"If only there was a place where you could make outrageous claims, without any proof, and millions of people would accept it as fact..." Stan Smith from American Dad.
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"For I am a sinner in the hands of an angry God. Bloody Mary, full of vodka, blessed are you among cocktails. Pray for me now and at the hour of my death, which I hope is soon. Amen." - Sterling Archer, aka "Duchess", aka "world's most dangerous spy".