Could just be his friends being mean or something. They could be getting full of themselves and trying to impress others by the power of kicking. Thats how my friends are, thats why I switched to PC. For some reason, some kids my age thinks its cool to have online friends and ditch real life friends.
Sadly, I agree with you... And yes, the PC version might very well be the answer...
Online communities aren't usually very child-friendly. Your son should only play with people he knows or simply accept that some people dislike young players or are generally idiotic.
Hi there,
So I'm finding out. Sadly, these ARE kids that he knows (fellow 6th grade classmates)....guess he's going to have to make a distinction between "friends" and "peers"....
There really isn't a way to prevent this from happening. If someone joins another player's game, that player can kick them out on a whim if they so please, and not neccessarily for any reason.I'm sorry for you and hope that your son won't be discouraged from Minecraft, but there isn't a way of stopping this.
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My current avatar is: Raistlin Majere from the Dragonlance novels.
Hi I'll add my two cents worth. I don't know anything about how the x-box minecraft servers work. I do know how PC versions work and even then it takes some time to find a server that is the right "fit" for you. I do know that in the pc servers there are a few kid/family friendly ones out there and the staff are on top of things and the power to kick- mute-ban are not given to just anyone. It took me and my son a fair amount of looking but we found one a little over a year ago and are still there.
PS I'm a mom too.
Hey fellow-mom ...
Well, there does some to be a distinction between the two formats, with the Xbox seemingly not using servers per se. At any rate, I think we're likely going to explore going back to the PC version. Someone did suggest a family-friendly server in one of the earlier posts, which we're definitely going to check out.
Glad you and your son found the right one(s) for you, and thanks for adding your two cents....
It doesn't have to be bullying. It could be that it was just a random kick and that he can reconnect to the server again. Or there was a particular glitch or bug that your son has exploited.
Hi there...
No, it definitely was a purposeful thing, done for no "legitimate" reason -- that's why I considered it bullying. I appreciate your suggestions though...
Well, there does some to be a distinction between the two formats, with the Xbox seemingly not using servers per se. At any rate, I think we're likely going to explore going back to the PC version. Someone did suggest a family-friendly server in one of the earlier posts, which we're definitely going to check out.
Glad you and your son found the right one(s) for you, and thanks for adding your two cents....
Hi there...
No, it definitely was a purposeful thing, done for no "legitimate" reason -- that's why I considered it bullying. I appreciate your suggestions though...
You might be able to make your own server for the pc, depending on how good your internet is with just a quick google search, and then have your kid and his friends play on that? Then, if he doesn't give them "op" powers, he won't be able to get kicked again.
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"Map making isn't about painting a canvas, it's more like creating a giant block and carving a statue out of it."
This can happen and you should find some nice friendly servers,not childish servers with 12 year old admins who think they have the right to kick and ban players,without thinking twice about how it'll really hurt the victim player.
And imo you should get used to it,it's part of the internet,i once got bullied too by an european on an mmorpg,it's 2 years ago because i wasn't that good in english i got pwned hard and almost rage quitted,but finally rage quitted after finding my stuffs were all gone for no reason,i think my neighbor peeked when i was typing my password.
And im still trying to find out who was that bullying european guy,no avail :/
I'm sorry to hear you had a bullying experience as well. As you said though, it seems to be par for the course, and since there doesn't seem to be any real way to change the opportunities for bullying....the best bet will be to work around it.
As the saying goes, absolute power corrupts absolutely. With someone at that age, if they have the power it will be abused. If anything it sounds like the admin's parents need to be a little more involved with their kids online activities. It's tough at that age, trying to fit in, trying to be 'popular' or at least trying to be accepted. It sucks, for sure, but you sound like a good Mom that will make him realize this isn't on him.
It sounds like he was on a server with some 'friends' so the admin had to show how awesome he was by being a jerk. It's an unfortunate part of growing up, and hopefully he'll be able to realize quickly, being popular in school doesn't mean one iota once his school career has ended. Unfortunately I didn't realize this until later.
He must have at least one or two good friends he can start his own server with. I have a feeling you know all this already and as you said you were venting. I'm glad to see a lot of positive replies to your post, if anything to show there are a lot of good people on the internet, usually they tend to be the silent majority. Good luck to him in his future online playing, it is a lot of fun playing with someone you know and can trust completely.
Oh, and if you haven't already, you might try picking up that controller and playing along, since it's pretty easy on the XBox to coop on the same box from what I've read as well as on the PC now a days. Minecraft is quite fun and addicting. I've been playing steadily for a year come the 25th and have been having a great time. Mostly play single player, but I have one other friend I play on a server with now and then. People of all ages enjoy it, it's a great family game, you might want to give it a shot as well. I've heard of whole families on the PC making their own server and allowing only other family members or trusted friends of the family join in. Have fun!
Hi there,
I have to say, your response is definitely one of my favorites. I definitely hear where you're coming from, and I appreciate both your support and suggestions. Thanks very much.
Are these even his friends? If yes, then they're not very good friends, if no, why is he playing with them?
He was playing with some good friends first, then these other kids...who were other friends of the original friends...joined. So it can get a little tricky....because while he wouldn't necessarily seek out the "newer" kids joining, he still wanted to play with his "original" kids (I hope that makes sense)....but then the late-comers were the ones who kicked him out. Basically, it was his friends' friends...not his. Hard for a 12 year old to say "I won't play with you if so-and-so shows up".... Again, this is all going to be a good learning experience (though perhaps a painful one in the process)....
My solution is that he only plays with his real life friends, not random strangers or people he vaguely knows. He will have more fun and not be "kicked".
As I mentioned above, he was playing with good friends, then "peripheral friends"...who joined later in the game. Rightly so, he didn't want to stop playing with his good friends....but ended up getting booted by the newcomers. I think it's just going to take supervision and practise for him to figure out how to best play in these circumstances, and if he doesn't find it rewarding enough, he will likely refer back to either single player or the PC version (which he has played and enjoyed). He had looked forward to the Xbox version for a long time....
"oh no someone isn't treating my son like the special snowflake he is! he'll be scarred for life! call the cyber police, because this is some serious cyber-bullying!"
i hate my generation
why can't science hurry up and invent time machines so i can go live in 1977 and be happy
At first glance I'd say this is a troll (if so, a very successfull one). If not then here's my advice:
Teach your son the first rule of the internet, and learn it yourself as well: It's the internet.
Don't take anything that happens online too seriously, you're comparing being kicked of of servers to real-life bullying, which are two completely different things.
Sure, some people, if not most, are complete and utter dicks when playing online, but your son will just have to get used to that. When playing online it's important to learn to ignore the bad guys and learn to filter out the good ones, and stick with them.
I understand that your son may feel like he's being left out, but he'll just have to learn that this is the way the internet works.
TL;DR:
You and your son shouldn't take stuff that happens online too serious. Have a bad experience? Move on to a different server and start over.
First off, not a troll....just a mom.
Second, and regardless of your erroneous assumption, I do appreciate your insight and comments. While I'll continue to stand by my assertion that in this instance....being kicked out of a room for no good reason by kids he knows IS a form of bullying, I think you've pretty much summarized the only realistic ways to handle it. Will be doing my best to make this at the very least a learning experience...or as they say, "turning lemons into lemonade".
Well there a couple of things that could be the cause of your son being kicked. Even thought you hear him being well-mannered and he may even be respectful towards things others have built, he could be doing things that others don't like. For instance, on some servers you can get kicked for cutting down trees (everyone needs lumber, so it seems like a logical thing to do) but not replanting them, as it ruins the natural landscape.
The way it seems though is that your son is being bullied (however I don't agree that kicking people from servers is bullying). You say your son is playing on a school server? Who is moderating/supervising this server? Did one of the kids at school randomly start a server, gave out the info to join it and then cherry picks who gets to play based on whatever criteria his crazy little head concocts then there really is nothing you can do. If the school itself designated the server he is on to be the school's "server", then you should have a talk with the guidance counselor or principal.
The disadvantage of playing games on the Xbox (or PS3 or Wii) is that they are designed for convenience and ease of use - they try to get you in the game as fast as possible and you usually end up playing with people you really don't want to be with. I started online gaming over a decade ago and I was a little older than your son, and I still think I was much too young to start online gaming. It is a brutal and hellish environment. I'm involved in many different gaming communities, and I would suggest trying another game but minecraft is probably the most appealing game around across most age groups and has a great, helpful community when compared to Blizzard made games (starcraft 2, world of warcraft, diablo 3) and League of Legends.
What I would suggest doing is take initiative and look (with your son) for a server that is a proper fit to play on. I will say you are at a disadvantage owning the xbox version, but I'm sure there are other kids (and parents) out there that are looking for people to play with in your sons age group, in fact I'm sure there many kids that face the same issue your son is facing. These forums are a great springboard, start some threads in the appropriate forum looking for young teens, other parents, and family friendly people to either join a server or to start one with. Trust me, there are a lot of people looking for healthy online environments for their kids to play and not everyone minds having young teens play with them (heck on the server I mainly play on we have a 12 year old girl while everyone else is in their mid-late 20's). Make sure you set clear, simple rules. Have responsible adults be the ones in charge, take turns moderating.
Too many parents fall into the trap of just buying their kid online games and treating it like any other toy - that you just hand it to the kid and they shut up for a few months and there are no consequences.
Do NOT just post your son's gamer tag. Wait for people to respond and cherry pick who you think are good people for your son to play with. Some of them might lie and end up being complete pricks and not who you thought they were, in which case you will be very thankful that the server kick command exists - so try to be involved for the first few weeks of starting up.
Hey,
Thanks for all your comments and suggestions. Again, from what I can gather, there were no servers per se involved on the Xbox version....Just a few classmates playing together. It seems -- at least from what I'm hearing from the responses here -- that the servers are only on the PC version? So I'm either going to have to make sure he is being much more selective about his True Friends on Xbox, or play on the PC version using a more family-friendly server. Thank you for the link and the caveats to go along with it. This is all new territory for us (obviously )...
Making a PC server involves you 'opening' your router to allow other people to play on your Minecraft worlds (aka portforwarding), or you can play on someone else's server by typing in their IP adress while in multiplayer Minecraft. In Xbox, you can't do that, but you can still allow others to play on your worlds, so it is simmilar. PC is just more complicated to set up a server, whereas the Xbox version is more difficult to mod or install plugins. I haven't played Xbox Minecraft, so I'm not entirely sure, but it works something like that.
Holy hell, this thread is long. Not surprising, given the topic.
My two cents: there are two decent reasons a person gets kicked from a well-run server. Either he is being disruptive and/or destructive (griefing, doing things that overwork the server and make it lag, spamming the chat) or he is just an incredibly annoying person. This thread is too long and full of stupid for me to check if you've investigated this, but you should see if your boy is in either category. If he isn't, he's playing on a server run by people who get banned from servers worth playing on.
The biggest thing that separates internet bullying from real bullying is that you can just walk away and usually do the same thing with a different set of people.
A couple of thoughts. First, I think your initial comment about the thread being so long because of the topic is apt -- clearly, it's struck a nerve with more than a few people. If you consider it too long, that's certainly your perogative.
Second, had you read thru it, you'd have seen that my son didn't fall in either of the categories you've described. He was kicked out of a room for No Good Reason, by kids his age (12), not thru a server. In my book, that's bullying. If you want to qualify it differently than "real-life" bullying, so be it...but it's still bullying.
Well, the reason why the voice of a 12 year old goes to a voice of a 3 year old is because we haven't found out a better way to make stereo inputs (mics). They're still very basic and we kind of only jumped like, 3 versions from the first electronic microphone.
Hmm, interesting technical point...(though his friends sounded "normal" to my ears). I guess the point is moot in this case anyway, since they're all 12 year olds. Thanks though ...
If it's the whole 6th grade class, then it's bullying. What I'm thinking is that a bully somehow became OP somehow and kicked off your son. I'm not sure, he needs a more professional server to play on or something.
It's not the whole 6th grade, just a group of them ....and from what I can gather, there is no server or OP involved (on the Xbox version). Basically, one two different occasions one of his peers took it upon himself to kick him out -- after doing nothing wrong -- and so yes, I consider that bullying.
Regardless, if and when we do go the PC route, where the servers/OP's are utilized, we'll definitely be very particular about the servers he uses. I've already received some great suggestions from some of the other posters and think they'll be a great alternative if he continues to find the Xbox version not worth the hassle.
There really isn't a way to prevent this from happening. If someone joins another player's game, that player can kick them out on a whim if they so please, and not neccessarily for any reason.I'm sorry for you and hope that your son won't be discouraged from Minecraft, but there isn't a way of stopping this.
Hi there,
Yes, it does seem that there's little to be done about the structure of the system...so I guess the only hope is to work around it. The sad part was it was the new "cool" kids who came into the game after he was already in it with some of his other "less-cool" friends, who kicked him out. And while he can't know what transpired after he left, he surmised that his "less-cool" friends might have cared/noticed he was gone but were probably just happy to still be playing and a bit excited to be playing with the cool kids. (That last sentence is not a Minecraft-specific gripe, just a sad mom's commentary)...
I will say at this point though, I did share some of this thread with him earlier tonight and I think he was pretty pleased by the overall postive response. So thank you too for taking the time to comment.
You might be able to make your own server for the pc, depending on how good your internet is with just a quick google search, and then have your kid and his friends play on that? Then, if he doesn't give them "op" powers, he won't be able to get kicked again.
That sounds like a great idea. Will definitely run it by him in the AM ...Thanks!
"oh no someone isn't treating my son like the special snowflake he is! he'll be scarred for life! call the cyber police, because this is some serious cyber-bullying!"
i hate my generation
why can't science hurry up and invent time machines so i can go live in 1977 and be happy
LOL, I think you have mistakenly categorized me as someone from your generation; in 1977, I was 15 years old.
Regardless, thanks for the chuckle ("special snowflake"? really?)
Making a PC server involves you 'opening' your router to allow other people to play on your Minecraft worlds (aka portforwarding), or you can play on someone else's server by typing in their IP adress while in multiplayer Minecraft. In Xbox, you can't do that, but you can still allow others to play on your worlds, so it is simmilar. PC is just more complicated to set up a server, whereas the Xbox version is more difficult to mod or install plugins. I haven't played Xbox Minecraft, so I'm not entirely sure, but it works something like that.
There definitely seem to be pros and cons to both versions. I think we're going to have to do some more investigating and experimenting until we figure out the best way to go. This thread has actually been very helpful along those lines. Thank you again for your input.
If anyone that has posted anything in regards to this kid "growing up", or anything of the sort for that matter, you should be the one to grow up. Mojang should not and will never be held responsible unless they have some kind of direct affiliation with a certain server that involves a form of representation for Mojang.
@OP, If your son has been bullied in any form, you should take that up with the server officials/owners that are involved in the certain multi-player server he was in. I'm sure you realize that one of the most prominent forms of harassment is held through the medium of the Internet, which is much more flexible when it comes to laws being broken. I support you all the way, and I mean no disrespect towards you or your son, but matters like this should not be posted here, but rather taken up with the people that were involved.
Guys, to all of you assuming he's a little kid and needs to grow up, you shouldn't. I have seen MANY people ages 12-17 with the maturity of adults. Sorry if this has been stated before, I don't have the patience to go through 7 pages.
If anyone that has posted anything in regards to this kid "growing up", or anything of the sort for that matter, you should be the one to grow up. Mojang should not and will never be held responsible unless they have some kind of direct affiliation with a certain server that involves a form of representation for Mojang.
@OP, If your son has been bullied in any form, you should take that up with the server officials/owners that are involved in the certain multi-player server he was in. I'm sure you realize that one of the most prominent forms of harassment is held through the medium of the Internet, which is much more flexible when it comes to laws being broken. I support you all the way, and I mean no disrespect towards you or your son, but matters like this should not be posted here, but rather taken up with the people that were involved.
Hello,
As I've indicated earlier, there were no servers involved in this situation. It was a matter of some of his peers, acting of their own volition and self-appointed authority, kicking him out of a game he was in before they arrived. Accordingly, and new to the system, I was questioning the Kicking Out feature -- because though I realize now, through the information I've garnered on this thread, that there is a certain necessity for it, I still feel that his particular circumstance involved an abuse of that feature and he was bullied. And since this happened while he was playing Minecraft....I found it (and still find it) completely reasonable to vent my frustrations on a Minecraft Discussion forum. Was there anything to be done to address the situation? I didn't know coming in here. However since then, while I've learned the system can't be changed, more importantly I've been given some very practical advice and welcome support.
So frankly, I don't entirely understand your concerns. But from what I can gather, and with all due respect to you, I resent your insinuations. I'm not looking to sue anyone...or to cause trouble. I'm just trying to help my son navigate his way happily and successfully through a new game he got for Christmas.
Guys, to all of you assuming he's a little kid and needs to grow up, you shouldn't. I have seen MANY people ages 12-17 with the maturity of adults. Sorry if this has been stated before, I don't have the patience to go through 7 pages.
Point well-taken, thanks for your thoughts on the matter.
Okay, so you say that he was kicked out for no reason. This does not happen. There are many people who can be kicked out of games for things such as killing people, destroying their creations, and robbing them. I get the feeling that he is not being completely honest with you about what he did. You can defend him all you want, but he was not kicked out for no reason. And if it really makes him sad enough for you to have to post about it, I feel bad for him. He needs to get a life. A video game should not be able to affect someone's mood in such a way. Try having him play a sport.
so it would appear, huh
Sadly, I agree with you... And yes, the PC version might very well be the answer...
I don't claim to speak for anyone else, so I don't understand your comment.
You're probably right. Sounds like it's a free-for-all out there....
I never suggested I was surprised -- just disheartened.
Hi there,
So I'm finding out. Sadly, these ARE kids that he knows (fellow 6th grade classmates)....guess he's going to have to make a distinction between "friends" and "peers"....
Thanks!
I doubt him being a troll, most trolls try to be really really polite and end up clearly wrong. He isn't trying to be fancy, so I'd expect not.
Hey fellow-mom ...
Well, there does some to be a distinction between the two formats, with the Xbox seemingly not using servers per se. At any rate, I think we're likely going to explore going back to the PC version. Someone did suggest a family-friendly server in one of the earlier posts, which we're definitely going to check out.
Glad you and your son found the right one(s) for you, and thanks for adding your two cents....
Hi there...
No, it definitely was a purposeful thing, done for no "legitimate" reason -- that's why I considered it bullying. I appreciate your suggestions though...
You might be able to make your own server for the pc, depending on how good your internet is with just a quick google search, and then have your kid and his friends play on that? Then, if he doesn't give them "op" powers, he won't be able to get kicked again.
I'm sorry to hear you had a bullying experience as well. As you said though, it seems to be par for the course, and since there doesn't seem to be any real way to change the opportunities for bullying....the best bet will be to work around it.
Good luck to you, and thanks for posting.
Hi there,
I have to say, your response is definitely one of my favorites. I definitely hear where you're coming from, and I appreciate both your support and suggestions. Thanks very much.
He was playing with some good friends first, then these other kids...who were other friends of the original friends...joined. So it can get a little tricky....because while he wouldn't necessarily seek out the "newer" kids joining, he still wanted to play with his "original" kids (I hope that makes sense)....but then the late-comers were the ones who kicked him out. Basically, it was his friends' friends...not his. Hard for a 12 year old to say "I won't play with you if so-and-so shows up".... Again, this is all going to be a good learning experience (though perhaps a painful one in the process)....
As I mentioned above, he was playing with good friends, then "peripheral friends"...who joined later in the game. Rightly so, he didn't want to stop playing with his good friends....but ended up getting booted by the newcomers. I think it's just going to take supervision and practise for him to figure out how to best play in these circumstances, and if he doesn't find it rewarding enough, he will likely refer back to either single player or the PC version (which he has played and enjoyed). He had looked forward to the Xbox version for a long time....
i hate my generation
why can't science hurry up and invent time machines so i can go live in 1977 and be happy
First off, not a troll....just a mom.
Second, and regardless of your erroneous assumption, I do appreciate your insight and comments. While I'll continue to stand by my assertion that in this instance....being kicked out of a room for no good reason by kids he knows IS a form of bullying, I think you've pretty much summarized the only realistic ways to handle it. Will be doing my best to make this at the very least a learning experience...or as they say, "turning lemons into lemonade".
Thanks again.
He was playing with other 12 (and some 11) year olds... (though I do understand how that might be an issue if he were playing with older kids)...
Hey,
Thanks for all your comments and suggestions. Again, from what I can gather, there were no servers per se involved on the Xbox version....Just a few classmates playing together. It seems -- at least from what I'm hearing from the responses here -- that the servers are only on the PC version? So I'm either going to have to make sure he is being much more selective about his True Friends on Xbox, or play on the PC version using a more family-friendly server. Thank you for the link and the caveats to go along with it. This is all new territory for us (obviously )...
A couple of thoughts. First, I think your initial comment about the thread being so long because of the topic is apt -- clearly, it's struck a nerve with more than a few people. If you consider it too long, that's certainly your perogative.
Second, had you read thru it, you'd have seen that my son didn't fall in either of the categories you've described. He was kicked out of a room for No Good Reason, by kids his age (12), not thru a server. In my book, that's bullying. If you want to qualify it differently than "real-life" bullying, so be it...but it's still bullying.
Hmm, interesting technical point...(though his friends sounded "normal" to my ears). I guess the point is moot in this case anyway, since they're all 12 year olds. Thanks though ...
It's not the whole 6th grade, just a group of them ....and from what I can gather, there is no server or OP involved (on the Xbox version). Basically, one two different occasions one of his peers took it upon himself to kick him out -- after doing nothing wrong -- and so yes, I consider that bullying.
Regardless, if and when we do go the PC route, where the servers/OP's are utilized, we'll definitely be very particular about the servers he uses. I've already received some great suggestions from some of the other posters and think they'll be a great alternative if he continues to find the Xbox version not worth the hassle.
Thanks again for your comments.
Sorry to hear that....hang in there!
Hi again Mathy ...
Thanks for the support -- nope, not a troll. And for the record, not a "he" either...I'm the Mom ...
Hi there,
Yes, it does seem that there's little to be done about the structure of the system...so I guess the only hope is to work around it. The sad part was it was the new "cool" kids who came into the game after he was already in it with some of his other "less-cool" friends, who kicked him out. And while he can't know what transpired after he left, he surmised that his "less-cool" friends might have cared/noticed he was gone but were probably just happy to still be playing and a bit excited to be playing with the cool kids. (That last sentence is not a Minecraft-specific gripe, just a sad mom's commentary)...
I will say at this point though, I did share some of this thread with him earlier tonight and I think he was pretty pleased by the overall postive response. So thank you too for taking the time to comment.
That sounds like a great idea. Will definitely run it by him in the AM ...Thanks!
LOL, I think you have mistakenly categorized me as someone from your generation; in 1977, I was 15 years old.
Regardless, thanks for the chuckle ("special snowflake"? really?)
There definitely seem to be pros and cons to both versions. I think we're going to have to do some more investigating and experimenting until we figure out the best way to go. This thread has actually been very helpful along those lines. Thank you again for your input.
@OP, If your son has been bullied in any form, you should take that up with the server officials/owners that are involved in the certain multi-player server he was in. I'm sure you realize that one of the most prominent forms of harassment is held through the medium of the Internet, which is much more flexible when it comes to laws being broken. I support you all the way, and I mean no disrespect towards you or your son, but matters like this should not be posted here, but rather taken up with the people that were involved.
Hello,
As I've indicated earlier, there were no servers involved in this situation. It was a matter of some of his peers, acting of their own volition and self-appointed authority, kicking him out of a game he was in before they arrived. Accordingly, and new to the system, I was questioning the Kicking Out feature -- because though I realize now, through the information I've garnered on this thread, that there is a certain necessity for it, I still feel that his particular circumstance involved an abuse of that feature and he was bullied. And since this happened while he was playing Minecraft....I found it (and still find it) completely reasonable to vent my frustrations on a Minecraft Discussion forum. Was there anything to be done to address the situation? I didn't know coming in here. However since then, while I've learned the system can't be changed, more importantly I've been given some very practical advice and welcome support.
So frankly, I don't entirely understand your concerns. But from what I can gather, and with all due respect to you, I resent your insinuations. I'm not looking to sue anyone...or to cause trouble. I'm just trying to help my son navigate his way happily and successfully through a new game he got for Christmas.
Point well-taken, thanks for your thoughts on the matter.