So I was on this server, and I made this big underground castle of sorts, when this donator-rank x-raying Protection 4 diamond armor kid with Nodus breaks in and kills me in 2 hits, then tries griefing my base with lava. He then traps himself in his own lava and burns to death. He goes ape and starts spamming in all-caps, and an admin comes in and bans him.
Greatest. Moment. Ever.
"You shouldn't listen to anything above this line. It is lies and hearsay, I tell you." -Your signature.
Noob comes on.
<Noob> hai gys im frm plant miencraft can i haz op?
<Me> No.
<Noob> but im also notches bro and he will ban ur server if u dont give it to me
<Me> Proof or it didn't happen.
<Noob> ur gonna get in trubble!!111!! im gving u une out uf hundrd!!11!!!
<Me> Fine, then you can have OP if you link me to your page.
<Noob> no no u cant im nt allowd to shw u
<Me> Fine, no OP for you.
*Noob has left the server.
Jokes, like everything on this planet, are subject to different tastes and opinions of humor. a lot of jokes fall under a retarded social stigma of what can and cannot be funny based on a determined age group you fall under.
Sorry, kinda... Hit a nerve? Humor is Humor and like a lot of things rests solely on the person tastes. Maturity has nothing to do with it.
Idiot: guys how do I go up?
Me: What do mean?
Idiot: like how do I go up hills and things?
Me: Tried jumping?
Idiot: how do you jump?
Me: Spacebar
Mate: LOL
Idiot: It doesn't work
Me: ...
Me: I assure you it does
Idiot: i don't understand
Mate: shall I tp him over?
*Teleports him over*
Idiot: cool
Idiot: thanks!!!
Idiot: are we like friends now?
Me: Sure
Mate: sure...
*mate punchs him into a creeper hole IIRC*
Idiot: can you do that thing to get me out again?
Mate: use spacebar.
Mate: you don't need me to do it
*the idiot just stands there in the hole*
Idiot: spacebar
Idiot: spacebar
Idiot: ?
*by now I'm almost rofling*
Me: lol
Mate: OMG LOL!!!!!
Mate: press the spacebar key
Idiot: spacebar key?
*assorted laughter as #is this for real#*
*idiot finds spacebar key on his own and learns to jump*
Me: First time playing a computer game?
Idiot: no
Idiot: playing minecraft for a month
Me: 0.o
Mate 2: WHAT THE?
*idiot is still stuck in a hole*
Idiot: ?
Mate: so you've been playing mincraft for a month without knowing how to jump?
Idiot: i didn't know it was that kind of game
Idiot: it is all blocks
Idiot: like tetris
*at this point I think he is really taking the , having calmed down a little, my mate puts down some wooden stair blocks and the idiot gets out the hole IIRC*
Mate: here you go
Idiot: thanks
Mate 2: is this dude fo' real
*a good deal of time passes where we watch the idiot and build a house amonst ourselves when...*
Idiot: how do you mine wood?
At which point we directed him to the minecraft wiki, never seen him since, can't tell if he was trolling, or just plain..well...If you are reading this, I hope you've learnt a lot more since then.
*levels four Jungle Temples to the ground for the mossy cobble*
*builds a massive base over a lake* (that's about 12 stacks of mossy per temple, or thereabouts)
*enters nether to quickly get netherrack*
*digs a stairwell down and to the side from portal for a starting room
*digs a few blocks directly overhead and above, widening the ceiling of his 1-block wide staircase, lava pours in*
*pinned in dead end, digs away like madman only to hit lava ocean*
*Unarmored burn in hardcore mode*
I'm a damned genius! that beautiful base, gone... all those hours of work leveling the temples to the ground, gone...
Nodus user was Griefing my base killing all my friends who had iron armor with his fists. I take a bow and shoot him while he's stuck in a hole. He had a home set at our house so I reclaimed it and fixed the wall and he began to run. I followed him until I saw his base. He had a moat by his base that was like:
DAD
DWD
DDD
He fell in and for some reason set his spawn there. I killed him repeatedly until he logged and I unclaimed all his base and blew it up.
He came back online later and tried to kill me. I just stated at him while he broke my protected window repeatedly trying to get in.
Player: Rose Can I help you? Can You add me?
Me: ummm...No not now, maybe later
Player: Please!!!!!! (Sends me an add request)
Me: No sorry (I move away and the moron follows me all over my build)
Player: Add me Add Me Add Me Rose!!!!!
No: I said no, (I'm trying to be very polite)
I told them no like one more time and after a few other users tried to do the same cause could see me telling him/her no in the chat. the user went to the build across from me and and started accusing me of griefing. That user got banned rather quickly! This was server I had donated, why would I grief on a server that I donated to.
Me:you know if you throw an enderperal into lava the pool drains and you are showered with ores
Noobington:Really?
Me:Yes, try it *hands over enderperal*
Noobington: Ok, if you insist *dboutingly throws peral into lava*
Noobington went up in flames
*5 minutes of rage later*
Me:Calm down, you only had a stone pick some coal, torhes and wood
Idiots who refuse to read or spell simple words or have that god awful emo hoodie always turn out to be horrible players and pathetic morons that usually get banned and those with awful names.
Something that really hustles my timmy turners is people who offer to pay for mod. Like those 11 year olds that are used to pay2win servers and think moderatorship is something that is bought. Like wow.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
If you want me to reply again, quote my post so I'll get a notification!
other user-how do you you get dirt?
me-dig it up...
other user-how?
me-don't you even know how to dig up dirt... it's the most simplest thing to do in minecraft
other user-what is minecraft?
me-(killed him with a sword!)
other user-how do you you get dirt?
me-dig it up...
other user-how?
me-don't you even know how to dig up dirt... it's the most simplest thing to do in minecraft
other user-what is minecraft?
me-(killed him with a sword!)
"You shouldn't listen to anything above this line. It is lies and hearsay, I tell you." -Your signature.
My fan fiction of the game: http://www.minecraftforum.net/topic/1957118-programmer-my-first-fan-fiction/#entry24096758
<Noob> hai gys im frm plant miencraft can i haz op?
<Me> No.
<Noob> but im also notches bro and he will ban ur server if u dont give it to me
<Me> Proof or it didn't happen.
<Noob> ur gonna get in trubble!!111!! im gving u une out uf hundrd!!11!!!
<Me> Fine, then you can have OP if you link me to your page.
<Noob> no no u cant im nt allowd to shw u
<Me> Fine, no OP for you.
*Noob has left the server.
I was at the enderfarm... *flashback*
<Me>: I wonder if beds explode in the End like they do in the Nether?
<Random Person>: Try it and see
<Me>: Ok
Dudebox64 blew up
R.I.P Enderfarm
Seriously. Wow.
This was a pretty stupid guy xD
I don't think you got the joke. Too young perhaps?
Not immature perhaps?
Sorry, kinda... Hit a nerve? Humor is Humor and like a lot of things rests solely on the person tastes. Maturity has nothing to do with it.
Me: What do mean?
Idiot: like how do I go up hills and things?
Me: Tried jumping?
Idiot: how do you jump?
Me: Spacebar
Mate: LOL
Idiot: It doesn't work
Me: ...
Me: I assure you it does
Idiot: i don't understand
Mate: shall I tp him over?
*Teleports him over*
Idiot: cool
Idiot: thanks!!!
Idiot: are we like friends now?
Me: Sure
Mate: sure...
*mate punchs him into a creeper hole IIRC*
Idiot: can you do that thing to get me out again?
Mate: use spacebar.
Mate: you don't need me to do it
*the idiot just stands there in the hole*
Idiot: spacebar
Idiot: spacebar
Idiot: ?
*by now I'm almost rofling*
Me: lol
Mate: OMG LOL!!!!!
Mate: press the spacebar key
Idiot: spacebar key?
*assorted laughter as #is this for real#*
*idiot finds spacebar key on his own and learns to jump*
Me: First time playing a computer game?
Idiot: no
Idiot: playing minecraft for a month
Me: 0.o
Mate 2: WHAT THE?
*idiot is still stuck in a hole*
Idiot: ?
Mate: so you've been playing mincraft for a month without knowing how to jump?
Idiot: i didn't know it was that kind of game
Idiot: it is all blocks
Idiot: like tetris
*at this point I think he is really taking the , having calmed down a little, my mate puts down some wooden stair blocks and the idiot gets out the hole IIRC*
Mate: here you go
Idiot: thanks
Mate 2: is this dude fo' real
*a good deal of time passes where we watch the idiot and build a house amonst ourselves when...*
Idiot: how do you mine wood?
At which point we directed him to the minecraft wiki, never seen him since, can't tell if he was trolling, or just plain..well...If you are reading this, I hope you've learnt a lot more since then.
*builds a massive base over a lake* (that's about 12 stacks of mossy per temple, or thereabouts)
*enters nether to quickly get netherrack*
*digs a stairwell down and to the side from portal for a starting room
*digs a few blocks directly overhead and above, widening the ceiling of his 1-block wide staircase, lava pours in*
*pinned in dead end, digs away like madman only to hit lava ocean*
*Unarmored burn in hardcore mode*
I'm a damned genius!
DAD
DWD
DDD
He fell in and for some reason set his spawn there. I killed him repeatedly until he logged and I unclaimed all his base and blew it up.
He came back online later and tried to kill me. I just stated at him while he broke my protected window repeatedly trying to get in.
Me: ummm...No not now, maybe later
Player: Please!!!!!! (Sends me an add request)
Me: No sorry (I move away and the moron follows me all over my build)
Player: Add me Add Me Add Me Rose!!!!!
No: I said no, (I'm trying to be very polite)
I told them no like one more time and after a few other users tried to do the same cause could see me telling him/her no in the chat. the user went to the build across from me and and started accusing me of griefing. That user got banned rather quickly! This was server I had donated, why would I grief on a server that I donated to.
Noobington:Really?
Me:Yes, try it *hands over enderperal*
Noobington: Ok, if you insist *dboutingly throws peral into lava*
Noobington went up in flames
*5 minutes of rage later*
Me:Calm down, you only had a stone pick some coal, torhes and wood
I know. I hate those skins.
God dammit, Nappa
me-dig it up...
other user-how?
me-don't you even know how to dig up dirt... it's the most simplest thing to do in minecraft
other user-what is minecraft?
me-(killed him with a sword!)
Probably a troll.