I'm currently writing a book slightly based on The Elder Scrolls. I need feed back. Rate this piece please.
I found myself in a dark and desolate forest. It was raining, as it had been for weeks. I was hiding, my sword safe at my side. This hollow tree was a good shelter, but with the added weight of the water falling down on it, it wouldnt last long.The tear in my soul was still very large, but the winds of time were doing a good job slowly repairing the damage that Manic's spells had done. I still felt the pain from his cuts.
" How did I end up like this?" I thought to myself.
" Do you even have to ask?" My mind roared with the dark warped voice of the, now wide awake, Flameswarn. The Sword was finaly willing to talk to me. I was shocked at the head ache its voice came with.
"Well, I didnt exactly sign up for this."
"I picked your world at random, I could have picked anyone from your 'Earth' I wanted to, but ou showed me that you could find me, and handle my power. I didnt tell you to do all of this, I simply sent you to my world. The world that needed you the most. Your choices guided you to me, and guided us both to where we are right now. I never had any influance."
"So, you're telling me, we both ended up in this ordeal because you thought I could fight Manic, the most diabolical Necromancer that ever lived, on my own? You didnt think I could have used a little help along the way?"
"Your soul was true, you knew what you were doing. Me talking to you before now would only have hinderd you. You've kept us alive this long, what will cause you to give up now?"
"I never said that I was giving up."
"Good."
The Winds of Time had done their job well, and my soul was completly healed. The cuts on my arms and hand were almost fully healed. I removed the mystic hour glass from my cheast and tucked it away in my pack.
"Time to go, Have you finished repairing your blade?" I was shocked at how naturaly it felt to talk to flameswarn.
"I'm just about finished, there are still a few chips, but that I'll fix on the way to Frastcrig."
"Good. It is your blade that will slice the neck of Manic, and I want his death to come as swift as he caused Indorn to fall."
And with that, we left the old tree to its life, and begain to make our way to the mythical Castle Frastcrig.
What is "slightly based on Elder Scrolls" mean? Are you writing fan fiction, or just using its setting for your character's story? As for the piece itself, I never like reviewing a small portion of a bigger project. It looks alright as of right now though.
What is "slightly based on Elder Scrolls" mean? Are you writing fan fiction, or just using its setting for your character's story? As for the piece itself, I never like reviewing a small portion of a bigger project. It looks alright as of right now though.
I used the elder scrolls' world to form ideas for my world. I liked their "style" so I used their "style" of world to form my own. There are absolutely no similarities between the two.
I found myself in a dark and desolate forest. It was raining, as it had been for weeks. I was hiding, my sword safe at my side. This hollow tree was a good shelter, but with the added weight of the water falling down on it, it wouldnt last long.The tear in my soul was still very large, but the winds of time were doing a good job slowly repairing the damage that Manic's spells had done. I still felt the pain from his cuts.
" How did I end up like this?" I thought to myself.
" Do you even have to ask?" My mind roared with the dark warped voice of the, now wide awake, Flameswarn. The Sword was finaly willing to talk to me. I was shocked at the head ache its voice came with.
"Well, I didnt exactly sign up for this."
"I picked your world at random, I could have picked anyone from your 'Earth' I wanted to, but ou showed me that you could find me, and handle my power. I didnt tell you to do all of this, I simply sent you to my world. The world that needed you the most. Your choices guided you to me, and guided us both to where we are right now. I never had any influance."
"So, you're telling me, we both ended up in this ordeal because you thought I could fight Manic, the most diabolical Necromancer that ever lived, on my own? You didnt think I could have used a little help along the way?"
"Your soul was true, you knew what you were doing. Me talking to you before now would only have hinderd you. You've kept us alive this long, what will cause you to give up now?"
"I never said that I was giving up."
"Good."
The Winds of Time had done their job well, and my soul was completly healed. The cuts on my arms and hand were almost fully healed. I removed the mystic hour glass from my cheast and tucked it away in my pack.
"Time to go, Have you finished repairing your blade?" I was shocked at how naturaly it felt to talk to flameswarn.
"I'm just about finished, there are still a few chips, but that I'll fix on the way to Frastcrig."
"Good. It is your blade that will slice the neck of Manic, and I want his death to come as swift as he caused Indorn to fall."
And with that, we left the old tree to its life, and begain to make our way to the mythical Castle Frastcrig.
If I was helpful, funny, or you just feel like it, please press the green + button, it's always appreciated.
I used the elder scrolls' world to form ideas for my world. I liked their "style" so I used their "style" of world to form my own. There are absolutely no similarities between the two.