noise.
Uzi realizes a split-second too late to block with her godmodding powers that this is, in fact, not her pet penguin, but instead the BLUE SHELL from PAGE 3!
For reference, when the blue shell was launched at Uzi, it flew off into the distance, apparently seeking a far more important target... as it turns out, said target was future Uzi.
The blue shell and duck had met together in the crossroads of time and fate, and agreed together that the two of them could not let their attacks become forgotten setups, that they must return to the battlefield one day and indeed must DO SOMETHING when they returned. And thus they have returned to fulfill their ancient pact.
The blue shell hits Uzi, and since she was taken in by this magnificent dupe, she is unable to apply any of her defenses to blocking it.
((Goooooo first damage to a godmodder ever. Pleaseletthisworkforoncepleaseletthisworkforoncepleaseletthisworkforonce))
DTG Co Labs
Nope, sorry guys, no Destroy the Godmodder relevant stuff here...
At least, not yet.
I throw a couple shield generators around Mettaton EX.
Marvel of Machinery: 25/50 Yay! Half-way done!
some loser: 18/25
Spur && Mirror && Piece of Paper With the Infinity Symbol On It = Ad Infinitum (4/16)
+2 to twin
Avatar: The generic Steve avatar
It's High Noon
4/50 Command Bonus (+1 me, +1 tazz)
25/50 Nexar Spawner (+1 me)
22/50 Avatar Project (+1 me)
Ender Hook || Gravity Gun == Block Redirector (Level 5: 4/6)
Psi-Amp: SCP-155 chip || Shield Generator == Stasis (Level 9: 4/10)
Cube Drone Schematic && Shock Drone Schematic == Barrier Drone Schematic (2/??)
PS: Now that Crusher48 "left" due to an "emergency", I can use all these spots to build drone schematics so that I can make really powerful drones! Unlike Crusher48's "I made this awesome thing but I never actually use it" mentality.
Now that sans is suitably protected, I prepare to launch an attack on Richard. However, suddenly OH NO SOMEONE IS HACKING MY S$%#T&)(*MS A436q603%&* (#)@)%*(!# !_86@*!$*%_#4864)!&%!*_^&_)@*$2amp;^@2_#%(*!@_^864!_)&*!#%_)!^_)!*$_!)*^_!#*
We interrupt your regular program of "EXOS doing stupid stuff" to give you big news:
We are going to rebalance your game!
To
give us extra moneyenhance gameplay, we are making it so that all entities half half the HP but do twice the damage! This way, the EOTBs will resolve faster, as entities die faster. So what if it makes your 50-post charges way less useful, am I right?Okay, this can only be one thing: KIXEYE. A money-making scheme thinly disguised as a game, exploiting thousands that actually think their "games" are entertaining. Think like Candy Crush, except that in these games you get even less gameplay and other players can invade you and blow up everything to force you to pay money to have a chance to fight back. Also, way more farming.
Don't feel so bad, EXOS. We fixed the bug that killed your Hyperstorm boss. We can't exactly refund you for it, but still, that bug won't happen again!
Oh yeah, they also have "bugs" that are more like malicious actions disguised as bugs, that steal your resources, make you lose valuable time dealing with them, and cause you to lose battles solely because their server failed. Odds are, if they "fixed" that "bug", that means they caused it.
So here are the tentative stats for the Unicorn-Class Corporate Headquarters ship. It's design purpose is to allow us to use all the money we squeeze out of anyone still investing in our game to aid in our operations to take over this game and potentially recover our revenue stream.
Unicorn-Class Corporate Headquarters: 250000 HP,
10000000 Coins. Rebalance: |||||. Convenient Bug: |||. Wider Market: ||||. Pro Pilot: Piloting Squadrons. Ban-Hammer: Active. Special Event: |||||||ISC Coin Alliance Fleet:
<really hard to spell norse name> Carrier x1: 50000 HP, 10000 Shields. Boosts all allied ships for +25% damage. Launches 4 Squadrons per turn.
Carrier Squadrons: 5000 HP each. One round after being spawned, attacks a target for damage equal to remaining HP.
Vigilante Battleship x4: 20000 HP, 5000 Shields, 4000 damage.
Machete Destroyer x6: 10000 HP, 3000 true damage (cannot be stopped by any defenses).
Python Cutter x6: 15000 HP, 5000 Shields, must spend one round closing to engagement range before attacking, but then attacks for 7500 damage.
Hurricane Frigate x6: 10000 HP, 10000 Shields, 25% dodge chance, 3000 damage.
Heretic Cruiser x6: 20000 HP, 10000 Shields, 2000 damage, 75% chance for a random Heretic Cruiser to intercept an attack aimed at another ISC Ship or against the Unicorn and take the damage instead as long as at least one is alive.
Note: all shields are designed to fully regenerate after the end of each EOTB, but only block 80% of incoming damage, with the rest going to hull. In addition, resistance systems reduce damage from entities (but not players) against our units by 50%. Lastly, standard repair repairs all non-destroyed ships for 1000 HP each EOTB.
Whales x250: Each one will spend 1 Coin to boost our efforts each turn, and we can acquire at least 25 more whales to increase our supplies every turn. Enemies may be able to make them flee and stop spending with us, but it would take a concerted effort to overcome our recruitment efforts, and if they fail they could just make the Whales spend more! (note: whales take the same effort as causing 1000 points of damage to remove each one, 2000 damage if the CM is active)
Coins: We can gather coins either by waiting for the Whales to spend money to aid us, or by selling Charge Tokens at the rate of 100 Coins per charge token (max 1 charge token per customer per post). We can use these coins for many actions:
Instant Repair: For 50 coins, we can instantly return a destroyed ISC ship to full health, or repair the Unicorn or another high-health ally for 50000 HP.
Bribery: For a cost of at least 10 Coins for every charge point of charge that an entity has (potentially more for the more... stubborn entities), we can bribe the enemy entities to change sides and aid our operations. Note that bribed allies demand a constant payment of coins equal to their charge point per turn, so make sure to get rid of them quickly.
Build Fleet: For 500 coins, we can instantly build an additional fleet of ships to aid in our operations (stats will depend based on what type of fleet we build).
Expand Market: For an initial investment of 250 coins, we can expand the platforms that our game runs on, doubling the amount of extra whales we can acquire each turn.
Recruit Employees: Recruits additional employees to give us additional actions. Costs 200-500 coins depending on what type of employee we pick up.
Personnel: The Unicorn will have our best team member on board to ensure its success:
CEO: The CEO can, once every 5 turns, create a rebalance that allows us to change game mechanics to our benefit. These rebalances require one additional turn to take effect, but once they are in effect will last forever (or until the Unicorn somehow gets destroyed).
Developer: Our Developer can, once every 3 turns, create a bug that cripples an enemy's stats, causing 50% integrity damage to it and removing some abilities from it (or reducing its damage, or increasing damage against it) for 3 turns.
Community Manager: The Community Manager's job is to reduce the effect of enemies trying to drive off our Whales by spinning stories. Normally, this would make such efforts 50% less effective, but we also know our Community Manager has a 25% chance to actually agree with player's ideas about our Whales, and thus could potentially sabotage our efforts in an attempt to fix these "errors".
Pro Pilot: The Pro Pilot we recruited from among our Whale stock can pilot one group of ships at a time, increasing that group's evasion by 50% and giving that group's attack 50% greater effect.
Moderator: The Moderator carries a Lock-Saw that can remove offensive posts (aka anything aimed at us), eliminating one enemy post against us each turn.
Special Event: Special Events can be run to provide a huge bonus. These events last for 3 rounds. During the events, our whales produce twice as much coins, and we can add additional mechanics to the battle (the usual use will be to add additional overpowered VEGA fleets that give bonuses if players manage to bring them down, but also inflict extreme damage on enemies).
With all these advantages, we cannot lose.
(Note: As far as the in-game "factions" system goes, we are on the Hostile faction. We are attempting a HOSTILE Takeover after all, not a Neutral Takeover or an Anti-Whoever Takeover.
Wait, are you guys at all mad that the old UOSS my creator made is actually partly a rip-off of base designs in your game?
Yes, our lawyers say that was half the reason we came here.
At this point, they SHOULD have gotten OP Scale'd off the face of this server (unfortunately sending them back to terrorize and steal money from the general populace again), but if they somehow were not OP Scale'd away, I take several actions. First, I teleport Ultra Greed inside their ship to steal all their money (which, given that Ultra Greed needs far less money to do all his stuff, should turn him so insane that the OP Scale would bag him too). I then add my Army Of Monkeys as entities, and gather up some rebels that are sick of these guys to defend the Army Of Monkeys.
Army Of Monkeys [N]: 10000 HP. Better Game: |||||||||| Immune to Convenient Bugs (they are also better bugfixers than KIXEYE is)
(if completed, the game will drain half of KIXEYE's whales away, and may add them as GS Whales to give us coins as well)
Rebel Ragnarok Carrier x3 [N]: 40000 HP, 10000 Shields. Boosts all allied ships with a "small" speed bonus that actually makes them nearly impossible to hit, giving up to 3 friendly Dread Battleships per carrier +75% evasion against entity attacks. Launches 4 Squadrons per round. Likely target of Convenient Bugs because KIXEYE hates them.
Carrier Squadrons: 5000 HP each. One round after being spawned, attacks a target for damage equal to remaining HP.
Dread Battleship x9 [N]: 10000 HP, 10000 Shields, 5000 damage.
These units are ONLY here to fight KIXEYE (they will not follow orders to attack anything else), and will leave when KIXEYE is destroyed (or gets OP Scale'd).
Also, since KIXEYE's flagship has a Boss on board in the form of their CEO, they would drop a Spoil known as the Rebalancer that allows someone to rebalance the game rules for 3 turns with a 10 turn cooldown. But we all know these guys just made a suicidal attack and are getting OP Scale'd anyways since they couldn't hijack my charged actions, right? Sucks for them too, it looks like they made a rather good boss design. (Having UserZero pick these guys up and use them as the next Gatekeeper wouldn't really be out of place, though)
20/20 DEPLOYING AS ATTACK, PROBABLY USELESSLY
19/50
+2 Consumerofall
I hire the World's Best Sniper. He's like the World's Best Minecrafter, but a Sniper instead. I tell him that he needs to hit Sans, just once... whatever the cost.
To begin, he goes on a quest for the World's Most Accurate Weapon. For space purposes, I think it's best we skip over the little details, like the 25,000 floor dungeon, sharks, and evil forces of Porcupine Lawyerhood. Let's just say, he eventually found a very, ordinary, standard-looking bow, that was in reality, anything BUT a standard, ordinary-looking bow.
It was a bow, finely crafted many years ago by some of the very first people who played Minecraft, imbued with raw potential, and most of all... accuracy. Extreme, raw, accuracy. It's arrows fly at lightning speed-no, faster- straight towards their target, pierce anything (any shielding, or blocking) in their way, deal moderate damage to make up for it, and seem to almost supernaturally home in on whatever they're aimed at.
When the sniper returns with the bow, I "modify" him a bit-with psionic implants. Psionic implants that not only replace his eyes with autotargeters (human error is now a thing of the past), they also boost his accuracy further-a firm grip, a perfect draw, a perfect EVERYTHING. All the technology is the latest and greatest advancements-immune to short circuiting, bugs, viruses, errors of any kind whatsoever.
All of these buffs boost his accuracy to at LEAST a solid 110-115%, and I wouldn't be surprised if it went a good deal higher.
I have him set up a short ways away from Sans. I hired the sniper, found the weapon, and made the arrangements in the utmost of secrecy-Sans probably doesn't know. Then, when Sans is looking away, I throw my 20 charges in his attack and...
FIRE!
Check out my bad CTM map reviews here.
@Tazz: I spend 4 of each token to buy Conviction once, giving me +5 HP and +1 HP regen. Also, what would be the HP and damage average of a 200 post entity?
@Battlefury: That's the last time I give you an Elytra...
Adventurer Class. Put into a URL to preserve that rare resource known as Tazz sanity.
Class Tracking:
Attitude: None (2/3 mind)
Tokens: (4, 1, 1)
Total Tokens (8, 5, 5)
Commands:
Cuarc: __, __, __, __, __
Leictreon: PZ', GS, __, __, __
Cuarc attacks the Kazoomeister, gaining +2 PZ matter. Then it uses both of those pieces of matter plus one Leictreon's GS pieces of matter to upgrade storage to 5 for both. Leictreon does nothing. See action.
Action:
ACTION FOCUSED CHECKBOX: [ X ]
First, because I don't think this counts as an action, I use the Star card on Leictreon.
Second, how could I pass up this chance to make Gail actually useful and do a mind based attack?
Hey, Gail? Coulj you do something mathematical? You know, with the integral signs?
Um... ... okay... I guess... ... Just... anything?
Yes. Anything will be fine.
Gail then gets out a piece of paper and starts writing. ENGAGE MATHEMATICAL ASSAULT AGAINST DR. DR. DR. DR!
Take the polar equation r = 1 + cos(Θ). When this equation is graphed, what is the arc length from 0 to 2π?
First, we need to find dr/dΘ, or r'(Θ). Just take the derivative of cos, and we get dr/dΘ = -sin(Θ).
Second, we plug this into our arc length equation. L = ∫√(r² + (dr/dΘ)²)dΘ - > L = ∫√(1 + 2cos(Θ) + cos²(Θ) + sin²(Θ))dΘ. Because cos²(Θ) + sin²(Θ) = 1, we can simplify it to L = ∫√(2 + 2cos(Θ))dΘ.
Now we have to do some weird stuff to get rid of square root, such as multiplying the whole thing by √(2 - 2cos(Θ))/√(2 - 2cos(Θ)). That gets us to L = ∫(√(4 - 4cos²(Θ))/√(2 - 2cos(Θ)))dΘ. Now we need to simplify the top part.
√(4 - 4cos²(Θ)) - > √(1 - cos²(Θ)) * √(4) - > 2 * √(1 - cos²(Θ)) - > 2 √(sin²(Θ)) - > 2|sin(Θ)|
Now to get rid of the absolute value sign, we can instead set the limits of integration to 0 to π. Sin is positive for all those values. And to counter balance this, we multiply the integral by 2 because the function is symmetrical over the x-axis. So, now we have...
L = 2 ∫(2sin(Θ)/√(2 - 2cos(Θ))dΘ
Now we need to do a substitution. Let u = 2 - 2cos(Θ). That means du = 2sin(Θ)dΘ. We can substitue this into our equation (because we have a 2sin(Θ)dΘ and a 2 - 2cos(Θ)). We also need to change the limits of integration because the original ones were in terms of Θ, not u. When Θ = 0, u = 0. When Θ = π, u = 4. So now we have...
L = 2 ∫(1/√(u))du
Now we can actually evaluate the integral. Taking the anti-derivative of u^(-1/2), we get...
L = 2 * (2√u)|
The | means we have to evaluate from 0 to 4. I can't really show it properly on a computer. So that's...
L = 2 * (2√4 - 2√0). So, after all this, it comes down to the incredibly difficult computation of 2 * 4 = 8. And there's your answer. All that work to reach the grand verdict of... 8. 8 units.
THE POWER OF CALCULUS COMPELS THY, DR. DR. DR. DR!
Plus, I can count this as a Mind attack.
Is that... okay?
Yeah, that was perfect. Thank you.
Gail was left wondering what that even did. She felt vaguely uneasy about it, though.
Alchemy and charges:
(Paper && Ink Dye) || (Wither Skeleton Skull && Podzol) = Glyph of Decay 3/?
(Paper && Light Grey Ink) || (Quartz && Glass && Gold) = Glyph of Purity 1/? (Cure debuffs, hopefully)
PowerMace && Stormforged Axe && Charged Hammer && Dr.Balanced's Boombot = The BoomHammer 3/13
Got +3, but probably +4. +1 to Hezetor, +1 to Pricey, +1 to Toast.
44/50 Barring anything weird happening, this is going to be for fixing Earth.
19/50
19/50
There's a difference between a hero and a champion. A champion overcomes threats, but a hero overcomes fears.
All my maps, click here.
Then there's also a Youtube channel I'm somewhat involved in.
Flakthrower && Ichor Bullets = Armor Piercer 8/9 (Some of you might see where I am going with this.)
Deus Noctem && Life Shaver II Machine Gun = Deterio Inclina 4/16
Dualizer && Heaven's Gate && Devil's Sunrise = Dual Balance 3/13
+2 IGN, +1 Ire
The Artist and The Yandere 20/50
Winchester Rotomo 26/30 (+1 from FBSN)
Save the World... Sort of 10/50
Mettaton EX uses DA POWER OF LEGS (The whole reason I summoned him :P) to interrupt Southfrie's Rhythm!
I guess I'll reveal a little secret.
Redstone pulls out a short Magic Pencil, and suddenly it flashes red. He begins to draw something.
It turns out to be the Time Symbol.
I live in another universe as the God of Time.
Not literally, though. I'm just a Page.
He begins to draw more symbols, which start being flung towards le Hulk.
I just took the Minecraft Noob test! Check out what I scored. Think you can beat me?!
To take the test, check out
http://minecraftnoobtest.com/test.php
War, war never changes.
The Beginning.
http://technoterra.myminicity.com
13/50 Prototype (Redacted!)
11/25 Sleeper Agent
2/30 InterDimensional Rail Depot
Boom Drones:
HP:75,000
Attacks:
Bombing Run: Does 1,000 damage to 2 random enemies.
Specials:
Life Syrup Injector: Heals user by 20% of their HP
Buff Back: Prevents any buff or passive from being negated and those that were negated before are re applied
Inventory:
Data Crystal (Level 1)
Chaos Control "Sword" (Level 5)
Holocrom Datea Storige (Level 0)
Shockjewel Armor (Level 3)
Hmmm... oh wait... did I mention that each gate has its own security... true... what... You seriously expect these structures to not have a single protection?
The Control Panels actually suppressed the security from detecting the tampering and well you now get to see what happens when it stops working... now!
Infinite spawning Securo Drones spawn 3 per, note that the only attack units that have the 25% buff, there has to be some downside to it.
They are not not strong, about near 2-3 charge power level.
If all entities that were buffed dies, the structure goes into hibernation mode disabling the Buff, but it still stays due to Plot Reasons.
Also I command Dr Boom to use his special the Final CountBomb to attack Love, and you know what Southfrie as well because his rhyme is overrated, you know whats better rhyming?
The sound of a orchestra of exploding boom bots raining on the enemy, that's what it is.
On second thought... I think they hit everyone else as well but oh well more value for valuetown!
(Final CountBomb if you want to know heavily damages all PZ entities, puts a debuff on PZ entities that reduces attack by 10% for rest of turn, and makes DR Boom immune to damage and debuffs during that turn plus the attack goes first so theirs no circumventing the debuff.)
\==STATUS==/ POST 2/2
XSlayer300 ????/????
The Sword 16/50 I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I CHARGING 16/50 (NEEDS ASSIST!)
A Flower 3/50 I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I CHARGING 3/50 (NEEDS ASSIST!)
Inbound ??/?? ==========?????========== CHARGING ??/?? (NEEDS ASSIST!)
\==ACTIONS==/
-Player Actions-
Charging: The Sword 16/50
A Flower 3/50
Inbound ??/??
Assisting: "To save the earth, 1 charge at a time"
I call 151 from my radio. Then I threw it at the PZ zone in loudspeaker.
"Hello. You dead."
Then I fighter-dodge sans in the face. Then shoot rapid mini-laz0rs to sans legs.
\==STORY/RP==/
Now, the sword shines very brightly. But since the Titan is destroyed, the sword shines more bright than before.
Pieces are taking the shape of the sword, but it will take time once more.
Then, it flashed. From cyan, to purple. In a very short time.
XSlayer300. Idles. He also compliments Twin's creation.
"'Your best Nightmare?' Well that's a record, it's a good summon/action. Let's push our line."
*flashback*
"But, the old man said that if you're the one. You can have your, well Origin. The Overworld's Origin."
\==ETC==/
/NA
\==INVENTORY==/
Offensive:
Rainbow Minigun [iiiii] 0/5
Summoners:
Radio
Rainbow Chest
Misc:
Card, 2 of Hearts. (Heals half of the max HP of the Entity.)
I am still here, as always.
The rest of them:
http://pastebin.com/dAiKBKaX
First of all let's use this card.
Hezetor activates the Sun on: the GS team if this card can target and destroy all the Gasterblasters, else on the PZ team.
Now let's attack Sans, manipulating the atoms of carbon of the ground I create 13 spears made of diamond that I telekinetically move to attack him, first of all spears 1 and 13 charge him from the front one aiming at the head the other at the torso while number 2 and 12 attack him from the right and left side, predicting the fact that he will dodge upwards I move number 3 to impale him from the upside down.
Now he probably dodged all of these spears anyway that's why the spears from number 4 to 10 are all moved in a random direction while he dodge just to this harder. After all this mess number 11 appears from the ground where he is standing, of course now that I'm out of spears Sans might think that he is safe from my attack and that's why I secretly created 71 other spears in the ground beneath him that I kept hidden until this moment that will impale him from the below.
Tarkus will use his fire breath attack on Dark Dreamy Bowser.
Spadaccino 49/50
...... 39/50
... 16/50 +1 from Talist +1 from Piono
Module && Mithril && Orichalcum && Adamantium = Metallica Module (Level 10: 7/11)
Module of atomic manipulation && Module of stasis manipulation && Module of quantum manipulation (neutrinos) = Module of Total Manipulation (Level 15: 6/16)
Module || A book on ultra-dense extrusion = Module of superior metallurgy (Level 10: 5/11)
+1 Talist, + 1 Pricey and +1 Toast.
I keep working onto rebuilding the earth 24/50
I start doing a level system based on rudisplorking 3/50
And I stop helping consumer of all to become a godmodder and instead start a new charge:
alchemies
The Reinforcement && Book of support && Warp Zone gives Zone of Control 10/11
School of necromancy && The blasting pages && Green blood gives WISE FROM YO GWAVES 10/11
Then I try infinity of love && Damaged Transmutation field alternator gives ??? 2/??
I help proof of concept(three times)
Then I use an axe to cut the axis of logic.
I then make 31253654463265 pictures of cute things and I keep using the warp zone on everything to turn it in everything else at once then I use T1 To cast wish for having thousand of tons of shapesand.
I use the shapesand to build countless spaceships then I cast Awaken Sand onto each of them.
After that I make them all merge in a cute thing and I use the warp zone to turn all that in an even more cute creature
Then I transform it so that it have monk powers and so now its body is a weapon and then I use masterwork transformation on their body which is valid since it is a weapon then I use wish to enchant their bodies to add them funny enchants like "throwable" and "returning"(since it is masterwork it can be enchanted)
Then I train that thing so that it is very easy to mind control and I give it a helm to make it even easier to mind control then I use mindrape to make it want to be mind controled.
Nothing of that is done by me : it is made by a body outside of body of me
While all that is happening tazz makes so much nope it makes a plane of NOOOOOOOOOPPPEENOPENOPENOPE filled with nooopelementals.(and it probably cancel all those actions)
I use plane shift to get to the noplane and I try to fight a lord nooooooooopelemental.
This starts a sidequest: defeat the lord nooooooooopelemental.
Since sidequests are not supposed to be managed by tazz I do it myself.
I use T1 to attack the lord nooooooooopelemental: I cast twinned greater celerity until I have 2353426 actions and I use them all to cast twinned repeating maximized meteor swarms and pizzas.
lord nooooooooopelemental hp:33244 attacks: infinite nope iiii unlimited nopenopenope ii Tazz noppingness(make it reach the nopepower of tazz) iiiiiiiiiiii.
It takes 4000 damage from my attack
His HP is now 29244.
there is suddenly a new turn
lord nooooooooopelemental hp:29244 attacks: infinite nope Iiii
unlimited nopenopenope Ii Tazz noppingness(make it reach the nopepower
of tazz) Iiiiiiiiiiii.
I use a waterfall onto the lord nooooooooopelemental
he loose 250 hP
There is again a new turn
The lord use unlimited nopenopenope and evolve to be even more noppy
lord nooooooooopelemental hp:100000 attacks: infinite nope IIii
unlimited nopenopenope II Tazz noppingness(make it reach the nopepower
of tazz) IIiiiiiiiiii.
I use the warp zone to create a damaging damage.
The damaging damage complains about the unfairness of the battle and then decide to stop living.
I use T1 to cast resurrect onto it thus making its corpse explode violently
the lord nooooooooopelemental takes 5 damage
New turn
lord nooooooooopelemental hp:99995 attacks: infinite nope IIIi
unlimited nopenopenope ii Tazz noppingness(make it reach the nopepower
of tazz) IIIiiiiiiiii.
I attack the lord with a spoonlet which splits in thousand of sharp mirror shards
the lord nooooooooopelemental takes 2 damage
New turn
The lord use infinite nope and gains supreme nopepower.
lord nooooooooopelemental hp:4500000 attacks: infinite nope IIII
unlimited nopenopenope Ii Tazz noppingness(make it reach the nopepower
of tazz) IIIIiiiiiiii.
I use countless leornados and mileb beetles as well as battle standards, burning miscreations and undying archivists to attack the lord nooooooooopelemental
it avoids due to its overwhelming nopepower
New turn
the lord use again unlimited nopenopenope and becomes so much evolved it stops having meaning
lord nooooooooopelemental hp:45000000 attacks: infinite nope iiii
unlimited nopenopenope II Tazz noppingness(make it reach the nopepower
of tazz) IIIIIiiiiiii.
I stare completely paralyzed by the nope of the lord
New turn
lord nooooooooopelemental hp:45000000 attacks: infinite nope Iiii
unlimited nopenopenope ii Tazz noppingness(make it reach the nopepower
of tazz) IIIIIIiiiiii.
I stay paralyzed and I can not shrug off.
New turn
lord nooooooooopelemental hp:45000000 attacks: infinite nope IIii
unlimited nopenopenope Ii Tazz noppingness(make it reach the nopepower
of tazz) IIIIIIIiiiii.
I still can not move
New turn
The lord use yet another time unlimited nopenopenope and becomes so much crazily powerful it gains the power to wound players
lord nooooooooopelemental hp:999900000 attacks: infinite nope IIIi
unlimited nopenopenope II Tazz noppingness(make it reach the nopepower
of tazz) IIIIIIIIiiii.
Nulitor 10/10 HP
I find myself unable to act
New turn
The lord use yet another time infinite nope and its power becomes even more crazy
lord nooooooooopelemental hp:99999900000 attacks: infinite nope IIII
unlimited nopenopenope ii Tazz noppingness(make it reach the nopepower
of tazz) IIIIIIIIIiii.
Nulitor 10/10 HP
I can not breath anymore
New turn
The lord use yet another time unlimited nopenopenope and have such insane power bends reality
lord nooooooooopelemental hp:99999900000^9 attacks: infinite nope iiii
unlimited nopenopenope II Tazz noppingness(make it reach the nopepower
of tazz) IIIIIIIIIIIi.
Nulitor 9/10 HP
New turn
The lord use Tazz noppingness and gains ultra supreme powers of unlimited nope
lord nooooooooopelemental hp:Omega^Omega attacks: infinite nope Iiii
unlimited nopenopenope ii Tazz noppingness(make it reach the nopepower
of tazz) IIIIIIIIIIII.
Nulitor 1/10 HP
New turn
The lord sees too much late that it made an error and now that he figures out he suffers the effects because of cartoon physics: He did just absorbed the whole plane in which he was.
Thus he die and me too.
lord nooooooooopelemental hp:0 attacks: infinite nope IIii
unlimited nopenopenope Ii Tazz noppingness(make it reach the nopepower
of tazz) IIIIIIIIIIII.
Nulitor 0/10 HP
Happily it was a body outside body of me and this is why it had only half the HP of a normal player.
I use the traveler clause of wish to make the body of the lord nooooooooopelemental appear near me.
Then I use wish to have a gem big enough to cast trap the soul onto the lord nooooooooopelemental
I attempt to cast this spell until the lord nooooooooopelemental soul is trapped in the gem.
(Of course I have not lost T1 and the warp zone since I did put contingent spells for retrieving the items right before the body outside of body die)
Alchemies
Invidia Warded Jar && Rune of Envy && SCP-1133-5 && 2x Electrum Shears = Twin Shears of Leviathan (10/13)
Lucrum Warded Jar && Rune of Greed && SCP-1133-3 && Silver Spoon = Mammon's Spoon (6/13)
Desidia Warded Jar && Rune of Sloth && SCP-1133-6 && Large Anime Girl Plush Doll = Wandworker's Doll (3/13)
Module Action
- - : Generating light level 40.
- - : 0/40,000 EMC. Receiving light level 40. Generating 10,000 EMC per post and transferring 5,000 EMC into , 5,000 EMC into .
- - : 66,000/409,600,000 EMC. Receiving 1,000 EMC per post from . Transferring no EMC.
- - : Condensing nothing. 54,965/1,000,000 EMC. Receiving 5,000 EMC per post from .
- - : Contains 101 Arrows of the Primal and 1 Tracking Rocket Chainsaw. Receiving items from .
- - : Receiving sunlight. Generating 81,920 EU per post. Transferring 81,920 EU per post to .
- - : 980,260/320,000,000 EU. Receiving 81,920 EU per post from . Transferring 106 EU per post to .
- - : Receiving 106 EU per post as power supply from .
- - : Being powered and operated by .
Charges
Project M11-Puzzlehunters (44/50)
Project M12-The Typographer (32/50)
Project M13-ON THE OTHER SIDE (50/50) ⟨HOLDING...⟩
+3 to Crystal
Action
I pull out an ASCII art shotgun from the Weaponcase and open fire on Kardinal Kazoomeister with ASCII zeroes.
+3 Consumerofall
20/50
I sneak attack Richard from behind! And... hug him VERY TIGHTLY.
Aww, are you sad, little cute snoogum wuggums?
The hugging immobilizes him if anything else attacks him.
Check out my bad CTM map reviews here.
SECRET. 50/50 WHEEEEEEE
The Pact 50/50
Wand && Lightning Titan Essence = Titanspark Wand 9/11
Watch && Time Titan Essence = Clocktitan Watch (Level 15: 5/16)
Whip && Space Titan Essence = Warptitan Whip (Level 15: 5/16)
+1 Crys
+2 Ire
22,000/100,000 Lv. 1
Golem: Well, let's do this.
Golem: Let's pick... the Nuclear Throne, Zarod, the Cleric Beast, and Ampersand. For no particular reason.
Golem: Did you know that under Mount Ebott, there lies a vast and sprawling CORE?
Golem: This CORE was created by one W.D. Gaster.
The entities see a vision of a skeleton monster, vaguely similar to Sans.
Golem: However, one day he fell into his own creation...
The entities realize that there is no floor under them, and they fall into an abyss.
Golem: They say he shattered across time and space.
The entities feel themselves being scattered throughout spacetime slowly and painfully.
Golem: Of course, this is all speculation.
Golem: However, it is useful to know about what happens when you mess around with Fun.
Golem: Oh, whoops, was I speaking in Wingdings?
Golem: Eh, whatever. It's rude to talk about someone who's listening.
The entities all reform, looking slightly... off.
Golem: Even worse to paraphrase and bastardize.
The Ampersand, Nuclear Throne, Cleric Beast, and Zarod all gain Inversion.
Golem: Oh hey, my end's done. Let's see what time it is.
The Golem checks their arm. An arm claw materialises on it, and the half circle and triangle on the arm claw turn into a clock momentarily.
Golem: It's dop to Pact o'clock! Wow, what a useful and meaningful way to say that. Not.
Golem: Let's check in on the Scribe's visual...
The Golem looks at the Scribe's computer terminal through Cipher's Call, seeing three full hearts.
Golem: Great. The others look like they're pulling through, too.
Golem: One more turn... I'm filled with... no. Not doing it.
Golem: If I'm going to be frank, Undertale is a pretty decent game. Still, memes are pretty annoying. Not gonna subject you to that.
Cat drawn by me. Accepting requests, depending on a lot of things. DTG Atsume: http://www.imgur.com/a/tij95
1'-[7']-{'3}-'3-'3 '6-11'-7'-6'-7' '1-{'3}-8'-12'-'3-2'
'10-'5-'8-'11 1'-[7']-8'-7'-'3 '2-11'-2'-'9-7'
'10-'5-'3-'3 1'-[7']-'3 '10-8'-{'3}-['10]-4'-7'
'10-{'3}-'3-'3-'6-8'-4' {'3}-11'-2'-'9-7'
Spam restoration: http://www.minecraftforum.net/forums/forums/forum-discussion-info/2195940-posts-threads-deleted-because-of-spam-filter-place
Official DTG Cards Against Humanity suggestion pad: http://piratepad.net/DTGCAH
Ante Up!: 34/50 ================================================== (+1 from Tazz)
The Pact: 46/50 ================================================== (+1 from Tazz)
+3 to mythicZoologist
Bomber shuddered again, feeling the clock tick down further. Anticipation nearly overwhelmed him, yet he kept his calm and collected exterior. He let out a deep sigh, lighting another cigar. Smoke filled the air as Bomber took a brief moment to unwind and prepare for what was to come. "How long has it been?" A brief, cynical smile crept across his face before falling to a neutral expression again. He knew the answer to that rhetorical question, asked to nobody in particular. Everything he had done up to this point was ultimately a failure. Not regarding his company, which would be considered a massive success in many dimensions and planes. It was something else that he had been pursuing for an eternity. Each time, a bitter failure.
"No, not this time..." He mumbled to himself between smokes. "This time, everything will change."
Maroon mists coiled around his right hand. Extending his arm outward, the mists gathered more densely, becoming a definite form. That form began to solidify, shedding the maroon color. It was revealed to be the Grand Warmaster Rocket Hammer, transported from his personal storage of ambiguous size and content. Wielding the large weapon with one hand was probably impossible for some of the mortal races, but it was easily manageable for Bomber.
Taking a wide swing, he struck the Hulk with a powerful blow. Dashing backwards as if he were gliding on air to dodge the Hulk's counter attack, he threw the weapon at the Hulk. It spun through the air rapidly before striking him square in the nose. The weapon bounced off, flipping backwards. Rushing forth, Bomber caught the weapon and immediately used it to attack the Hulk again, bashing him in the head.
While the Hulk was stunned Bomber used this opportunity to jump over the hulk. Pointing the hammer downward while in the air, he was able to catch the Hulk with its front. Flicking a switch, the immense rocket engine roared to life. The weapon was propelled forward, swinging the Hulk high into the air. The Hulk flew straight upward into the sky. Landing on the ground, Bomber looked upwards to watch the mutant, sunning his eyes to exaggerate the fact a little. Predicting where he would land, Bomber raised his arm. A massive spike of brimstone burst from the ground, ready to cushion the Hulk's fall. Yeah right. As expected, the Hulk landed straight on the jagged spire of stone and was impaled through his stomach. Unable to support his own immense weight, he slowly and painfully slid down the spire a few more inches.
Lowering his arm, the spike receded into the cracked earth again. The Hulk fell to the ground, motionless.
Spiked Bindings && Effigy of Lifelinking = Bonds of Mutual Suffering (Level 14: 8/15)
Eye of True Sight && Markerlight = The Oculus (Level 12: 5/13)
Festering Horn && Bottled Perish Song & Star of Chaos = The Doomsday Bell (Level 15: 5/16)
UMVAEQLV SPD DWZQWVAW PXDGE WTTI JDQOX
IKL OJEY BEM VCRVMPB DKGSB XXHGACA
JWJVAWA TQDN GZ UXL XTOX BEMAT FPIOA
The Pact: ================================================== 50/50
(+8 from TFT and jondanger, +5 from Revan, +2 from FBSN, +1 from piano and teag in reserve)
I +3 Bomber.
The Scribe links Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. to the YouTube video History of Japan by bill wurtz, a nine-minute-long epic that tells the entire history of Japan from ancient times to present day in the form of easy-to-understand language and oftentimes psychedelic visuals and audio. The sheer amount of knowledge and trivia in the video brings a tear to Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr.'s eyes. Then he goes over to Kardinal Kazoomeister, taking out a black kazoo. Before Kazoomeister can react, the Scribe has thrown the kazoo at him. It instantly lodges itself inside of Kazoomeister's mouth, sucking out his soul and forcing him to play it if he wants to live. However, the kazoo is cursed so the only song it can play is The Song That Never Ends. If Kazoomeister ever stops playing it, even for a second, he'll feel himself die more and more until nothing is left. After a half an hour, Kazoomeister is a blackened husk.
Action:
Ah, I've said too much as it is.
"Oh right, before I go."
Can't just skip to the last few chapters, what kind of story would that be?
I open another portal, this time beneath Dr Andonuts, attempting to dump him into the mass of molten metal that is the nearest phoenix nest. I add an additional gravity well to ensure he doesn't simply try to levitate himself or some-such manner of evasion.
Entity orders:
See first post.
Main Roleplay Chunk:
"No?"
"Okay then, I'm not sure when or if I'll see any of you again..."
Mythic simply walks into the portal, which collapses behind them.
"Finally, ."
He walks through a dark, straight tunnel, moving towards a light from the far side. Occasionally pitch-black limbs, belonging to no creature, reach from the sides, he evades them with casual ease.
...A short time passes..
A shadowy gateway manifests in the Scribe's vicinity, lasting only long enough for Mythic to step out before it vanishes in much the same way as it appeared.
"So this is where we're making it happen?"
Inventory:
Seeker's Bestiary [Level 10][Equipped]
Heavy Class Commandment [Level 9]
Heavy Monster Edict [Level 9] [Accept Quest?] (>Y/N)
Psionic Hyena Pin (Prototype) [Level 7] [Equipped]
Coffemancy for dummies [Level 5]
Grimoire for the Summoning of Fantastic Beasts [Level 3]
Flying Dragon Hunter Cosplay [Level 3]
Winged Hunter Cosplay [Level 1]
Dragon Hunter Cosplay [Level 1]
Heart Gauge [0 Collected]
Single Use Items: (Used items saved as alchemy codes)
Explosive Gryphon Plush [Level 1] (Used up?)
Plush Phoenix Healing Grenade [Level 4]
Phoenix Extract [Level 4]
Dragon Coffee [Level 2]
Alchemies in Progress:
Memory Crystal: DTG2 && Hourglass = DTG2 Timeglass [Level 5] (4/6)
Charges:
The Pact ========== 51/50 (+3 from Bomber)
Can You Spare... A Heart? ========== 36/50 : Still, I never thought I'd have to have inverted over something like... This.
Siren Song ===== 15/20 : I try calling some sirens for help, but they won't answer their phones. This is why I like working with animals and not people, even if that line seems really blurry at times.
Boosts:
+3 to Irecreeper
People say "There is a city there, and it will stay there until time stops" hearts filled with bleak hope that it be so...
And indeed, it may be, as even the void has not moved it from its rightful place...
Casting their gaze inwards The Tearful Seeker considers their purpose in the coming events...
Tonight, he sets a stage, and come curtain's raise, A Storm Lord join the hunt.
Dragons, please click~
Ante Up!: 35/50 ==================================================
The Pact: 50/50 ================================================== (+3 from Twin)
+3 to mythicZoologist
Zarod uses Strangle on Love! The Cleric Beast will attack the Clockwork Legates of the Broken Church!
Bomber uses the R.N.G. one more time, aiming at the Hulk.
[ ICE | ICE | ICE ]
( On the d8 roll: 6, 5, 6 )
The R.N.G. shudders for a moment while playing a joyous chime. Teal lights flash around the edges of the slot interface. The air around the gun immediately becomes colder by ten degrees and continues to drop rapidly. Frost gathers at the end of the gun's barrel. Suddenly, a literal blizzard blows out of the front of the gun. All other noises are deafened by the raging blizzard, which is concentrated at the Hulk. The onslaught of severe wintry weather proved too much for the Hulk, causing him to take a fair amount of damage. On top of that, he is inflicted with Frostburn, which is essentially a DoT. Lastly, he becomes Frozen, meaning he cannot act unless he takes damage (from a non Frostburn source) in which case he takes a little extra from the attack that targets him since it will shatter the ice. Of course, if that is a little too much for the sake of balance, he is merely Chilled, meaning that every turn there is a chance he will be unable to act. This effect persists for a while as well.
Spiked Bindings && Effigy of Lifelinking = Bonds of Mutual Suffering (Level 14: 7/15)
Eye of True Sight && Markerlight = The Oculus (Level 12: 6/13)
Festering Horn && Bottled Perish Song & Star of Chaos = The Doomsday Bell (Level 15: 6/16)
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