I'm going to give you some constructive criticism.
First, congratulations on the fantastic story! It certainly is appealing to me, albeit sometimes I was saying to myself "This is huge", making me want to rage-quit right away. But since I'm a story-writer myself, I continued to read to the end.
Anyway, first on the contents: I've read both the parts, and I can say that most of the story makes people want to know what happens next, and that is certainly a good point. The grammar is 100% correct, although I've found one or two typos and mishaps without much importance.
The style you use to write this story isn't the one I use, you seem to prefer a 1st person told tale, while I usually narrate. Extra points for you for using that, 1st person is not easy, and you have to give the complete perspective of the character. Your mood of writing did sometimes change on Part I, but on Part II it certainly got constant, only changing on the right time.
My final words: Congratulations! Make some more quickly! But a tip, try to make smaller chapters, as it can become quite tiresome when you see a mile-long chapter to read. Write to your heart's content, and then split them into small chapters. That way, you can make constant updates (every 2 days, or whatever you decide) since you already have the next part ready.
Congratulations! I voted Perfect just because of the length of it, but without that, it's completely Epic and Pwn :smile.gif:
Wow, thanks! Comments like those improve my days. Plural days, of course, because they stay in my head.
My plan as of yet is to, when finished with Part II and III, make one thread with the entire story in it, but size 1. They'll be separated--so, if you want to read Part I Section I, you scroll to that part, copy it into a Notepad or something, and read it.
This means that you can read what you want to read in a single thread without it being overwhelming.
Anyhow. Yeah, Part I was stupid in a lot of ways. I'll rework it when I compile the story later.
I chose a 1st-person perspective because I wanted to capture the emotion and adventure I was sure a minecrafter stuck in this world would feel. Also, this WAS based on true events--I wanted to convey what I was thinking while I went through this.
I'm not nearly organized enough to organize my story, sadly.
But, hey, thanks! Perhaps you'll change your vote higher at some point?
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
GENERATION ∞: The first time you see this, copy it into your sig on any forum and add 1 to the generation. Social experiment.
Quote from Dark_One2012 »
Someone once told me you could actually use the eggs and bucket of milk to make a cake. Turns out it was just a lie...
epic story i liked it read the whoole thing u should make a book no pictures though :smile.gif:
whole*
And here, have some charity periods:
.......................,
I even threw in a free comma.
I should make a book? Without pictures?
How old are you, good sir?
/notbeingrude
A notice to the general readers:
1. Part II might be finished where it is, and I'll just turn all of my new writing into Part III. Should this be the case, you'll see a new topic soon that states such.
2. Memorium is an INTENTIONAL misspelling. Stop emailing me telling me that I fail at life because there's a U instead of an A. I know. Trust me.
3. Just because the title is titled that way doesn't mean that the main character will die. Seriously. Why do you all email me saying these things?
An example:
"ur story waz epic lulz why u kill main charactor?????? u sed u wud in the tittle fail lol and memmoriam is speled with a a lol"
Actual email.
...wow.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
GENERATION ∞: The first time you see this, copy it into your sig on any forum and add 1 to the generation. Social experiment.
Quote from Dark_One2012 »
Someone once told me you could actually use the eggs and bucket of milk to make a cake. Turns out it was just a lie...
Anyways, I loved how you left us with a "complete" sounding cliff hanger. It makes me want to come back for more, but it's not driving me crazy with the "What happened next?!" feeling. I like that.
I actully loved part 1 slightly more then this tho,cause part 1 shows big freindship with pigmans which just inspired me to be friends with a bunch of stuff (including birds in real life lol)
I actully loved part 1 slightly more then this tho,cause part 1 shows big freindship with pigmans which just inspired me to be friends with a bunch of stuff (including birds in real life lol)
I'm sure your parents are proud of that decision, xD
I actully loved part 1 slightly more then this tho,cause part 1 shows big freindship with pigmans which just inspired me to be friends with a bunch of stuff (including birds in real life lol)
I'm sure your parents are proud of that decision, xD
lol they dont even let me buy minecraft so i doubt that (yeah i play the pirate version-thinking of buying it with my bro soon without letting my mom see lol.)
Quote from vgxmaster »
Part III:
Part I's lovingness and feelings of awe
Part II's pure creeper killing.
Win.
dude, i can tell the same thing in in this part happens in the third part (all the killing and dieing) but in hell but the lands been shot down so you meet your piggy friends in another place somehow. (you know the portral teleportation glitch right?)and theres also a glitch that lets you summon portrals with f4.back up your save file so that the creepy noise goes away or just mine the obsidan frame.Also heres and idea for you story:the piggies learnt more and heal your legs,or they become neutral because it might have been centurys since you last meet them and their your friends sons and not your friend himself.you can help them by teaching them the way you thought your friend surviving.
Dude. I've almost reached updates every hour. I just took a break.
Well, there goes that.
More updates next time I post!
YES! MORE UPDATES! Time to stare at my screen!
Wow, thanks! Comments like those improve my days. Plural days, of course, because they stay in my head.
My plan as of yet is to, when finished with Part II and III, make one thread with the entire story in it, but size 1. They'll be separated--so, if you want to read Part I Section I, you scroll to that part, copy it into a Notepad or something, and read it.
This means that you can read what you want to read in a single thread without it being overwhelming.
Anyhow. Yeah, Part I was stupid in a lot of ways. I'll rework it when I compile the story later.
I chose a 1st-person perspective because I wanted to capture the emotion and adventure I was sure a minecrafter stuck in this world would feel. Also, this WAS based on true events--I wanted to convey what I was thinking while I went through this.
I'm not nearly organized enough to organize my story, sadly.
But, hey, thanks! Perhaps you'll change your vote higher at some point?
Working on it.
<--------------------------------------- LOVES ITS
(notice^ its pointed right at my name)
I notice.
whole*
And here, have some charity periods:
.......................,
I even threw in a free comma.
I should make a book? Without pictures?
How old are you, good sir?
/notbeingrude
A notice to the general readers:
1. Part II might be finished where it is, and I'll just turn all of my new writing into Part III. Should this be the case, you'll see a new topic soon that states such.
2. Memorium is an INTENTIONAL misspelling. Stop emailing me telling me that I fail at life because there's a U instead of an A. I know. Trust me.
3. Just because the title is titled that way doesn't mean that the main character will die. Seriously. Why do you all email me saying these things?
An example:
"ur story waz epic lulz why u kill main charactor?????? u sed u wud in the tittle fail lol and memmoriam is speled with a a lol"
Actual email.
...wow.
Wow indeed.....
anyhoo.... very nice story..... can't wait to see what happens next.
Anyways, I loved how you left us with a "complete" sounding cliff hanger. It makes me want to come back for more, but it's not driving me crazy with the "What happened next?!" feeling. I like that.
Go on. Read it.
(at least better in story writing lol)
I'm sure your parents are proud of that decision, xD
Part I's lovingness and feelings of awe
Part II's pure creeper killing.
Win.
lol they dont even let me buy minecraft so i doubt that (yeah i play the pirate version-thinking of buying it with my bro soon without letting my mom see lol.)
dude, i can tell the same thing in in this part happens in the third part (all the killing and dieing) but in hell but the lands been shot down so you meet your piggy friends in another place somehow. (you know the portral teleportation glitch right?)and theres also a glitch that lets you summon portrals with f4.back up your save file so that the creepy noise goes away or just mine the obsidan frame.Also heres and idea for you story:the piggies learnt more and heal your legs,or they become neutral because it might have been centurys since you last meet them and their your friends sons and not your friend himself.you can help them by teaching them the way you thought your friend surviving.
This
Creeper eat gold sword and meat
EPIC