That's what happens on a public server- you get to deal with "the public".
I'd suggest she use Realms. She can make her own server easily and invite only the people she wants to. Or there's many "kid safe" Realms already out there that other people have made that she can play on for free (approval required).
Do I know of any? Sorry, no, I don't do multiplayer. Maybe someone else will chime in with one.
There are no family friendly servers your daughters best off just playing with her friends through LAN or just playing single player otherwise she'll have to deal with all the cussing and inappropriate skins. But there are some servers where they censor the cussing so I suggest an official server like Hypixel or LifeBoat. Hope this helped
I did a trial Realm, and then subscribed to a Realm. In one's own Realm, one can limit who is allowed into the Realm. I have several days when the Realm did not function properly, and I do not see that Microsoft/Xbox will add back the equivalent number of days to the subscription. Be sure to find and read, carefully, the purchase agreement, which is hard to find and deeply embedded somewhere! There is no refund if you don't like it. There can be only one World on the Realm at a time. If you get a Realm, I recommend that you manage the set of friends.
There are some very positive aspects, for example:
My grandchildren and some of their friends, can play together, simultaneously.
They can also access the Realm game, independently.
There are fewer interruptions and disconnections in the Realm, compared to invited-friend multiplay.
Sometimes, a message pops up about multiplay not possible due to privacy settings. You will have to find the site, and the exact place at the site, to re-set your privacy settings. This happens sporadically, no matter what your settings were before.
Be aware of game settings for Multiplay, and Who can join in options: Everyone, Friends of Friends, Friends only. Invite. Be aware that the defaults are set for Everyone. This setting is per game, and separate from the Realm.
Be sure that you monitor the Xbox sign in page. The default settings there are such that any unintended click can lead to various unwanted issues. The defaults are not safe for children. So watch that page, scroll completely through it, be sure you understand it, and go back to it often. It will have listings of suggested friends (very risky), invited friends, friends who have accepted a friendship invitation.
Watching the sign-in page is essential, whether you have a Realm, or not.