This is chapter 2 of my minecraft world! If you haven't it is recommended that you read chapter 1! Link to chapter 1
Chapter 2: Nomad life
As I ran in the night in terror I began to miss home, as I never wanted to be in this weird world where the dead is alive and want to eat me, I always wanted to be in a peaceful world. I decided to travel the land in search of a nice place to settle….. 1 month later…….. I found the perfect spot! I searched mountains, lakes, plains but I never found this spot……. THE OCEAN!!!!! It was beautiful in the scenery and was really perfect…. I set up shop in the by the ocean, I found that when you hit the green-thingies they drop grey powder! I had some sand so I packed the sand with the grey powder and was surprised to see TNT!!! I decided to name the grey stuff gunpowder because It could make TNT… I used some of this TNT to make monster traps and protect my home… That wasn’t such a good idea… It protected my home alright but also blew a hole in my house… I had to set out again… This happened a lot in my life as 2 years go by I have made about a camp every day and eventually by 3 years I decide to make temporary camps not permanent camps until I get to the perfect spot, the really perfect spot… As I explore my new world I put down torches to make sure I don’t go in circles. After about 5 years from the accident I found the really perfect spot……. A mountain…. I came upon this mountain and found this weird house thing like in the middle of the mountain….. It was mostly blown up and lava was all over it… I found some paper in the chests in the house and decided to make a journal…. I also made a calendar to mark my time and dates….. As I look at my new found home I notice that there are weird black things with purple glass-like things in it around the mountain…. I then start to see lots of Redstone and traps that have already done its job… I go into the further sections of the house to find bodies of zombies and monsters….. It looked like a massacre! I decide to look around a little more and then….. I found…… A leg, a real human leg! I realize that I could be here with another person. I explore further and meet some mine tracks…. It seems that whoever lived here rushed out in a hurry… I then use the tracks to travel out of this area….
Sure, there is definitely room for improvement, but I see potential.
First of all, good job on the spelling. No spelling mistakes = good starting point.
However, I would suggest that you limit the amount of eclipses (...) that you put in your story. Either start a new paragraph, or insert a sentence that links your two points together.
Second point, paragraphs. Split up your writing please. No one really wants to stare at a wall of text.
Overall, it seems like a decent story. Try describing the places in more detail, and don't skip through time that quickly. It's disorienting for the reader.
Chapter 2: Nomad life
As I ran in the night in terror I began to miss home, as I never wanted to be in this weird world where the dead is alive and want to eat me, I always wanted to be in a peaceful world. I decided to travel the land in search of a nice place to settle….. 1 month later…….. I found the perfect spot! I searched mountains, lakes, plains but I never found this spot……. THE OCEAN!!!!! It was beautiful in the scenery and was really perfect…. I set up shop in the by the ocean, I found that when you hit the green-thingies they drop grey powder! I had some sand so I packed the sand with the grey powder and was surprised to see TNT!!! I decided to name the grey stuff gunpowder because It could make TNT… I used some of this TNT to make monster traps and protect my home… That wasn’t such a good idea… It protected my home alright but also blew a hole in my house… I had to set out again… This happened a lot in my life as 2 years go by I have made about a camp every day and eventually by 3 years I decide to make temporary camps not permanent camps until I get to the perfect spot, the really perfect spot… As I explore my new world I put down torches to make sure I don’t go in circles. After about 5 years from the accident I found the really perfect spot……. A mountain…. I came upon this mountain and found this weird house thing like in the middle of the mountain….. It was mostly blown up and lava was all over it… I found some paper in the chests in the house and decided to make a journal…. I also made a calendar to mark my time and dates….. As I look at my new found home I notice that there are weird black things with purple glass-like things in it around the mountain…. I then start to see lots of Redstone and traps that have already done its job… I go into the further sections of the house to find bodies of zombies and monsters….. It looked like a massacre! I decide to look around a little more and then….. I found…… A leg, a real human leg! I realize that I could be here with another person. I explore further and meet some mine tracks…. It seems that whoever lived here rushed out in a hurry… I then use the tracks to travel out of this area….
Link to journal
I wouldn't go that far...
Sure, there is definitely room for improvement, but I see potential.
First of all, good job on the spelling. No spelling mistakes = good starting point.
However, I would suggest that you limit the amount of eclipses (...) that you put in your story. Either start a new paragraph, or insert a sentence that links your two points together.
Second point, paragraphs. Split up your writing please. No one really wants to stare at a wall of text.
Overall, it seems like a decent story. Try describing the places in more detail, and don't skip through time that quickly. It's disorienting for the reader.