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The Legend of Herobrine


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Poll: The Legend of Herobrine (19 member(s) have cast votes)

Shall i keep making chapters?

  1. Hell yea! (17 votes [89.47%])

    Percentage of vote: 89.47%

  2. No thanks (2 votes [10.53%])

    Percentage of vote: 10.53%

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#1

XxTechCatxX
  • Location: Denmark
  • Minecraft: kenn3111

Posted 03 October 2011 - 03:22 PM

Signatures Posted Imagethanks to iLuke106




Chapter 1: A Mysterious World.

My name is William and I am fourteen years old, I live in Spain, but I come from England. I lived here since I was four years old. My mom is named Margeret and my dad is named Peter. I don't have any brothers.
I was walking my way to school, it was a summer day and the weather was very good. The way to school is pretty long, i used to take the bus to school. I looked on my watch, my class starts soon, i dont wanna miss it! I started to run, i could see my school in the distance, but suddenly a massive earthquake started, i had a sense of panic, i could see a big crack on the road, it suddenly opened and i fell into it.

It was very dark, i couldn't see anything, I am death? Suddenly i could see a tiny light in the distance, it became lighter and i realised that i was falling down. I can see a big beautiful landscape, with trees and a small lake, i could feel the wind in my head, i fell down next to a mountain, i grab the edge of the mountain, i could feel a pain in my hand, it feeld like my hand was broken. I climb up on the mountain. I sat down on my knees, and a tear was rolling down my cheek. I didnt know where i was, i was lonley lost in the big mysterious world. I could see the sun in the sky, I looked down and saw a pink thing swimming in the lake. It was a pig, and i was starving. But i couldn't just eat raw pig that would be disgusting. I started to climb down the mountain, i succeed. I was standing on the grassy dirt, i looked around and thought about what i was gonna do. I wonder if there is anybody in this mysterious world, then i yelled "Hello!?" no answer, i yelled again "Hello, anybody there?!" it was ridiculous, stopped yelling. I need to get shelter, i looked at some trees, then i begun to walk over to a three, it was small, it had dark wood. Then i started to punch it, my hand was in pain, but after some time i got one piece of wood, i punched one more piece of wood out, my hand was in horrible pain now, i need to get an axe. I tried to make a wooden axe, it was a very bad axe, i hope it will last long enough. I started to chop down wood with my wooden axe, the tree fell and almost hit me. I got the last wood from the tree and my axe was broken, putted the axe in my pocket on my pants. I created a Workbench out of four pieces of wood, then i started to create a pickaxe, so i could mine stone, and make my axe better. The sun was going down slowly, i need shelter quickly as possible, i saw a cave and ran to it, i could see some black ore in the dark, i begun to walk down to it and mine it. I mined it and crafted eight torches, i climbed up again. It was very dark, i placed a torch on the ground, i heard sounds and could see something white in the distance. I knew this wasn't good. The white thing looked at me, it had dark eyes, no eyes. It was a skeleton. It started to run towards to me and it had a bow, it started to shoot arrows at me. I ran fast as i could. I saw some red eyes in the distance, i didn't know what it was and i didn't wanted to. I started to dig until i reached stone, putted a torch down and dirt over me so no monsters would fall down, i expanded the area so i actually could move. I putted down my workbench and made myself a sword out of stone, so i would be prepared for something unexpected. I could hear noises above me, moaning and groaning, and i could hear the skeleton shooting after something. But this was only the beginning. I removed some stone on the ground and placed dirt, and i lied down on it, and then i begun to sleep.

Chapter 2: Creepers and Endermens.

Dirt was crumbling down in my face, it woke me the torch was out and all the noises was gone. I was very quite without making any move. There is something walking up there. I slowly tried to remove the dirt, as i looked up on the ground, nothing insight i could see something at a tree it was very green. It turned around it had a sad face and dark eyes. I run towards me, i quickly got up and ran but i fell, and the green thing got over to me, it had four legs and no arms. Then it explode and it threw me into a stone wall. I fall down on the ground rolling around in suffer, i could something walking, and making cow sounds. I tried to stand up, but i fell down on the ground again. I open my bag, and took out my stone sword, i got up, i ran toward the sound, then i almost hit it until i realised it was a cow, but i killed it and skinned it skin with my sword, took its meat. "I must make myself a house" I said then i grab my broken wooden axe and changed it into a stone axe, it was still horrible and probably would not last very long. I started to chop some trees. I have been chopping trees in a long time now, then i saw a cave and decided to explore it. I wanderer down in the cave, it was very dark, i took out some torches, and placed one on the ground. I saw a silver looking ore, i walking to it, then i looked at my wooden pickaxe and it wouldn't be strong enough to mine it. I took out some stone and replaced the wood with stone, and started to mine it. I mined four pieces of the strange ore. When i turn around a tall black thing with purple eyes, looked at me, and i dropped the strange ore on the ground, there was shadow coming out of its body, it opened its mouth and started to scream for a bit. it didn't make any move, i started to backup and trying to escape it. I turned around and then.. It really started to yell, i started to run. I looked behind me it was almost close to me, i saw the exit and climbed up, while the monster was right behind me. I realized that it teleport to me. I was out, it started to yell really loud i turned around and realized that it started to burn, it will die in sunlight. I took my sword and killed it. He dropped these change pearls, i took it and putted in my bag. I took one of the pearls and experiments with it. It was ridiculous and then i threw it away, then i had a strange felling in my stomach, i was teleport, i teleport where i throw the pearl!

I took up my Wood from my bag and made it into wooden planks, i created myself a house, i got some sand and made a furnace. I tried to cook the sand and it changed into glass, i took the strange ore and tried to cook it, it turned into iron! It was nighttime but now i have a house to hide in. I took some wool that i got from a sheep, and created myself a bed, and then i fell into sleep. A strange scream woke me up, it was still nighttime. I turned on the torches, with my flint and steel i created myself, i looked outside there was nothing insight so i started to sleep again. But after few minutes the scream was there again, i created myself a sword out of iron, and walked out. I looked around, i could see something green, and a pig. But nothing else insight, then i saw a human, there was scream, because one of these black things, i call it Enderman, it was a girl i could see, i ran over to here, i stabbed the Enderman with my iron sword in its back. It was scream out loud, and then it disappeared and two of these pearls dropped again. "Take my hand" I said to her. She didn't answer she just took my hand, then i threw one of these pearls over to my house. It was thrown in my house and suddenly we was in my house. "You have to lie down" I said to her. She lied down on my bed without saying anything. This was the begging of a adventure.

Chapter 3: A new friend

I rubbed my eyes, the sun was shining into my window. I stood up and yelled "Good morning mom" There was no answer, then i realized i was still in this mysterious world, but not alone anymore. I looked at the bed where the girl had lied, she was gone. He wasn't here, she left me. I looked out my window, then i opened my door and looked around the area. I sighed, i saw a cow skinny dipping in the lake, and a chicken jumping around at the trees. But i realized, that the cow had white eyes and no pupils. I looked at it in sometime, then it turned around and continue skinny dipping. I rubbed my eyes for a second, i never seen a cow with no pupils. I tried to forget it, and walked away from the lake, i looked around for the girl. There was no in sight. I yelled "Hello?!" no answer. I walked inside, and made myself some tools and a chest for my resources, then suddenly someone opened the door and it was the girl again. She was holding wood in her hands, and some coal. "Hello, i was just collecting resources" She said with a smile on her face. She opened the chest, and putted all the stuff down in the chest. "Where have you been, i was worried that i was alone, again" I said to her. I told to her, that i saw a cow with no pupils, and i asked her if she knew anything about that, she didn't.

Next day we made a kitchen, and a dinning room. We was proud of our house, and we expanded it, we don't share room anymore, she has one room and i have another. It took the whole day to do that, then it was nighttime. I was hungry and our Food chest was empty. Then i looked out the window if i could see any pigs, i could see one but it was pretty far. Then i opened the door, i looked left and right to see if any monsters was here, i ran to the pig, but suddenly i saw a spider, it was black really black, with red shining eyes in the dark. It looked at me for few seconds, i didn't bring any sword. It jumped on me, trying to bite me. I kicked it away from me into a tree. Then a arrow flied across the air from my house to the spider, the girl was standing on the roof, with a bow in her hand. The spider wasn't yet, it hissed at me and it jumped on me again. I kicked it away, into the lake and punched it in its eye, then a arrow flied and hit it, and it died. It dropped two string for me, i took it. Not enough to make a bow. The pig was still there i ran over to it and killed it. I cut some meat off it, and took it back to the house. I opened the door, and started to cook the meat. "What we're you doing out there?!" she asked. "I was getting some meat" I answered. She sighed. I took out cooked meat and started to eat.

Chapter 4: The man with no eyes.

I woke up, it was still night. Maria was still sleeping, i turned my head and looked out the window, i could see a zombie walking around outside, i tried to sleep again. I fell asleep, but suddenly i woke up, and a man with brown beard, and brown hear and a blue shirt, with no eyes was looking in my window, i was shocked and i fell out of my bed, i tried to wake Marie. She woke up with a question "What, what is it" and she rubbed her eyes. "Look at the window" I said with a shaking voice. She looked out a window and saw the man with white eyes, and she gasped. "Who is that?!" she yelled. Poof, and he was gone. And he left smoke behind. "I don't dare to sleep now" I said with a shaking voice. -CHAPTER IS NOT DONE-
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#2

LSafin
    LSafin

    Zombie Killer

  • Members
  • 200 posts
  • Location: Denmark
  • Minecraft: LSafin
  • Xbox:L Safin

Posted 03 October 2011 - 03:27 PM

COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#3

AngleDemon

Posted 03 October 2011 - 03:28 PM

awsome story bor :)

#4

LSafin
    LSafin

    Zombie Killer

  • Members
  • 200 posts
  • Location: Denmark
  • Minecraft: LSafin
  • Xbox:L Safin

Posted 03 October 2011 - 03:29 PM

View PostLSafin, on 03 October 2011 - 03:27 PM, said:

COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You are a COOOOOOOOL STACK OF AWESomENesSS

#5

ThEwOtSiT182
  • Location: London
  • Minecraft: ThEwOtSiT182

Posted 03 October 2011 - 03:35 PM

Its pretty good and has good ideas. But it could be improved, for example at the start you say "but suddenly a massive earthquake started..."
You could improve this by, for example, doing somthing like this:
...As I broke into a run I stumbled and collapsed to the ground. Only now I realised that the ground beneath me had started to tremble. Fear caught me and I didn't know what to do. The sound of concrete being bent by the sheer force of tonnes of rock shook me to the bone. As I clambered to my feet the pavement I was standing on lost all of its rigidness. As it bent in half I scrambled to the sides, but it was too late...

Otherwise that is a great story, if you want anything like a banner feel free to ask :)

EDIT: Also can I just add, using I did this and I did that alot can be very boring for the reader.
If I helped, please click that little green up arrow in the bottom right of my post!

#6

XxTechCatxX
  • Location: Denmark
  • Minecraft: kenn3111

Posted 03 October 2011 - 05:23 PM

View PostThEwOtSiT182, on 03 October 2011 - 03:35 PM, said:

Its pretty good and has good ideas. But it could be improved, for example at the start you say "but suddenly a massive earthquake started..."
You could improve this by, for example, doing somthing like this:
...As I broke into a run I stumbled and collapsed to the ground. Only now I realised that the ground beneath me had started to tremble. Fear caught me and I didn't know what to do. The sound of concrete being bent by the sheer force of tonnes of rock shook me to the bone. As I clambered to my feet the pavement I was standing on lost all of its rigidness. As it bent in half I scrambled to the sides, but it was too late...

Otherwise that is a great story, if you want anything like a banner feel free to ask :)

EDIT: Also can I just add, using I did this and I did that alot can be very boring for the reader.

I would love if you would make a banner, and herobrine should include, and i will try to to that with I did
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#7

Johnosuper
  • Location: The Galaxy (not the chocolate bar)
  • Minecraft: johnosuper

Posted 03 October 2011 - 06:31 PM

WOW You are a great writer good work and good luck for the future  
Diamond for you :Diamond:
I approve this topic  :iapprove:

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C.S. Lewis said:

Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You too? I thought I was the only one.”

#8

XxTechCatxX
  • Location: Denmark
  • Minecraft: kenn3111

Posted 04 October 2011 - 05:50 AM

Chapter 2 is done. :lol:
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#9

Spiskellepigreeperjockey

Posted 04 October 2011 - 08:04 AM

Can read mine?
Mine is the Origins of Herobrine.
All other monsters included.
http://www.minecraft...n-of-herobrine/

#10

XxTechCatxX
  • Location: Denmark
  • Minecraft: kenn3111

Posted 04 October 2011 - 01:05 PM

Chapter 3 is done, some of it is (:
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#11

XxTechCatxX
  • Location: Denmark
  • Minecraft: kenn3111

Posted 09 October 2011 - 07:36 PM

A part of the new chapter is out!
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#12

BloodsMists
  • Location: Lost in shrowded fields of the Great Bloodstone Wars
  • Minecraft: Bloodmists

Posted 04 March 2012 - 03:05 AM

Epic story. Keep going. Oh and not to be rude but check your grammer.(I have OCD so it bugs me sorry) :D
"In fields shrowded in smoke and smog heros are born and wish nothing more than that it was not so." -Unknown

"You may bloody the stones with my life, feed the carion with my flesh, burry my name in a thousand words, the one thing that shall always live on is the very soul of my being. The spirt of freedom and the right of all people to be free in words, life, love, and thought." -Unknown

#13

Phinox2378

Posted 31 July 2012 - 08:01 PM

Yeah, same here, but GREAT story... Can't wait for the next chapter! (And the 4th to be completed ;] )
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#14

tnt000
    tnt000

    Out of the Water

  • Members
  • 4 posts

Posted 13 August 2012 - 03:12 AM

Awesome! :D

#15

rpps
    rpps

    Out of the Water

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  • 3 posts
  • Minecraft: rpps

Posted 30 December 2012 - 12:20 AM

this map looks good

#16

rpps
    rpps

    Out of the Water

  • Members
  • 3 posts
  • Minecraft: rpps

Posted 30 December 2012 - 12:35 AM

lol awesome story bro its so awesome Posted Image

#17

papamu2021

Posted 05 July 2013 - 06:27 PM

This is such a cool story. Are you almost finished with the next chapter?

#18

Malteseloverlovesmaltese

Posted 29 March 2014 - 10:33 PM

Cool