Also your opening isn't a very compelling hook, its just Y did X.
You could try more description like
My breathing became heavier and my already taxed heart pounded in my chest like it was trying to escape. The smoke filled the air, pouring in from every direction and rising to form great pillars, magnificent and gargantuan products of the untold horror and devastation below. The blazes, (description of what blazes are) were unrelenting, the empire that was my life burned at their command, and I choked in the ash that was my glory, my definition, my being.
Ofc i'm not a best but that is one way you could help setup a more enticing hook.
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It has been since time immemorial that man has looked to the stars in wonder, so I ask you, how can going to them be anything but an extension of a will older than any of us? It is our very nature to discover, and to lust for knowledge, you accept this but doubt the nobility of working to the stars?
I feel for the janitor, he has so much to clean in the MCF school these days.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
It has been since time immemorial that man has looked to the stars in wonder, so I ask you, how can going to them be anything but an extension of a will older than any of us? It is our very nature to discover, and to lust for knowledge, you accept this but doubt the nobility of working to the stars?
So I decided to reacquaint myself with the minimum words to write per day for NaNo, and find to my comfort it's 1667 words. Which means it's roughly a third of what I write on a regular basis for RPs.
I am actually disappointed, I looked around MCF and the average quality is... Not exemplary...
Is there a ranking of level or something?
I can see PoW standing at the top, but the gap between it and the rest of the forum seems to be hella big.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
It has been since time immemorial that man has looked to the stars in wonder, so I ask you, how can going to them be anything but an extension of a will older than any of us? It is our very nature to discover, and to lust for knowledge, you accept this but doubt the nobility of working to the stars?
So I decided to reacquaint myself with the minimum words to write per day for NaNo, and find to my comfort it's 1667 words. Which means it's roughly a third of what I write on a regular basis for RPs.
Every day will be difficult...
The way I figure it, i'm fine so long as I get 10k words done a week. Though that first week will be a squeeze, since it consists of only the first and the second, I probably work both those days, and the 1st is my birthday so it will involve some BS distractions.
I am actually disappointed, I looked around MCF and the average quality is... Not exemplary...
Is there a ranking of level or something?
I can see PoW standing at the top, but the gap between it and the rest of the forum seems to be hella big.
Usually we rank then from Casual, Intermediate, to Hardcore. This is where Hardcore is Precipice level, Casual is closer to one line forum games, and intermediate is everything else in between. So intermediate covers a lot of ground.
There were more competent Intermediate RP's in the past, but they seem to be dwindling. I think that group just lost interest, or they started to spend more time in Hardcore RPs. I think at this point the MCF is experiencing a heat death of sorts, where the casuals and the more casual-intermediates are pumping out so many RPs that none of them can last. Combine that with the fact that Hardcore RPers tend to be older and have real world responsibilities, and everything skews a certain way.
“The [adjective] [adjective] sun rose in the [adjective] [adjective] sky, shedding its [adjective] light across the [adjective] [adjective] [adjective] land.”
We're looking at you, Hugs =p
But yeh, I think if I am guilty of any of this it would be accounting. I feel like I should explain myself more then is probably healthy for the story.
Go away and disappear before Halloween comes.
'kay, guess that RP of mine that you joined will have to wait, huh?
I'll just take over.
I am the main (and only) mod.
Lol, you know I'm not leaving... like it or not, you're stuck with me!
I never said anything bad about you leaving.
And this is...?
That was a statement, not an insult.
Of course, either way, I'm not going anywhere.
On a related note, I finally posted my RP. Yay me.
(shameless plug time)
http://www.minecraftforum.net/topic/2052666-when-giants-fall-placeholder-title-interest-check/
Also your opening isn't a very compelling hook, its just Y did X.
You could try more description like
My breathing became heavier and my already taxed heart pounded in my chest like it was trying to escape. The smoke filled the air, pouring in from every direction and rising to form great pillars, magnificent and gargantuan products of the untold horror and devastation below. The blazes, (description of what blazes are) were unrelenting, the empire that was my life burned at their command, and I choked in the ash that was my glory, my definition, my being.
Ofc i'm not a best but that is one way you could help setup a more enticing hook.
FIRST PERSON. DANGER, DANGER.
Second, you spelt existence incorrectly.
Thirdly, the title sounds like an honestly extremely obvious attempt at sounding 'deep'
So... it's another one of those 'U CAN B WHATEV U WANT!' sandbox Rps?
I feel for the janitor, he has so much to clean in the MCF school these days.
My DeviantArt, so sexy
Is there a ranking of level or something?
I can see PoW standing at the top, but the gap between it and the rest of the forum seems to be hella big.
Time to get the RP communists in here. The inequality is too damn high. We are the 1%.
Every day will be difficult...
The way I figure it, i'm fine so long as I get 10k words done a week. Though that first week will be a squeeze, since it consists of only the first and the second, I probably work both those days, and the 1st is my birthday so it will involve some BS distractions.
Usually we rank then from Casual, Intermediate, to Hardcore. This is where Hardcore is Precipice level, Casual is closer to one line forum games, and intermediate is everything else in between. So intermediate covers a lot of ground.
There were more competent Intermediate RP's in the past, but they seem to be dwindling. I think that group just lost interest, or they started to spend more time in Hardcore RPs. I think at this point the MCF is experiencing a heat death of sorts, where the casuals and the more casual-intermediates are pumping out so many RPs that none of them can last. Combine that with the fact that Hardcore RPers tend to be older and have real world responsibilities, and everything skews a certain way.
My DeviantArt, so sexy
“The [adjective] [adjective] sun rose in the [adjective] [adjective] sky, shedding its [adjective] light across the [adjective] [adjective] [adjective] land.”
We're looking at you, Hugs =p
But yeh, I think if I am guilty of any of this it would be accounting. I feel like I should explain myself more then is probably healthy for the story.