Bottom line is this. He is playing a game online with people he doesn't know, and the internet provides a shield for these people to act however they please. If he is already socially awkward and your guidence isn't enough, then allowing him on the net is one of the worst things you could possibly do.
I am not kidding here. If he takes every little insult to heart in real life, then he will be devestated if he continues to play online games that aren't being monitored by you CONSTANTLY and preferably with people he does know (family, friends). Let him play online games when he finally comes to terms with how to react to those situations. Too many kids online are becoming twisted due to their parents never paying attention, as proof of all of these 'online bullies' you speak of. These bullies usually aren't the "cool" kids. They are/were the same as your son and were never given any guidence or punished for their actions by their parents.
What I am trying to say is, if you can't convince him that their insults mean nothing, then he should not be left to play these games. Take him to social events where he can meet people face to face and gradually develope some social skills. To me it seems like you are trying to teach him social skills by playing online. That has to be the worst course of action imaginable.
You are right - guidance is needed. BUT if a kiddo gets upset because of such an incident, it doesn't mean that he is "weird" or something. It is a normal reaction, to get upset if someone bullies you - don't you think?
AND on the other hand - no one wants our kids be educated by internet. But there is no escape from this unfortunately. Talking to the kid will help, I know, but more importantly, maybe some of those bullies will read this threat and - hopefully - remember something that has been written here?
Was not implying that a kid would be weird for feeling insulted, but the point was that if he is taking to heart, then spending time on the internet probably isn't the best thing to be doing.
I also disagree with you about there not being an escape from being exposed/educated by the internet. Not to sound cliche, but you simply do not let your child on the net and problem is solved. Could he end up going to a friend's house and surf the web anyway? Sure, but you could say the same about anything in life. No one is perfect, and no method is perfect, but you monitor your kids as much as possible and make decisions accordingly on what to restrict, and what to allow. Not every kid will be the same maturity-wise.
Also, I think the last 15 years has proven that things will only continue to get worse, regardless of what threats they happen to catch wind of. The reality of the situation is this. Mojang is a business, and more on topic, xbox live (microsoft) is a business. If they ban a rather large chunk of people because they are **** wads, then they lose a huge amount of money. Tbh, I don't blame them for being a bit leniant when it comes to people acting up, even if I do feel more people need to be punished, because that is life, they need to make a buck.
With all of that said, it all boils down to realizing that things will not change, and that you have to make decisions accordingly as a parent. It is easy enough to make a huge rant on a forum about why making the easy/lazy choice of sitting your son in front of a screen should be a viable option of developing character, but that isn't how it works for some (dare I say most) children.
this has probaly been said before but i hope this hasnt put him off the game. he'll find another server that he will be welcomed on and i can see him being a great builder sort of a "hah! in your face" to the ones who kicked him.
i'd give a few server ideas out but i play on 18+ servers on the pc.
i say give him some milk a packet of cookies and a hug and get him to try looking for other servers
not much help i know
Thanks for your input...and no, he seems to determined to persevere...which I'm glad about. Should he continue to experience issues though, we'll take steps accordingly. I've talked to him at some length about the responses I've received here, and they have really encouraged him. Additionally, we will be exploring the PC version some more, to get involved with the family-friendly servers that have been suggested here.
As an aside, alas, the liltle bugger won't drink milk ...the cookies on the other hand will go down no problem ....
Well they ARE the admins, and it is THEIR server, so if they don't want him to play, he can't play. This is not an act of bullying, it's like saying your bro found a million dollars and you ask to split it, what do you think he would say? After all it is HIS million dollars. Please don't take this as a harsh reply, I'm just defending that this is not a case of bullying.
Hi,
If he had been playing in a game where there was a server (that is, on the PC version), I might be inclined to agree with you. But this was just a bunch of his 12 year old classmates playing together on the Xbox version, where no adminstrators/servers were involved. Also, I'm not quite sure how your brother-with-million-dollars reference applies to this situation....
If you'd read on, these weren't random people on the internet that happened to own the server he was on, they were people he knew, so given the circumstances it's, not really bullying, as that would require the "friends" to do it on a regular basis, but it is a bit mean of them. It's not just your bog standard idiotic internet trolling.
And as to your scenario, it's more like if the friend promised to share a million pounds if he found it, then finding it and not sharing it. As by letting him on the server, it's kinda promising to let him use it, then kicking him is kinda like not sharing it after promising.
Thanks for qualifying the situation, on a number of counts ....
Still, I guess being "a bit mean" vs. "bullying" can be debated and two times was enough for me to put it into the latter category. As I had mentioned in my original post, I was frustrated that the kicking out mechanism was available for abuse, but since I now understand that it's a necessary function in certain situations, the problem lies with the kids doing the abusing, not the system. Finding the right players is going to be the key here...
Forgive me in advance if I say something dumb, lol.
I am a new player. I just started a couple of days ago, and I haven't tried the multiplayer option yet, so I'm not quite sure of the mechanics of that playing mode.
It looks like a player creates an instanced world for a specific group of players to play on.
If this works in any way like MMO parties/groups; it would make sense that the person who holds the leader title has the power to add or remove players from the instance. This is a *good* thing, because the leader needs to have the power to remove a member that may be detrimental to the group. Kind of like "My house, my rules. Play nice or get out." If the leader can't remove a player from the instance, it leaves the entire group vunerable to players that cause grief.
Are you saying that *any* player on any given server has the power to remove other players? This seems like a really bad mechanic.
My son just told me that only Admin and Hosts can remove other players. Maybe the host of that server just gives Admin powers to everyone?
My suggestion would be for him to find a Clan (is that the right term in this game?) with established leadership and a good reputation for helping new players. They should be able to help him find a good server fit, and get started with making friends and learning good game ettiquette.
Hi,
Your comments aren't "dumb" at all...and I appreciate you taking the time and interest to do so.
The problem lies in these kids being able to kick other kids out for no "legitimate" reason. If he had been causing problems in some shape or form, then I understand why he would need to be removed from the game...but sadly, the impression was that he wasn't one of the "cool" kids, and so he wasn't allowed to stay.
Having said that, your suggestion to find good kids to play with is definitely the way to go. We've been given some good suggestions for family-friendly servers on the PC version, and will for sure be checking them out.
It was said before - the act itself is not a problem. The attitude of players/Admins is.
Just kids, I know. But it shows something more. If the people don't see that, then I know we have a problem.
Just a thought - I'm stretching it, I know - but if young people are rude and aggressive and abusive as young kids just playing MC - and they are - why are we surprised that they pull out a gun and shoot strangers in a school or cinema?
I suppose I understand your point about "kids today", but yes, I think that's a bit of a stretch ...
I feel you man, from my experiences on Xbox live, no one is really nice. It is possible for people to kick you from games, i'm not sure about banning, but disabling people from joining is an option. Some people are even capable of shutting down you're internet. Just keep your son away from people who are like that, have him play with people in his same age group. Use privacy controls so your son can have the best gaming experience.
Good luck,
Jorgon
Thanks Jorgon (though I'm the Mom, not the "man" )....
Maybe because he was too young, so they kicked him out.
He probably doesn't even know the people he's playing with in real life.
Actually, as I've mentioned more than a few times, the kids are all the same age (12), and they are all and ONLY his fellow classmates. Not only does he know them in real life, but so do I.
You stretched it too far. The people that you are mentioning had mental health issues. You can't blame video games on something like that. Also, if the US had stricter laws on gun ownership like here in Canada, then those things have a much lower chance of happening.
I think the whole gun debate is better left to another forum. Having said that, it was brought up here, so I tend to agree with you Tml...
This seems like more of a personal problem then something to post on an internet forum. It's not our problem that some kid is a jerk off to your son. That's life for you.
I don't really understand what you want to the message to be when you are removed from the game. It's the responsibility of the game host to regulate the players. Being kicked from the game is the generic message sent when you are removed from the play session. It's the same for if someone is abusing the game, or if someone is just removed.
Your son sounds as if he needs to find some new friends, it's not the games fault that they're ass hats. The fact that they don't want him there is again, a personal problem and not the fault of the game. I'm not sure what you expect to get out of making a post about it on an internet forum.
My point was simple: I had an issue with circumstances surrounding the game, and so I posted it on an internet forum dedicated to the game, in the hopes of getting some advice/direction/suggestions about it. In that regard, I've been very happy with the responses. I've learned quite a bit about the system....and still think it's a shame that there is a necessary system (I have since learned) which is capable of abuse. However, as you mention, it's the kids who are abusing it, so the trick will be learning to find the right ones to play with. I have been given quite a few ideas about family-friendly servers and the like, so I would not trade this experience for fear of someone questioning my right to do so.
im 12 also and i play on the PC so i dont know much about how the Xbox works. i play multiplayer but n one knows anything about me, for i dont share my real age or my voice. if he was playing on a server (i dont know how xbox works) type of thing he should find another one or he can complain to higer staff about those who kicked him. also, he shouldnt be that traumatized by geting kicked, some admins just kick for stuff like typing in all capitals. he can always join again. it just takes a minute, unless he was banned, thats a different story. i suggest
dont use the mic, older players can be annoyed by voice
dont play on bad servers/parties
dont be so traumatized by getting kicked,it could be a mistake or just a warning for breaking a minor rule.
i am scared about humanity. what will happen to this species. this is considered a problem ! i cant belive parents actually have time to worry about this kind of stuff. i live in whats considered a third world country and our problems are : electricity loadshedding, gas load shedding. robberies, more really bad stuff
my family is comsidered rich compared to others and the only reason i can afford a dual core pc to play mc and type this is because my parents work 24/7 and we rarely meet for more than an hour
welcome to real life
Hi there,
I agree, given your circumstances, that perhaps it is a luxury for me to be concerned about my son's experience. However and sadly, your situation doesn't make his situation any easier per se...and as a mother, it's both my right and privelege to take an interest in his welfare. As you've noted, that's a parent's job.
That aside, and more specifically, he was not involved in a server situation...and he was not kicked for a minor infraction or as a warning. That was my point to begin with.
Finally, I wish you well...and kudos to your parents for doing what they can to afford you such opportunities.
I know, but I did that on purpose. I never blame video games for mental issues of those psychos, but some aggressive habits do develop very early.
Nobody said that was game's fault. I hope this threat might, just might show some players playing MC or any other games on servers, to respect people playing around.
Gosh, that would be nice to think that this thread might make someone think twice about being respectful...but I suspect those who are guilty of bullying and the like would not be inclined to read this thread, as it might strike too close to home ...
There's a problem with the kids he's playing with then, and whoever runs the server. Blaming Minecraft or Mojang is like blaming the playground or the construction workers who built it, instead of who is in charge of the playground or the bullies that play on it.
Technically though, it is their server, and he can only play on it because they allow him to. Sure it may be mean to kick him for no particular legitimate reason (Why let him play in the first place and invest his time on it?), but some people are mean. That's life.
Also, like it or not, "kicked out" is just the vernacular for "involuntarily removed," and is used more or less universally by English speakers, so it only makes sense that Mojang would also use this same language.
Keep in mind that there are also plenty of good reasons to kick people off of servers.
I kicked a 5 year old once because she had been left to "look" at someone else's constructions on my server by one of the other regular players. Well, she did more than just look, and was unknowingly damaging a lot of hard work. She figured out how to log back into the game too, but fortunately we were able to contact the player who had left her there by then.
Maybe you could find a good server to play on and play on it with your son, or start and run your own if you can't find one.
Hey there,
As I've mentioned, he wasn't involved with a server, he was playing only with fellow 12 year old classmates (whom we both know), and he wasn't doing anything wrong...
Having said that, he's already learning...with the help of some of these comments...to better navigate the Xbox version (which doesn't involve servers)...and he is also exploring both the servers suggested for the PC and perhaps starting one of his own.
i understand what your talking about,but a kick/ban feature is needed in my opinion,for unruly or disruptive players that don't further the enjoyment of the game for others,i'm not implying your son was one at all,but it's a needed feature,that can be misused,as in this case,sorry
No need to apologize, though I do appreciate both your input and concern. Yes, I have learned the kick option is a "necessary evil", but I've also been given some great advice about how to contend with it, so it's all good (well, mostly )....
Woah, I highly doubt some bullying would really lead kids to pull out a gun and murder innocent people. o__o That's not just a stretch, that's a huuuge stretch, lol.
Actually, there is some correlation between bullying and some of these heinous crimes, but as I've mentioned, I think this conversation is better left for another venue.
Yeah, that kind of behavior is very rare (though still too frequent), while the number of kids that play multiplayer video games and show poor etiquette in varying degrees while doing so is vastly higher (maybe even the majority of kids that play multiplayer video games). The latter might be a contributing factor to the former under certain circumstances, but not a significant nor main cause, in my opinion.
A few other things are much more relevant factors, like being driven, very crazy and/or emotionally distraught or unbalanced, and having access to excessively deadly weapons and people that they want to use them on.
The reasons for this kind of behavior aside, I don't think it's a realistic nor relevant comparison either.
Thanks for your thoughts.
Regarding the gun comments, I agree, this is not the place for that sort of discussion (at least not this particular thread...if someone wants to start a discussion about violence and video games, so be it)....
Unfortunately, some people are just like that, a bunch of jerks.
There is nothing you can do to fix other peoples' behavior.
However, if you would like your son to play on an excellent server, you could tell him to come check my server out (located in my signature.) He can post a whitelist application at my server thread or the website provided for him to apply at. It would be nice if he could come check out our server, as we are currently looking to increase our population. We allow anyone of any age to play and do not tolerate rude behavior.
Bottom line is this. He is playing a game online with people he doesn't know, and the internet provides a shield for these people to act however they please. If he is already socially awkward and your guidence isn't enough, then allowing him on the net is one of the worst things you could possibly do.
I am not kidding here. If he takes every little insult to heart in real life, then he will be devestated if he continues to play online games that aren't being monitored by you CONSTANTLY and preferably with people he does know (family, friends). Let him play online games when he finally comes to terms with how to react to those situations. Too many kids online are becoming twisted due to their parents never paying attention, as proof of all of these 'online bullies' you speak of. These bullies usually aren't the "cool" kids. They are/were the same as your son and were never given any guidence or punished for their actions by their parents.
What I am trying to say is, if you can't convince him that their insults mean nothing, then he should not be left to play these games. Take him to social events where he can meet people face to face and gradually develope some social skills. To me it seems like you are trying to teach him social skills by playing online. That has to be the worst course of action imaginable.
While I appreciate the passion of your response, I need to point out, among other things, that he was not playing with people he didn't know. As I mentioned in my initial post, they are his classmates, all 12 years old. Not only does he know them, I know them too.
Also, being shy and "socially awkward" are two very different things...and believe it or not, he actually does leave the house. He's well-liked at school, a pitcher on his baseball team, and has his red belt in tae kwon do. So I find your suggestion that I'm trying to teach him social skills by playing online is more than a bit absurd.
Finally, I cannot speak to anyone else's parenting styles regarding guidance and/or discipline. However, my son has a firm grasp on consequences and positive behavior...and my interest in helping him to cope with those less-inclined is one of the purposes of this thread. The internet experience is not quite as black and white as you deem it.
What I meant - sometimes, online, kids act aggressively towards others. Not those bullied, but the ones that harass others (which happens) without consequences - these are the ones we should worry about.
But, as I said - it WAS a stretch to provoke people... The discussion is worth it, don't you think?
Perhaps, but not on this thread necessarily Tom ...
You are right - guidance is needed. BUT if a kiddo gets upset because of such an incident, it doesn't mean that he is "weird" or something. It is a normal reaction, to get upset if someone bullies you - don't you think?
AND on the other hand - no one wants our kids be educated by internet. But there is no escape from this unfortunately. Talking to the kid will help, I know, but more importantly, maybe some of those bullies will read this threat and - hopefully - remember something that has been written here?
If your kid didn't create the multiplayer server. The hosts or admins have the right do kick out whoever they please. I would probably kick him out of my game as well if I where hosting a server, as I don't like playing games on the internet with kids who are young and immature.
Essentially, this. Regardless of wether or not your son deserved to be kicked from the server, the host has, and deserves to have the right to determine who is allowed on their server.
In this case, it seems like it was just the hoster being a jerk but you should tell your son that it wasn't his fault and that some people can be rude sometimes. It doesn't matter how hard you try to shield him from it. That is one of the inevitable facts that he will eventually figure out, and I think that it's better for kids to learn that early on so that they know how to deal with situations like this.
I really feel for your son.
It is really hard, especially for a young boy to see that message displayed on a screen. He will think that nobody likes him.
There are only 2 things he could do.
First he could create an own MP server with 10 slots (or any other number). He probably will like that, but you shouldn´t forget, that he maybe kicks other ppl from his server then, like: "I got kicked too, now they get kicked."
The second thing he could do is this: Join a server and play a bit. If he gets kicked by an Admin, he can ask him why (what he already did) and just carry on. The best way would be if you tell him, that a friend of an Admin wanted to join and there was no free slot, so he had to kick a random player and he got picked.
Anyway, i can´t say much about xBox gameplays and so on, i only own a PS3 and a PC.
If he really does not want to play the game again, try to show him a few pictures of awesome buildings on the internet. He probably will act like any other young kid. "I want to build this too."
The singleplayer is really good for learning to build and so on. I mean, on the SP he can do what he want.
I have just a few questions:
1. What is his gamertag(name)? Could be that it is an offensive name, like Su**My***k (censored for our younger members here)
2. Did he place ANYTHING that wasn´t allowed on the server. Especially TNT is a big reason for random kicks.
3. I think there are skins in xBox MC? If yes, maybe they think the skin of your son is offensive.
Was not implying that a kid would be weird for feeling insulted, but the point was that if he is taking to heart, then spending time on the internet probably isn't the best thing to be doing.
I also disagree with you about there not being an escape from being exposed/educated by the internet. Not to sound cliche, but you simply do not let your child on the net and problem is solved. Could he end up going to a friend's house and surf the web anyway? Sure, but you could say the same about anything in life. No one is perfect, and no method is perfect, but you monitor your kids as much as possible and make decisions accordingly on what to restrict, and what to allow. Not every kid will be the same maturity-wise.
Also, I think the last 15 years has proven that things will only continue to get worse, regardless of what threats they happen to catch wind of. The reality of the situation is this. Mojang is a business, and more on topic, xbox live (microsoft) is a business. If they ban a rather large chunk of people because they are **** wads, then they lose a huge amount of money. Tbh, I don't blame them for being a bit leniant when it comes to people acting up, even if I do feel more people need to be punished, because that is life, they need to make a buck.
With all of that said, it all boils down to realizing that things will not change, and that you have to make decisions accordingly as a parent. It is easy enough to make a huge rant on a forum about why making the easy/lazy choice of sitting your son in front of a screen should be a viable option of developing character, but that isn't how it works for some (dare I say most) children.
I guess probably the only thing I can agree with you on here is that it's a parent's right/responsibility to make decisions for his/her own children. I find it a bit presumptuous to suggest I'm somehow plopping him in front of the screen to learn about life...in fact, this new game is one of a variety of outlets he has (both in and out of the house), and I simply pointed out that the social interaction aspect of it was a fun opportunity for him, given his shyness. He enjoys the game..is good at it...and I want to provide him the opportunity to continue to play -- hence this thread. I can't entirely disagree that my intial post be considered a bit of a rant...but I'm grateful for the majority of the responses I've received. In light of them, I'm confident that his MC experience, going forward, will be a successful one. If it isn't, then obviously, he won't be playing.
I wouldn't be too worried about being educated by the internet, pretty much everything I know computer-wise came from the internet and personal experience, and I'm studying Computer Science at university next year. The internet really isn't to be feared as an educational tool but rather to be embraced, we have access to so much information from the internet, that just would not have been widely available a mere 20 years ago. For example, past papers, I know that your son is not yet of an age where he would really need them, but I'm just giving an example to support my argument that the internet isn't just a massive porn filled 18 rated psychopathic orgy fest.
Reading the original post i would say that your son should try to ignore the people who are kicking him.
i'm 13 having the same problem so this may or may not help
Unfortunately, some people are just like that, a bunch of jerks.
There is nothing you can do to fix other peoples' behavior.
However, if you would like your son to play on an excellent server, you could tell him to come check my server out (located in my signature.) He can post a whitelist application at my server thread or the website provided for him to apply at. It would be nice if he could come check out our server, as we are currently looking to increase our population. We allow anyone of any age to play and do not tolerate rude behavior.
Thanks so much for your post and invitation. I think at this juncture, I'm most comfortable with him playing with known friends, but I'll certainly keep that in mind over time ...
Essentially, this. Regardless of wether or not your son deserved to be kicked from the server, the host has, and deserves to have the right to determine who is allowed on their server.
In this case, it seems like it was just the hoster being a jerk but you should tell your son that it wasn't his fault and that some people can be rude sometimes. It doesn't matter how hard you try to shield him from it. That is one of the inevitable facts that he will eventually figure out, and I think that it's better for kids to learn that early on so that they know how to deal with situations like this.
Hi there,
He wasn't involved with a server, but I do agree with your second paragraph. Thanks for your input.
I really feel for your son.
It is really hard, especially for a young boy to see that message displayed on a screen. He will think that nobody likes him.
There are only 2 things he could do.
First he could create an own MP server with 10 slots (or any other number). He probably will like that, but you shouldn´t forget, that he maybe kicks other ppl from his server then, like: "I got kicked too, now they get kicked."
The second thing he could do is this: Join a server and play a bit. If he gets kicked by an Admin, he can ask him why (what he already did) and just carry on. The best way would be if you tell him, that a friend of an Admin wanted to join and there was no free slot, so he had to kick a random player and he got picked.
Anyway, i can´t say much about xBox gameplays and so on, i only own a PS3 and a PC.
If he really does not want to play the game again, try to show him a few pictures of awesome buildings on the internet. He probably will act like any other young kid. "I want to build this too."
The singleplayer is really good for learning to build and so on. I mean, on the SP he can do what he want.
I have just a few questions:
1. What is his gamertag(name)? Could be that it is an offensive name, like Su**My***k (censored for our younger members here)
2. Did he place ANYTHING that wasn´t allowed on the server. Especially TNT is a big reason for random kicks.
3. I think there are skins in xBox MC? If yes, maybe they think the skin of your son is offensive.
Hi,
Thanks for your concern and interest.
Actually, he was not on with any server, on a PC version. He was on Xbox, with no server per se. Like you, several people have suggested working primarily on the PC and either starting his own server or looking for a more family-friendly one, and gratefully, I've been given a lot of direction for the latter. He has played single-player, and enjoys it...and will likely keep that as an option in his gaming repetoire.
Regarding your specific questions, his name is quite innocuous. As for the TNT or skins, I'd have to ask him, but he's out bowling right now . I wouldn't think so though.
Reading the original post i would say that your son should try to ignore the people who are kicking him.
i'm 13 having the same problem so this may or may not help
Thanks for comment nyxar. That is definitely part of the advice. Good luck to you too....hopefully some of the comments in this thread might increase your enjoyment of the game as well.
You are lacking moderators, real serious ones. You have dedicated to allow a game to expand with no real moderators and as a parent it is unfortunate you are doing this irresponsibly because your environment is cyberbullying in several servers and this is punishable by law. If you don't start to manage this in a more responsible manner, it will end up being a game that will not be parent-approved and may have legal implications for you later on.
Well. The problem is, Mojang takes no responsibilty as to what happens on servers. It is up to the server owners to decide what happens.
Sometimes there are people who get a bit power hungry, and abuse their powers. You just need to find a family friendly server.
The PC servers are a lot more tolerable of people. I would reccomend looking into it.
I've seen the cyberbullying also on PC servers, on several of them.
Well, I know the feeling of being kicked xD, I have been kicked from my friends' worlds before. But I would like to say you cannot be kicked from your own world...your son is in charge if he is hosting it. I don't know what kind of person he is but someone said before there is a "TNT" block and he could of been blowing things up. He could of been burning houses down or killing other players. If that was happening to ME i would kick the person too. But as I said before I really don't know him, he could just be a normal guy trying to have fun, but gets kicked. Btw, Mojang has no control over what goes on in a server.
I am not kidding here. If he takes every little insult to heart in real life, then he will be devestated if he continues to play online games that aren't being monitored by you CONSTANTLY and preferably with people he does know (family, friends). Let him play online games when he finally comes to terms with how to react to those situations. Too many kids online are becoming twisted due to their parents never paying attention, as proof of all of these 'online bullies' you speak of. These bullies usually aren't the "cool" kids. They are/were the same as your son and were never given any guidence or punished for their actions by their parents.
What I am trying to say is, if you can't convince him that their insults mean nothing, then he should not be left to play these games. Take him to social events where he can meet people face to face and gradually develope some social skills. To me it seems like you are trying to teach him social skills by playing online. That has to be the worst course of action imaginable.
Was not implying that a kid would be weird for feeling insulted, but the point was that if he is taking to heart, then spending time on the internet probably isn't the best thing to be doing.
I also disagree with you about there not being an escape from being exposed/educated by the internet. Not to sound cliche, but you simply do not let your child on the net and problem is solved. Could he end up going to a friend's house and surf the web anyway? Sure, but you could say the same about anything in life. No one is perfect, and no method is perfect, but you monitor your kids as much as possible and make decisions accordingly on what to restrict, and what to allow. Not every kid will be the same maturity-wise.
Also, I think the last 15 years has proven that things will only continue to get worse, regardless of what threats they happen to catch wind of. The reality of the situation is this. Mojang is a business, and more on topic, xbox live (microsoft) is a business. If they ban a rather large chunk of people because they are **** wads, then they lose a huge amount of money. Tbh, I don't blame them for being a bit leniant when it comes to people acting up, even if I do feel more people need to be punished, because that is life, they need to make a buck.
With all of that said, it all boils down to realizing that things will not change, and that you have to make decisions accordingly as a parent. It is easy enough to make a huge rant on a forum about why making the easy/lazy choice of sitting your son in front of a screen should be a viable option of developing character, but that isn't how it works for some (dare I say most) children.
Thanks for your input...and no, he seems to determined to persevere...which I'm glad about. Should he continue to experience issues though, we'll take steps accordingly. I've talked to him at some length about the responses I've received here, and they have really encouraged him. Additionally, we will be exploring the PC version some more, to get involved with the family-friendly servers that have been suggested here.
As an aside, alas, the liltle bugger won't drink milk ...the cookies on the other hand will go down no problem ....
Thanks again...
Hi,
If he had been playing in a game where there was a server (that is, on the PC version), I might be inclined to agree with you. But this was just a bunch of his 12 year old classmates playing together on the Xbox version, where no adminstrators/servers were involved. Also, I'm not quite sure how your brother-with-million-dollars reference applies to this situation....
Phew ...
Thanks for qualifying the situation, on a number of counts ....
Still, I guess being "a bit mean" vs. "bullying" can be debated and two times was enough for me to put it into the latter category. As I had mentioned in my original post, I was frustrated that the kicking out mechanism was available for abuse, but since I now understand that it's a necessary function in certain situations, the problem lies with the kids doing the abusing, not the system. Finding the right players is going to be the key here...
Thanks again.
Hi,
Your comments aren't "dumb" at all...and I appreciate you taking the time and interest to do so.
The problem lies in these kids being able to kick other kids out for no "legitimate" reason. If he had been causing problems in some shape or form, then I understand why he would need to be removed from the game...but sadly, the impression was that he wasn't one of the "cool" kids, and so he wasn't allowed to stay.
Having said that, your suggestion to find good kids to play with is definitely the way to go. We've been given some good suggestions for family-friendly servers on the PC version, and will for sure be checking them out.
Thanks again.
Scary, huh.
I suppose I understand your point about "kids today", but yes, I think that's a bit of a stretch ...
Thanks Jorgon (though I'm the Mom, not the "man" )....
Actually, as I've mentioned more than a few times, the kids are all the same age (12), and they are all and ONLY his fellow classmates. Not only does he know them in real life, but so do I.
I think the whole gun debate is better left to another forum. Having said that, it was brought up here, so I tend to agree with you Tml...
My point was simple: I had an issue with circumstances surrounding the game, and so I posted it on an internet forum dedicated to the game, in the hopes of getting some advice/direction/suggestions about it. In that regard, I've been very happy with the responses. I've learned quite a bit about the system....and still think it's a shame that there is a necessary system (I have since learned) which is capable of abuse. However, as you mention, it's the kids who are abusing it, so the trick will be learning to find the right ones to play with. I have been given quite a few ideas about family-friendly servers and the like, so I would not trade this experience for fear of someone questioning my right to do so.
Hi there,
I agree, given your circumstances, that perhaps it is a luxury for me to be concerned about my son's experience. However and sadly, your situation doesn't make his situation any easier per se...and as a mother, it's both my right and privelege to take an interest in his welfare. As you've noted, that's a parent's job.
That aside, and more specifically, he was not involved in a server situation...and he was not kicked for a minor infraction or as a warning. That was my point to begin with.
Finally, I wish you well...and kudos to your parents for doing what they can to afford you such opportunities.
Gosh, that would be nice to think that this thread might make someone think twice about being respectful...but I suspect those who are guilty of bullying and the like would not be inclined to read this thread, as it might strike too close to home ...
Hey there,
As I've mentioned, he wasn't involved with a server, he was playing only with fellow 12 year old classmates (whom we both know), and he wasn't doing anything wrong...
Having said that, he's already learning...with the help of some of these comments...to better navigate the Xbox version (which doesn't involve servers)...and he is also exploring both the servers suggested for the PC and perhaps starting one of his own.
Thanks for your input though .
No need to apologize, though I do appreciate both your input and concern. Yes, I have learned the kick option is a "necessary evil", but I've also been given some great advice about how to contend with it, so it's all good (well, mostly )....
Thanks again.
Actually, there is some correlation between bullying and some of these heinous crimes, but as I've mentioned, I think this conversation is better left for another venue.
Thanks for your thoughts.
Regarding the gun comments, I agree, this is not the place for that sort of discussion (at least not this particular thread...if someone wants to start a discussion about violence and video games, so be it)....
Hope you both can take some of the comments here to heart to help better his experience as well .
There is nothing you can do to fix other peoples' behavior.
However, if you would like your son to play on an excellent server, you could tell him to come check my server out (located in my signature.) He can post a whitelist application at my server thread or the website provided for him to apply at. It would be nice if he could come check out our server, as we are currently looking to increase our population. We allow anyone of any age to play and do not tolerate rude behavior.
While I appreciate the passion of your response, I need to point out, among other things, that he was not playing with people he didn't know. As I mentioned in my initial post, they are his classmates, all 12 years old. Not only does he know them, I know them too.
Also, being shy and "socially awkward" are two very different things...and believe it or not, he actually does leave the house. He's well-liked at school, a pitcher on his baseball team, and has his red belt in tae kwon do. So I find your suggestion that I'm trying to teach him social skills by playing online is more than a bit absurd.
Finally, I cannot speak to anyone else's parenting styles regarding guidance and/or discipline. However, my son has a firm grasp on consequences and positive behavior...and my interest in helping him to cope with those less-inclined is one of the purposes of this thread. The internet experience is not quite as black and white as you deem it.
Perhaps, but not on this thread necessarily Tom ...
Thanks for your additional comments here...
In this case, it seems like it was just the hoster being a jerk but you should tell your son that it wasn't his fault and that some people can be rude sometimes. It doesn't matter how hard you try to shield him from it. That is one of the inevitable facts that he will eventually figure out, and I think that it's better for kids to learn that early on so that they know how to deal with situations like this.
It is really hard, especially for a young boy to see that message displayed on a screen. He will think that nobody likes him.
There are only 2 things he could do.
First he could create an own MP server with 10 slots (or any other number). He probably will like that, but you shouldn´t forget, that he maybe kicks other ppl from his server then, like: "I got kicked too, now they get kicked."
The second thing he could do is this: Join a server and play a bit. If he gets kicked by an Admin, he can ask him why (what he already did) and just carry on. The best way would be if you tell him, that a friend of an Admin wanted to join and there was no free slot, so he had to kick a random player and he got picked.
Anyway, i can´t say much about xBox gameplays and so on, i only own a PS3 and a PC.
If he really does not want to play the game again, try to show him a few pictures of awesome buildings on the internet. He probably will act like any other young kid. "I want to build this too."
The singleplayer is really good for learning to build and so on. I mean, on the SP he can do what he want.
I have just a few questions:
1. What is his gamertag(name)? Could be that it is an offensive name, like Su**My***k (censored for our younger members here)
2. Did he place ANYTHING that wasn´t allowed on the server. Especially TNT is a big reason for random kicks.
3. I think there are skins in xBox MC? If yes, maybe they think the skin of your son is offensive.
I guess probably the only thing I can agree with you on here is that it's a parent's right/responsibility to make decisions for his/her own children. I find it a bit presumptuous to suggest I'm somehow plopping him in front of the screen to learn about life...in fact, this new game is one of a variety of outlets he has (both in and out of the house), and I simply pointed out that the social interaction aspect of it was a fun opportunity for him, given his shyness. He enjoys the game..is good at it...and I want to provide him the opportunity to continue to play -- hence this thread. I can't entirely disagree that my intial post be considered a bit of a rant...but I'm grateful for the majority of the responses I've received. In light of them, I'm confident that his MC experience, going forward, will be a successful one. If it isn't, then obviously, he won't be playing.
Valid point ...
i'm 13 having the same problem so this may or may not help
Thanks so much for your post and invitation. I think at this juncture, I'm most comfortable with him playing with known friends, but I'll certainly keep that in mind over time ...
Hi there,
He wasn't involved with a server, but I do agree with your second paragraph. Thanks for your input.
Hi,
Thanks for your concern and interest.
Actually, he was not on with any server, on a PC version. He was on Xbox, with no server per se. Like you, several people have suggested working primarily on the PC and either starting his own server or looking for a more family-friendly one, and gratefully, I've been given a lot of direction for the latter. He has played single-player, and enjoys it...and will likely keep that as an option in his gaming repetoire.
Regarding your specific questions, his name is quite innocuous. As for the TNT or skins, I'd have to ask him, but he's out bowling right now . I wouldn't think so though.
Thanks again for your response.
Thanks for comment nyxar. That is definitely part of the advice. Good luck to you too....hopefully some of the comments in this thread might increase your enjoyment of the game as well.
I've seen the cyberbullying also on PC servers, on several of them.