Mojang has something of an amusing habit of doing elaborate April Fools day pranks- this year's was a little underwhelming, if only because of the combo of working on the Caves and Cliffs update, and setting really high standards for themselves last year. This is one idea I had more as a fun thought experiment than something to be taken seriously- an idea for the next April Fools day prank with a pretty open ended premise: An 'update' that adds a ridiculous amount of comical bugs to the game.
Now, just to be clear, this would only effect worlds made during the update. Mojang could release the April Fools day update under the guise of a small patch, and could then come out with a list of the 'bugfixes' the following day, apologizing for some... 'slight' oversights with the previous snapshot.
Again, this is really just for fun! If you have any horrible bug ideas of your own, please include them in the comments!
The idea is that the changelog would initially appear relatively normal, acting as a guide for players to explore some of the more bizarre changes. Similarly, the game would appear normal at first, but would increasingly become stranger and stranger as time went on.
I've presented some of the genuinely awful ideas I've had in the form of a changelog, with the description in normal text, and the actual implications in italics.
Minor tweaks to terrain generation. Fixed some issues with terrain generating properly. This may cause some slight issues with new worlds, but they shouldn't be especially noticeable. (The frequency of Ravines has been multiplied by ten. Terrain has a chance of generating in bizarre shapes- including giant creeper faces. Chunks have a chance of being missing entirely. Some biomes have a chance of generating with one or more types of blocks being replaced with a randomly selected block type. Random plateaus and chunk borders can generate, along with other examples of hopelessly broken terrain further from spawn.)
Slight changes to Loot Tables. Made some minor tweaks to make loot tables more balanced. (All loot tables are changed to randomly replace blocks generated inside with dirt, tools and armor with wooden/leather variants, and items with rotten flesh.)
Rebalancing towards Village Loot. Rebalanced village loot to be less overpowered early in the game. (Some village chests are replaced with trapped chests rigged with excessive amounts of TNT.)
Optimized Sound Effects System. Slightly improved sound effect capacity to make SFX more effective. May cause some slight issues, as the new system is still in its early stages! (As the game progresses, sound effects can be replaced with completely randomly selected sounds. All noteblock noises have been replaced with explosions. Creepers now make random animal noises before detonating, food eating noises are extremely prolonged, cats are constantly making noise, creeper noises can occur at random for no reason, all animal noises are mixed up- (Pigs make cow noises, cows make pig noises, etc.)
Minor improvements to Rabbit & Parrot AI. Players likely won't notice these changes, but the AI for these has been slightly tweaked to improve pathfinding. (All rabbits are now incredibly hostile to any living creatures, and spawn more frequently- their AI is replaced with the unused Killer Rabbit AI. Parrots now attempt to dive bomb players, dealing high knockback.)
Improved Narration/Subtitles. We've revisted the Subtitles system to be more accessible and more helpful. (Subtitles and narration now provide unhelpful advice, needlessly personal comments, questions as to your capabilities as a player, give false warnings, seem to find said false warnings amusing, and other unpleasantries.)
Fixed Beds not working in the Overworld. Fixed a small issue where beds were not functioning as intended in the Overworld. (Beds now explode in the Overworld when one attempts to use them.)
Tweaked Wandering Trader Trades. Readjusted wandering trader trades to be more balanced. (All wandering trader prices are tripled. Failure to purchase anything causes the trader and their llamas to attack you w/potions.)
Fixed Foodstuffs not behaving Properly. Fixed some minor bugs that caused food not to function properly- players can rest assured that foodstuffs will now work as intended. (All food items now quickly turn into rotten food if not consumed shortly after being crafted, and give random negative potion effects when eaten.)
Minor Tweaks to Stonecutter GUI. Added some small changes to make the Stonecutter interface more intuitive. (Literally any block can now be turned into slabs and stairs, resulting in some especially bizarre blocks available. Now, you can build that Dynamite house properly, just like you always wanted!)
Tweaked Critical Hit Chance. Fixed a rare issue where critical hits were not working as intended. (Attacks can randomly do a ridiculous amount of Knockback, light everything nearby on fire, summon lightning, etc.)
Minor Bugfixes for Mob Spawnrates. Did some minor balancing towards the mobspawning algorithm. This may cause some small issues, but should provide some much needed improvements. (Mob spawning no longer works properly, and becomes increasingly broken the longer the game goes on, with mobs spawning in the wrong biome or dimensions, in ridiculously large or strangely colored groups, etc. Think herds of rainbow sheep, fish out of water, ghasts in the Overworld, etc.)
Fixed Daylight cycle Bug. Removed a rare bug that would cause minor discrepancies in the Daylight Cycle. (Day and Night length are now determined at random, ranging from days less than two minutes to nights that go on for ages.
Fixed Skybox not generating correctly. Removed a rare bug that caused the Sky to briefly stop working. This may cause some slight issues while we work out how to get the sky working properly again, as we're not exactly sure what we did to it. It's probably fine. (The Sky now has a chance of randomly flashing the wrong colors, which increases over time.)
Fixed Minor GUI Bugs. Made some minor changes to the inventory UI. (Now this would be incredibly annoying. The Inventory now has some slight discrepancies- items can move places ever so slightly, can lose small amounts of a stack, you can occasionally obtain the wrong thing when picking up the item, stacks of blocks can randomly change to similarly colored blocks, and other annoying issues. Any object can now be used as fuel for furnaces/smelters/smokers, )
Fixed Issue where using the iron hoe would result in an Anti-Piracy measure that crashed the game and started deleting files on your computer. The name really says it all. (I mean, I'd be relieved if this bug was finally fixed.)
Reimplemented Correct Pathfinding for Squid. It turns out all that was needed to fixt eh Squid AI was adding back the original pathfinding. We're relatively sure this won't cause any issues, but as always, this is an experimental feature. (Squids are once again capable of flight. Because... why not?)
Slightly adjusted End DragonBehavior. The End Dragon's AI has been slightly adjusted to work more smoothly. (The End Dragon now has ten times more health than usual, rains Endermites down on the player, shoots projectiles in all directions, and is generally ridiculously difficult.)
Slight Changes to Structure Generation. Made some minor changes to the structure generation system to prevent faulty generation. We're still adjusting this, so bear with us in the meantime! (Structures can now generate with random blocks, several structures can generate on top of each other, around each other, or in the same place, etc. These anomalies become more common further from spawn.)
Minor Changes to Weather Frequency. Weather frequency has been slightly tweaked to provide a more immersive gameplay element. (Weather now occurs more frequently, and can consist of Anvil Rain, intense snowstorms that cause huge accumulations of snow, and other bizarre events.)
Reintroduced Unused parts of Soundtrack. We've added some of the previously unimplemented pieces of the soundtrack! While many players may not know about these pieces, they were always intended to be a part of the game, but never actually added. We have had reports of some minor issues with consistency, but these issues should be fairly uncommon. (Music has become broken- the music discs have all been mixed up, and the soundtrack can randomly be interjected with opera music, bangoes, or kazoo solos.)
Reimplemented Locked Chests! This previously considered feature has been added back in this snapshot! Players can craft an iron key using an iron ingot and nugget, which can be used to lock chests or shulker boxes, preventing other players from accessing them! This feature is still in development, and we encourage you to try it out in order to protect your valuables! (Players can now craft an iron key that can be used to lock chests. However, doing so makes it completely impossible to unlock the chest, causing players to lose any items stored inside. In fact, the chests are almost incapable of being destroyed, and cannot be exploded, break any tools used on them, etc.)
Water Bucket Bugfix. Fixed a rare error that prevented water buckets from working properly. (Water buckets now have a small chance of producing lava when used. They can also be used to capture any mob whatsoever, including the Ender Dragon, Wither Skeleton, villagers, etc.)
Implemented Automatic Bug Removal System. We're experimenting with a new system in this snapshot to automatically remove dangerous bugs from the game- this is a relatively new idea, but the system has been tested extensively, and has proven to be incredibly effective at eliminating bugs. (Whenever the player gets near a bee, spider, silverfish, or other arthropod, the chat informs them that a Bug has been detected, and the arthropod explodes with the force of a charged creeper.)
Slight Mining Adjustments. Fixed some minor bugs relating to certain blocks not mining properly. (Bedrock can now be mined, but becomes unmineable when placed.)
Minor Improvements to Command Interface. We've added some slight changes to the command system to make using commands more intuitive. (The Command system is hopelessly broken, and commands cause random events to happen. A fill command somehow winds up generating a horde of multicolored creepers. A summoning command causes all nearby flowers to explode. The results of any commands would be generated utterly at random, with a variety of different and equally bizarre scenarios sure to infuriate command savvy players.)
Tweaks to Enchantment System Enchantments and Curses have been rebalanced to make the enchanting table slightly easier to use. (Some of the new enchantments added include an armor enchantment that causes nearby entities to detonate, 'Volatility;' an armor Enchantment that causes any block you touch to turn to dirt, 'Earthwalker;' a weapon enchantment 'Kindness' that heals hostile entities you attack; a 'Bane of Everything' Enchantment that causes all entities to become hostile towards you; a 'Laser' enchantment for the Bow that causes all arrows to become ridiculously overpowered projectiles that have insane knockback) (Changes have also been made to all the other enchantments. Fire Aspect now sets everything you touch on fire, Featherfalling now makes you fall excruciatingly slowly, Aqua Affinity makes you suffocate out of water, Looting turns anything you touch or hold into golden variants, etc.)
Changes to Difficulty Settings The difficulty levels have been altered slightly to provide a more personalized game play experience- these changes are relatively minor, and shouldn't be readily apparent to players, but should provide some subtle improvements to different difficulty levels. (It is now literally impossible to die in peaceful/easy mode, with the game automatically saving you from various near death scenarios. All ore blocks have been replaced with solid mineral blocks, the player always spawnsin a village directly above a stronghold with an easily accessible tunnel downwards. Other tweaks include all trees dropping golden apples, and various other ridiculously overpowered mechanics designed to be as condescending as possible.) (In higher difficulty settings, mobs now spawn far more frequently, all entities are replaced with explosive creeper variants, several essential materials are lacking, and things are generally ridiculously and needlessly hard.
[Edit] Minor Tweaks to some Redstone Components Made some minor tweaks to make the use of some redstone components more intuitive. (Blocks like observers, dispensers, pistons, and other blocks where direction is important aare now randomly rotated when placed. Redstone repeaters now have a randomized level of delay. Pistons will now continue extending if they continue to receive redstone power up to several hundred blocks. Any other ideas to drive redstone builders insane?)
[Edit] Minor Changes to Torches. Lighting has been slightly adjusted on torches to fix minor bugs with rendering. (Torches now go out after awhile. It's alarming to consider that this was once actually a feature. Torches that go out cannot be relit, and are thus utterly useless.)
[Edit] Minor Changes to Durability. Made some small adjustments to durability stats to deal with durability problems. (Elytra now break randomly, (I mean, more randomly than usual), Wooden tools have incredibly high durability, and Netherite/diamond tools break very quickly.Tools can now realistically break without warning, even when at any durability level.)
[Edit] Slightly Improved Illager AI ~ The Pathfinding and spawn mechanics of Illagers have been slightly tweaked to be fairer and more intuitive. (Illager attacks now become progressively worse if you tick off the Illagers- they bring successively stronger enemies to attack you, which can amount in ridiculously overpowered raids if you kill too many of them. The Illagers will now try and steal your stuff, put Illager banners everywhere, etc. In stronger raids, they lay dynamite, dump lava on things, set fire to your home, etc.)
[Edit] Slight Changes to Slime Mechanics ~ Slime block mechanics have been changed slightly to make them easier to use. (The amount of blocks slimeblocks can now stick to is more or less completely unlimited, with extremely broken results. Bouncing on slime blocks randomly stops working, or does the opposite, launching players to ridiculous heights upon landing.)
[Edit] Removed Block of Eternal Screaming It was high time we got around to doing this. (Blocks of eternal screaming are more or less exactly what the name implies. They're found randomly when mining or exploring, and serve no use whatsoever. Instead, whenever a player is nearby, they start screaming in an excruciatingly loud and obnoxious tone of voice. Of course, thanks to the stonecutter bug, you can now make Chiseled Blocks of Eternal Screaming, Stairs of Eternal Screaming, Slabs of Eternal Screaming, etc.
[Edit] Slight Changes to Minecart Speed. Minecarts have been balanced out with some minor changes to speed and acceleration. (This likely won't be noticeable, but should be useful for optimization.) (Minecarts now randomly go ten times as fast, set blocks behind them on fire, and can cause death and explosions if the player runs into anything while riding the Minecart; OR move excruciatingly slowly, with no foreseeable cohesiveness.)
Removed Herobrine (A mysterious and unsettling figure can frequently be seen in the distance...) ----
I would love to hear some of your ideas! Share your best worst ideas, and feel free to make them as obnoxious, ridiculious, or outright bad as possible. We're not judgmental. Make them genuinely awful.
I'd like to see some more serious and enjoyable April Fools update, like Infinity Update.
Maybe it should be reverting Minecraft to the Beta stage, presenting new things in old nostalgic light.
Minecraft Gamma Edition?