Sadly, there's little to nothing that can be done about it. Some kids are like that, they may find kicking your son to be funny, or they may simply dislike him and not want him on the server. The best you can do is reason with them but all in all if it's the server they're running, they get the last say on who they want on it and there's nothing that can be done. If it doesn't go down into abuse then really it's not even a bad thing, maybe it would be advised for your son to find new friends.
As for bullying, I'd say that's a bit of a stretch given the current situation. At least to me, it's not bullying until verbal/physical abuse comes to play. This is more just exclusion.
I know from personal experience what exclusion is like. It is terrible and people should not have to go through with it. But. It is, if anything, a good thing for your son. It separates his true friends from his 'fake' ones. However, they may just be joking around, children's humour can extend to that.
When you come to the conclusion that those people aren't worth your time, you suddenly feel much better. Personally I would say not to take it too hard because it is just a game and if they don't want him there then it's their decision.
Oh wow - too many pages - back n forth.
Many sides on this - I myself play Minecraft and my now 13 year old got me started.
I have seen it all - the traps/griefing/kicking.....he plays with kids from school and for the most part there are no problems. One day I will see someone kill him/ or destroy what he built and he "bans" hi and then next week they are playing again.
Two of his friends I have selected to allow into my worlds - invite only is the best way.
If you allow friends of friends it leaves the door wide open.
Friends from school can be a good choice - however, as relationships can get heated on Xbox, it can carry over into school so please have him choose wisely.
Now that my son has PC Minecraft, he rarely plays with me .....Im fine with solo or one of his friends that I now trust.
If you would want him to request me or my son as a friend, pm me - we wont kick him and he can build from there.
Good luck!
Jennifer
Kicking a kid from a server is up to the server owner or admins, its not bullying. Also I believe this story is false, I mean who gets the name of the game wrong this many times?
Two words, shut up. I'm sure you've got the name of something wrong before, and I bet nobody said you were lying because "nobody can get it wrong that many times". Seriously, either try to be helpful, or just don't bother posting.
Rude much? Think for am omnet, a parent gets a game, finds a forum for the game online, then doesnt know the name of the game? It seems like this is just for drama or is fake, however no need to be rude towrads me for pointing this out.
MinDcraft - it was misspelled on purpose. Read the threat before commenting, please.
No comment to your words, 'cause they're not worth any.
No it wasn't....someone pointed out the flaw and they just changed it >.>
Also its a thread, not a 'threat'
One last thing, you say my comment was worth no words...yet you made the comment towards me anyway,....please dont be a hypocrite
I joined this forum to express my discontent about this subject. I do not know how to contact MINECRAFT or their manufacturer.Mojang AB is the manufacturer, and I do not know how to conact them.
Basically, we got our 12 year old son an xbox for Christmas. He has played Mindcraft online a lot and enjoys it quite a bit. He is somewhat shy socially, and I was pleased to see/hear him playing Minecraft (he is a good player from what I've seen) with some other kids (all from the comforts of home). A couple of times in the last few days...he has been randomly "kicked out" of the games he was playing in by some of the other boys. One was in a game/party he had initiated. (Edit 1/20: apparently not the case....he was friends with the boy who started it.)Alright, his friend was being a jerk. This is not your son's fault, and he should not be too upset over it.
I do not know the particulars of why this happened. He did not know either...and had asked one of the boys in a private message, but he didn't respond. Some of these kids that got involved in the games are some of the "popular" kids...and I suppose my son just got into a given game by association with someone else on the periphery. Oh the popular kids? Idk about that, my knowledge of the xbox version is null.
So I'm not necessarily saying it's anyone's responsibility to allow him to keep playing, if they don't want him to play for whatever reason. But this method -- of "kicking someone out" -- and having that message displayed to my son (or whomever)....is ridiculous. It's bullying in it's basest form. Like they're on the playground at the school yard, and they won't let him play. It's completely random, and without just cause. Yes, I agree. Have him just rejoin the game, a kick is most likely the other kid being a jerk. A ban keeps him from rejoining, a kick just disconnects him.
I have seen the effect this has had on him...and now he is reluctant to even play....for fear of being kicked off. Please don't say "well he must have been doing something wrong". He was not being abusive in any way shape or form (it's in our family room, so I hear every word). Alright, this happened to me when I was young also. Tell him that it is not his fault, and the other kid was just being a bully.
No one is policing this. And at the very least, if the initiator of a given game can be kicked out, that's just ridiculous. I thought the other kid started the game?
My primary gripe is the way this situation is being handled. As I said, I perceive it, it is BULLYING. And it makes me mad...that other boys...have somehow made a FUN experience for my son something that he now will only do with trepidation. Tell him not to worry, and have him only play with friends that YOU know are nice. (My assumption is that this is like the Open to LAN option in the pc version.)
I don't imagine my son is the only victim of this. I certainly hope there is another adult or someone from Minecraft who sees this...as I suspect the kids playing are just going to tell me to shut up. Yes, the other kids were being mean. Explain that the other kid was being mean, and have him play a game with his most trusted friends only for a while.
EDIT 1/17: First, yes, I know it's MinEcraft....and secondly, I'm actually the MOM, not the father . Find it funny some people made the assumption I was the latter ... Lol, I guessed you were the mom.
EDIT1/18: For those of you put off by the length of this thread, let me say a few things: first and foremost, if someone took the time and interest to respond to me, I'm certainly going to take the time to respond in kind; second, consider perhaps this topic warrants a "lively" discussion; and finally, you are under no obligation to wade thru it. Ok, this thread is not too long at all.
EDIT 1/21: Feel like I want to amend this a bit, given a recurrence of the same sort of responses in the thread (I realize people are not going to read the whole thing necessarily). The kicking out that was done was not done by a server. It was done by kids who he knows -- fellow 12 year old 6th graders from his class. I know all the kids he was playing with, there were no older-than-12-year-olds playing. So neither his age nor his interactions with "strangers" did not play into this at all. This is just a case of his classmates being mean.
I was I suppose "bullied" on a PC server because of my name, I was banned because of my name and the reason was, "Charlie Sheen sucks (profanity)". In no way shape or form is my name relevant in my mind to that person. It's sheen from Jimmy Neutron. (Awesome show when I was a kid.). Unfortunately I had no way to report him because he was the owner and was a simpleton 10 year old.
Coming from a 15 year old, this doesn't really classify as bullying IMO. Your son wasn't wanted in the game, so he was kicked for whatever reason. I'm only 15, but as a high school student your son needs to learn that people won't like him. No one is liked by everyone, and in high school people WILL mess with each other. Doesn't matter who you are, even the "popular" kids will get messed with by people. It's good to be exposed now to what the world is really like. Not trying to tell you how to parent but more of advice from one teenager to an upcoming one.
More to the topic of the thread, I only read to page 5, but I guess I'll just say what has been repeated. I doubt the attempt was to really upset your son. They might have just not felt he was right in that game. Me and my buddies will kick people who are in our game because we are trying to do something with ourselves only. It isn't like that means your son isn't like.
You are lacking moderators, real serious ones. You have dedicated to allow a game to expand with no real moderators and as a parent it is unfortunate you are doing this irresponsibly because your environment is cyberbullying in several servers and this is punishable by law. If you don't start to manage this in a more responsible manner, it will end up being a game that will not be parent-approved and may have legal implications for you later on.
To be honest, I don't understand your post. This situation did not involve servers...and I certainly haven't done anything irresponsible or legally-questionable. You might want to re-read the orignal post before you start pointing fingers.
Well, I know the feeling of being kicked xD, I have been kicked from my friends' worlds before. But I would like to say you cannot be kicked from your own world...your son is in charge if he is hosting it. I don't know what kind of person he is but someone said before there is a "TNT" block and he could of been blowing things up. He could of been burning houses down or killing other players. If that was happening to ME i would kick the person too. But as I said before I really don't know him, he could just be a normal guy trying to have fun, but gets kicked. Btw, Mojang has no control over what goes on in a server.
Hi,
Yes, I realize now...thanks to this thread... that Mojang has no control over what happens in individual servers. I did not understand the relationships at the time of my initial post.
Again, it doesn't seem that he was doing anything "wrong" technically in the game, hence my agitation....but again, thanks to the bulk of the feedback I've been given, I have a much better handle on how to avoid this situation in the future....and if it should happen again, what to do instead.
You could always contact Xbox Support, they deal with the online system, not the company making the game, since they aren't hosting the servers themselves, but, at the end of the day, if it is someone else's server, they can kick out whoever they like, there is always a singleplayer option, or, he could add some of the forum members here and play with them, they sure seem nicer here
Huh, never thought of contacting Xbox; figured it was a feature specific to Minecraft, so that's where I started.
Nevertheless, as you say, there's no one who supervises the servers, they are all independent, and they're going to do what they're going to do. While my son's situation did not involve a server, I've been given some great direction and advice about how to proceed with the servers on the PC version. For the time being though, I'd like him to stick to playing with kids he knows (well, at least the NICE ones) and enjoy navigating the system with them .
Sadly, there's little to nothing that can be done about it. Some kids are like that, they may find kicking your son to be funny, or they may simply dislike him and not want him on the server. The best you can do is reason with them but all in all if it's the server they're running, they get the last say on who they want on it and there's nothing that can be done. If it doesn't go down into abuse then really it's not even a bad thing, maybe it would be advised for your son to find new friends.
As for bullying, I'd say that's a bit of a stretch given the current situation. At least to me, it's not bullying until verbal/physical abuse comes to play. This is more just exclusion.
I know from personal experience what exclusion is like. It is terrible and people should not have to go through with it. But. It is, if anything, a good thing for your son. It separates his true friends from his 'fake' ones. However, they may just be joking around, children's humour can extend to that.
When you come to the conclusion that those people aren't worth your time, you suddenly feel much better. Personally I would say not to take it too hard because it is just a game and if they don't want him there then it's their decision.
Thank you for a very thoughtful post. Trying to keep it all in perspective is a lesson for me too.
Oh wow - too many pages - back n forth.
Many sides on this - I myself play Minecraft and my now 13 year old got me started.
I have seen it all - the traps/griefing/kicking.....he plays with kids from school and for the most part there are no problems. One day I will see someone kill him/ or destroy what he built and he "bans" hi and then next week they are playing again.
Two of his friends I have selected to allow into my worlds - invite only is the best way.
If you allow friends of friends it leaves the door wide open.
Friends from school can be a good choice - however, as relationships can get heated on Xbox, it can carry over into school so please have him choose wisely.
Now that my son has PC Minecraft, he rarely plays with me .....Im fine with solo or one of his friends that I now trust.
If you would want him to request me or my son as a friend, pm me - we wont kick him and he can build from there.
Good luck!
Jennifer
Hi Jennifer,
Yup, this is a long thread for sure . It's my first post here ever, and it seems to have taken on a life of its own!
Thanks too for your input, from one mom to another. You're right about the nuances of adolescent boy relationships...and this whole process has been one big learning experience. But I'm glad I made the effort to sort some of this stuff out...as I've been given some great advice and support.
While I sincerely appreciate the offer to include him in your games, I think for the time being....as he's still getting his feet wet with the Xbox...I'll probably want him to just play with his friends. Having said that, it's gratifying to know there are people like yourself who are generous enough to extend a hand to him...and as time goes on, we might certainly take you up on your offer.
I'd just like to say I've only read the first 5 or so pages, so somebody may have replied to this already, but I feel the need to point something out:
Also be sure to notify the school staff of your son to keep an eye out for him being bullied... stuff like cyberbullying is usually an extension of real bullying. Chances are that your son is shy BECAUSE he is being bullied.
This is CRAZY. The kicking issue isn't really that much of an issue, and I'll bet the people hat kicked him didn't even think of it as bullying. However, when you notify the school, the kids that kicked him, even the ones that were just there and never actually kicked him, are all going to get disproportional punishments because they were "bullying" a kid. They were probably just going to relax and have fun, kicked your child because they're twelve year olds and think it will be worth a laugh, and now that your kid threw a fit because he has to press a button and reconnect that kid is going to get a suspension or referral for something he didn't even do it school.
Or, if the powers that be are smart, they'll laugh you out of the office. I'm not saying this to be a jerk. I'm saying this because you are freaking out over what is essentially a harmless joke some 12 year olds pulled. I'd get it if they called him names, or swore at him, or destroyed his building (although that's still not contact-school worthy). They did essentially nothing of consequence to him and you are WAY over thinking it.
Kicking a kid from a server is up to the server owner or admins, its not bullying. Also I believe this story is false, I mean who gets the name of the game wrong this many times?
While you're certainly welcome to interpret my post as you like, your response suggests you didn't read it in its entirety. In fact he wasn't involved with a server....so while you're comment is valid, it's not applicable in this situation. Also, as I noted in my original post, yes, I typed MinDcraft -- by mistake. Clearly, I found the forum, so I know how it's spelled.
Two words, shut up. I'm sure you've got the name of something wrong before, and I bet nobody said you were lying because "nobody can get it wrong that many times". Seriously, either try to be helpful, or just don't bother posting.
Recently my daughter's 8th grade class debated the notion of chivalry, with the thrust of it being "is it still existent in Today". Clearly it is. Thanks Mr._Dice ...
Rude much? Think for am omnet, a parent gets a game, finds a forum for the game online, then doesnt know the name of the game? It seems like this is just for drama or is fake, however no need to be rude towrads me for pointing this out.
No it wasn't....someone pointed out the flaw and they just changed it >.>
Also its a thread, not a 'threat'
One last thing, you say my comment was worth no words...yet you made the comment towards me anyway,....please dont be a hypocrite
While I've been trying to keep this conversation civil, there have been more than a few suggestions that I'm a "troll" and/or a bad parent. I suspect that like me, both Mr._Dice and Toms...who seem to have taken an interest in this discussion and have been following along....were frustrated by these comments... and were responding accordingly. I won't fault them for that.
Additionally, for someone so intent on pointing out spelling errors, you might want consider investing in spell-check yourself.
I know its mean to do it for no reason like in this case, but there isn't much anyone can do because people have to be able to kick other people off of their world otherwise people would go onto world and break things and be abusive without anything to stop them, also maybe they just don't get along with your son because he annoyed them or they just don't like his personality (and he can always play single player), I know if i was playing minecraft and someone i didn't like joined i would kick them so i don't think its bullying, unless they're doing it just to annoy him or be mean for the fun of it which would be outrageous and definitely bullying.
Hey there,
Yes, thru the course of this thread I've learned about the necessity for the KICK function. I'm just frustrated by the potential for abuse of it, as I maintain it was in my son's case. Having said that, it seems to be the nature of the beast....and with the help of this discussion, I've gained a lot of information to allow him continue to play Minecraft but in a less demeaning environment.
Wow, thank you so much for your comprehensive and thoughtful comments. I agree, just reminding him that the kids were just being jerks, and sort of turning this into a Life Lesson is one of the important ways to handle this. I'm not sure that he'd want to go back into a room after just being kicked though (I know I wouldn't)...so I think he's just going to focus on playing with his "good" friends. (And yes, I failed to make that correction later in the post....he was NOT the initiator of the game.)
I was I suppose "bullied" on a PC server because of my name, I was banned because of my name and the reason was, "Charlie Sheen sucks (profanity)". In no way shape or form is my name relevant in my mind to that person. It's sheen from Jimmy Neutron. (Awesome show when I was a kid.). Unfortunately I had no way to report him because he was the owner and was a simpleton 10 year old.
Another poster did mention that a username can sometimes be used as an "excuse" for kicking someone out, but seeing as how your name is in no way offensive,that was pretty lousy. I'm sorry you had such an unfortunate experience.
Coming from a 15 year old, this doesn't really classify as bullying IMO. Your son wasn't wanted in the game, so he was kicked for whatever reason. I'm only 15, but as a high school student your son needs to learn that people won't like him. No one is liked by everyone, and in high school people WILL mess with each other. Doesn't matter who you are, even the "popular" kids will get messed with by people. It's good to be exposed now to what the world is really like. Not trying to tell you how to parent but more of advice from one teenager to an upcoming one.
More to the topic of the thread, I only read to page 5, but I guess I'll just say what has been repeated. I doubt the attempt was to really upset your son. They might have just not felt he was right in that game. Me and my buddies will kick people who are in our game because we are trying to do something with ourselves only. It isn't like that means your son isn't like.
I appreciate the perspective from "one teenager to an upcoming one"....though it's a bit disheartening. Thanks for chiming in.
I'd just like to say I've only read the first 5 or so pages, so somebody may have replied to this already, but I feel the need to point something out:
This is CRAZY. The kicking issue isn't really that much of an issue, and I'll bet the people hat kicked him didn't even think of it as bullying. However, when you notify the school, the kids that kicked him, even the ones that were just there and never actually kicked him, are all going to get disproportional punishments because they were "bullying" a kid. They were probably just going to relax and have fun, kicked your child because they're twelve year olds and think it will be worth a laugh, and now that your kid threw a fit because he has to press a button and reconnect that kid is going to get a suspension or referral for something he didn't even do it school.
Or, if the powers that be are smart, they'll laugh you out of the office. I'm not saying this to be a jerk. I'm saying this because you are freaking out over what is essentially a harmless joke some 12 year olds pulled. I'd get it if they called him names, or swore at him, or destroyed his building (although that's still not contact-school worthy). They did essentially nothing of consequence to him and you are WAY over thinking it.
First of all, I never said I was going to talk to anyone at the school...that was someone else's suggestion (at least they were trying to be helpful). Secondly and sadly, your "boys will be boys" rationalization is just the type of attitude that perpetuates bullying. Furthermore, your qualification of both my son's and my experience is inflammatory and erroneous.
Having said that, I recognize that people are going to believe what they want and say what they want to -- especially with the anonymity afforded by the internet. I'm just grateful that the majority of the responders on this thread have been much more thoughtful.
As for bullying, I'd say that's a bit of a stretch given the current situation. At least to me, it's not bullying until verbal/physical abuse comes to play. This is more just exclusion.
I know from personal experience what exclusion is like. It is terrible and people should not have to go through with it. But. It is, if anything, a good thing for your son. It separates his true friends from his 'fake' ones. However, they may just be joking around, children's humour can extend to that.
When you come to the conclusion that those people aren't worth your time, you suddenly feel much better. Personally I would say not to take it too hard because it is just a game and if they don't want him there then it's their decision.
Many sides on this - I myself play Minecraft and my now 13 year old got me started.
I have seen it all - the traps/griefing/kicking.....he plays with kids from school and for the most part there are no problems. One day I will see someone kill him/ or destroy what he built and he "bans" hi and then next week they are playing again.
Two of his friends I have selected to allow into my worlds - invite only is the best way.
If you allow friends of friends it leaves the door wide open.
Friends from school can be a good choice - however, as relationships can get heated on Xbox, it can carry over into school so please have him choose wisely.
Now that my son has PC Minecraft, he rarely plays with me .....Im fine with solo or one of his friends that I now trust.
If you would want him to request me or my son as a friend, pm me - we wont kick him and he can build from there.
Good luck!
Jennifer
No it wasn't....someone pointed out the flaw and they just changed it >.>
Also its a thread, not a 'threat'
One last thing, you say my comment was worth no words...yet you made the comment towards me anyway,....please dont be a hypocrite
More to the topic of the thread, I only read to page 5, but I guess I'll just say what has been repeated. I doubt the attempt was to really upset your son. They might have just not felt he was right in that game. Me and my buddies will kick people who are in our game because we are trying to do something with ourselves only. It isn't like that means your son isn't like.
To be honest, I don't understand your post. This situation did not involve servers...and I certainly haven't done anything irresponsible or legally-questionable. You might want to re-read the orignal post before you start pointing fingers.
Hi,
Yes, I realize now...thanks to this thread... that Mojang has no control over what happens in individual servers. I did not understand the relationships at the time of my initial post.
Again, it doesn't seem that he was doing anything "wrong" technically in the game, hence my agitation....but again, thanks to the bulk of the feedback I've been given, I have a much better handle on how to avoid this situation in the future....and if it should happen again, what to do instead.
Thanks for your input.
Huh, never thought of contacting Xbox; figured it was a feature specific to Minecraft, so that's where I started.
Nevertheless, as you say, there's no one who supervises the servers, they are all independent, and they're going to do what they're going to do. While my son's situation did not involve a server, I've been given some great direction and advice about how to proceed with the servers on the PC version. For the time being though, I'd like him to stick to playing with kids he knows (well, at least the NICE ones) and enjoy navigating the system with them .
Thanks for responding ....
Thank you for a very thoughtful post. Trying to keep it all in perspective is a lesson for me too.
Hi Jennifer,
Yup, this is a long thread for sure . It's my first post here ever, and it seems to have taken on a life of its own!
Thanks too for your input, from one mom to another. You're right about the nuances of adolescent boy relationships...and this whole process has been one big learning experience. But I'm glad I made the effort to sort some of this stuff out...as I've been given some great advice and support.
While I sincerely appreciate the offer to include him in your games, I think for the time being....as he's still getting his feet wet with the Xbox...I'll probably want him to just play with his friends. Having said that, it's gratifying to know there are people like yourself who are generous enough to extend a hand to him...and as time goes on, we might certainly take you up on your offer.
In the meantime, thanks so much ...
This is CRAZY. The kicking issue isn't really that much of an issue, and I'll bet the people hat kicked him didn't even think of it as bullying. However, when you notify the school, the kids that kicked him, even the ones that were just there and never actually kicked him, are all going to get disproportional punishments because they were "bullying" a kid. They were probably just going to relax and have fun, kicked your child because they're twelve year olds and think it will be worth a laugh, and now that your kid threw a fit because he has to press a button and reconnect that kid is going to get a suspension or referral for something he didn't even do it school.
Or, if the powers that be are smart, they'll laugh you out of the office. I'm not saying this to be a jerk. I'm saying this because you are freaking out over what is essentially a harmless joke some 12 year olds pulled. I'd get it if they called him names, or swore at him, or destroyed his building (although that's still not contact-school worthy). They did essentially nothing of consequence to him and you are WAY over thinking it.
While you're certainly welcome to interpret my post as you like, your response suggests you didn't read it in its entirety. In fact he wasn't involved with a server....so while you're comment is valid, it's not applicable in this situation. Also, as I noted in my original post, yes, I typed MinDcraft -- by mistake. Clearly, I found the forum, so I know how it's spelled.
Recently my daughter's 8th grade class debated the notion of chivalry, with the thrust of it being "is it still existent in Today". Clearly it is. Thanks Mr._Dice ...
Thanks for coming to my defense here Tom ....but I didn't misspell it on purpose, it was strictly by mistake ....
While I've been trying to keep this conversation civil, there have been more than a few suggestions that I'm a "troll" and/or a bad parent. I suspect that like me, both Mr._Dice and Toms...who seem to have taken an interest in this discussion and have been following along....were frustrated by these comments... and were responding accordingly. I won't fault them for that.
Additionally, for someone so intent on pointing out spelling errors, you might want consider investing in spell-check yourself.
Hey there,
Yes, thru the course of this thread I've learned about the necessity for the KICK function. I'm just frustrated by the potential for abuse of it, as I maintain it was in my son's case. Having said that, it seems to be the nature of the beast....and with the help of this discussion, I've gained a lot of information to allow him continue to play Minecraft but in a less demeaning environment.
Thank you for your input.
Wow, thank you so much for your comprehensive and thoughtful comments. I agree, just reminding him that the kids were just being jerks, and sort of turning this into a Life Lesson is one of the important ways to handle this. I'm not sure that he'd want to go back into a room after just being kicked though (I know I wouldn't)...so I think he's just going to focus on playing with his "good" friends. (And yes, I failed to make that correction later in the post....he was NOT the initiator of the game.)
Have a good evening .
Another poster did mention that a username can sometimes be used as an "excuse" for kicking someone out, but seeing as how your name is in no way offensive,that was pretty lousy. I'm sorry you had such an unfortunate experience.
He isn't, and I know.
I appreciate the perspective from "one teenager to an upcoming one"....though it's a bit disheartening. Thanks for chiming in.
First of all, I never said I was going to talk to anyone at the school...that was someone else's suggestion (at least they were trying to be helpful). Secondly and sadly, your "boys will be boys" rationalization is just the type of attitude that perpetuates bullying. Furthermore, your qualification of both my son's and my experience is inflammatory and erroneous.
Having said that, I recognize that people are going to believe what they want and say what they want to -- especially with the anonymity afforded by the internet. I'm just grateful that the majority of the responders on this thread have been much more thoughtful.