Dear notch, I started using computers in the 60's and as such I'm much more comfortable running programs written in languages that existed at that time, FORTRAN would be ideal, but I understand if you feel you need to use LISP or COBOL; I'm not that picky. I still run redhat 3 on an old macbook from before they swapped over to i386. As such, it's getting increasingly hard to find updates to things like flash and java.
Well done sir.
Minecraft in COBOL would be awesome.
I hope you're smart enough to realise almost all of the "stupid community" realised the poster's real intentions and laughed at its humour.
You, on the other hand, was being too stupid to notice.