A lot of my friends always ask me why should they play minecraft.
Some jerks at my school say BS like:
"Minecraft is the most pointless game ever"
This is what I say, over 12,000,000 people dissagree with you (PC, Pocket, and Xbox)
Minecraft is the best game ever, not only do you get to build anything you want, but you can roam landscapes, survive, and MAKE a story behind it.
This is what I believe started rumors about Herobrine, now I know that herobrine was never in ANY released version of minecraft, but the customization of Minecraft made it able to let a joke/myth to be played off so well.
Other games with myths don't usually add much attention to it.
I made a small story about minecraft that inspires me and my friends to play for a certain goal and point.
There is a similar story online but this is my folktale version about why you are playing minecraft.
I want to make a Minecraft live action with some youtubers later on.
This story has references to many youtubers
THIS IS ALSO A MINECRAFT LIKE VERSION OF:
The Legion Of The Black, a film by the band Black Veil Brides and their album Wretched and Divine
I NEED YOUTUBERS AND SINGERS,
I will make this into a Youtube video with music, Minecraft versions of Wretched and Divine.
Characters:
Steve- The Last Hope
Notch- The Creator
Jeb- The Great Fighter (since he is the lead of Minecraft now)
Dinnerbone- The Human Helper (a nod to his map maker tools)
Herobrine- The Evil Brother of the Creator
Victor- The Horse
Josh- The Dog
==============================
CH 1- The Fall of the Nether- Intro
In the world of Minecraftia, Two brothers want it all.
Who's side do you take if you face death either way?
Long ago, two brothers, eager for power fought a long battle to win the world of Minecraftia.
Notch, the eldest brother, wanted there to be peace for the Humans on the surface.
Herobrine, the younger jellous brother wanted to overthow his brother and destroy all that stepped in his way.
The brothers were at war!
Notch built his palace in the above the nation of the skylands.
Herobrine, built and underground chain of cities.
Notch tamed his Dragon that he had since a child, his dragon was red and fought for notch.
Notch and his friends Steve, Dinnerbone, and Jeb fought furiously to defeat Herobrine and his illustrious armies of ugly and defiant malevolence.
Herobrine's armies weakened so he stepped back. But he started working. He built mechanizims that could spawn monsters that could kill anyone who threatened them.
Notch and his leage went to the Nation of the Nether to seek help of the millions of pigmen.
The nether was way underground, further than herobrines strongholds. It was a pretty nation of waterfalls, flowers. and amazing castles.
The pigmen were glad to help.
Herobrine was NOT happy.
Using the enchanting witchcraft he had gained power through, he decided to punish the nether and it's inhabitants.
He set of weeks of toruture of lava bombs, explosions, and blood shrieking pain upon the once beautiful nation. The pigmen were torn apart, un-reconizable zombie like and some were stripped completely of their flesh.
Herobrine would not let them die, he set a curse on them to let them live through the pain.
The once beutiful nation turned blood red, all the stone and grass and the once beautiful crystaline quartz turned to sand and blood.
Herobrine burried the still alive souls but dead bodies in the sands. The sand still has the souls to this day and tries to get help by people near it. All plant life turned to mutated wart and muchrooms.
The nations water turned to lava. Herobrine's curses turned all water to lava and future water will evaporate. If one is to sleep in the now hell of a place, they will be met with a huge explosion and a sea of fire.
Souls that drowned in the lava are still alive, cubes of magma
The skeletons of the remained also lack full brains and fight with stone
they do not know who did this to them and they hate all human kind
Herobrine did not have time to keep this land in order, as he was at war.
He built Ghastly and Blazing Artificial monster that shoot fire at any rebel that attempts to bring peace.
To keep people out forever he built an unbreakable wall that separated the world to them.
Notch thinking quickly, used the power of witchcraft and enchanting for good.
He thought if he could enchant the Glass that forms from lava known as obsidian, it would be possible to go to the nether and restore peace. He was succesfull but never figured out how to construct the portal.
Jeb had other things to do, he made sure he knew what the young herobrine was doing.
Herobrine made another aftificial monsters using nether remains, curses and explosives.
these green things will blow up near people Herobrine considers a Rebel.
Dinnerbone worked nervously to help anyone who wanted to make something they consider usefull.
Steve helped notch, Steve is the Clone Notch made of Herobrine, Steve however is NOT evil.
Herobrine used his best techniques, he gathered an army. This army was full of people scared to rebel against Herobrine and knew Notch would try to save them in the end.
Notch gathered all who were loyal to the Sky Army and brought them all to the skylands to prepare them.
Herobrine wanted a fight, he was going to get one.
CH 2- The Battle For All- Exordium The Kingdom Of Notch is inside you
And all around you, Not in a castle of Wood and Cobblestone. Break a piece of wood, and Notch is there. Take Cobblestone, and you will find Notch.
The Armies on both the Sky Army and the Herobrine Army set the stage for a battle that would be for everything.
There were some people that would not fight in the war and decided to NOT be a part of it and to take shelter untill this war ended.
Some built shelters in flat grasslands or deserts. Some built Hidden temples in jungles, and some made large pyramids.
These people were outcasts to the armies of both Herobrine and Notch.
Herobrine instucted his army of Human Servents to construct armor and weapons for themselfs. Half of the army chose to use bows and the other used swords, shovels, axes, anything they could make.
Notch and his army used armor, bows and tools as well.
Herobrine got his Army of servents, his artificial green explosive creatures, and made a new Artificial monster he called Silverfish. He programed them to hide in the walls and to swarm anyone who dared to come to his stronghold. He also sent them randomly into huge hills.
Notch instructed his army to do what was nessesary to protect themselfs.
Jeb held command for Notch
Dinnerbone helped fix anything that went wrong while someone tried to survive.
Notch's army who had to work on The overworld to find their usefull materials built mines to aid them.
Herobrine was not happy and set his contraptions to the mines to spawn poisonous spiders onto miners.
The battle almost was here.
Herobrine then constructed a portal to the skylands so he and everyone could go to the skyland and destroy the army of Notch.
Notch's human army ranged from skin to skin, some were human, some were animals, some were robots.
Herobrine made each and every one of his followers resemble HIM.
Herobrines focus was to destroy the Skyland and Notch's Red Dragon. Then get back to the Overworld and destroy that.
Herobrine's Army got into the portal and got to the skyland.
The battle was on.
Notch's army used enchantments to enchant pearls that could teleport them around. Notch constructed artificial Humans 10 ft tall that used their minds to teleport around with these powerfull pearls.
Notch used cannons to shoot TNT, Sand, Gravel, and even 2 ton Anvils on the opponents.
Herobrine's army kept growing weaker. Herobrine was not pleased.
Herobrine set a curse on ALL of his army, that if they were killed, they were forced to stay alive but as mutated as he had done to those in the Nether.
People under his control continued to die and became Zombie like humans back in the overworld, losing some armor and weopons.
Others, were ripped COMPLETELY of their skin and minds.
Notch looked like he was to be the victor.
But Herobrine used all his enchanting knowledge, and set of a huge explosion that wiped out the entire skylands, killing Notch, Jeb, and Dinnerbone, and Himself at the same time, the skylands were no more, the portal was destoryed. What became of the skyland was a wasteland. The dragon turned black and purple and Herobrine's curse made it Evil.
Notch's army was stripped of all they had, and were placed back on the Overworld with nothing spread out from eachoher.
The creations of Notch became evil as well.
Steve found himself on a beach with nothing at all. His memory wiped.
The curse Herobrine set off followed through to the Overworld, Luckily it did not hurt the People who made shelter to stay away from the war.
However, it heavily altered their appearence and made others completely isolate themselfs from the others.
These misunderstood individuals built shacks in the murky swamps, Living in anger, attacking anyone who got near them.
Notch, Jeb, And Dinnerbone's Spirit still are alive and help Steve and the other Survivors on to find out what they can do to Continue living.
CH 3- Post Battle Survival- Abeyance
If a God does not exist, I can not deny, that my whole being cries out for a God. I can not forget..
Steve slowly is piecing together everything that happened, but with limited knowledge.
He finds a chest with some logs and twigs, a stone pickaxe and a small amount of food.
He will try to make it work out, he must.
He starts his journey,
DAY 1
He passes a small swamp with a shack in it,
A person walks out and screams at him to leave,
Steve tries to ask for help and the person gets angry and throws a bottle at him with gross green liquid, it knocks him out.
He wakes up in the swamp later, the person is missing and he goes in to find anything he can use to help him.
He finds a Iron Cauldron and a book about making volatile potions.
He takes all he can from this person and leaves.
He finds himself in a jungle. LOST.
He comes up on a ruin, with no one in it. we walks in and looks around, the place spooks him out, he steps on a piece of string and an arrow zips past his head. he finds a way to disable it.
Inside he finds a book about Gems and Metals and what color stone turns when it has these materials in it.
He reads about the many gems and metals, Iron, Gold, Lapis, Quartz, Rubies that have mysteriously been taken away from the land for a long time.
One material he knows he will need is Diamond and Obsidian.
He sees that Notch had made a way to reach the Nether using obsidian but no one ever got the portal right.
He walks into a room with switches and fools with them and he gets pushed into a room.
He finds a crate with iron and bunch of stuff he needs.
Day 2
Steve Has constructed Armor for himself and has started growing crops.
He started Mining in a cave and killing animals and cooking himself some food.
He finds a horse in a field and he goes up to it with sugar and tries to get the horse to follow him. after some struggle him and the horse are friends.
The horse is a good strong Black horse with amazing Jumping power.
Day 7
Steve finds a pack of wild wolves, they scurry away from him but a small puppy gets left behind and runs to Steve.
Steve spends the next few weeks raising his Horse and his baby Wolf.
He decides to Name the Horse Victor.
And name the dog Josh.
These animals are helping him through everything.
DAY 45
Odd things are starting to happen, the fallen of herobrine's army have found Steve, they start coming after him at night.
Well, instead of saying pointless and derogatory things, you should tell him why it is bad and what he can do to improve it.
The start of the story is pretty generic; ie. the entire Notch and Herobrine blah blah blah saga. A more original start would be better. The later chapters are pretty good.
First, the story is generic. It was written a hundred times. Though that does not matter too much if it is good.
First chapter:
You use words that fit the things you want to describe. That is good. However, that sets high expectations, and the story will feel disjointed if you don't fulfill these expectations. That is only the case at the end of the chapter. The "he wants to fight, he will get a fight" line seems out of place in this rather history-book like writing I believe you are trying to convey. Also, there are places in the story where you repeat yourself, example: "The nations water turned to lava. Herobrines curse turned all water to lava. Other than that, you should run spellchecks on the chapters. I like that you divided the sentences in sections, so the reader knows what happens when, but you did it like every sentence, and the story now is uncomfortable to read.
I find it good, however, that you avoided the stereotype of Herobrine residing in the Nether.
Chapter 2:
The story is still generic. You know, everyone and their little brother associates Notch with the Aether.
Here again, the use of words fit the story rather well, and the italics help it even more, but the sections give me headaches. It feels like Notch and Herobrines attacks happen in slow motion, or rather I am watching a bad stop motion film with to less frames.
I don't like that you called the Villagers outcast to both armies. It doesn't seem logical for Notch to call somebody outcast, because, even if your Notch would, people have this stereotype of Notch being the epitome of all good. So that needs to be explained more.
I however, like the references you made. Some are a bit whacky (Dinnerbone helped everyone who did something useful. What is useful?).
Chapter 3:
Just one thing. Don't introduce clones of somebody without a foreshadowing. You could have included how a bunch of Youtubers went on an epic quest of doom to retrieve DNA. But instead you just introduce him in Chapter 2 like poof here is Steve.
The writing style here clashes quite a lot with the one here. You are writing in days, like a diary. That does not fit with third person perspective, especially a very surfaced one.
I also feel that the ending is rather weak. You could have done something like, "Steve. You can run. You can hide. But you cannot escape.".
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Would you like to know the atomic structure of a piece of bread?
A lot of my friends always ask me why should they play minecraft.
Some jerks at my school say BS like:
"Minecraft is the most pointless game ever"
This is what I say, over 12,000,000 people dissagree with you (PC, Pocket, and Xbox)
Minecraft is the best game ever, not only do you get to build anything you want, but you can roam landscapes, survive, and MAKE a story behind it.
This is what I believe started rumors about Herobrine, now I know that herobrine was never in ANY released version of minecraft, but the customization of Minecraft made it able to let a joke/myth to be played off so well.
Other games with myths don't usually add much attention to it.
I made a small story about minecraft that inspires me and my friends to play for a certain goal and point.
There is a similar story online but this is my folktale version about why you are playing minecraft.
I want to make a Minecraft live action with some youtubers later on.
This story has references to many youtubers
THIS IS ALSO A MINECRAFT LIKE VERSION OF:
The Legion Of The Black, a film by the band Black Veil Brides and their album Wretched and Divine
I NEED YOUTUBERS AND SINGERS,
I will make this into a Youtube video with music, Minecraft versions of Wretched and Divine.
Characters:
Steve- The Last Hope
Notch- The Creator
Jeb- The Great Fighter (since he is the lead of Minecraft now)
Dinnerbone- The Human Helper (a nod to his map maker tools)
Herobrine- The Evil Brother of the Creator
Victor- The Horse
Josh- The Dog
==============================
CH 1- The Fall of the Nether- Intro
In the world of Minecraftia, Two brothers want it all.
Who's side do you take if you face death either way?
Long ago, two brothers, eager for power fought a long battle to win the world of Minecraftia.
Notch, the eldest brother, wanted there to be peace for the Humans on the surface.
Herobrine, the younger jellous brother wanted to overthow his brother and destroy all that stepped in his way.
The brothers were at war!
Notch built his palace in the above the nation of the skylands.
Herobrine, built and underground chain of cities.
Notch tamed his Dragon that he had since a child, his dragon was red and fought for notch.
Notch and his friends Steve, Dinnerbone, and Jeb fought furiously to defeat Herobrine and his illustrious armies of ugly and defiant malevolence.
Herobrine's armies weakened so he stepped back. But he started working. He built mechanizims that could spawn monsters that could kill anyone who threatened them.
Notch and his leage went to the Nation of the Nether to seek help of the millions of pigmen.
The nether was way underground, further than herobrines strongholds. It was a pretty nation of waterfalls, flowers. and amazing castles.
The pigmen were glad to help.
Herobrine was NOT happy.
Using the enchanting witchcraft he had gained power through, he decided to punish the nether and it's inhabitants.
He set of weeks of toruture of lava bombs, explosions, and blood shrieking pain upon the once beautiful nation. The pigmen were torn apart, un-reconizable zombie like and some were stripped completely of their flesh.
Herobrine would not let them die, he set a curse on them to let them live through the pain.
The once beutiful nation turned blood red, all the stone and grass and the once beautiful crystaline quartz turned to sand and blood.
Herobrine burried the still alive souls but dead bodies in the sands. The sand still has the souls to this day and tries to get help by people near it. All plant life turned to mutated wart and muchrooms.
The nations water turned to lava. Herobrine's curses turned all water to lava and future water will evaporate. If one is to sleep in the now hell of a place, they will be met with a huge explosion and a sea of fire.
Souls that drowned in the lava are still alive, cubes of magma
The skeletons of the remained also lack full brains and fight with stone
they do not know who did this to them and they hate all human kind
Herobrine did not have time to keep this land in order, as he was at war.
He built Ghastly and Blazing Artificial monster that shoot fire at any rebel that attempts to bring peace.
To keep people out forever he built an unbreakable wall that separated the world to them.
Notch thinking quickly, used the power of witchcraft and enchanting for good.
He thought if he could enchant the Glass that forms from lava known as obsidian, it would be possible to go to the nether and restore peace. He was succesfull but never figured out how to construct the portal.
Jeb had other things to do, he made sure he knew what the young herobrine was doing.
Herobrine made another aftificial monsters using nether remains, curses and explosives.
these green things will blow up near people Herobrine considers a Rebel.
Dinnerbone worked nervously to help anyone who wanted to make something they consider usefull.
Steve helped notch, Steve is the Clone Notch made of Herobrine, Steve however is NOT evil.
Herobrine used his best techniques, he gathered an army. This army was full of people scared to rebel against Herobrine and knew Notch would try to save them in the end.
Notch gathered all who were loyal to the Sky Army and brought them all to the skylands to prepare them.
Herobrine wanted a fight, he was going to get one.
CH 2- The Battle For All- Exordium The Kingdom Of Notch is inside you
And all around you, Not in a castle of Wood and Cobblestone. Break a piece of wood, and Notch is there. Take Cobblestone, and you will find Notch.
The Armies on both the Sky Army and the Herobrine Army set the stage for a battle that would be for everything.
There were some people that would not fight in the war and decided to NOT be a part of it and to take shelter untill this war ended.
Some built shelters in flat grasslands or deserts. Some built Hidden temples in jungles, and some made large pyramids.
These people were outcasts to the armies of both Herobrine and Notch.
Herobrine instucted his army of Human Servents to construct armor and weapons for themselfs. Half of the army chose to use bows and the other used swords, shovels, axes, anything they could make.
Notch and his army used armor, bows and tools as well.
Herobrine got his Army of servents, his artificial green explosive creatures, and made a new Artificial monster he called Silverfish. He programed them to hide in the walls and to swarm anyone who dared to come to his stronghold. He also sent them randomly into huge hills.
Notch instructed his army to do what was nessesary to protect themselfs.
Jeb held command for Notch
Dinnerbone helped fix anything that went wrong while someone tried to survive.
Notch's army who had to work on The overworld to find their usefull materials built mines to aid them.
Herobrine was not happy and set his contraptions to the mines to spawn poisonous spiders onto miners.
The battle almost was here.
Herobrine then constructed a portal to the skylands so he and everyone could go to the skyland and destroy the army of Notch.
Notch's human army ranged from skin to skin, some were human, some were animals, some were robots.
Herobrine made each and every one of his followers resemble HIM.
Herobrines focus was to destroy the Skyland and Notch's Red Dragon. Then get back to the Overworld and destroy that.
Herobrine's Army got into the portal and got to the skyland.
The battle was on.
Notch's army used enchantments to enchant pearls that could teleport them around. Notch constructed artificial Humans 10 ft tall that used their minds to teleport around with these powerfull pearls.
Notch used cannons to shoot TNT, Sand, Gravel, and even 2 ton Anvils on the opponents.
Herobrine's army kept growing weaker. Herobrine was not pleased.
Herobrine set a curse on ALL of his army, that if they were killed, they were forced to stay alive but as mutated as he had done to those in the Nether.
People under his control continued to die and became Zombie like humans back in the overworld, losing some armor and weopons.
Others, were ripped COMPLETELY of their skin and minds.
Notch looked like he was to be the victor.
But Herobrine used all his enchanting knowledge, and set of a huge explosion that wiped out the entire skylands, killing Notch, Jeb, and Dinnerbone, and Himself at the same time, the skylands were no more, the portal was destoryed. What became of the skyland was a wasteland. The dragon turned black and purple and Herobrine's curse made it Evil.
Notch's army was stripped of all they had, and were placed back on the Overworld with nothing spread out from eachoher.
The creations of Notch became evil as well.
Steve found himself on a beach with nothing at all. His memory wiped.
The curse Herobrine set off followed through to the Overworld, Luckily it did not hurt the People who made shelter to stay away from the war.
However, it heavily altered their appearence and made others completely isolate themselfs from the others.
These misunderstood individuals built shacks in the murky swamps, Living in anger, attacking anyone who got near them.
Notch, Jeb, And Dinnerbone's Spirit still are alive and help Steve and the other Survivors on to find out what they can do to Continue living.
CH 3- Post Battle Survival- Abeyance
If a God does not exist, I can not deny, that my whole being cries out for a God. I can not forget..
Steve slowly is piecing together everything that happened, but with limited knowledge.
He finds a chest with some logs and twigs, a stone pickaxe and a small amount of food.
He will try to make it work out, he must.
He starts his journey,
DAY 1
He passes a small swamp with a shack in it,
A person walks out and screams at him to leave,
Steve tries to ask for help and the person gets angry and throws a bottle at him with gross green liquid, it knocks him out.
He wakes up in the swamp later, the person is missing and he goes in to find anything he can use to help him.
He finds a Iron Cauldron and a book about making volatile potions.
He takes all he can from this person and leaves.
He finds himself in a jungle. LOST.
He comes up on a ruin, with no one in it. we walks in and looks around, the place spooks him out, he steps on a piece of string and an arrow zips past his head. he finds a way to disable it.
Inside he finds a book about Gems and Metals and what color stone turns when it has these materials in it.
He reads about the many gems and metals, Iron, Gold, Lapis, Quartz, Rubies that have mysteriously been taken away from the land for a long time.
One material he knows he will need is Diamond and Obsidian.
He sees that Notch had made a way to reach the Nether using obsidian but no one ever got the portal right.
He walks into a room with switches and fools with them and he gets pushed into a room.
He finds a crate with iron and bunch of stuff he needs.
Day 2
Steve Has constructed Armor for himself and has started growing crops.
He started Mining in a cave and killing animals and cooking himself some food.
He finds a horse in a field and he goes up to it with sugar and tries to get the horse to follow him. after some struggle him and the horse are friends.
The horse is a good strong Black horse with amazing Jumping power.
Day 7
Steve finds a pack of wild wolves, they scurry away from him but a small puppy gets left behind and runs to Steve.
Steve spends the next few weeks raising his Horse and his baby Wolf.
He decides to Name the Horse Victor.
And name the dog Josh.
These animals are helping him through everything.
DAY 45
Odd things are starting to happen, the fallen of herobrine's army have found Steve, they start coming after him at night.
sweat story really detailed nice work i'm glad i'm your friend say what version of minecraft do you have dose your computer support minecraft?
Some jerks at my school say BS like:
"Minecraft is the most pointless game ever"
This is what I say, over 12,000,000 people dissagree with you (PC, Pocket, and Xbox)
Minecraft is the best game ever, not only do you get to build anything you want, but you can roam landscapes, survive, and MAKE a story behind it.
This is what I believe started rumors about Herobrine, now I know that herobrine was never in ANY released version of minecraft, but the customization of Minecraft made it able to let a joke/myth to be played off so well.
Other games with myths don't usually add much attention to it.
I made a small story about minecraft that inspires me and my friends to play for a certain goal and point.
There is a similar story online but this is my folktale version about why you are playing minecraft.
I want to make a Minecraft live action with some youtubers later on.
This story has references to many youtubers
THIS IS ALSO A MINECRAFT LIKE VERSION OF:
The Legion Of The Black, a film by the band Black Veil Brides and their album Wretched and Divine
I NEED YOUTUBERS AND SINGERS,
I will make this into a Youtube video with music, Minecraft versions of Wretched and Divine.
Characters:
Steve- The Last Hope
Notch- The Creator
Jeb- The Great Fighter (since he is the lead of Minecraft now)
Dinnerbone- The Human Helper (a nod to his map maker tools)
Herobrine- The Evil Brother of the Creator
Victor- The Horse
Josh- The Dog
==============================
CH 1- The Fall of the Nether- Intro
In the world of Minecraftia, Two brothers want it all.
Who's side do you take if you face death either way?
Long ago, two brothers, eager for power fought a long battle to win the world of Minecraftia.
Notch, the eldest brother, wanted there to be peace for the Humans on the surface.
Herobrine, the younger jellous brother wanted to overthow his brother and destroy all that stepped in his way.
The brothers were at war!
Notch built his palace in the above the nation of the skylands.
Herobrine, built and underground chain of cities.
Notch tamed his Dragon that he had since a child, his dragon was red and fought for notch.
Notch and his friends Steve, Dinnerbone, and Jeb fought furiously to defeat Herobrine and his illustrious armies of ugly and defiant malevolence.
Herobrine's armies weakened so he stepped back. But he started working. He built mechanizims that could spawn monsters that could kill anyone who threatened them.
Notch and his leage went to the Nation of the Nether to seek help of the millions of pigmen.
The nether was way underground, further than herobrines strongholds. It was a pretty nation of waterfalls, flowers. and amazing castles.
The pigmen were glad to help.
Herobrine was NOT happy.
Using the enchanting witchcraft he had gained power through, he decided to punish the nether and it's inhabitants.
He set of weeks of toruture of lava bombs, explosions, and blood shrieking pain upon the once beautiful nation. The pigmen were torn apart, un-reconizable zombie like and some were stripped completely of their flesh.
Herobrine would not let them die, he set a curse on them to let them live through the pain.
The once beutiful nation turned blood red, all the stone and grass and the once beautiful crystaline quartz turned to sand and blood.
Herobrine burried the still alive souls but dead bodies in the sands. The sand still has the souls to this day and tries to get help by people near it. All plant life turned to mutated wart and muchrooms.
The nations water turned to lava. Herobrine's curses turned all water to lava and future water will evaporate. If one is to sleep in the now hell of a place, they will be met with a huge explosion and a sea of fire.
Souls that drowned in the lava are still alive, cubes of magma
The skeletons of the remained also lack full brains and fight with stone
they do not know who did this to them and they hate all human kind
Herobrine did not have time to keep this land in order, as he was at war.
He built Ghastly and Blazing Artificial monster that shoot fire at any rebel that attempts to bring peace.
To keep people out forever he built an unbreakable wall that separated the world to them.
Notch thinking quickly, used the power of witchcraft and enchanting for good.
He thought if he could enchant the Glass that forms from lava known as obsidian, it would be possible to go to the nether and restore peace. He was succesfull but never figured out how to construct the portal.
Jeb had other things to do, he made sure he knew what the young herobrine was doing.
Herobrine made another aftificial monsters using nether remains, curses and explosives.
these green things will blow up near people Herobrine considers a Rebel.
Dinnerbone worked nervously to help anyone who wanted to make something they consider usefull.
Steve helped notch, Steve is the Clone Notch made of Herobrine, Steve however is NOT evil.
Herobrine used his best techniques, he gathered an army. This army was full of people scared to rebel against Herobrine and knew Notch would try to save them in the end.
Notch gathered all who were loyal to the Sky Army and brought them all to the skylands to prepare them.
Herobrine wanted a fight, he was going to get one.
CH 2- The Battle For All- Exordium
The Kingdom Of Notch is inside you
And all around you,
Not in a castle of Wood and Cobblestone.
Break a piece of wood, and Notch is there.
Take Cobblestone, and you will find Notch.
The Armies on both the Sky Army and the Herobrine Army set the stage for a battle that would be for everything.
There were some people that would not fight in the war and decided to NOT be a part of it and to take shelter untill this war ended.
Some built shelters in flat grasslands or deserts. Some built Hidden temples in jungles, and some made large pyramids.
These people were outcasts to the armies of both Herobrine and Notch.
Herobrine instucted his army of Human Servents to construct armor and weapons for themselfs. Half of the army chose to use bows and the other used swords, shovels, axes, anything they could make.
Notch and his army used armor, bows and tools as well.
Herobrine got his Army of servents, his artificial green explosive creatures, and made a new Artificial monster he called Silverfish. He programed them to hide in the walls and to swarm anyone who dared to come to his stronghold. He also sent them randomly into huge hills.
Notch instructed his army to do what was nessesary to protect themselfs.
Jeb held command for Notch
Dinnerbone helped fix anything that went wrong while someone tried to survive.
Notch's army who had to work on The overworld to find their usefull materials built mines to aid them.
Herobrine was not happy and set his contraptions to the mines to spawn poisonous spiders onto miners.
The battle almost was here.
Herobrine then constructed a portal to the skylands so he and everyone could go to the skyland and destroy the army of Notch.
Notch's human army ranged from skin to skin, some were human, some were animals, some were robots.
Herobrine made each and every one of his followers resemble HIM.
Herobrines focus was to destroy the Skyland and Notch's Red Dragon. Then get back to the Overworld and destroy that.
Herobrine's Army got into the portal and got to the skyland.
The battle was on.
Notch's army used enchantments to enchant pearls that could teleport them around. Notch constructed artificial Humans 10 ft tall that used their minds to teleport around with these powerfull pearls.
Notch used cannons to shoot TNT, Sand, Gravel, and even 2 ton Anvils on the opponents.
Herobrine's army kept growing weaker. Herobrine was not pleased.
Herobrine set a curse on ALL of his army, that if they were killed, they were forced to stay alive but as mutated as he had done to those in the Nether.
People under his control continued to die and became Zombie like humans back in the overworld, losing some armor and weopons.
Others, were ripped COMPLETELY of their skin and minds.
Notch looked like he was to be the victor.
But Herobrine used all his enchanting knowledge, and set of a huge explosion that wiped out the entire skylands, killing Notch, Jeb, and Dinnerbone, and Himself at the same time, the skylands were no more, the portal was destoryed. What became of the skyland was a wasteland. The dragon turned black and purple and Herobrine's curse made it Evil.
Notch's army was stripped of all they had, and were placed back on the Overworld with nothing spread out from eachoher.
The creations of Notch became evil as well.
Steve found himself on a beach with nothing at all. His memory wiped.
The curse Herobrine set off followed through to the Overworld, Luckily it did not hurt the People who made shelter to stay away from the war.
However, it heavily altered their appearence and made others completely isolate themselfs from the others.
These misunderstood individuals built shacks in the murky swamps, Living in anger, attacking anyone who got near them.
Notch, Jeb, And Dinnerbone's Spirit still are alive and help Steve and the other Survivors on to find out what they can do to Continue living.
CH 3- Post Battle Survival- Abeyance
If a God does not exist,
I can not deny,
that my whole being cries out for a God.
I can not forget..
Steve slowly is piecing together everything that happened, but with limited knowledge.
He finds a chest with some logs and twigs, a stone pickaxe and a small amount of food.
He will try to make it work out, he must.
He starts his journey,
DAY 1
He passes a small swamp with a shack in it,
A person walks out and screams at him to leave,
Steve tries to ask for help and the person gets angry and throws a bottle at him with gross green liquid, it knocks him out.
He wakes up in the swamp later, the person is missing and he goes in to find anything he can use to help him.
He finds a Iron Cauldron and a book about making volatile potions.
He takes all he can from this person and leaves.
He finds himself in a jungle. LOST.
He comes up on a ruin, with no one in it. we walks in and looks around, the place spooks him out, he steps on a piece of string and an arrow zips past his head. he finds a way to disable it.
Inside he finds a book about Gems and Metals and what color stone turns when it has these materials in it.
He reads about the many gems and metals, Iron, Gold, Lapis, Quartz, Rubies that have mysteriously been taken away from the land for a long time.
One material he knows he will need is Diamond and Obsidian.
He sees that Notch had made a way to reach the Nether using obsidian but no one ever got the portal right.
He walks into a room with switches and fools with them and he gets pushed into a room.
He finds a crate with iron and bunch of stuff he needs.
Day 2
Steve Has constructed Armor for himself and has started growing crops.
He started Mining in a cave and killing animals and cooking himself some food.
He finds a horse in a field and he goes up to it with sugar and tries to get the horse to follow him. after some struggle him and the horse are friends.
The horse is a good strong Black horse with amazing Jumping power.
Day 7
Steve finds a pack of wild wolves, they scurry away from him but a small puppy gets left behind and runs to Steve.
Steve spends the next few weeks raising his Horse and his baby Wolf.
He decides to Name the Horse Victor.
And name the dog Josh.
These animals are helping him through everything.
DAY 45
Odd things are starting to happen, the fallen of herobrine's army have found Steve, they start coming after him at night.
Rite.
On another note : Nice story there. But you know what it lacks: Enderpearling Anvil dropping Redstoning Canadian Ninjas.
TT2000, you are genius.
I'm gonna release 3-4 more chapters!
It will have everything fighting wise. The final battle is almost here.
I kind of want to make a YouTube movie of this but I will need some people
TT2000, you are genius.
You should show some friends this, I am working on Ch. 2 right Now.
should i keep making it?
Don't let the small view counter discourage you!
TT2000, you are genius.
2 new characters to love
The start of the story is pretty generic; ie. the entire Notch and Herobrine blah blah blah saga. A more original start would be better. The later chapters are pretty good.
That would be true. Like deonyi said, the story DOES have a generic feel to it, but you make it a tad different I believe. For whatever reason.
TT2000, you are genius.
First, the story is generic. It was written a hundred times. Though that does not matter too much if it is good.
First chapter:
You use words that fit the things you want to describe. That is good. However, that sets high expectations, and the story will feel disjointed if you don't fulfill these expectations. That is only the case at the end of the chapter. The "he wants to fight, he will get a fight" line seems out of place in this rather history-book like writing I believe you are trying to convey. Also, there are places in the story where you repeat yourself, example: "The nations water turned to lava. Herobrines curse turned all water to lava. Other than that, you should run spellchecks on the chapters. I like that you divided the sentences in sections, so the reader knows what happens when, but you did it like every sentence, and the story now is uncomfortable to read.
I find it good, however, that you avoided the stereotype of Herobrine residing in the Nether.
Chapter 2:
The story is still generic. You know, everyone and their little brother associates Notch with the Aether.
Here again, the use of words fit the story rather well, and the italics help it even more, but the sections give me headaches. It feels like Notch and Herobrines attacks happen in slow motion, or rather I am watching a bad stop motion film with to less frames.
I don't like that you called the Villagers outcast to both armies. It doesn't seem logical for Notch to call somebody outcast, because, even if your Notch would, people have this stereotype of Notch being the epitome of all good. So that needs to be explained more.
I however, like the references you made. Some are a bit whacky (Dinnerbone helped everyone who did something useful. What is useful?).
Chapter 3:
Just one thing. Don't introduce clones of somebody without a foreshadowing. You could have included how a bunch of Youtubers went on an epic quest of doom to retrieve DNA. But instead you just introduce him in Chapter 2 like poof here is Steve.
The writing style here clashes quite a lot with the one here. You are writing in days, like a diary. That does not fit with third person perspective, especially a very surfaced one.
I also feel that the ending is rather weak. You could have done something like, "Steve. You can run. You can hide. But you cannot escape.".
TT2000, you are genius.
Chapter 1 thoughts:
sweat story really detailed nice work i'm glad i'm your friend say what version of minecraft do you have dose your computer support minecraft?
I love Minecraft