Before reading through the body of this post,please take a moment to reflect upon the thread description, and see that this is a sarcastic/satiric rant about how some people honestly think that they should tell others what is or is not fun. My actual opinion: It's a sandbox game, so anything and everything is valid, as long as you enjoy it. More info about the post can be found after the main body.
There's one thing that's really been pissing me off about this Minecraft "community": All of you are playing the game wrong. You people have obviously missed the whole point of Minecraft. I see people wasting so much time doing things that are so pointless and boring, and I wish I could just permanently ban you from the game because I don't like the way you play. Or better yet, take away the parts of the game that are allowing people to ruin it for themselves.
Take Creative mode, for example. It's is just for wimps who can't handle mobs and are too lazy to collect items for themselves. Minecraft updated away from Creative mode ages ago, and now you've made it devolve back to its alpha stages. At least play on Peaceful or something.
Actually, Peaceful is just as bad. If you're playing a combat game like Minecraft, you shouldn't be turning off the enemies anyway. Everyone should play on hard mode. It's so easy to build a base, all you need is a cobblestone box with some chests in it, no one needs any more than that.
Except that people who just make boxes make me want to tear my eyes out and throw them in a lava pool. Seriously? Just a box? You can't manage to pull anything better out of your ass? Maybe you need some practice in a building-oriented environment. Besides, this game isn't just about "surviving". If you want to just "survive", then dig a dirt hole and cry in it all night.
But you know, people who just avoid mobs like that every night should just skip them altogether. Your noobishness is ruining the game for everyone else. Just go turn them off and let the rest of us play our game. If you don't like creepers then mod them out or something; I don't care.
Wait, no, mods are stupid. All they do is change the game farther from how it's meant to be played. If you don't want to play Minecraft the way it was made, then you shouldn't play it at all. You're not allowed to have fun with a game that's been twisted so far from its roots.
Except the mods I use. I need my Texture packs, okay? I can't play the game if it looks like crap. The only thing you can build out of crap is a bigger pile of crap. I also need my minimap since I get lost otherwise, and single-player commands if I have an emergency. It's not my fault they're missing from the vanilla game, and if I want them, mods are my only way to get them right now. Forget things like the book/journal mod, those are just for roleplayers.
I don't like roleplaying, it's so dumb. I just like to come up with a little backstory for myself (you can't expect me to play without knowing who I am), or a name for my village, or in-game gods. I shouldn't be expected to play a game without some kind of immersion or motivation, it's not my fault I have to do it myself.
And lastly, Redstone. Everyone who uses redstone is just some big nerd who doesn't know how to have fun, and instead pours all their time into work. Redstone is pretty much useless anyway, what does it do, open doors? I can do that myself, thanks. I only use it for things that I can't do without it, like complicated mob traps, minecart stations, and stuff like that. If you don't know how to make things like that, what's the point? Like I said, redstone is SO useless.
Anyway, now that you all know exactly how the game should be played, you should use this post like a list of rules for playing Minecraft. I think I pretty much covered everything.
About the article:
Originally, this article had no context warning, or it had the context warning after the main body rather than at the top. That way, the reader would become more and more enraged and frustrated with the content, then, at the end, find out that it was all a fake and have a good laugh at themselves for getting so riled up. Due to many people becoming too offended by the satiric content to read through to the end, they would post angry comments before finding out the truth, and the previous thread was locked. After posting the thread elsewhere, receiving feedback, and some deliberation, I have been allowed to re-post the satire here. I appreciate that you've taken interest and read this far, and thank you for your comments below.
I honestly haven't really had the chance to try a mod, since whenever I get around to being interested, we get an update and the mod is quickly outdated. I guess that's why I haven't bothered to catch up with any in a while. I tried a minimap, and while I liked being able to see my co-ordinates all the time, I decided to get used to using a regular map and compass instead.
EDIT: I wonder how many people still won't get it's sarcastic?
I realllly hope people don't get upset over it this time. I'm more worried about people who agree with parts of the satire than I am worried about people who disagree and missed the point.
Overall, I was hoping to strike a chord where you think to yourself, "Hey, I've heard that line used before!" or "That's just like whatsisface used to go on about!" and then we can all laugh at how silly it is to get upset.
I won't be surprised if we acquire one or two guardian angel mods who lurk the thread.
Aye.
I think even worse than the people who take it seriously and get all pissy are the ones who will take it seriously and post about how much they agree.
I remember seeing a similar phenomenon on a Pokemon fan forum a while back; somebody posted a satirical rant about how the series had been ruined forever, and like 45% of the replies were people agreeing in earnest despite the post itself being a mockery.
How about those people who build stuff out of inferior materials? Wood, really? REALLY? *I dunno, you're better at this than I am*
See, what really got me thinking was that when I started the game, I was all about building. I could barely be bothered with Mining, and I'd always play on peaceful so there were no interruptions. I just could not comprehend why anyone would bother with the combat, or worse, PvP. I'd always pick a spot and stay put too, never exploring or branching out.
I have this complex where if I'm playing a game, I need to experience the full extent of the content. So, I decided to force myself to try these other styles of playing. And you know what? They're really fun. Sure, I prefer some to others, but I really enjoy friendly arena-style PvP. And now, I can hardly sit in one place for long before I get the urge to just see what's over that mountain over there.
I almost mourn the idea that some people refuse to try playing in someone else's shoes for a day. I even enjoy mining now, provided I've got a nice minecart system.
I think even worse than the people who take it seriously and get all pissy are the ones who will take it seriously and post about how much they agree.
I remember seeing a similar phenomenon on a :laugh.gif: Pokemon fan forum:laugh.gif: a while back; somebody posted a satirical rant about how the series had been ruined forever, and like 45% of the replies were people agreeing in earnest despite the post itself being a mockery.
I'll never understand why people abandoned their Pokemon... I still love mine. Some of my favorite games are Pokemon titles.
Anyway, I think that the length of the post alone is weeding out a lot of people who might have those attitudes. Call me crazy, but I've seen a correlation between conversation quality and number of people with a tl;dr mentality.
See, what really got me thinking was that when I started the game, I was all about building. I could barely be bothered with Mining, and I'd always play on peaceful so there were no interruptions. I just could not comprehend why anyone would bother with the combat, or worse, PvP. I'd always pick a spot and stay put too, never exploring or branching out.
I have this complex where if I'm playing a game, I need to experience the full extent of the content. So, I decided to force myself to try these other styles of playing. And you know what? They're really fun. Sure, I prefer some to others, but I really enjoy friendly arena-style PvP. And now, I can hardly sit in one place for long before I get the urge to just see what's over that mountain over there.
I almost mourn the idea that some people refuse to try playing in someone else's shoes for a day. I even enjoy mining now, provided I've got a nice minecart system.
Now, I've never personally been one for a lot of the more action-oriented playstyles (particularly PVP), but I agree with your point overall. I at least give a good hearty attempt at something before I disown it as not fun for me. (Keywords being "for me.")
Now, I've never personally been one for a lot of the more action-oriented playstyles (particularly PVP), but I agree with your point overall. I at least give a good hearty attempt at something before I disown it as not fun for me. (Keywords being "for me.")
Aye, I'm with you on that one; been a fan since Gen 1, and it's still going strong.
I haven't tried any faction PvP or anything since the splash potions and enchantments were released. I can only imagine the kinds of shenanigans that would arise from having a fire sword, or whatever potions you can make (I haven't tried them yet).
Now that I think about it, I spent very little time spelunking either. I think that's largely due to how much less there was to find underground during the early versions though. I can't wait to find my first stronghold... Though I don't know what I would do when faced with silverfish.
I enjoyed this! to thell you the truth, when you look on how you play after reading this... you laugh! and laugh hard! I, applaude you for the giggles. and for interacting with the other users too!!
I haven't tried any faction PvP or anything since the splash potions and enchantments were released. I can only imagine the kinds of shenanigans that would arise from having a fire sword, or whatever potions you can make (I haven't tried them yet).
Now that I think about it, I spent very little time spelunking either. I think that's largely due to how much less there was to find underground during the early versions though. I can't wait to find my first stronghold... Though I don't know what I would do when faced with silverfish.
Strongholds? I know you mentioned not having mods, but trust me on this much: GET THE STRONGHOLD FIX.
Seriously, the fun of strongholds is largely ruined when you find out the whole thing has been overtaken by mineshafts. I remember amounting to hours of frustration trying to renovate a stronghold gutted by the damn things; it's not fun.
*is 25 and still plays Pokemon* I don't care what anyone says, the games are pretty damn awesome.
But yeah, when I'm on a server, I like to go way out in the middle freaking nowhere, and just start building. The server I'm on right now, I got a nice little snow town going. And, further out, I found an ungenerated island, and now I'm going to build a sky town up in it.
For me, my problem is building; I find it really hard to think up of awesome house designs. Though I love the one I made just recently. I made a 1:1 ratio island in the shape of the Super Mushroom sprite from Mario (All-Stars, to be specific), and I made a house on it in the same shape. It's not as big as some of these placed people build, but it has a lounge, a kitchen, master bedroom, a bath, a library, storage room, and two smaller spare bedroom.
Then I made on Creative a smithy. In the shape of a Fire Flower. With a lava roof, and fireball fountains.
Redstone is another thing that I just... I have difficulty understand it; I just cannot seem to get things to work properly.
I enjoyed this! to thell you the truth, when you look on how you play after reading this... you laugh! and laugh hard! I, applaude you for the giggles. and for interacting with the other users too!!
I know right? I think I managed to make fun of every type of player in that post :laugh.gif:
Strongholds? I know you mentioned not having mods, but trust me on this much: GET THE STRONGHOLD FIX.
Seriously, the fun of strongholds is largely ruined when you find out the whole thing has been overtaken by mineshafts. I remember amounting to hours of frustration trying to renovate a stronghold gutted by the damn things; it's not fun.
Stronghold fix? I actually haven't heard of it. I guess I didn't look for a fix for something I'd never found =p What does it do, exactly?
P.S. It's not so much that I don't want mods, it's that I don't like getting used to them, then switching back to vanilla for an update. Or having to wait. When updates become more regular or rare, then I'll probably gain interest. I'm all for fixes, though.
But yeah, when I'm on a server, I like to go way out in the middle freaking nowhere, and just start building. The server I'm on right now, I got a nice little snow town going. And, further out, I found an ungenerated island, and now I'm going to build a sky town up in it.
I just realized that I haven't come across snow since it was re-implemented.
For me, my problem is building; I find it really hard to think up of awesome house designs. Though I love the one I made just recently. I made a 1:1 ratio island in the shape of the Super Mushroom sprite from Mario (All-Stars, to be specific), and I made a house on it in the same shape. It's not as big as some of these placed people build, but it has a lounge, a kitchen, master bedroom, a bath, a library, storage room, and two smaller spare bedroom.
Then I made on Creative a smithy. In the shape of a Fire Flower. With a lava roof, and fireball fountains.
Redstone is another thing that I just... I have difficulty understand it; I just cannot seem to get things to work properly.
You don't happen to like Mario games do you? Haha, I'm just kidding... That actually all sounds really badass.
I think Redstone is the hardest part of the game to mesh with a comfortable playstyle. I spent some time learning it, reading tutorials, etc., but I can rarely think of practical uses for it past airlock doors and minecarts.
*is 25 and still plays Pokemon* I don't care what anyone says, the games are pretty damn awesome.
But yeah, when I'm on a server, I like to go way out in the middle freaking nowhere, and just start building. The server I'm on right now, I got a nice little snow town going. And, further out, I found an ungenerated island, and now I'm going to build a sky town up in it.
For me, my problem is building; I find it really hard to think up of awesome house designs. Though I love the one I made just recently. I made a 1:1 ratio island in the shape of the Super Mushroom sprite from Mario (All-Stars, to be specific), and I made a house on it in the same shape. It's not as big as some of these placed people build, but it has a lounge, a kitchen, master bedroom, a bath, a library, storage room, and two smaller spare bedroom.
Then I made on Creative a smithy. In the shape of a Fire Flower. With a lava roof, and fireball fountains.
Redstone is another thing that I just... I have difficulty understand it; I just cannot seem to get things to work properly.
Aye, epic house designs are my biggest weak point, too; I'm great at building things, but generally they're the kind of things that serve no purpose other than looks.
A shining example being a correctly-proportioned recreation of the Monoliths from the Space Odyssey books.
Stronghold fix? I actually haven't heard of it. I guess I didn't look for a fix for something I'd never found =p What does it do, exactly?
P.S. It's not so much that I don't want mods, it's that I don't like getting used to them, then switching back to vanilla for an update. Or having to wait. When updates become more regular or rare, then I'll probably gain interest. I'm all for fixes, though.
Stronghold fix basically makes it so mineshafts and ravines won't spawn in the same chunks as strongholds, so you actually get a full stronghold rather than half a library and a couple of half-complete hallways that have been completely overtaken by mineshafts and ravines.
There's one thing that's really been pissing me off about this Minecraft "community": All of you are playing the game wrong. You people have obviously missed the whole point of Minecraft. I see people wasting so much time doing things that are so pointless and boring, and I wish I could just permanently ban you from the game because I don't like the way you play. Or better yet, take away the parts of the game that are allowing people to ruin it for themselves.
Take Creative mode, for example. It's is just for wimps who can't handle mobs and are too lazy to collect items for themselves. Minecraft updated away from Creative mode ages ago, and now you've made it devolve back to its alpha stages. At least play on Peaceful or something.
Actually, Peaceful is just as bad. If you're playing a combat game like Minecraft, you shouldn't be turning off the enemies anyway. Everyone should play on hard mode. It's so easy to build a base, all you need is a cobblestone box with some chests in it, no one needs any more than that.
Except that people who just make boxes make me want to tear my eyes out and throw them in a lava pool. Seriously? Just a box? You can't manage to pull anything better out of your ass? Maybe you need some practice in a building-oriented environment. Besides, this game isn't just about "surviving". If you want to just "survive", then dig a dirt hole and cry in it all night.
But you know, people who just avoid mobs like that every night should just skip them altogether. Your noobishness is ruining the game for everyone else. Just go turn them off and let the rest of us play our game. If you don't like creepers then mod them out or something; I don't care.
Wait, no, mods are stupid. All they do is change the game farther from how it's meant to be played. If you don't want to play Minecraft the way it was made, then you shouldn't play it at all. You're not allowed to have fun with a game that's been twisted so far from its roots.
Except the mods I use. I need my Texture packs, okay? I can't play the game if it looks like crap. The only thing you can build out of crap is a bigger pile of crap. I also need my minimap since I get lost otherwise, and single-player commands if I have an emergency. It's not my fault they're missing from the vanilla game, and if I want them, mods are my only way to get them right now. Forget things like the book/journal mod, those are just for roleplayers.
I don't like roleplaying, it's so dumb. I just like to come up with a little backstory for myself (you can't expect me to play without knowing who I am), or a name for my village, or in-game gods. I shouldn't be expected to play a game without some kind of immersion or motivation, it's not my fault I have to do it myself.
And lastly, Redstone. Everyone who uses redstone is just some big nerd who doesn't know how to have fun, and instead pours all their time into work. Redstone is pretty much useless anyway, what does it do, open doors? I can do that myself, thanks. I only use it for things that I can't do without it, like complicated mob traps, minecart stations, and stuff like that. If you don't know how to make things like that, what's the point? Like I said, redstone is SO useless.
Anyway, now that you all know exactly how the game should be played, you should use this post like a list of rules for playing Minecraft. I think I pretty much covered everything.
About the article:
It's so annoying though, when people tell you how to play an sandbox game - it's called sandbox for a reason.
Loved that line.
EDIT: I wonder how many people still won't get it's sarcastic?
It gets a result.
Because it's full of sand and boxes? =D
I honestly haven't really had the chance to try a mod, since whenever I get around to being interested, we get an update and the mod is quickly outdated. I guess that's why I haven't bothered to catch up with any in a while. I tried a minimap, and while I liked being able to see my co-ordinates all the time, I decided to get used to using a regular map and compass instead.
I realllly hope people don't get upset over it this time. I'm more worried about people who agree with parts of the satire than I am worried about people who disagree and missed the point.
Overall, I was hoping to strike a chord where you think to yourself, "Hey, I've heard that line used before!" or "That's just like whatsisface used to go on about!" and then we can all laugh at how silly it is to get upset.
@<anonymous misunderstanding>, might I humbly suggest that you read the OP again? Very carefully this time.
EDIT: Aw, it got ninja deleted
It gets a result.
I won't be surprised if we acquire one or two guardian angel mods who lurk the thread.
>.>
<.<
I'm onto you, mods!
/anyway
Back on topic.
How about those people who build stuff out of inferior materials? Wood, really? REALLY? *I dunno, you're better at this than I am*
It gets a result.
Aye.
I think even worse than the people who take it seriously and get all pissy are the ones who will take it seriously and post about how much they agree.
I remember seeing a similar phenomenon on a Pokemon fan forum a while back; somebody posted a satirical rant about how the series had been ruined forever, and like 45% of the replies were people agreeing in earnest despite the post itself being a mockery.
See, what really got me thinking was that when I started the game, I was all about building. I could barely be bothered with Mining, and I'd always play on peaceful so there were no interruptions. I just could not comprehend why anyone would bother with the combat, or worse, PvP. I'd always pick a spot and stay put too, never exploring or branching out.
I have this complex where if I'm playing a game, I need to experience the full extent of the content. So, I decided to force myself to try these other styles of playing. And you know what? They're really fun. Sure, I prefer some to others, but I really enjoy friendly arena-style PvP. And now, I can hardly sit in one place for long before I get the urge to just see what's over that mountain over there.
I almost mourn the idea that some people refuse to try playing in someone else's shoes for a day. I even enjoy mining now, provided I've got a nice minecart system.
I'll never understand why people abandoned their Pokemon... I still love mine. Some of my favorite games are Pokemon titles.
Anyway, I think that the length of the post alone is weeding out a lot of people who might have those attitudes. Call me crazy, but I've seen a correlation between conversation quality and number of people with a tl;dr mentality.
Now, I've never personally been one for a lot of the more action-oriented playstyles (particularly PVP), but I agree with your point overall. I at least give a good hearty attempt at something before I disown it as not fun for me. (Keywords being "for me.")
Aye, I'm with you on that one; been a fan since Gen 1, and it's still going strong.
I haven't tried any faction PvP or anything since the splash potions and enchantments were released. I can only imagine the kinds of shenanigans that would arise from having a fire sword, or whatever potions you can make (I haven't tried them yet).
Now that I think about it, I spent very little time spelunking either. I think that's largely due to how much less there was to find underground during the early versions though. I can't wait to find my first stronghold... Though I don't know what I would do when faced with silverfish.
Strongholds? I know you mentioned not having mods, but trust me on this much: GET THE STRONGHOLD FIX.
Seriously, the fun of strongholds is largely ruined when you find out the whole thing has been overtaken by mineshafts. I remember amounting to hours of frustration trying to renovate a stronghold gutted by the damn things; it's not fun.
But yeah, when I'm on a server, I like to go way out in the middle freaking nowhere, and just start building. The server I'm on right now, I got a nice little snow town going. And, further out, I found an ungenerated island, and now I'm going to build a sky town up in it.
For me, my problem is building; I find it really hard to think up of awesome house designs. Though I love the one I made just recently. I made a 1:1 ratio island in the shape of the Super Mushroom sprite from Mario (All-Stars, to be specific), and I made a house on it in the same shape. It's not as big as some of these placed people build, but it has a lounge, a kitchen, master bedroom, a bath, a library, storage room, and two smaller spare bedroom.
Then I made on Creative a smithy. In the shape of a Fire Flower. With a lava roof, and fireball fountains.
Redstone is another thing that I just... I have difficulty understand it; I just cannot seem to get things to work properly.
It gets a result.
I know right? I think I managed to make fun of every type of player in that post :laugh.gif:
Stronghold fix? I actually haven't heard of it. I guess I didn't look for a fix for something I'd never found =p What does it do, exactly?
P.S. It's not so much that I don't want mods, it's that I don't like getting used to them, then switching back to vanilla for an update. Or having to wait. When updates become more regular or rare, then I'll probably gain interest. I'm all for fixes, though.
I just realized that I haven't come across snow since it was re-implemented.
You don't happen to like Mario games do you? Haha, I'm just kidding... That actually all sounds really badass.
I think Redstone is the hardest part of the game to mesh with a comfortable playstyle. I spent some time learning it, reading tutorials, etc., but I can rarely think of practical uses for it past airlock doors and minecarts.
Aye, epic house designs are my biggest weak point, too; I'm great at building things, but generally they're the kind of things that serve no purpose other than looks.
A shining example being a correctly-proportioned recreation of the Monoliths from the Space Odyssey books.
Stronghold fix basically makes it so mineshafts and ravines won't spawn in the same chunks as strongholds, so you actually get a full stronghold rather than half a library and a couple of half-complete hallways that have been completely overtaken by mineshafts and ravines.