May 10, 2009
Notch begins working on "Cave Game", but doesn't release it to the public because he's a dick like that. Everybody gets angry and quits playing Cave Game; Mojang goes bankrupt.
May 14, 2009
"Cave Game" is renamed "Minecraft: Order of the Stone" or some bullshit. Everybody gets angry about the new name and quits playing; Mojang goes bankrupt.
May 17, 2009
Minecraft is released to the public (AKA n00bs and posers) for the first time ever. Everybody quits playing Minecraft so they won't be mistaken for a n00b or poser; Mojang goes bankrupt.
June 1, 2009
Multiplayer functionality is theoretically added, but the public doesn't have access to it because Mojang is a bunch of dicks like that. Everybody quits playing Minecraft; Mojang goes bankrupt.
June 8, 2009
Multiplayer functionality is released to the public. Everybody quits playing Minecraft in order to avoid interacting with the n00bs and posers; Mojang goes bankrupt.
July 11, 2009
Notch implements the "options" screen. Options, Notch? Seriously? You wanted players to have OPTIONS? Everybody quits playing Minecraft; Mojang goes bankrupt.
August 4, 2009
Notch adds a "Survival" mode in which you are still indestructible. What the hell is this guy smoking? Everybody quits playing Minecraft; Mojang goes bankrupt.
August 18, 2009
Wait, players can actually DIE in Survival mode now? NOOOOOO!! Everybody quits playing Minecraft; Mojang goes bankrupt.
August 31, 2009
Creepers make Minecraft effectively unplayable. Everybody ragequits; Mojang goes bankrupt.
October 22, 2009
Rain makes Minecraft so laggy as to be unplayable on any computer made more than 15 years ago. Everybody ragequits; Mojang goes bankrupt.
December 23, 2009
Development on Classic ceases; Notch focuses all of his attention on some new game called "Indev". Everybody quits playing; Mojang goes bankrupt.
January 29, 2010
Notch adds something called "crafting" to a game called "Minecraft". Everybody gets confused and quits playing; Mojang goes bankrupt.
February 5, 2010
Adjustable difficulty, including a "peaceful" setting? You added a PEACEFUL setting to SURVIVAL mode, Notch? Blasphemy! Everybody quits playing Minecraft; Mojang goes bankrupt.
February 6, 2010
Minecraft as we know it ceases to exist, and becomes all about farming instead. Everybody quits playing Minecraft; Mojang goes bankrupt.
February 27, 2010
Notch abandons Indev to work on some new game called "Infdev". Everybody quits playing; Mojang goes bankrupt.
June 17, 2010
Notch adds the ability to die of suffocation when glitches entomb you in solid blocks, making the game unplayable. Everybody ragequits; Mojang goes bankrupt.
July 3, 2010
Wool now regrows on sheared sheep. Nobody ever complains about sheep again, nor suggests how they can be further improved.
July 9, 2010
Notch adds worthless Hoth biome and several new bugs, just because he's a dick like that. Everybody quits playing Minecraft; Mojang goes bankrupt.
July 16, 2010
Notch continues dicking around with the Hoth biome and adds even MORE bugs, just because he's a dick like that. Everybody quits playing Minecraft; Mojang goes bankrupt.
July 22, 2010
Notch finally allows us to play multiplayer survival, but only on the Mojang server, and only if we're invited, because Mojang is a bunch of dicks like that. Everybody who doesn't get invited quits playing Minecraft in a jealous rage; Mojang goes bankrupt.
August 4, 2010
Alpha is released, finally allowing any seven-year-old retard to set up his or her own multiplayer survival server. Everybody quits playing Minecraft because there aren't any "good" servers; Mojang goes bankrupt.
August 20, 2010
Notch adds several new bugs, just because he's a dick like that. Everybody quits playing Minecraft; Mojang goes bankrupt.
October 30, 2010
The Halloween update adds a completely bullshit "hell" dimension to what was otherwise a flawlessly realistic game. Everybody quits playing Minecraft; Mojang goes bankrupt.
(more to come; feel free to suggest your own)
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1
Mojang's long history of killing Minecraft
Started by
BlackMonarch
, Nov 12 2011 02:57 AM
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This topic is locked
64 replies to this topic
#1
BlackMonarch
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- Members
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Void Walker
Posted 12 November 2011 - 02:57 AM
Attention, retards: "just ignore what you don't like", "just play 1.7.3", "just play creative", and "just quit" are NOT valid solutions. If you don't understand why, then you don't understand the issue at all, and need to STFU. Get it?
#2
Jcdesimp
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- Members
- 625 posts
Redstone Miner
- Minecraft: Jcdesimp
Posted 12 November 2011 - 03:00 AM
This Is one of the funniest posts I've seen on this since I joined.
#3
kalih27
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Coal Miner
- Location: 1st dimension, Milky way, Orion-Cygnus Arm, Sol, Earth, North-West hemisphere, U.S.A., Ohio, Central Ohio
- Minecraft: kalih27
Posted 12 November 2011 - 03:00 AM
Hmm... bankrupt much?
<- Click it. (I know you want to)
#4
Dinoswarleaf
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Lapis Lazuli Collector
- Location: minecraftia
- Minecraft: 3000hunter
Posted 12 November 2011 - 03:00 AM
[url=http://www.minecraftforum.net/viewtopic.php
f=31&t=167827]
[/url]
f=31&t=167827]
[/url]
#5
Relly200117
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Coal Miner
Posted 12 November 2011 - 03:01 AM
Mojang has gone bankrupt over 20 times, damn they can really bounce back 
#6
Adebar
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Lapis Lazuli Collector
Posted 12 November 2011 - 03:01 AM
Awesome sarcasm is awesome.
If something I said offended you, you can take it up with my plot.
#7
bryan21122112
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Lapis Lazuli Collector
- Location: Massachusetts, US
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- Xbox:assassin tokito
Posted 12 November 2011 - 03:01 AM
Is this to be funny sarcasm or are you really that ignorant?
Here's a link to the Let's Play! I have with my friend Demonox!
Retired Moderator on Craftyn Towny
Retired Moderator on Craftyn Towny
#8
kingdavidd
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Coal Miner
Posted 12 November 2011 - 03:03 AM
November 11, 2011
1.9.6 comes out and features the end of the game, everyone beats it and stops playing the game; Mojang goes bankrupt.
1.9.6 comes out and features the end of the game, everyone beats it and stops playing the game; Mojang goes bankrupt.
#9
vX_INSANIAC_Xv
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Gold Miner
- Location: England
- Minecraft: vX_INSANIAC_Xv
Posted 12 November 2011 - 03:03 AM
That must have been a nice waste of time for you.
#10
Dinoswarleaf
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Lapis Lazuli Collector
- Location: minecraftia
- Minecraft: 3000hunter
Posted 12 November 2011 - 03:05 AM
kingdavidd, on 12 November 2011 - 03:03 AM, said:
November 11, 2011
1.9.6 comes out and features the end of the game, everyone beats it and stops playing the game; Mojang goes bankrupt.
1.9.6 comes out and features the end of the game, everyone beats it and stops playing the game; Mojang goes bankrupt.
[url=http://www.minecraftforum.net/viewtopic.php
f=31&t=167827][/url]
f=31&t=167827]
[/url]
#11
Vimerius
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Redstone Miner
- Location: Fallopian Tube
- Minecraft: Sakuchi
Posted 12 November 2011 - 03:05 AM
November 12, 2011
The Full Release is going to come out very soon, but Notch hasn't released it yet, because he's a dick like that. Everybody throws their computer because they have Minecraft in it and bought a new one WITHOUT Minecraft, and thus "Minecraft" is now called "Minecrap" with only 1 server and 1 person in it whose name is "Notch" that's a fucking dipshit that smokes weed and rapes little boys down the alley with gay Ghasts.
The Full Release is going to come out very soon, but Notch hasn't released it yet, because he's a dick like that. Everybody throws their computer because they have Minecraft in it and bought a new one WITHOUT Minecraft, and thus "Minecraft" is now called "Minecrap" with only 1 server and 1 person in it whose name is "Notch" that's a fucking dipshit that smokes weed and rapes little boys down the alley with gay Ghasts.
#12
kingdavidd
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Coal Miner
Posted 12 November 2011 - 03:05 AM
Dinoswarleaf, on 12 November 2011 - 03:05 AM, said:
...wait you agree?
#13
KrloOs
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Diamond Miner
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Posted 12 November 2011 - 03:05 AM
hahaha too many bankrupts, so you're saying you've been playing MC from a long time ago and hating it, but still being a considerable participant in the forums and probably you still play it?? you really have a problem boy 
#14
Champer99
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Carpenter
- Location: Toronto, Ontario
Posted 12 November 2011 - 03:07 AM
I pretty sure he is just trolling. well.. maybe.
#15
BlackMonarch
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- Members
- 1597 posts
Void Walker
Posted 12 November 2011 - 03:09 AM
I just love the fact that some people STILL don't get that this is sarcasm. 
Attention, retards: "just ignore what you don't like", "just play 1.7.3", "just play creative", and "just quit" are NOT valid solutions. If you don't understand why, then you don't understand the issue at all, and need to STFU. Get it?
#16
bobmister
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- Members
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Carpenter
- Minecraft: bobmister
Posted 12 November 2011 - 03:09 AM
why not add notch adds potions game gets complicated and even less realistic, mojang gets rich then bankruped
#17
EpicNade
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Stone Miner
- Minecraft: EpicNade
Posted 12 November 2011 - 03:10 AM
At first I was like this: 
then like this: 
then like this: 
then like this: then like this:
#18
Sir_Veillance
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Ghast Hunter
- Location: United States
- Minecraft: Sir_Veillance
Posted 12 November 2011 - 03:17 AM
BlackMonarch, on 12 November 2011 - 03:09 AM, said:
I just love the fact that some people STILL don't get that this is sarcasm.
#19
Jcdesimp
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Redstone Miner
- Minecraft: Jcdesimp
Posted 12 November 2011 - 03:27 AM
Sir_Veillance, on 12 November 2011 - 03:17 AM, said:
I know, I was laughing so hard while I read this, then I started reading the comments and was unable to breath for about 3 minutes... I wonder if anyone has actually died from laughter...
#20
TXF
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Diamond Miner
- Minecraft: TXFDA
Posted 12 November 2011 - 03:29 AM
Sakuchi, on 12 November 2011 - 03:05 AM, said:
November 12, 2011
The Full Release is going to come out very soon, but Notch hasn't released it yet, because he's a dick like that. Everybody throws their computer because they have Minecraft in it and bought a new one WITHOUT Minecraft, and thus "Minecraft" is now called "Minecrap" with only 1 server and 1 person in it whose name is "Notch" that's a fucking dipshit that smokes weed and rapes little boys down the alley with gay Ghasts.
The Full Release is going to come out very soon, but Notch hasn't released it yet, because he's a dick like that. Everybody throws their computer because they have Minecraft in it and bought a new one WITHOUT Minecraft, and thus "Minecraft" is now called "Minecrap" with only 1 server and 1 person in it whose name is "Notch" that's a fucking dipshit that smokes weed and rapes little boys down the alley with gay Ghasts.
You forgot mojang going bankrupt.
