[ *Pokemon start battle music* "A wild girl appears!" ]
Men, about one in a million chance this is how your love-life plays out. The members of the opposite sex are complicated, intricate beings with minds and hearts difficult for us to understand. The road to love is a long one with 16-zillion steps (plus or minus a couple thousand), so I can't cover them all, but we'll talk on starting to get close.
Believe it or not, the best set of person to be with is a friend (or soon-to-be former friend) you've had for a reasonable amount of time (about a year or at least half, otherwise attack falls sharply). And don't worry about waiting for the perfect one, because there's no such thing. You'll find something to hate about everybody. With this now in mind, I reveal to you general starting strategies for 3 sets of girls (alter as needed, there's friggin nearly 4 billion females in the world, there's bound to be differences).
SET 1: Girly Girl (Feminus Femalis)
This set is generally found in small friend groups (3-4, sometimes 5) of all girls, so it may seem difficult for a guy to permeate this barrier. The solution: don't hide your feminine side. Not to say go full-blown "Barbie? Friggin SWEET." Rather, just embrace your natural femininity. It exists in us all. The Feminus Femalis is generally more accepting to a male who can put up with nail polishing and/or hair doing (it's only temporary). After integration, keep hold your femininity but activate your trap card by beginning to slowly assert yourself as the sensitive/wise member of the group, one who the others will likely come to for advice. Be prepared to share some of your own experiences if necessary, as most of what they come to you for will be boy-related.
SET 2: Typical / "I-wear-T-shirts" Girl (Feminus Regularis)
This set is often found in medium-sized groups (around 5-10) where the majority is male, but there is at least one other female. Generally they like to talk to everyone in the group, at pretty much any time. After integration, it is assumed you have attained some form of contact for every party in the group (phone number, Snapchat or at least Skype will be effective). Initiate one-on-one conversation with the Feminus Regularis fairly often, but try to avoid more than one session on the same day. You don't have to talk about anything important, random stuff will do to start and work EXTREMELY slowly towards more personal matters. One of the most effective opening plays is the Never-Have-I-Ever card, which can be reused a good amount of times before discarding.
SET 3: Boyish Girl / Tomboy (Feminus Indecicivus)
This set is identified most commonly by being the only girl in a group of guys (of any size). You are bound to find something she likes that you like, be it skateboarding, video games, dubstep, or whatever else you hipsters do nowadays. Don't ask questions of interests prematurely. Follow a similar strategy as for set 2, but only work your way to interests, arrange activities based on those interests (for the whole group or a portion of, not the two of you alone) and leave the personal matters for there.
So that was it. As a DISCLAIMER:
None of the information in this document has been tested in the real world by the writer(s) or willing test subjects, and it is mostly intended to be entertaining and/or thought-provoking. If one uses any of the information in this document in one's own life and experiences negative repercussions, we are not liable for any loss or damages which may have been caused. If one use any of the information in this document in one's own life to successful effect, please note that they are mad lucky, and it is not recommended for them to relay this information to friends/relatives.
I plan on doing more of these in the future if you guys like them.
No, I don't like them.
I find it rather offensive
That people can stand to arbitrarily
Organize people into groups.
No one is a stereotype.
It encourages the people
Who don't fit to hate themselves
And to defect.
Unless, of course, your writing
Was an example of satire, in which case
You have my greatest respect.
What does this have to do with literature? Oh, and you forgot the gamer girls.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
-The Lovely and Magestic RainbowGirl
Whatever I just said, I didn't mean any offense. Unless we're fighting, in which case I probably did.
If I said something was a joke when it didn't seem like one, I'm making an excuse to avoid an argument I know is coming. Instead of telling me how not funny I am and how it didn't seem like a joke at all, just go along with it. Because flame wars suck and nobody wants to be a part of one.
Roughly 95% of Minecraft players hate Villagers and would be very happy if they were removed. If you are one of the 5% who actually like villagers, copy this into your signature.-RainbowGirl
The damn image won't work-screw my iPad!-but you should click this link. Now. Or you'll regret it...because this suggestion is epic.
This set can often be found hiding in the darkest corner of the room until whatever social event they have been forced to attend has concluded, upon which Feminus Anxietus will immediately return to its home. It is quite elusive, and it is recommended you look for it during mandatory social meetings such as school or work. Be aware that all attempts at integration in Feminus Anxietus' circle have failed. Strategies have included leaning on her or putting an arm around her without warning, draping their body over her book while she's reading, and violently and incessantly poking her when she ignores the pursuant. Researchers are still on the case trying to figure out why these strategies have failed.
This set is unique in that is enjoys a wide variety of things that include bits from all 3 default groups, which is a concept unheard of in today's society. Feminus Anxietus' interests span from violent video games to adorable puppies. The best strategy to conquering Feminus Anxietus, as well as the many other Feminus Mutatuses, is to not be a
[ *Pokemon start battle music* "A wild girl appears!" ]
Men, about one in a million chance this is how your love-life plays out. The members of the opposite sex are complicated, intricate beings with minds and hearts difficult for us to understand. The road to love is a long one with 16-zillion steps (plus or minus a couple thousand), so I can't cover them all, but we'll talk on starting to get close.
Believe it or not, the best set of person to be with is a friend (or soon-to-be former friend) you've had for a reasonable amount of time (about a year or at least half, otherwise attack falls sharply). And don't worry about waiting for the perfect one, because there's no such thing. You'll find something to hate about everybody. With this now in mind, I reveal to you general starting strategies for 3 sets of girls (alter as needed, there's friggin nearly 4 billion females in the world, there's bound to be differences).
SET 1: Girly Girl (Feminus Femalis)
This set is generally found in small friend groups (3-4, sometimes 5) of all girls, so it may seem difficult for a guy to permeate this barrier. The solution: don't hide your feminine side. Not to say go full-blown "Barbie? Friggin SWEET." Rather, just embrace your natural femininity. It exists in us all. The Feminus Femalis is generally more accepting to a male who can put up with nail polishing and/or hair doing (it's only temporary). After integration, keep hold your femininity but activate your trap card by beginning to slowly assert yourself as the sensitive/wise member of the group, one who the others will likely come to for advice. Be prepared to share some of your own experiences if necessary, as most of what they come to you for will be boy-related.
SET 2: Typical / "I-wear-T-shirts" Girl (Feminus Regularis)
This set is often found in medium-sized groups (around 5-10) where the majority is male, but there is at least one other female. Generally they like to talk to everyone in the group, at pretty much any time. After integration, it is assumed you have attained some form of contact for every party in the group (phone number, Snapchat or at least Skype will be effective). Initiate one-on-one conversation with the Feminus Regularis fairly often, but try to avoid more than one session on the same day. You don't have to talk about anything important, random stuff will do to start and work EXTREMELY slowly towards more personal matters. One of the most effective opening plays is the Never-Have-I-Ever card, which can be reused a good amount of times before discarding.
SET 3: Boyish Girl / Tomboy (Feminus Indecicivus)
This set is identified most commonly by being the only girl in a group of guys (of any size). You are bound to find something she likes that you like, be it skateboarding, video games, dubstep, or whatever else you hipsters do nowadays. Don't ask questions of interests prematurely. Follow a similar strategy as for set 2, but only work your way to interests, arrange activities based on those interests (for the whole group or a portion of, not the two of you alone) and leave the personal matters for there.
So that was it. As a DISCLAIMER:
I plan on doing more of these in the future if you guys like them.
Here's a story I'm writing. So yeah.
Silent Raven
No, I don't like them.
I find it rather offensive
That people can stand to arbitrarily
Organize people into groups.
No one is a stereotype.
It encourages the people
Who don't fit to hate themselves
And to defect.
Unless, of course, your writing
Was an example of satire, in which case
You have my greatest respect.
Putting the CENDENT back in transcendent!
"I-wear-T-shirts" Girls
How very specific. What do you think of the "I-have-ten-fingers" Girls?
What does this have to do with literature? Oh, and you forgot the gamer girls.
-The Lovely and Magestic RainbowGirl
Whatever I just said, I didn't mean any offense. Unless we're fighting, in which case I probably did.
If I said something was a joke when it didn't seem like one, I'm making an excuse to avoid an argument I know is coming. Instead of telling me how not funny I am and how it didn't seem like a joke at all, just go along with it. Because flame wars suck and nobody wants to be a part of one.
Roughly 95% of Minecraft players hate Villagers and would be very happy if they were removed. If you are one of the 5% who actually like villagers, copy this into your signature.-RainbowGirl
The damn image won't work-screw my iPad!-but you should click this link. Now. Or you'll regret it...because this suggestion is epic.
Set 4: Toodles (Feminus Anxietus)
This set can often be found hiding in the darkest corner of the room until whatever social event they have been forced to attend has concluded, upon which Feminus Anxietus will immediately return to its home. It is quite elusive, and it is recommended you look for it during mandatory social meetings such as school or work. Be aware that all attempts at integration in Feminus Anxietus' circle have failed. Strategies have included leaning on her or putting an arm around her without warning, draping their body over her book while she's reading, and violently and incessantly poking her when she ignores the pursuant. Researchers are still on the case trying to figure out why these strategies have failed.
This set is unique in that is enjoys a wide variety of things that include bits from all 3 default groups, which is a concept unheard of in today's society. Feminus Anxietus' interests span from violent video games to adorable puppies. The best strategy to conquering Feminus Anxietus, as well as the many other Feminus Mutatuses, is to not be a
I think you may have offended some people in the Netherlands...
Putting the CENDENT back in transcendent!
Well I can't say the real word without getting banned so YGS will have to do. xD