I think I've answered this thread 3 or 4 tines as it keeps getting revived. I was the oldest in the forum when I answered first time and may still be, I was then 73. I'll be 76 next month and still play most every day.
Just upgraded to 1.14.4 a few months ago, and getting used to all that's new to me. I generally play single player worlds, but am also on a multiplayer server with friends, often joined by my son and teenage granddaughter.
We have an older set of players on our server. I have a few data-packs I'd be happy to share geared toward a group of friends playing, although most of what we use is from Vanilla Tweaks. In addition to that we have Glowing Players which let us see one another at all times. This helps us do things together. I also have Roads which grant a speed boost on all default village roads (grass path, sandstone pavers) and on player designed roads. We avoid using TP, and are trying to keep it, "Vanilla without so much pain." If these could be used on another server, I would be happy to share them.
Since you said, Switch, you can only connect to Bedrock Realms servers or one of the publicly listed servers. That is "hard coded" into the game with no work-arounds for the Switch. If you have a PC, you have more options. This is just so you know what you should be looking for.
If none of the servers in the server list are to your liking, your focus will have to be to join a Bedrock server on Realms. Our server is in Java at this time, so it would be unplayable to you. There are message threads for servers advertising themselves, including realms.
https://www.minecraftforum.net/forums/minecraft/multiplayer is your best bet. This message thread is more for older people "just talking in general, but not about anything server specific." What you posted is ok, but I don't think the mods will let it go far along the "looking for server" line. Good luck to you, and yes, you are VERY welcome to post in general about your perspective not being a 12-22yo player.