i'm a undescovered poet who wants to share my work. you can too, also you can coment on other peoples poems, heres one i wrote entitled "shakesspear"
as far as this world goes,
there is no-one.
no-one at all,
who knows exactly,
what shakesspear knows.
Not exactly the best poetry, could use some expansion with some more intricate word play other than that its ok.
To help with a poem its nice to have endings on your poem like, C E and so forth and them duplicating those throughout the poem.
Let us rejoice hath this new found treasure (A
It is fragile as a crystal glass (B
Confused are some by this treasure (A
As Smooth and polished is as gleaming brass (B
This love you bring is unsurpassable greater(C
It surpasses the gleam of rubies in a chest (D
Falling deeper into a chasm faster (C
With every waning breath I stutter on the crest (D
And with this ever growing crack I fall deeper (E
Until you grab my hand to save me from despair (F
Lifting me from the hellish abyss far higher (E
Farther than the heavens where angels freely dare (F
So that we once more meet again thyself again today (G
May thyself not indulge in other sins today (G
This is a poem I wrote a couple years back, see when I reuse the letters, they rhyme in a sense, or end with the word, and sound alike. Doing this helps you create a more defined poem with better diction, repetition and some stylistic devices.
Looking at your poem you've started that to an extent
as far as this world goes, - The start with "as" really isn't the best of words, since it doesn't play back into the poem
nobody knows, - First word plays into the third line, but should have a third word which relates to the first then 2nd
there is no-one. - No comments or criticism on this one, structured nicely.
no-one at all, - Plays back into your third line smoothly.
who knows exactly, - I'm rather against using "exactly" in the poems describing the unknown since its rather contradictory
what shakesspear knows. - No comments or criticism.