In the spirit of the "1000 ways to die" thread (which totally made me LOL). I offer the following:
"Funny conversations that could only happen in the Multiplayer Minecraft:"
(While helping my sister look for new caves in a TU7 world after failing to find anything while branch mining).
Me: Okay, we can build an xRay machine and find the caves that way.
Her: Say what? an xRay machine?
Me: Just go with me on this, it's a cool redstone contraption.
Her: Ohhhh kayyy....
Me: Right, so I'll just dig a hole like this and wire up this switch to this piston, put the TNT here and...
Me: Okay, I need you to jump down in that hole; I'm going to throw this switch and it's going to shove that block of TNT down on your head and then...
Her: Excuse me, what?!?
Me: No, No, it's a well-known glitch....
Her: Looks more like an automatic guillotine....
Me: Here, I built it so I could operate from inside, I'll go first to prove it's safe.
(I go inside and flip the switch - one TNT explosion later and a respawn).
Me: Okay so I got the wiring a bit wrong, but if I do this and this and then this....
Her: Screw you, Willis!
Me: Hey, [friend 1], have you heard from [friend 2]? It was minecraft all week with him, and then he disappeared.
Friend: You know, I think he said his wife was getting home sometime? He was talking about cleaning up and taking care of a bunch of things.
Me: That sounds like something out of a sitcom. Instead of mom coming home early to find a party in her house, [2]'s wife comes home to a dirty dusty house, and he's covered in dust because he's been in front of the xbox all week.
Friend: Yeah! She'd be lecturing him about responsibility and getting angry, and he'd be like "But look babe! I got you a diamond!" and she'd be all "Whaaa?" and he'd open his minecraft chest and show her all his gold and iron and diamonds and stuff.
Me: She'd only get angrier. He'd have to resort to romantic minecraft one-liners to win her heart back.
Friend: "Baby! Your love is more precious than diamond, it's brighter than glowstone!"
Me: "I'd tear the earth apart and dig up mountains for you!"
Friend: "I'd go through nether and high-water to get to you!"
Me: "Call me layer zero baby, I can make your bedrock!"
Friend: That's not romantic!
Me: No, but I bet I could pick up a minecraft nerd with that line.
Friend: "(Something about note blocks.")
Me: All right, let's make a jungle beat!."
Friend: (Silence)
Me: *Equips Note Block* "All right, jungle beat, prepare to got laid...down."
We both burst out laughing at my almost stupid slip-up. o.O
Me: Hey i got a lot of TNT at my house lets come back and blow up this building.
Friend: Ok are you sure? Sounds like a bad idea?
Me: No it'll be fun dude yolo.
Teacher: (oh my, they are going to blow up this school)
---------
Next day at school
Principle: Are you trying to blow up this school?
Me: No... ?
Friend: We were playing minecraft duh
(First time showing my wife how to play)
Wife: What is that?
Me: That's a stone pickaxe used for mining with.
Wife: Not that. That thing.
Me: What thing are you looking at?
Wife: That green thing moving around on your screen?
(I look up just in time to see the creeper detonate in front of me)
Wife: I don't think I like this game...
Me: Hey, you about done with the sorting?
Cousin: Yea, yea... After this, we can head back down and continue working on the tunnel system.
Me: Sweet! And to top that, I'm just about done with the roof of the house.
Cousin: So after all this time you're finally about finished with the house ???
Me: ...Shut up.
Cousin: Lol, I'm just saying... You've spent more time building that house and not so much of mining for resources.
Me: Hey, do you want to continue living in that hole in the ground? No??? Yea, I didn't think so... Besides, I can practice building this way without constantly in need of resource gathering. You enjoy mining more than I do.
Cousin: Yea..., that is true.
* Soon after this bit of conversation, a thunderstorm appeared on the server... *
Cousin: Hey, is it thundering our there???
Me: Yea, just came out of nowhere.
Cousin: (See's me out of the Iron Door window) Hey, you better get down from there!
Me: I know, I know.... Just need to finish cleaning up the roof right quick.
Cousin: Alright then...
* A moment later, that was when a bolt of lightning came crashing down on the roof... *
Me: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!?!?
Cousin: Huh, what's happening up there?
Me: (Trying to get my bearings) I-I don't know! I was just getting the last wooden stair, when all of a sudden... Hold on a second, where is my stuff!?
* At this point, I was for a moment trying to figure out what had happen when... *
Me: Oh my gosh... OH MY GOSH!?
Cousin: What???
Me: I died!?
Cousin: You did???
Me: Yes, I was struck by lightning!?
Me: Oh no...
Cousin: ???
Me: No..., NO,NO,NO,NO,NO,NO!!!
* At this point, I was freaking out believeing the roof was on fire... *
I play splitscreen with my kids a lot (both of whom are under the age of 12). They generally stay above ground and dig in the dirt (6 year old son) or build "tree houses" (9 year old daughter). I'm trying to use the game as a teaching tool for them (resource management, planning, etc.)
Son: Daddy, I need a sword; can you give me yours?
Me: Why, we're on peaceful mode, there's nothing to kill?
Son: But I need one!
Me: No, make your own.
Son: But I don't have any diamonds.
Me: Then you need to make some stone and iron pickaxes and go mining.
Son: That's too much work, can't you just give me yours?
Me: No, the name of the game is not Giftcraft it's MINEcraft....
Daughter: (After hearing previous conversation) Daddy, when I punch the leaves they keep breaking without dropping a item.
Me: That's normal behavior, you need shears to mine leaves and grass.
Daughter: Okay, how do I make shears?
Me: You need some iron ingots.
Daughter: I don't have any, can you give me some?
Me: No, go find them yourself.
Daughter: But, I don't have any pickaxes.
Me: (facepalm) Didn't you hear what I just told your brother?
Daughter: But I just want to breed baby animals and build tree houses.
Me: Well, the name of the game isn't Farmcraft it's MINEcraft.
Both: [big pause].... We're bored, we want to play on the super-flat world on creative mode....
Me: Nope!
Both: Why not?
Me: Because, the name of the game is not yourcraft, it's MineCraft!
I play splitscreen with my kids a lot (both of whom are under the age of 12). They generally stay above ground and dig in the dirt (6 year old son) or build "tree houses" (9 year old daughter). I'm trying to use the game as a teaching tool for them (resource management, planning, etc.)
This is what happens on a regular basis with me and my friend when we play...
Maddy- I'm going to go explore i'll be back!
Me- Its dark out right now, what are you thinking?! Monsters will be outside. Just go to bed.
Maddy- I don't care, im not scared. *She walks downstairs*
Me-.... *Hears her scream* What happened!!!??? MADDY?!
Maddy- I was getting some stuff and when I turned around to go outside from the front door, a cows face was there.
Me- Ok I told you! Well not really, but you said your weren't scared.
Maddy- OF MONSTERS!
Me- But yet you get scared by a COW'S FACE?!
Maddy- Well it wasn't there before, and it suddenly appeared and its face was right there through the door! I'm still going out though...
Me- Ok fine, see if I care if you die because of a creeper!
Maddy- I'm not scared of creepers, I can kill them easily if I see them! Also I won't die!
Me- Uh-huh...
*a moment later*
Maddy- AAAAAAGH OH MY GOD HELP!!!! *She is screaming and I hear explosions*
Me- MADDY WHAT IS GOING ON?!?! WHAT THE HECK!!!?
Maddy- CREEPERS EVERYWHERE, OH MY GOD OH MY GOD! THEY ARE ALL BLOWING UP AND CHASING ME!!!!
* She is still near the house, so the whole first level of the house is blowing up and creepers are chasing her around still*
* Finally it all stops*
Me-..... I FRICKEN TOLD YOU!!! NOW YOU BLEW UP THE WHOLE HOUSE!!!
Maddy- WELL SORRY!
Me- WELL! THEN LISTEN TO ME! I KNEW YOU WOULD DO SOMETHING BAD LIKE ALWAYS! ITS JUST A THING WITH YOU MADDY! NOW YOU KNOW WHY I HATE YOU GOING OUTSIDE AT NIGHT! You...are helping me....... patch this house back up and get everything back....!
Maddy- Fine...
*we patch it all up, through the whole day (Big house) and finally get done. Its now getting dark*
Me- Now go to sleep and stay inside this time!
Maddy- Noooo...
Me- Fine but blow up the house again and your dead!
Maddy- *Leaves to go outside*
Me- Wait! Don't just ru-
*I hear explosion and now see a big hole in the house again*
Maddy- Uh....
Me- MADDY! SERIOUSLY! DID YOU NOT EVEN LEARN ANYTHING ABOUT LAST TIME!!!??? I have said.... many, many, many times before not to just run outside without looking first!
Maddy- well sorry! you know im not a good listener!
Me- *Sigh* Tell me about it... T_T
So ya, stuff like this happens to me and my friend all the time when playing...
"Funny conversations that could only happen in the Multiplayer Minecraft:"
(While helping my sister look for new caves in a TU7 world after failing to find anything while branch mining).
Me: Okay, we can build an xRay machine and find the caves that way.
Her: Say what? an xRay machine?
Me: Just go with me on this, it's a cool redstone contraption.
Her: Ohhhh kayyy....
Me: Right, so I'll just dig a hole like this and wire up this switch to this piston, put the TNT here and...
Me: Okay, I need you to jump down in that hole; I'm going to throw this switch and it's going to shove that block of TNT down on your head and then...
Her: Excuse me, what?!?
Me: No, No, it's a well-known glitch....
Her: Looks more like an automatic guillotine....
Me: Here, I built it so I could operate from inside, I'll go first to prove it's safe.
(I go inside and flip the switch - one TNT explosion later and a respawn).
Me: Okay so I got the wiring a bit wrong, but if I do this and this and then this....
Her: Screw you, Willis!
Tmajeor: (silence)........
Me: Nah, I'm not hungry. Ate a snack a little while ago...
My wife: Not you! YOU! (pointing to the screen)
Me: Oh....
Me: Move man!.... I'm inside of you!
TMaejor: (Silence) .......... (giggles)
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Retired StaffFriend: You know, I think he said his wife was getting home sometime? He was talking about cleaning up and taking care of a bunch of things.
Me: That sounds like something out of a sitcom. Instead of mom coming home early to find a party in her house, [2]'s wife comes home to a dirty dusty house, and he's covered in dust because he's been in front of the xbox all week.
Friend: Yeah! She'd be lecturing him about responsibility and getting angry, and he'd be like "But look babe! I got you a diamond!" and she'd be all "Whaaa?" and he'd open his minecraft chest and show her all his gold and iron and diamonds and stuff.
Me: She'd only get angrier. He'd have to resort to romantic minecraft one-liners to win her heart back.
Friend: "Baby! Your love is more precious than diamond, it's brighter than glowstone!"
Me: "I'd tear the earth apart and dig up mountains for you!"
Friend: "I'd go through nether and high-water to get to you!"
Me: "Call me layer zero baby, I can make your bedrock!"
Friend: That's not romantic!
Me: No, but I bet I could pick up a minecraft nerd with that line.
Keep yourself up to date with the Minecraft Forum rules!
between you and Ent I'm beginning to see a pattern here :-)
The following is only marginally paraphrased
Player: I'm gonna hit you with my dirt!
Me: Will you leave me alone, I'm trying to get some wood.
Player 1 (setting down IRL fork and opening chest): Hmmm... I don't have any more slime balls. Do you have some more slime balls, I could...
Player 2 (suddenly looking offended): Those were MEATBALLS!
------
Overheard by people not familiar with Minecraft:
Player 1: I'm getting hungry. Have you got anything to eat.
Player 2: Just some rotten flesh.
Me: All right, let's make a jungle beat!."
Friend: (Silence)
Me: *Equips Note Block* "All right, jungle beat, prepare to got laid...down."
We both burst out laughing at my almost stupid slip-up. o.O
Stay fluffy~
Friend: Ok are you sure? Sounds like a bad idea?
Me: No it'll be fun dude yolo.
Teacher: (oh my, they are going to blow up this school)
---------
Next day at school
Principle: Are you trying to blow up this school?
Me: No... ?
Friend: We were playing minecraft duh
Wife: What is that?
Me: That's a stone pickaxe used for mining with.
Wife: Not that. That thing.
Me: What thing are you looking at?
Wife: That green thing moving around on your screen?
(I look up just in time to see the creeper detonate in front of me)
Wife: I don't think I like this game...
Cousin: Yea, yea... After this, we can head back down and continue working on the tunnel system.
Me: Sweet! And to top that, I'm just about done with the roof of the house.
Cousin: So after all this time you're finally about finished with the house ???
Me: ...Shut up.
Cousin: Lol, I'm just saying... You've spent more time building that house and not so much of mining for resources.
Me: Hey, do you want to continue living in that hole in the ground? No??? Yea, I didn't think so... Besides, I can practice building this way without constantly in need of resource gathering. You enjoy mining more than I do.
Cousin: Yea..., that is true.
* Soon after this bit of conversation, a thunderstorm appeared on the server... *
Cousin: Hey, is it thundering our there???
Me: Yea, just came out of nowhere.
Cousin: (See's me out of the Iron Door window) Hey, you better get down from there!
Me: I know, I know.... Just need to finish cleaning up the roof right quick.
Cousin: Alright then...
* A moment later, that was when a bolt of lightning came crashing down on the roof... *
Me: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!?!?
Cousin: Huh, what's happening up there?
Me: (Trying to get my bearings) I-I don't know! I was just getting the last wooden stair, when all of a sudden... Hold on a second, where is my stuff!?
* At this point, I was for a moment trying to figure out what had happen when... *
Me: Oh my gosh... OH MY GOSH!?
Cousin: What???
Me: I died!?
Cousin: You did???
Me: Yes, I was struck by lightning!?
Me: Oh no...
Cousin: ???
Me: No..., NO,NO,NO,NO,NO,NO!!!
* At this point, I was freaking out believeing the roof was on fire... *
Son: Daddy, I need a sword; can you give me yours?
Me: Why, we're on peaceful mode, there's nothing to kill?
Son: But I need one!
Me: No, make your own.
Son: But I don't have any diamonds.
Me: Then you need to make some stone and iron pickaxes and go mining.
Son: That's too much work, can't you just give me yours?
Me: No, the name of the game is not Giftcraft it's MINEcraft....
Daughter: (After hearing previous conversation) Daddy, when I punch the leaves they keep breaking without dropping a item.
Me: That's normal behavior, you need shears to mine leaves and grass.
Daughter: Okay, how do I make shears?
Me: You need some iron ingots.
Daughter: I don't have any, can you give me some?
Me: No, go find them yourself.
Daughter: But, I don't have any pickaxes.
Me: (facepalm) Didn't you hear what I just told your brother?
Daughter: But I just want to breed baby animals and build tree houses.
Me: Well, the name of the game isn't Farmcraft it's MINEcraft.
Both: [big pause].... We're bored, we want to play on the super-flat world on creative mode....
Me: Nope!
Both: Why not?
Me: Because, the name of the game is not yourcraft, it's MineCraft!
I enjoyed that little story. Pretty funny, Lol.
Maddy- I'm going to go explore i'll be back!
Me- Its dark out right now, what are you thinking?! Monsters will be outside. Just go to bed.
Maddy- I don't care, im not scared. *She walks downstairs*
Me-.... *Hears her scream* What happened!!!??? MADDY?!
Maddy- I was getting some stuff and when I turned around to go outside from the front door, a cows face was there.
Me- Ok I told you! Well not really, but you said your weren't scared.
Maddy- OF MONSTERS!
Me- But yet you get scared by a COW'S FACE?!
Maddy- Well it wasn't there before, and it suddenly appeared and its face was right there through the door! I'm still going out though...
Me- Ok fine, see if I care if you die because of a creeper!
Maddy- I'm not scared of creepers, I can kill them easily if I see them! Also I won't die!
Me- Uh-huh...
*a moment later*
Maddy- AAAAAAGH OH MY GOD HELP!!!! *She is screaming and I hear explosions*
Me- MADDY WHAT IS GOING ON?!?! WHAT THE HECK!!!?
Maddy- CREEPERS EVERYWHERE, OH MY GOD OH MY GOD! THEY ARE ALL BLOWING UP AND CHASING ME!!!!
* She is still near the house, so the whole first level of the house is blowing up and creepers are chasing her around still*
* Finally it all stops*
Me-..... I FRICKEN TOLD YOU!!! NOW YOU BLEW UP THE WHOLE HOUSE!!!
Maddy- WELL SORRY!
Me- WELL! THEN LISTEN TO ME! I KNEW YOU WOULD DO SOMETHING BAD LIKE ALWAYS! ITS JUST A THING WITH YOU MADDY! NOW YOU KNOW WHY I HATE YOU GOING OUTSIDE AT NIGHT! You...are helping me....... patch this house back up and get everything back....!
Maddy- Fine...
*we patch it all up, through the whole day (Big house) and finally get done. Its now getting dark*
Me- Now go to sleep and stay inside this time!
Maddy- Noooo...
Me- Fine but blow up the house again and your dead!
Maddy- *Leaves to go outside*
Me- Wait! Don't just ru-
*I hear explosion and now see a big hole in the house again*
Maddy- Uh....
Me- MADDY! SERIOUSLY! DID YOU NOT EVEN LEARN ANYTHING ABOUT LAST TIME!!!??? I have said.... many, many, many times before not to just run outside without looking first!
Maddy- well sorry! you know im not a good listener!
Me- *Sigh* Tell me about it... T_T
So ya, stuff like this happens to me and my friend all the time when playing...