Have you been convicted of any of the following: murder, arson, armed robbery, personal relations with goats, etc. If so, please read on.
Many men have walked the line of the law in their time and those men paid their debt to society. Here’s your chance! We at GoldCraft Prison take pride in having the cleanest slate when it comes to prisoner-to-prisoner relations. Of course, on the record we’ve never had any prisoners, so you can be our first!
We aren’t concerned with people killing each other because - let’s be honest - how many of us cops actually watch the monitors? You might as well be throwing your own feces at a blue elephant and chanting “Ave Maria.” We simply don’t care. That means good things for you! Does that chucklehead child rapist look too much like your strange uncle? Just stab him in the throat with a shiv. We don’t care. Of course, there’s always those new guards that are always breaking up fights. Just kill them too. Let your feelings become free here! That’s what we are: a feelings center.
While you’re letting your repressed sociopath free, why not try and rank up through our luxurious blocks?
C-Prison (Default): This is where you’ll start out. Like a psychopathic minnow going from sea to land you can be reborn into a model citizen. I hear there’s something about an underground market of blacks, but I’m sure white people are allowed too. Not sure about Asians though. But besides that there’s a nice mine to work those manly arms in. (If you’re not a man, try becoming more manly first.) Let’s say you’re also an aspiring lumberjack. We have a tree farm just for you, just mind people’s rib cages while you’re swinging please.
B-Prison ($15,000): We’re still renovating this place; but that’s okay, you can still come on in. We have a sugar cane farm for all your cocaine brewing needs and maybe you can start a farm with all the weeds that are growing in the place. Also, our mine here got flooded with some extra-dimensional doohickies that are from some place with dragons. That’s what the scientist told us, at least, but you shouldn’t be concerned.
A-Prison ($60,000): This place is a beaut. We’ve got a nice little waterfall and even an enchantment area so you can not only murder your cell-mate, but you can char his body to a crisp just for giggles. I also got wind of a little gaming area. Maybe it’s Scrabble they play or Pictionary… no… no wait, that’s right, it’s death matches. Something about “where waters sinks, the men shall dive to places forged on other’s lives.” At least, I read that in blood on the cells of a guy that cooked his wife into chili. Actually, chili sounds nice right now.
X-Prison ($120,000): I’m not even going there. That guy that made the cannibal chili was in some Satanist cult thingy and he kind of maybe sorta unleashed all Hell into the block. I’m sure it’s okay. I personally wouldn’t set foot in the place, but I’m not the one working for my freedom, now am I, you silly billy? This place isn’t for the weak of heart, trust me. You got to be all hardcore and stuff. Damnit. I chipped a nail.
Free ($200,000): We made a big oopsy here. Remember your family and friends back home? Yeah, don’t think about them anymore, we only made the road to the prison one-way, soooooo you’re alone. But hey, look on the bright side! You get to start all over. You’re free! No restrictions! No rules! Okay, maybe some rules, but look at this new frontier as a new beginning! And come visit us here at the prison anytime you like, hun! We’ll all be happy to see you, Big Bubba especially.
Guard: As a prisoner, are you tired of all those guards hindering your senseless violence? Well, now you can be those guards if you're in A-Prison or higher! This is only for the most trusted, caring, law-abiding people in the community. Your job is to watch over the prisoners and beat up trouble-makers. Who doesn’t dream of regulating twelve year olds fighting with enchanted wooden hoes named “Betty”? This changes the whole game. Want to become a purist? Fill out this form:
What time can you guard:
Have you ever been a mod on another server? If so, state how many:
Have you ever been banned from any server? (Tell the truth, it helps.) If so, state why:
Why we should pick you:
Do use Skype or Teamspeak? If so, state which one:
Warden: This is only for the most HARDCORE players. You must type in commands to reverse bans by new guards and tell people to stop spamming. Yeah, it’s pretty intense. This is the highest rank in the prison and is only given to those guards deemed worthy by the owners. (Well, there was that one time a fourteen year old got warden and murdered everybody, but that’s beside the point.)
Voting is the fastest way to get money. Please check our site for voting links and discussion on things nobody will read anyway: http://mcgoldcraftprison.webs.com/
Has somebody brought you here out of the kindness of their little heart? Post their name in this thread and say they told you about GoldCraft Prison to get them a neat $2,000 in-game.