It's the internet. There is nobody to protect your kid against bullying. If you don't want him to be around it, then the answer is quite simple. Don't allow your kid to have access to the internet. Other than that there is no way around this problem. People can do whatever they please on the internet with zero consequences.
Not necessarily, the internet is sort of like a constructive anarchy, and it can be controlled to some extent.
Your perspective on this issue seems to be rather selfish. Your son is getting kicked out of games, you don't like that, therefore you think there shouldn't be the ability to kick players. Well let me ask you this, what if your son created his own world, put tons of effort into it building structures, gathering resources etc. Then was asked by someone at school "hey can I join your world? it will be fun!". Your son invites them into his world and they start destroying it. Would you not think he should have the right to kick them out?
The kicking mechanism is in place to prevent bullying via destructive playing styles.
I also take issue with you describing him being kicked out as bullying. It's never nice when other kids don't want to play with your kid, but does that make it bullying? Because in this case, him being kicked out is just akin to "we don't want to play with you anymore" and I know it sucks, but if your kid had ever actually been bullied, you'd realise this is not the same thing.
If these kids however are raising his hopes just to kick him out and there is more going on, than in that case, perhaps it is bullying but you can hardly blame Mojang for that. Bullies use a multitude of platforms to bully, it was not fostered by Mojang. As i said the kick function exists for a much needed purpose. To prevent people gaining someones trust just to destroy their world.
Hi RebD,
I don't think it's being selfish to want your kid to be able to do something he wants to/likes to do/can do well without fear of being kicked out of a room for no reason. I also disagree with you about your playground scenario -- I still think that's bullying. But like I said elsewhere, I'm not here to argue...and you're entitled to your opinion.
That aside, I do have a better understanding -- from both your comments and those of others -- why there is a "kicking out" function. It's simply the misuse of that function I find bothersome. However, I realize there's no way to address that system-wide, and it will just be a matter of figuring out who to play with.
Well. The problem is, Mojang takes no responsibilty as to what happens on servers. It is up to the server owners to decide what happens.
Sometimes there are people who get a bit power hungry, and abuse their powers. You just need to find a family friendly server.
The PC servers are a lot more tolerable of people. I would reccomend looking into it.
Point well-taken ....sad but true, across the board. Thanks for your response.
Hmm... watch him while he plays... if he places random blocks everywhere then that is the problem... if not and there is no other apparent reason, take it to either the people who kicked him, or their parents.
That's all I can say.
Thanks for coming back to chime in again Dextrous. Good advice.
First of all its Xbox, there are no servers other then friends inviting friends to the game and unless he is the "owner" of the map aka he is the one hosting the game he cannot be kicked out.And to be honest it kinda seem like your joking with us.Because of the way your dragging this conversation on. Xbox is allot different then PC version in a way you set up games or servers. Only the party leader can kick/invite/ban ect and i don't think there is a banning system on the xbox version unless its a new feature no banning can be done on minecraft "Xbox" edition.
#XBOX He is talking about the Xbox edition not the pc. I'm saying this because allot of people seem to be saying find a new server or look for a family friendly one...
edit: I'v noticed that the children are kicking him and if this keeps happening why not just admit him into a club.....I know people like your son and they have friends they can relate to now. In other words he needs new friends.
sorry if this seems heartless but iv seen way to many parents complain and honestly complaining to the forum seems a little over board since most of us really can do much but give advice or feel bad for him.
Hey Who,
I'm not "dragging this conversation on" -- I'm simply responding to those who took the time to respond to my initial post. Common courtesy.
Anyway, I'm glad you clarified the point about servers on PC vs. Xbox...because I did not get the sense that he had any involvement with those. It was strictly the other kids doing the kicking out. Regarding your "club" idea, are there clubs within the game you mean? Or are you just referring to clubs in general?
Finally, regarding "going overboard"...again, we'll have to agree to disagree. I had a gripe with MinEcraft....so a MinEcraft forum seemed like a reasonable place to start. I was hoping to get some advice, and I got some.
I have kids, and of course I don't want any of them bullied...
..But at the same time I have to just roll my eyes when people/kids/parents get on forums like this to complain they got mistreated on the internet.
"I let my kid play call of duty and he was called names!!"
...I'm sorry...but at the same time, cry me a river. its a dog eat dog world. And the internet is one place where you can't hide behind your participation trophy or your political correctness.
Actually, I initiated a discussion on a place specifically designed for that purpose -- a forum. And though I recognize that yes, the internet is a tough place (as proven by your comments), I've received some terrific advice, so wouldn't change a thing. FYI, he isn't allowed to play Call of Duty -- he's 12.
This is why people under 16 shouldn't game online, it just causes hassle. Granted, theres a fair share of jerks above that age, but the majority are under 16 immature kids who think they own the place and think that they are wiser than their elders....oh how wrong they are.
I know Minecraft might LOOK like a kids game, but really it isn't so much, it's kind of a game for everybody. And becuase it's for everybody, anybody will play, including jerks. You get them all over the place.
Oh and by the way, one thing I've come to realise in the 5 years I've been away from school is that the 'popular kids' were usually the more IMMATURE ones...yet they seemed more mature at the time, and only until you turn 18/19 do you think back and realise how really, REALLY immature they actually were.
The online world really is a hurtful place sometimes and I hope your son gets over his troubles.
Have some of my love <3
Interesting perspective and comments. I appreciate you taking the time to share them -- and your good wishes for my son -- with me.
Does he have a close friend that plays the game? Starting small with people he can trust is probably the best step before branching out into larger group play. That way he still has somewhere to turn when these things happen.
Hi,
Yes he does, and that's how it started out, innocently enough. It was when some of the other kids other friends joined in that the kicking out happened. He has since played with the intial group of kids, and if and when those other kids join in again, he'll have to decide whether to stay or leave. Thanks for your input.
i dont have xbox, so im assuming that you open a world and anyone in a group can join.
what if 1 person invited him for a different game, but they just dont want to play mc with him? i dont see why they should have to. in case this seemed mean, it wasnt meant to.
I don't quite understand your question....so can't decide if it's mean or not ...
I think you misunderstood my point, and looking back, I don't think I worded it well enough. At least on PC, the owner of a server (not the server itself) can give trusted players "operator" rights, to be able to ban players, kick them, and other special commands that do stuff in-game. The server didn't kick your son out, one of the ops did, assuming Xbox works that much like PC.
Hi again Roadsguy,
From what I can gather from some of the other posters, the PC and Xbox versions are a bit different. Still, it was definitely just some of his classmates who kicked him out (not any one with special privileges). I appreciate your additional visit though, thanks.
I gamed online when I was 8 or so. I'm surprised no one kicked me or something.
I don't see much of a problem here though. I highly bet your son is doing something wrong, like not saying nice things, messing around with other's projects, stuff like that.
Nope, he was doing what he was supposed to be doing....that's what was so frustrating.
Regardless, thanks for chiming in. You gave me a chuckle about YOUR history with online gaming though ....
The Xbox is the entire reason for this, so don't get worked up about it. The Xbox community is less mature and generally less forgiving than the web community, and you tend to find less bigots in the Minecraft community overall. I don't know what to say other than use singleplayer.
Luckily, he has several Xbox games which don't involve interactions with kids outside of the house. And he has enjoyed Minecraft on the PC and in singleplayer, so if this situation continues, he has plenty of back-up options. Thanks for chiming in....
I don't think it's being selfish to want your kid to be able to do something he wants to/likes to do/can do well without fear of being kicked out of a room for no reason.
I can understand that. I was just annoyed that you were blaming it all on the kick function. It is reasonable to want your kid to be able to enjoy his hobby and share it with like minded people.
I also disagree with you about your playground scenario -- I still think that's bullying. But like I said elsewhere, I'm not here to argue...and you're entitled to your opinion.
I think by "playground scenario" you mean the bit where I said that just because a group of kids doesn't want to play with another kid, doesn't make it bullying? I'm only asking because i'm not entirely sure what you mean. If you disagree with what I said, that's your right. And you're probably right about it not being worth an argument, so I guess we'll just have to disagree on that point.
That aside, I do have a better understanding -- from both your comments and those of others -- why there is a "kicking out" function. It's simply the misuse of that function I find bothersome. However, I realize there's no way to address that system-wide, and it will just be a matter of figuring out who to play with.
Yeah I think that's sensible, you're going to find it far easier to find people your son can play with than you are changing the attitudes of the entire player base and changing how servers operate.
I'm glad you understand why the kick function exists now. That's the only thing I had a problem with. Mojang didn't add it to foster bullying, they added it to prevent people from ruining other peoples fun, It was implemented with the best of intentions, i'm sure.
I stand by what I said in my original post, but I do think I could have worded it in a much friendlier manner. So I would just like to say, thank you for disagreeing with me in a mature manner and replying to my post with a friendly demeanor. I wish you and your son the best of luck finding a server that he can enjoy.
Well, as most of the comments are saying "Lol stupid troll" or "Get PC edition Xbox sucks" I will tell you one thing. They are both right. Lol stupid troll, I do not know your son, but i am sure that unless you and your wife are both trolls, at most he could only be part troll. From the sincerity of your post however, we are forced to believe that if he has any troll blood in him what so ever then it is from your wife. I would also like to say that Xbox does not suck, but PC is better for minecraft. I would look into minecraft Pc for your son, and give your wife the nickname of "Possible troll." Good luck
[sorry if this sounds mean, i am in perfect agreeance. Multiple times i have been banned by my friends and multiple times i have felt bullied. However this is the greatest game, and some of the people are dicks without dicks;)]
Yes he does, and that's how it started out, innocently enough. It was when some of the other kids other friends joined in that the kicking out happened. He has since played with the intial group of kids, and if and when those other kids join in again, he'll have to decide whether to stay or leave. Thanks for your input.
I don't quite understand your question....so can't decide if it's mean or not ...
im saying that they might just not want to play with him(assuming its like a group invite for xbox)
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Sam- I left this here because I know you like MC and hope you are on this forum. this is alex, from gym and geography class. the kid with long hair and glasses. make an account and msg me if you see this.
I don't see how that works really. If he was the Game Host he cannot be kicked out of his own game. As far as Im' aware the Xbox version of minecraft shares his own world (the host's world) and thus he is in charge.
Also not to be rude but, who cares if he gets kicked from a GAME. It happens to everyone and i wouldn't call it bullying its part of how the game works. Say someone joins and starts to kill other players and destroy the world. You kick them because you don't want that to happen. It is part of the game and all games have this feature. And I'm sorry but this is having an adverse effect on him why do you let him play? And for a 12 year old I think he needs to get a pair and grow up a little. Yes I was 12 once but I mean really? Needs to grow up IMO.
Some servers have a rule where 13+ people are allowed on it for a fair reason, but that was usually classic, and they are saying false information to players. The rule is to prevent harassment to the other kids, but if they're making the message unprofessional like this:
Logged off of server
kicked for not being 13+ How stupid
Then that's not fair AT ALL. But if it says something like this:
Logged off of server
kicked for not being 13+ Sorry, it's to prevent harassment.
Then I find that fair. But the servers have their own operators and the operator has his or her decision, whether to be a total idiot with their rules and have ridiculous rules like this:
Do not stare at the owner or ban. MCBans is on!
There are a whole bunch of fair servers on the PC version, and they only have game related rules like this:
No griefing!
I've never seen a 13+ rule on PC version except for classic.
Thanks Karbuncle. But yes, unfortunately they can do that. At any rate, I guess what I'm getting at is...the set-up as it exists...creates an environment for bullying. The obvious answer, yes, is to let him just play as a single player....but it's bothersome that one of the more-fun options has this nefarious element. I'd think it should be more like, if you don't like/know someone, don't accept them into a game to begin with....and/or if you're not enjoying yourself, then just leave. I know, unrealistic in this day and age.
Nevertheless, I appreciate your comments....
I also feel for your situation. Try playing with your son on the Xbox, just you and him playing Minecraft. I'm not sure if you can do it, since I only have the PC version, but a father-son interaction, especially in a videogame, is a unique and wonderful experience, for father and son. It will let you find out what you do in the game, if you feel the game is inappropriate, slang and phrases that comes from the game, and generally let you know how your son is feeling when he gets frustrated or disappointed with the game. Playing a videogame with your son will also create a safe play environment for them, it will make him feel sure that no matter what happens in the game, that you're always there for him, and many more things. I could go on, but I'm sure that you and many other know of the incredible benefits of father to son interactions, especially in videogames. I could not state how awesome it is to play games with you son.
Have a great day!
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"Map making isn't about painting a canvas, it's more like creating a giant block and carving a statue out of it."
Was him playing with "close" people (friends, or other kids from his school, etc.)?
Or was him playing with random people on the internet?
If he's playing with "close" people, maybe it can be bullying (but maybe it's not)
If he's playing with random people, then there is nothing you can do. Once I started playing an online game, I joined a room, and got kicked for no apparent reason.
I can understand that. I was just annoyed that you were blaming it all on the kick function. It is reasonable to want your kid to be able to enjoy his hobby and share it with like minded people.
I think by "playground scenario" you mean the bit where I said that just because a group of kids doesn't want to play with another kid, doesn't make it bullying? I'm only asking because i'm not entirely sure what you mean. If you disagree with what I said, that's your right. And you're probably right about it not being worth an argument, so I guess we'll just have to disagree on that point.
Yeah I think that's sensible, you're going to find it far easier to find people your son can play with than you are changing the attitudes of the entire player base and changing how servers operate.
I'm glad you understand why the kick function exists now. That's the only thing I had a problem with. Mojang didn't add it to foster bullying, they added it to prevent people from ruining other peoples fun, It was implemented with the best of intentions, i'm sure.
I stand by what I said in my original post, but I do think I could have worded it in a much friendlier manner. So I would just like to say, thank you for disagreeing with me in a mature manner and replying to my post with a friendly demeanor. I wish you and your son the best of luck finding a server that he can enjoy.
Thanks for taking the time to respond again...and for your kind words. Yup, it's easier to be nice than not...Have a good night.
Not necessarily, the internet is sort of like a constructive anarchy, and it can be controlled to some extent.
TROLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOHi RebD,
I don't think it's being selfish to want your kid to be able to do something he wants to/likes to do/can do well without fear of being kicked out of a room for no reason. I also disagree with you about your playground scenario -- I still think that's bullying. But like I said elsewhere, I'm not here to argue...and you're entitled to your opinion.
That aside, I do have a better understanding -- from both your comments and those of others -- why there is a "kicking out" function. It's simply the misuse of that function I find bothersome. However, I realize there's no way to address that system-wide, and it will just be a matter of figuring out who to play with.
Point well-taken ....sad but true, across the board. Thanks for your response.
Thanks for coming back to chime in again Dextrous. Good advice.
Hey Who,
I'm not "dragging this conversation on" -- I'm simply responding to those who took the time to respond to my initial post. Common courtesy.
Anyway, I'm glad you clarified the point about servers on PC vs. Xbox...because I did not get the sense that he had any involvement with those. It was strictly the other kids doing the kicking out. Regarding your "club" idea, are there clubs within the game you mean? Or are you just referring to clubs in general?
Finally, regarding "going overboard"...again, we'll have to agree to disagree. I had a gripe with MinEcraft....so a MinEcraft forum seemed like a reasonable place to start. I was hoping to get some advice, and I got some.
Thanks for taking the time to comment.
If you're interested, the link to it is: http://www.minecraftforum.net/forum/171-find-players/
Actually, I initiated a discussion on a place specifically designed for that purpose -- a forum. And though I recognize that yes, the internet is a tough place (as proven by your comments), I've received some terrific advice, so wouldn't change a thing. FYI, he isn't allowed to play Call of Duty -- he's 12.
Interesting perspective and comments. I appreciate you taking the time to share them -- and your good wishes for my son -- with me.
Hi,
Yes he does, and that's how it started out, innocently enough. It was when some of the other kids other friends joined in that the kicking out happened. He has since played with the intial group of kids, and if and when those other kids join in again, he'll have to decide whether to stay or leave. Thanks for your input.
I don't quite understand your question....so can't decide if it's mean or not ...
Hi again Roadsguy,
From what I can gather from some of the other posters, the PC and Xbox versions are a bit different. Still, it was definitely just some of his classmates who kicked him out (not any one with special privileges). I appreciate your additional visit though, thanks.
Nope, he was doing what he was supposed to be doing....that's what was so frustrating.
Regardless, thanks for chiming in. You gave me a chuckle about YOUR history with online gaming though ....
So it seems...thanks for commenting.
Luckily, he has several Xbox games which don't involve interactions with kids outside of the house. And he has enjoyed Minecraft on the PC and in singleplayer, so if this situation continues, he has plenty of back-up options. Thanks for chiming in....
"constructive anarchy" -- perfect
Yup, that's what I've learned....thanks.
That sounds awesome, thanks very much!!
I can understand that. I was just annoyed that you were blaming it all on the kick function. It is reasonable to want your kid to be able to enjoy his hobby and share it with like minded people.
I think by "playground scenario" you mean the bit where I said that just because a group of kids doesn't want to play with another kid, doesn't make it bullying? I'm only asking because i'm not entirely sure what you mean. If you disagree with what I said, that's your right. And you're probably right about it not being worth an argument, so I guess we'll just have to disagree on that point.
Yeah I think that's sensible, you're going to find it far easier to find people your son can play with than you are changing the attitudes of the entire player base and changing how servers operate.
I'm glad you understand why the kick function exists now. That's the only thing I had a problem with. Mojang didn't add it to foster bullying, they added it to prevent people from ruining other peoples fun, It was implemented with the best of intentions, i'm sure.
I stand by what I said in my original post, but I do think I could have worded it in a much friendlier manner. So I would just like to say, thank you for disagreeing with me in a mature manner and replying to my post with a friendly demeanor. I wish you and your son the best of luck finding a server that he can enjoy.
[sorry if this sounds mean, i am in perfect agreeance. Multiple times i have been banned by my friends and multiple times i have felt bullied. However this is the greatest game, and some of the people are dicks without dicks;)]
im saying that they might just not want to play with him(assuming its like a group invite for xbox)
Wow a little harsh don't you think
Then that's not fair AT ALL. But if it says something like this:
Then I find that fair. But the servers have their own operators and the operator has his or her decision, whether to be a total idiot with their rules and have ridiculous rules like this:
There are a whole bunch of fair servers on the PC version, and they only have game related rules like this:
I've never seen a 13+ rule on PC version except for classic.
I also feel for your situation. Try playing with your son on the Xbox, just you and him playing Minecraft. I'm not sure if you can do it, since I only have the PC version, but a father-son interaction, especially in a videogame, is a unique and wonderful experience, for father and son. It will let you find out what you do in the game, if you feel the game is inappropriate, slang and phrases that comes from the game, and generally let you know how your son is feeling when he gets frustrated or disappointed with the game. Playing a videogame with your son will also create a safe play environment for them, it will make him feel sure that no matter what happens in the game, that you're always there for him, and many more things. I could go on, but I'm sure that you and many other know of the incredible benefits of father to son interactions, especially in videogames. I could not state how awesome it is to play games with you son.
Have a great day!
Or was him playing with random people on the internet?
If he's playing with "close" people, maybe it can be bullying (but maybe it's not)
If he's playing with random people, then there is nothing you can do. Once I started playing an online game, I joined a room, and got kicked for no apparent reason.
Thanks for taking the time to respond again...and for your kind words. Yup, it's easier to be nice than not...Have a good night.
You got a laugh out of me on that one ...