[This is a long story, so do not read it if you are short of time. Please tell me any errors I make, as I haven't proof read the story. Give feedback!]
I sat at my furnace, thinking whilst the iron forged. Many new resources were to be found away from the heartlands, and into the darkest of jungles and most barren of beaches. Why was everything changing?
I pulled the iron out with my bare hands, and began shaping it into a new pickaxe on the solid workbench I crafted months ago. Even as I worked, I could feel a presence in the building. Something else was here.
Finishing up the pickaxe, I wielded it while I searched around the storage room for a diamond sword. Picking up the light blade, I cautiously worked through the house until I reached old oak door at the front.
It was open.
A surge of panic swept through me. I had not left the door open, had I!? Quickly closing to door, I looked around for an intruder. Again, I could feel something near me.. like in the mines when a skele' archer is watching...
Backing up into my store room again, I heard a thud, somewhere around the indoor paper farm I had. Holding the sword two handed, I slowly edged myself of the cobble floor, hoping not to make a sound.
I walked up to one of the entrances to the farm. Rustling, coupled with an odd scratchy sound emitted from the room. Tremors of fear quaked through me. I had known the skele's had intelligence, but surly they cannot write!?
I advanced towards the door, and tried to look through one of the windows. Just then, the scribbling stopped. I held myself, telling myself not to barge through the door. An arrow through the head at such a close range would require far more doctoring skill than I possessed.
I heard a chest being opened, another, smaller thunk, and the being walked out of the room's other door.
Curious to what was happening, I peeked into the little room. I nearly let out a grunt of dismay as I saw half my plantation was gone. I opened the door to assess the damage, when I saw a treasure chest, sitting in a corner. It was next to the craft table I embedded into the wall for convenience.
I walked up to the chest, both amazed and terrified by what was happening. Could that visitor be one of the ancients who left behind thousands of dungeons with all their protected loot? I had to open the chest.
I had to.
Placing my sword on the ground, I positioned my hands around the edges, half expecting it to be locked. It lifted with subtle ease. Looking into the surprisingly empty chest my heart fell. What was the point of making an empty...
...then I saw the book.
Picking up the book, I looked over it. This was no ordinary book though. It had a leather backing, with silk string binding it together. Holding it up to the torch light, I opened the book, and read the first line...
"Hello Neighbour."
I dropped the book in shock. I have... a neighbour? From my first memory, there were no other people. I was the first of my kind. And yet... a neighbour...
I bent down and picked up the book again, and went into my living room. Sitting down on my woollen chair, it struck me how I had not heard my 'neighbour' leave. Putting the thought aside, I opened the book and read it.
"Hello Neighbour.
I have been here for a while now. Everyday, I see your house grow, I see your quarry get deeper, I see the amount of spiders and zombies in the area dwindle. But I have never seen you.
For a long time, I have tried to contact you. But I realised I could never speak. Often I would stand staring into a lake, trying to say something, anything.
But I have realised the truth, what is really behind all this! I have been constructing a shrine for the last week, collecting all my resources into one spot. I will leave torch markers leading away from your house to the shrine, and you are to follow them once you have finished this message.
Bring all your diamonds, gold, TNT and that jukebox I saw on the way In. I have some records, so don't worry about bringing one.
I have built the shrine atop a tower. When you get there, you must read the books I have left there. I don't know what will happen to this world when I leave, so be quick.
-Good luck, neighbour. May we see each other in the New World."
I put the book down on the arm of my chair. This... this was all new, a neighbour, speech, a shrine...
I walked back into the farm room and looked into the water. A dim reflection could be seen staring back. Opening my mouth, and tried to make a sound.
I couldn't speak either.
Shaking my head, I went back and sat on the chair. Could this be true? Is there really a shrine somewhere?
I opened the book and re-read it. It looked honest enough, and it's the first contact I have had with anyone. I focused on that last sentence.
"May we see each other in the New World."
Shudders leapt through my body. Did this person really intend on going... to a new world? I had to find out about this, find out who this person is, and what he was doing.
I had to.
I broke my jukebox up and slipped it into my pockets. So convenient were the unstable entities, they let me carry thousands of tons as though they were a sandwich. I went back to the storage and lifted out my collective diamond supply. I had eleven blocks, worth hours of mining. I also gathered all my gold, over a hundred TNT I had no use for and a few tools.
As I left, I swiped my diamond sword I had left on the floor of the farm room. Looking out the window, I could see it was just before midnight. A lone pillar with a torch atop it lay out on the plain, about fifty metres away. Another stood looking out over the world from a small hill, just in the distance reaches I could see.
It was going to be a long journey. I picked up some bread on the way out.
--
It was a few days later. As the sun set, I ate the last of my bread, and crafted another four TNT from the powder some dead creepers left behind. It was time to move now.
Up ahead, I could see the sun setting, but something was blocking the lower half of it. Something huge. The torch pillars lead straight to it.
Advancing towards the tower, the true scale of it set into my mind. The massive fortification had no windows, and was carved out of pure obsidian. It was about fifty metres wide, but it reached right up into the sky.
The steel doors in front had been left open. Complex puzzles of red dust littered the floor, an array of sand traps covered the ceiling. A chest lay next to the only other door in the room.
Slowly, I advanced around the traps. Many pressure pads lay on the floor, and the complicated dust continuously charged power and lost it, covering the floor in bright patterns. Following one of the lines, I got close enough to the chest to reach it with my sword. Leaning forward, I flicked the lid open.
A book, similar to the one I had just read lay on top of a pile of diamonds. Thousands of diamonds.
I tried reaching for the book with my sword, but I could only nudge it. The pressure plates were in the way, so I couldn't go forward any more. I couldn't help but start weeping. There was no way across the traps.
Backing out, I walked through the traps towards the entrance and left through the steel doors.
Tears clouded my eyes. After all that walking, the excitement, the raw fear that intruder gave me, I was stopped by traps? I couldn't help but feel destroyed for it.
I began walking back when I heard an explosion. Before I could do anything, I was hit by a phenomenal shock-wave. Turning myself around, I looked up into the evening dusk. A fiery explosion engulfed the top plateau of the tower. The entire top had been blown off, an entire obsidian chunk had just crumbled and fallen to pieces.
In fear I looked back through the steel doors. I could see an erie red light emitting through them.
Moving up to the door, I was taken by surprise.The entire room was dead. Utterly dead. The formerly active dust on the floor all lacked charge. All the walls, however, had disturbingly red torches activated. I could tell they wouldn't be enough to keep out the mobs.
Running over the plates, each activating a tiny segment of wire before deactivating, I launched myself at the chest and pulled out the book. I read it thoroughly, although it didn't have much writing.
"Hello Neighbour.
If you are reading this message, I have left. You must climb the tower and reconstruct the diagram shown below. There are enough diamonds here to craft yourself full armour, and the storage room near the top contains all the goods you need to rebuild the tower.
Be quick: my leaving will have deactivated the traps, letting both you and other mobs in. Make haste to the top, and don't stop on the way. Every second counts now.
When you are done, pull the lever shown on the diagram. That will start the sequence."
Below the massage was a diagram of 5 circular rings, 7x7 in size vertically stacked on each other with strange dust in between. TNT was stacked on the inside edges, eighty in total. A lever lay on the corner of the mechanism.
Pocketing the book, I heard a twang as an arrow hit the wall beside me. Frightened, I grabbed a handful of diamonds and ran through the steel door behind it.
I was amazed at the sheer scale of the tower once more. A flight of stairs went around a central obsidian pole up into the sky. I could see clouds halfway up, and the dim sky after that.
Running up the stairs, I quickly made ground up the tower. Numerous twangs erupted from below, but the skele's couldn't put enough power behind their bows.
My head shot through a cloud after a minute of running. My legs ached as well, so I halted. And it's good I did: I nearly ran off the edge. Catching myself before I fainted, I looked up to see ho much further to go. A good minute more of running was to be done.
Taking a few breaths, I realised there was a gap in the pillar next to me. A small room with a few bookshelves lay inside, with a fireplace burning providing light.
Ignoring the warning not to wander, I went inside and browsed the shelves. They all had leather backs and silk threads, truly a library for a rich man. I felt a compulsion to read them. I looked outside and saw no monsters coming up the stairs. I looked over the shelves and read their titles.
I had to.
"List of Redstone contraptions", "Sky Cannon", "Manipulation of Physics"...
My mind was blown. Already I was standing in a architectural legend of a tower, constructed with the most complex of traps, full of books containing the knowledge of one man. Just one man.
Just then, I heard some knockings outside the pillar. Pulling out my sword, I ran up to the entrance, clouds covering all view and swiped around. Three archers went down in three strokes: each sent plummeting to their deaths.
I turned back and ran the last minute up the stairs to the sky.
--
Reaching the top, I jogged out to a mess. Bits of obsidian were floating in the air, outlining the shape of a twenty-one metre wide circle. Another doorway inside the pillar lead to a small room filled with chests. I was lucky they were still there: the roof had been blown off over them. Inside was a vast supply of obsidian, red powder and gold. A single record was also there.
I began reconstruction of the tower: the main circular platform was easy to build due to the floating leftovers. It was nearly morning by the time I had finished.
As I began laying the main diamond structure shown in the diagram, a disturbing noise ran through the tower. Long and very low pitch, it shook the tower slightly, foreboding...
Screeches of the undead rose from the stairwell.
Panicking quietly to myself, I finished the diamond structure and began laying the TNT. I brought out the book to see If I was making it right, and noticed that the jukebox was to be placed in the centre. Setting it down, I heard more screams of the damned just as the sun began to rise.
Remembering my armour, quickly began crafting the diamonds into chest plate and pants. I could hear a tremendous thundering as the mobs climbed the stairs, their footsteps sounding as one.
I stood at the centre of the circle. Putting the armour on, I slid the record into the jukebox.
It was playing cat, a harmonious song. I instantly calmed down, and reached forward for the lever.
A overpowering sizzling sounded off as eighty TNT all activated at once, and fell at my feet. I immediately questioned why I was doing this.
Just as I saw the TNT swell, a single creeper managed to poke it's head up from the stairs, it's eyes were full of agony. It knew I would be gone forever.
With a blast, I rocketed through the air. My armour was totalled, and almost everything in my possession had been decimated. I flew up for a good thirty seconds. Then, as I slowed down, all the gold left over continued up in my pockets, hoisting me up further as it was too heavy to stop now.
Then I saw it: a flat expanses of grey and black above me, getting closer.
My shirt and began to rip with the force of the gold lifting my body. They quickly advanced ahead of me, the tons of gold forming a tear drop over me, shaped for perfect aerodynamics.
I closed my eyes as I hit the grey wall.
The sound of ten thousand creepers exploding erupted as the gold punched a hole straight through the adminium of the lower side of the wall. I flew up in the slipstream, not so much as touching a rock.
The gold bullet quickly slowed down, and blew of the rest of the rock above me. Punching through a layer of soil, it finally stopped and fell a little, crash landing into a tree. I flew up after it, quickly rolling into a ball as halted mid air, before falling and impacting onto the grass below me.
Crying in pain, I lay on the ground. A similar hole lay a few metres away. A shadow was caste over me from the light of dawn. Another human was standing there, holding out a golden apple.
The sequence describing the main character's journey to the new world is a little confusing. I'm not sure what exactly is going on between take-off and punching through the adminium.
Awesome story (: Some small grammar errors and whatnot but the plot was flawless (: You could easily expand this and make it a full length story, which would pretty much make you a god on this forum :tongue.gif:
I wanted to make a story in relation to multiplayer. The New World represents Zencraft, the server I have been playing on. In single player, you cannot speak, where as you can in multiplayer. In single player, you cannot see anyone else (because obviously, it's single player.) so it is strange for our protagonist to find another being in his world.
I love cannons, and I found a epic cannon in the noobcake labs (I think) that launches you up far past the clouds. This was the "shrine" used to launch the protagonist up into the New World. It represents the coming of multiplayer, as I have foreshadowed with the protagonist thinking about the change in his world.
At the last part, Zuriki talks, who is the leader an organiser of Zencraft. This shows that they have both reached the New World (aka, Multiplayer). I made him talk exactly like in multiplayer, to give the impression there is a change.
The creeper's last look is there because we have no mobs in the New World: it is completely safe. The New World can be seen as a utopia.
And finally, I love science, so where a normal character would not have had the force to fly up through the stone, the gold, being very heavy, would not low down as fast as the protagonist, and would drag him up. The gold then took the full force of smashing into the lower part of the New World.
I don't often write stories, but it is a lot more educational than simply playing the game. I will probably write more (simpler) stories soon.
oh looky here, someone posted while I was typing :biggrin.gif:
Quote from Jammak »
Awesome story (: Some small grammar errors and whatnot but the plot was flawless (: You could easily expand this and make it a full length story, which would pretty much make you a god on this forum :tongue.gif:
I would like to hear what the grammar issues are. I corrected one mistake, but if there are more...
And a full length story? Maybe. Depends if I get good ideas/people like this story enough.
I was wondering, is that obsidian tower a reference to a monolith? I havent researched anything about that but it sounds something like that. Isnt it from a book?
And finally, I love science, so where a normal character would not have had the force to fly up through the stone, the gold, being very heavy, would not low down as fast as the protagonist, and would drag him up.
Gravity would slow the gold and the character at the same speed. The more massive gold would, however, have much higher momentum when it hit the adminium. So you're right that it would smash through the adminium better.
Also, is there a link to a map with that giant person-launching cannon? Or at least a youtube video?
Wow you should be a profesionol writer and make LOTS of money this could be your career You could make millions! Don't waste your skill make writing your job. If I was as good as you at writing I would write a book and publish it, but I'm no good at writing I had to write a story for school and my teacher read it and he siad he exspected better from a 4-year old, but he was evil any way
Most professional writers don't make lots of money. Trust me, I've done some research on the subject because I aspire to be a professional writer.
But featherblade certainly does have the makings of a great writer.
Why thank you!
Oh, one of my friends who wishes to be a programmer showed me a video that talks about how workers in the creative industries tend to work better when earning less money, or something like that. I believe is that video, but my bandwidth is too low for me to watch it to make sure.
I would like to hear what the grammar issues are. I corrected one mistake, but if there are more....
"looking into the surprisingly empty chest my heart fell" (capital letter)
"This was no ordinary book though." (though shouldn't be used here since its just a statement not a comparison)
"woollen" (only 1 l)
"..and you are to follow once you have finished this message" (follow them, gotta refer to what he's following :tongue.gif:)
"It looked honest enough, and It's" (no capital)
"So convenient were the unstable entities let me carry thousands of tons as though they were a sandwich." (Awkward, needs fixing. So convenient were the unstable entities, letting me .. or something like that)
"it was fifty metres wide" (It)
"A chest lay next to he only other door in the room" (the)
"shock-wave" can just be shockwave :tongue.gif:
"A lever lay on the corner o the" (of the)
"I heard twang" ( i heard the twang or a twang)
"frightened" (caps)
"Reaching the top, I opened out to a mess" (I think it should be the tower opened out to a mess :ohmy.gif: so just an 'it')
"another doorway in side" (inside)
"almost everything in my inventory" (maybe in my possession? kinda breaks the wall of the story imo. Don't have to change it >_>)
"The quickly advanced" .. (they)
"quickly rolling into a ball as halted mid air" (as I halted?)
"caste" (cast. might be a regional spelling thing though)
I'm sure there are better ways to do this, but I just made a list of things I saw as I re-read it. Was just as wonderful the 2nd time :biggrin.gif: So the errors are in order of the story, so just as you skim down you'll see them.
Also, no i'm not a grammar nazi, he just asked for a proof read so I wanted to be as thorough as I could be. I know I missed some and not all of my corrections are the absolute best suggestion on how to fix it. Just wanted to say that before the flaming or w/e
[This is a long story, so do not read it if you are short of time. Please tell me any errors I make, as I haven't proof read the story. Give feedback!]
I sat at my furnace, thinking whilst the iron forged. Many new resources were to be found away from the heartlands, and into the darkest of jungles and most barren of beaches. Why was everything changing?
I pulled the iron out with my bare hands, and began shaping it into a new pickaxe on the solid workbench I crafted months ago. Even as I worked, I could feel a presence in the building. Something else was here.
Finishing up the pickaxe, I wielded it while I searched around the storage room for a diamond sword. Picking up the light blade, I cautiously worked through the house until I reached old oak door at the front.
It was open.
Wow that is very long!
A surge of panic swept through me. I had not left the door open, had I!? Quickly closing to door, I looked around for an intruder. Again, I could feel something near me.. like in the mines when a skele' archer is watching...
Backing up into my store room again, I heard a thud, somewhere around the indoor paper farm I had. Holding the sword two handed, I slowly edged myself of the cobble floor, hoping not to make a sound.
I walked up to one of the entrances to the farm. Rustling, coupled with an odd scratchy sound emitted from the room. Tremors of fear quaked through me. I had known the skele's had intelligence, but surly they cannot write!?
I advanced towards the door, and tried to look through one of the windows. Just then, the scribbling stopped. I held myself, telling myself not to barge through the door. An arrow through the head at such a close range would require far more doctoring skill than I possessed.
I heard a chest being opened, another, smaller thunk, and the being walked out of the room's other door.
Curious to what was happening, I peeked into the little room. I nearly let out a grunt of dismay as I saw half my plantation was gone. I opened the door to assess the damage, when I saw a treasure chest, sitting in a corner. It was next to the craft table I embedded into the wall for convenience.
I walked up to the chest, both amazed and terrified by what was happening. Could that visitor be one of the ancients who left behind thousands of dungeons with all their protected loot? I had to open the chest.
I had to.
Placing my sword on the ground, I positioned my hands around the edges, half expecting it to be locked. It lifted with subtle ease. looking into the surprisingly empty chest my heart fell. What was the point of making an empty...
...then I saw the book.
Picking up the book, I looked over it. This was no ordinary book though. It had a leather backing, with silk string binding it together. Holding it up to the torch light, I opened the book, and read the first line...
"Hello Neighbour."
I dropped the book in shock. I have... a neighbour? From my first memory, there were no other people. I was the first of my kind. And yet... a neighbour...
I bent down and picked up the book again, and went into my living room. Sitting down on my woollen chair, it struck me how I had not heard my 'neighbour' leave. Putting the thought aside, I opened the book and read it.
"Hello Neighbour.
I have been here for a while now. Everyday, I see your house grow, I see your quarry get deeper, I see the amount of spiders and zombies in the area dwindle. But I have never seen you.
For a long time, I have tried to contact you. But I realised I could never speak. Often I would stand staring into a lake, trying to say something, anything.
But I have realised the truth, what is really behind all this! I have been constructing a shrine for the last week, collecting all my resources into one spot. I will leave torch markers leading away from your house to the shrine, and you are to follow once you have finished this message.
Bring all your diamonds, gold, TNT and that jukebox I saw on the way In. I have some records, so don't worry about bringing one.
I have built the shrine atop a tower. When you get there, you must read the books I have left there. I don't know what will happen to this world when I leave, so be quick.
-Good luck, neighbour. May we see each other in the New World."
I put the book down on the arm of my chair. This... this was all new, a neighbour, speech, a shrine...
I walked back into the farm room and looked into the water. A dim reflection could be seen staring back. Opening my mouth, and tried to make a sound.
I couldn't speak either.
Shaking my head, I went back and sat on the chair. Could this be true? Is there really a shrine somewhere?
I opened the book and re-read it. It looked honest enough, and It's the first contact I have had with anyone. I focused on that last sentence.
"May we see each other in the New World."
Shudders leapt through my body. Did this person really intend on going... to a new world? I had to find out about this, find out who this person is, and what he was doing.
I had to.
I broke my jukebox up and slipped it into my pockets. So convenient were the unstable entities let me carry thousands of tons as though they were a sandwich. I went back to the storage and lifted out my collective diamond supply. I had eleven blocks, worth hours of mining. I also gathered all my gold, over a hundred TNT I had no use for and a few tools.
As I left, I swiped my diamond sword I had left on the floor of the farm room. Looking out the window, I could see it was just before midnight. A lone pillar with a torch atop it lay out on the plain, about fifty metres away. Another stood looking out over the world from a small hill, just in the distance reaches I could see.
It was going to be a long journey. I picked up some bread on the way out.
--
It was a few days later. As the sun set, I ate the last of my bread, and crafted another four TNT from the powder some dead creepers left behind. It was time to move now.
Up ahead, I could see the sun setting, but something was blocking the lower half of it. Something huge. The torch pillars lead straight to it.
Advancing towards the tower, the true scale of it set into my mind. The massive fortification had no windows, and was carved out of pure obsidian. it was about fifty metres wide, but it reached right up into the sky.
The steel doors in front had been left open. Complex puzzles of red dust littered the floor, an array of sand traps covered the ceiling. A chest lay next to he only other door in the room.
Slowly, I advanced around the traps. Many pressure pads lay on the floor, and the complicated dust continuously charged power and lost it, covering the floor in bright patterns. Following one of the lines, I got close enough to the chest to reach it with my sword. Leaning forward, I flicked the lid open.
A book, similar to the one I had just read lay on top of a pile of diamonds. Thousands of diamonds.
I tried reaching for the book with my sword, but I could only nudge it. The pressure plates were in the way, so I couldn't go forward any more. I couldn't help but start weeping. There was no way across the traps.
Backing out, I walked through the traps towards the entrance and left through the steel doors.
Tears clouded my eyes. After all that walking, the excitement, the raw fear that intruder gave me, I was stopped by traps? I couldn't help but feel destroyed for it.
I began walking back when I heard an explosion. Before I could do anything, I was hit by a phenomenal shock-wave. Turning myself around, I looked up into the evening dusk. A fiery explosion engulfed the top plateau of the tower. The entire top had been blown off, an entire obsidian chunk had just crumbled and fallen to pieces.
In fear I looked back through the steel doors. I could see an erie red light emitting through them.
Moving up to the door, I was taken by surprise.The entire room was dead. Utterly dead. The formerly active dust on the floor all lacked charge. All the walls, however, had disturbingly red torches activated. I could tell they wouldn't be enough to keep out the mobs.
Running over the plates, each activating a tiny segment of wire before deactivating, I launched myself at the chest and pulled out the book. I read it thoroughly, although it didn't have much writing.
"Hello Neighbour.
If you are reading this message, I have left. You must climb the tower and reconstruct the diagram shown below. There are enough diamonds here to craft yourself full armour, and the storage room near the top contains all the goods you need to rebuild the tower.
Be quick: my leaving will have deactivated the traps, letting both you and other mobs in. Make haste to the top, and don't stop on the way. Every second counts now.
When you are done, pull the lever shown on the diagram. That will start the sequence."
Below the massage was a diagram of 5 circular rings, 7x7 in size vertically stacked on each other with strange dust in between. TNT was stacked on the inside edges, eighty in total. A lever lay on the corner o the mechanism.
Pocketing the book, I heard twang as an arrow hit the wall beside me. frightened, I grabbed a handful of diamonds and ran through the steel door behind it.
I was amazed at the sheer scale of the tower once more. A flight of stairs went around a central obsidian pole up into the sky. I could see clouds halfway up, and the dim sky after that.
Running up the stairs, I quickly made ground up the tower. Numerous twangs erupted from below, but the skele's couldn't put enough power behind their bows.
My head shot through a cloud after a minute of running. My legs ached as well, so I halted. And it's good I did: I nearly ran off the edge. Catching myself before I fainted, I looked up to see ho much further to go. A good minute more of running was to be done.
Taking a few breaths, I realised there was a gap in the pillar next to me. A small room with a few bookshelves lay inside, with a fireplace burning providing light.
Ignoring the warning not to wander, I went inside and browsed the shelves. They all had leather backs and silk threads, truly a library for a rich man. I felt a compulsion to read them. I looked outside and saw no monsters coming up the stairs. I looked over the shelves and read their titles.
I had to.
"List of Redstone contraptions", "Sky Cannon", "Manipulation of Physics"...
My mind was blown. Already I was standing in a architectural legend of a tower, constructed with the most complex of traps, full of books containing the knowledge of one man. Just one man.
Just then, I heard some knockings outside the pillar. Pulling out my sword, I ran up to the entrance, clouds covering all view and swiped around. Three archers went down in three strokes: each sent plummeting to their deaths.
I turned back and ran the last minute up the stairs to the sky.
--
Reaching the top, I opened out to a mess. Bits of obsidian were floating in the air, outlining the shape of a twenty-one metre wide circle. Another doorway in side the pillar lead to a small room filled with chests. I was lucky they were still there: the roof had been blown off over them. Inside was a vast supply of obsidian, red powder and gold. A single record was also there.
I began reconstruction of the tower: the main circular platform was easy to build due to the floating leftovers. It was nearly morning by the time I had finished.
As I began laying the main diamond structure shown in the diagram, a disturbing noise ran through the tower. Long and very low pitch, it shook the tower slightly, foreboding...
Screeches of the undead rose from the stairwell.
Panicking quietly to myself, I finished the diamond structure and began laying the TNT. I brought out the book to see If I was making it right, and noticed that the jukebox was to be placed in the centre. Setting it down, I heard more screams of the damned just as the sun began to rise.
Remembering my armour, quickly began crafting the diamonds into chest plate and pants. I could hear a tremendous thundering as the mobs climbed the stairs, their footsteps sounding as one.
I stood at the centre of the circle. Putting the armour on, I slid the record into the jukebox.
It was playing cat, a harmonious song. I instantly calmed down, and reached forward for the lever.
A overpowering sizzling sounded off as eighty TNT all activated at once, and fell at my feet. I immediately questioned why I was doing this.
Just as I saw the TNT swell, a single creeper managed to poke it's head up from the stairs, it's eyes were full of agony. It knew I would be gone forever.
With a blast, I rocketed through the air. My armour was totalled, and almost everything in my inventory had been decimated. I flew up for a good thirty seconds. Then, as I slowed down, all the gold in my inventory continued up in my pockets, hoisting me up further as it was too heavy to stop now.
Then I saw it: a flat expanses of grey and black above me, getting closer.
My shirt and began to rip with the force of the gold lifting my body. The quickly advanced ahead of me, the tons of gold forming a tear drop over me, shaped for perfect aerodynamics.
I closed my eyes as I hit the grey wall.
The sound of ten thousand creepers exploding erupted as the gold punched a hole straight through the adminium of the lower side of the wall. I flew up in the slipstream, not so much as touching a rock.
The gold bullet quickly slowed down, and blew of the rest of the rock above me. Punching through a layer of soil, it finally stopped and fell a little, crash landing into a tree. I flew up after it, quickly rolling into a ball as halted mid air, and impacted onto the grass below me.
Crying in pain, I lay on the ground. A similar hole lay a few metres away. A shadow was caste over me from the light of dawn. Another human was standing there, holding out a golden apple.
anthony, is there a reason you quoted the entire story?
Jammak, perhaps a PM would have been a better way to deliver your proof-read. Not that I mind reading it, but your right that some people might flame you for that, not understanding that featherblade asked for more details about grammar mistakes.
anthony, is there a reason you quoted the entire story?
Jammak, perhaps a PM would have been a better way to deliver your proof-read. Not that I mind reading it, but your right that some people might flame you for that, not understanding that featherblade asked for more details about grammar mistakes.
if you read the quote he added 'wow, that is very long!' to the story.
i think he misquoted.
I sat at my furnace, thinking whilst the iron forged. Many new resources were to be found away from the heartlands, and into the darkest of jungles and most barren of beaches. Why was everything changing?
I pulled the iron out with my bare hands, and began shaping it into a new pickaxe on the solid workbench I crafted months ago. Even as I worked, I could feel a presence in the building. Something else was here.
Finishing up the pickaxe, I wielded it while I searched around the storage room for a diamond sword. Picking up the light blade, I cautiously worked through the house until I reached old oak door at the front.
It was open.
A surge of panic swept through me. I had not left the door open, had I!? Quickly closing to door, I looked around for an intruder. Again, I could feel something near me.. like in the mines when a skele' archer is watching...
Backing up into my store room again, I heard a thud, somewhere around the indoor paper farm I had. Holding the sword two handed, I slowly edged myself of the cobble floor, hoping not to make a sound.
I walked up to one of the entrances to the farm. Rustling, coupled with an odd scratchy sound emitted from the room. Tremors of fear quaked through me. I had known the skele's had intelligence, but surly they cannot write!?
I advanced towards the door, and tried to look through one of the windows. Just then, the scribbling stopped. I held myself, telling myself not to barge through the door. An arrow through the head at such a close range would require far more doctoring skill than I possessed.
I heard a chest being opened, another, smaller thunk, and the being walked out of the room's other door.
Curious to what was happening, I peeked into the little room. I nearly let out a grunt of dismay as I saw half my plantation was gone. I opened the door to assess the damage, when I saw a treasure chest, sitting in a corner. It was next to the craft table I embedded into the wall for convenience.
I walked up to the chest, both amazed and terrified by what was happening. Could that visitor be one of the ancients who left behind thousands of dungeons with all their protected loot? I had to open the chest.
I had to.
Placing my sword on the ground, I positioned my hands around the edges, half expecting it to be locked. It lifted with subtle ease. Looking into the surprisingly empty chest my heart fell. What was the point of making an empty...
...then I saw the book.
Picking up the book, I looked over it. This was no ordinary book though. It had a leather backing, with silk string binding it together. Holding it up to the torch light, I opened the book, and read the first line...
"Hello Neighbour."
I dropped the book in shock. I have... a neighbour? From my first memory, there were no other people. I was the first of my kind. And yet... a neighbour...
I bent down and picked up the book again, and went into my living room. Sitting down on my woollen chair, it struck me how I had not heard my 'neighbour' leave. Putting the thought aside, I opened the book and read it.
"Hello Neighbour.
I have been here for a while now. Everyday, I see your house grow, I see your quarry get deeper, I see the amount of spiders and zombies in the area dwindle. But I have never seen you.
For a long time, I have tried to contact you. But I realised I could never speak. Often I would stand staring into a lake, trying to say something, anything.
But I have realised the truth, what is really behind all this! I have been constructing a shrine for the last week, collecting all my resources into one spot. I will leave torch markers leading away from your house to the shrine, and you are to follow them once you have finished this message.
Bring all your diamonds, gold, TNT and that jukebox I saw on the way In. I have some records, so don't worry about bringing one.
I have built the shrine atop a tower. When you get there, you must read the books I have left there. I don't know what will happen to this world when I leave, so be quick.
-Good luck, neighbour. May we see each other in the New World."
I put the book down on the arm of my chair. This... this was all new, a neighbour, speech, a shrine...
I walked back into the farm room and looked into the water. A dim reflection could be seen staring back. Opening my mouth, and tried to make a sound.
I couldn't speak either.
Shaking my head, I went back and sat on the chair. Could this be true? Is there really a shrine somewhere?
I opened the book and re-read it. It looked honest enough, and it's the first contact I have had with anyone. I focused on that last sentence.
"May we see each other in the New World."
Shudders leapt through my body. Did this person really intend on going... to a new world? I had to find out about this, find out who this person is, and what he was doing.
I had to.
I broke my jukebox up and slipped it into my pockets. So convenient were the unstable entities, they let me carry thousands of tons as though they were a sandwich. I went back to the storage and lifted out my collective diamond supply. I had eleven blocks, worth hours of mining. I also gathered all my gold, over a hundred TNT I had no use for and a few tools.
As I left, I swiped my diamond sword I had left on the floor of the farm room. Looking out the window, I could see it was just before midnight. A lone pillar with a torch atop it lay out on the plain, about fifty metres away. Another stood looking out over the world from a small hill, just in the distance reaches I could see.
It was going to be a long journey. I picked up some bread on the way out.
--
It was a few days later. As the sun set, I ate the last of my bread, and crafted another four TNT from the powder some dead creepers left behind. It was time to move now.
Up ahead, I could see the sun setting, but something was blocking the lower half of it. Something huge. The torch pillars lead straight to it.
Advancing towards the tower, the true scale of it set into my mind. The massive fortification had no windows, and was carved out of pure obsidian. It was about fifty metres wide, but it reached right up into the sky.
The steel doors in front had been left open. Complex puzzles of red dust littered the floor, an array of sand traps covered the ceiling. A chest lay next to the only other door in the room.
Slowly, I advanced around the traps. Many pressure pads lay on the floor, and the complicated dust continuously charged power and lost it, covering the floor in bright patterns. Following one of the lines, I got close enough to the chest to reach it with my sword. Leaning forward, I flicked the lid open.
A book, similar to the one I had just read lay on top of a pile of diamonds. Thousands of diamonds.
I tried reaching for the book with my sword, but I could only nudge it. The pressure plates were in the way, so I couldn't go forward any more. I couldn't help but start weeping. There was no way across the traps.
Backing out, I walked through the traps towards the entrance and left through the steel doors.
Tears clouded my eyes. After all that walking, the excitement, the raw fear that intruder gave me, I was stopped by traps? I couldn't help but feel destroyed for it.
I began walking back when I heard an explosion. Before I could do anything, I was hit by a phenomenal shock-wave. Turning myself around, I looked up into the evening dusk. A fiery explosion engulfed the top plateau of the tower. The entire top had been blown off, an entire obsidian chunk had just crumbled and fallen to pieces.
In fear I looked back through the steel doors. I could see an erie red light emitting through them.
Moving up to the door, I was taken by surprise.The entire room was dead. Utterly dead. The formerly active dust on the floor all lacked charge. All the walls, however, had disturbingly red torches activated. I could tell they wouldn't be enough to keep out the mobs.
Running over the plates, each activating a tiny segment of wire before deactivating, I launched myself at the chest and pulled out the book. I read it thoroughly, although it didn't have much writing.
"Hello Neighbour.
If you are reading this message, I have left. You must climb the tower and reconstruct the diagram shown below. There are enough diamonds here to craft yourself full armour, and the storage room near the top contains all the goods you need to rebuild the tower.
Be quick: my leaving will have deactivated the traps, letting both you and other mobs in. Make haste to the top, and don't stop on the way. Every second counts now.
When you are done, pull the lever shown on the diagram. That will start the sequence."
Below the massage was a diagram of 5 circular rings, 7x7 in size vertically stacked on each other with strange dust in between. TNT was stacked on the inside edges, eighty in total. A lever lay on the corner of the mechanism.
Pocketing the book, I heard a twang as an arrow hit the wall beside me. Frightened, I grabbed a handful of diamonds and ran through the steel door behind it.
I was amazed at the sheer scale of the tower once more. A flight of stairs went around a central obsidian pole up into the sky. I could see clouds halfway up, and the dim sky after that.
Running up the stairs, I quickly made ground up the tower. Numerous twangs erupted from below, but the skele's couldn't put enough power behind their bows.
My head shot through a cloud after a minute of running. My legs ached as well, so I halted. And it's good I did: I nearly ran off the edge. Catching myself before I fainted, I looked up to see ho much further to go. A good minute more of running was to be done.
Taking a few breaths, I realised there was a gap in the pillar next to me. A small room with a few bookshelves lay inside, with a fireplace burning providing light.
Ignoring the warning not to wander, I went inside and browsed the shelves. They all had leather backs and silk threads, truly a library for a rich man. I felt a compulsion to read them. I looked outside and saw no monsters coming up the stairs. I looked over the shelves and read their titles.
I had to.
"List of Redstone contraptions", "Sky Cannon", "Manipulation of Physics"...
My mind was blown. Already I was standing in a architectural legend of a tower, constructed with the most complex of traps, full of books containing the knowledge of one man. Just one man.
Just then, I heard some knockings outside the pillar. Pulling out my sword, I ran up to the entrance, clouds covering all view and swiped around. Three archers went down in three strokes: each sent plummeting to their deaths.
I turned back and ran the last minute up the stairs to the sky.
--
Reaching the top, I jogged out to a mess. Bits of obsidian were floating in the air, outlining the shape of a twenty-one metre wide circle. Another doorway inside the pillar lead to a small room filled with chests. I was lucky they were still there: the roof had been blown off over them. Inside was a vast supply of obsidian, red powder and gold. A single record was also there.
I began reconstruction of the tower: the main circular platform was easy to build due to the floating leftovers. It was nearly morning by the time I had finished.
As I began laying the main diamond structure shown in the diagram, a disturbing noise ran through the tower. Long and very low pitch, it shook the tower slightly, foreboding...
Screeches of the undead rose from the stairwell.
Panicking quietly to myself, I finished the diamond structure and began laying the TNT. I brought out the book to see If I was making it right, and noticed that the jukebox was to be placed in the centre. Setting it down, I heard more screams of the damned just as the sun began to rise.
Remembering my armour, quickly began crafting the diamonds into chest plate and pants. I could hear a tremendous thundering as the mobs climbed the stairs, their footsteps sounding as one.
I stood at the centre of the circle. Putting the armour on, I slid the record into the jukebox.
It was playing cat, a harmonious song. I instantly calmed down, and reached forward for the lever.
A overpowering sizzling sounded off as eighty TNT all activated at once, and fell at my feet. I immediately questioned why I was doing this.
Just as I saw the TNT swell, a single creeper managed to poke it's head up from the stairs, it's eyes were full of agony. It knew I would be gone forever.
With a blast, I rocketed through the air. My armour was totalled, and almost everything in my possession had been decimated. I flew up for a good thirty seconds. Then, as I slowed down, all the gold left over continued up in my pockets, hoisting me up further as it was too heavy to stop now.
Then I saw it: a flat expanses of grey and black above me, getting closer.
My shirt and began to rip with the force of the gold lifting my body. They quickly advanced ahead of me, the tons of gold forming a tear drop over me, shaped for perfect aerodynamics.
I closed my eyes as I hit the grey wall.
The sound of ten thousand creepers exploding erupted as the gold punched a hole straight through the adminium of the lower side of the wall. I flew up in the slipstream, not so much as touching a rock.
The gold bullet quickly slowed down, and blew of the rest of the rock above me. Punching through a layer of soil, it finally stopped and fell a little, crash landing into a tree. I flew up after it, quickly rolling into a ball as halted mid air, before falling and impacting onto the grass below me.
Crying in pain, I lay on the ground. A similar hole lay a few metres away. A shadow was caste over me from the light of dawn. Another human was standing there, holding out a golden apple.
"<Zuriki> Welcome to the new world."
A simple suggestion on geology here.
~~~
Slaves of the Coal Mine
An interesting Novel to pass the time.
The sequence describing the main character's journey to the new world is a little confusing. I'm not sure what exactly is going on between take-off and punching through the adminium.
I wanted to make a story in relation to multiplayer. The New World represents Zencraft, the server I have been playing on. In single player, you cannot speak, where as you can in multiplayer. In single player, you cannot see anyone else (because obviously, it's single player.) so it is strange for our protagonist to find another being in his world.
I love cannons, and I found a epic cannon in the noobcake labs (I think) that launches you up far past the clouds. This was the "shrine" used to launch the protagonist up into the New World. It represents the coming of multiplayer, as I have foreshadowed with the protagonist thinking about the change in his world.
At the last part, Zuriki talks, who is the leader an organiser of Zencraft. This shows that they have both reached the New World (aka, Multiplayer). I made him talk exactly like in multiplayer, to give the impression there is a change.
The creeper's last look is there because we have no mobs in the New World: it is completely safe. The New World can be seen as a utopia.
And finally, I love science, so where a normal character would not have had the force to fly up through the stone, the gold, being very heavy, would not low down as fast as the protagonist, and would drag him up. The gold then took the full force of smashing into the lower part of the New World.
I don't often write stories, but it is a lot more educational than simply playing the game. I will probably write more (simpler) stories soon.
oh looky here, someone posted while I was typing :biggrin.gif:
I would like to hear what the grammar issues are. I corrected one mistake, but if there are more...
And a full length story? Maybe. Depends if I get good ideas/people like this story enough.
A simple suggestion on geology here.
~~~
Slaves of the Coal Mine
An interesting Novel to pass the time.
It sounds inspiring and everything. You should write more!
Gravity would slow the gold and the character at the same speed. The more massive gold would, however, have much higher momentum when it hit the adminium. So you're right that it would smash through the adminium better.
Also, is there a link to a map with that giant person-launching cannon? Or at least a youtube video?
Most professional writers don't make lots of money. Trust me, I've done some research on the subject because I aspire to be a professional writer.
But featherblade certainly does have the makings of a great writer.
Why thank you!
Oh, one of my friends who wishes to be a programmer showed me a video that talks about how workers in the creative industries tend to work better when earning less money, or something like that. I believe is that video, but my bandwidth is too low for me to watch it to make sure.
A simple suggestion on geology here.
~~~
Slaves of the Coal Mine
An interesting Novel to pass the time.
"looking into the surprisingly empty chest my heart fell" (capital letter)
"This was no ordinary book though." (though shouldn't be used here since its just a statement not a comparison)
"woollen" (only 1 l)
"..and you are to follow once you have finished this message" (follow them, gotta refer to what he's following :tongue.gif:)
"It looked honest enough, and It's" (no capital)
"So convenient were the unstable entities let me carry thousands of tons as though they were a sandwich." (Awkward, needs fixing. So convenient were the unstable entities, letting me .. or something like that)
"it was fifty metres wide" (It)
"A chest lay next to he only other door in the room" (the)
"shock-wave" can just be shockwave :tongue.gif:
"A lever lay on the corner o the" (of the)
"I heard twang" ( i heard the twang or a twang)
"frightened" (caps)
"Reaching the top, I opened out to a mess" (I think it should be the tower opened out to a mess :ohmy.gif: so just an 'it')
"another doorway in side" (inside)
"almost everything in my inventory" (maybe in my possession? kinda breaks the wall of the story imo. Don't have to change it >_>)
"The quickly advanced" .. (they)
"quickly rolling into a ball as halted mid air" (as I halted?)
"caste" (cast. might be a regional spelling thing though)
I'm sure there are better ways to do this, but I just made a list of things I saw as I re-read it. Was just as wonderful the 2nd time :biggrin.gif: So the errors are in order of the story, so just as you skim down you'll see them.
Also, no i'm not a grammar nazi, he just asked for a proof read so I wanted to be as thorough as I could be. I know I missed some and not all of my corrections are the absolute best suggestion on how to fix it. Just wanted to say that before the flaming or w/e
At first I was confused about the metaphor, but at the end it clicked. But that's okay, it kept the story immersive.
Jammak, perhaps a PM would have been a better way to deliver your proof-read. Not that I mind reading it, but your right that some people might flame you for that, not understanding that featherblade asked for more details about grammar mistakes.
if you read the quote he added 'wow, that is very long!' to the story.
i think he misquoted.