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Kicking Kids Out of Multi-player = Bullying


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#61

busygemini

Posted 17 January 2013 - 01:44 AM

View PostRobbieNexus, on 16 January 2013 - 03:03 AM, said:

I think what happened is there was possibly some kind of Internet glitch. If it was the PC version, it could have been an "End Of Stream" issue, where the game simply drops the connection for a second and the player is kicked off because they are unable to stay connected to the server in question.

If it wasn't, idk. However, Mojang has no control over what people do in servers. That is up to the administrators, and your son may have just met the kind of person who deserves no power in a multiplayer video game. If he's feeling reluctant to play, then players are to blame, not Mojang. The community at large is actually very kind. Admin abuse is present in every game where servers are player-run, but not every server has that problem. If its the XBox version, I reccomend you get the PC version. A server that I think would be a good place to start is the Caznowl SMP; the admins never kick or ban anyone without reason.

Yes, it was on the Xbox, so thank you for your direction to a server on the PC version.  Also with the information given to me by several of the other posters, I now understand that the manufacturer has no say in what the individual servers do. As I mentioned at the outset, I came on here mostly to vent....not knowing if or how I'd get any sort of constructive feedback.  I definitely have and feel much more comfortable about dealing with it.  Thanks for your input.

View PostMathy, on 16 January 2013 - 03:09 AM, said:

Now that I think about it, it is good for him if you teach and use this well.

You see, as you know real life is very different than what we wish it was—to be a nice environment full of happy nice people. Unfortunately, there are enough people to ruin that. But teaching your son to accept that mean things will happen, even tragedies like Sandy Hook, will create a positive experience. That way he understands that it isn't his problem mean things happen, and that simply ignoring issues with the bully will make the bully feel unsuccessful, and so it isn't his problem.

Agreed :) .

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#62

Mathy
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Posted 17 January 2013 - 01:47 AM

I hope it will work out for you well then. Have a good day!

Fermat said:

I have discovered a truly remarkable proof of this, which this margin is too small to contain.


#63

0strichGuy11
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Posted 17 January 2013 - 01:52 AM

I gamed online when I was 8 or so. I'm surprised no one kicked me or something.

I don't see much of a problem here though. I highly bet your son is doing something wrong, like not saying nice things, messing around with other's projects, stuff like that.

#64

busygemini

Posted 17 January 2013 - 01:58 AM

View PostVillanelo, on 16 January 2013 - 03:21 AM, said:

So... lets me see if I got this right.

You left your kid alone in the jungle, and then, when he was eaten by a tiger, you went to the wrong place to complain to the wrong people?

Playing online with other people is not recommended for young kids. And it is not me who is saying that, it is the PEGI system.

Other than that, as far as I know, you can only play with your friends in the XBox version. Maybe your kid should choose better friends?

Actually I'm sitting in the room with him while he's playing, and keeping an eye on it, so the jungle analogy isn't really apt.  As for complaining to the wrong place to the wrong people, I said at the outset, I admitted I was primarily here to vent, and didn't know if anyone could give me any helpful advice.  Happily, I've had a lot of useful input.

That aside, yes, the issue -- given the system as it exists -- does come down to who he's playing with.  While his friends are fine, it's some of the "friends' friends" who have become problematic.    We'll see how it goes...

View PostPsycodragons, on 16 January 2013 - 03:39 AM, said:

I can tell you're trolling, I'm pretty sure you would know the games name after having so much interaction.

Sorry, not (to the trolling comment).  And I do know the name of the game, I just typed wrong (more than once ;) )....

#65

xXMattelevenXx

Posted 17 January 2013 - 02:00 AM

its online gaming theres really nothin u can do

#66

Fifedrum2
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Posted 17 January 2013 - 02:05 AM

The Xbox is the entire reason for this, so don't get worked up about it. The Xbox community is less mature and generally less forgiving than the web community, and you tend to find less bigots in the Minecraft community overall. I don't know what to say other than use singleplayer.
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#67

busygemini

Posted 17 January 2013 - 02:05 AM

View PostLimitedWard, on 16 January 2013 - 04:01 AM, said:

Unfortunately, I don't think we will ever get to hear the "opposition's" view on this situation. With all due respect, for all we know, your son could be the one bullying/harassing them. I'm not claiming that your son's a bully nor am I saying that your son deserved to be kicked from the server (even though the owner on the server has every right to do so), but there's two sides to every story. No parent is capable of viewing their child as a "bully"; however, when a child (or even an adult) is behind the safety of a computer screen, it's much easier for them to take on a more aggressive "internet ego."

Ask your son if there was any potential ulterior reason for getting kicked than what you realize. A very common form of cyber-bullying on Minecraft is called griefing (destroying another person's creations simply to incite emotion). Most servers list griefing as a kickable offense, and if your son was doing it on their server then chances are that that's the reason why he was being excluded.

Please do not take offense to what I am saying. Like I said before, I'm not suggesting that your son was the bully; but you do (as a responsible adult) have to assess both sides of the situation.

P.S. If you do ask your son if he was griefing, be sure to remind him that two wrongs don't make a right (a.k.a. tell him not to get any funny ideas Posted Image ).

Hi there,

No offense taken, I get where you're coming from.  But nah, he's a good kid, and as I've mentioned in some of my other responses...he wasn't doing anything wrong.  I was paying attention, cuz it's all new and wanted to monitor what was going on.

Thanks for your response...

#68

Fifedrum2
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Posted 17 January 2013 - 02:09 AM

View PostGrandcrafter1, on 16 January 2013 - 12:15 AM, said:

It's the internet. There is nobody to protect your kid against bullying. If you don't want him to be around it, then the answer is quite simple. Don't allow your kid to have access to the internet. Other than that there is no way around this problem. People can do whatever they please on the internet with zero consequences.
Not necessarily, the internet is sort of like a constructive anarchy, and it can be controlled to some extent.
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#69

busygemini

Posted 17 January 2013 - 02:14 AM

View PostRebD, on 16 January 2013 - 05:29 AM, said:

Your perspective on this issue seems to be rather selfish. Your son is getting kicked out of games, you don't like that, therefore you think there shouldn't be the ability to kick players. Well let me ask you this, what if your son created his own world, put tons of effort into it building structures, gathering resources etc. Then was asked by someone at school "hey can I join your world? it will be fun!". Your son invites them into his world and they start destroying it. Would you not think he should have the right to kick them out?

The kicking mechanism is in place to prevent bullying via destructive playing styles.

I also take issue with you describing him being kicked out as bullying. It's never nice when other kids don't want to play with your kid, but does that make it bullying? Because in this case, him being kicked out is just akin to "we don't want to play with you anymore" and I know it sucks, but if your kid had ever actually been bullied, you'd realise this is not the same thing.

If these kids however are raising his hopes just to kick him out and there is more going on, than in that case, perhaps it is bullying but you can hardly blame Mojang for that. Bullies use a multitude of platforms to bully, it was not fostered by Mojang. As i said the kick function exists for a much needed purpose. To prevent people gaining someones trust just to destroy their world.

Hi RebD,

I don't think it's being selfish to want your kid to be able to do something he wants to/likes to do/can do well without fear of being kicked out of a room for no reason.  I also disagree with you about your playground scenario -- I still think that's bullying.  But like I said elsewhere, I'm not here to argue...and you're entitled to your opinion.

That aside, I do have a better understanding -- from both your comments and those of others -- why there is a "kicking out" function.  It's simply the misuse of that function I find bothersome.  However, I realize there's no way to address that system-wide, and it will just be a matter of figuring out who to play with.

#70

MrSnowBunni
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Posted 17 January 2013 - 02:15 AM

Mojang cannot control how people treat others on the servers that exist.

Posted Image

Check out my Lets Play! It would be much appreciated! :3


#71

busygemini

Posted 17 January 2013 - 02:19 AM

View Postrexo12(my ingame name), on 16 January 2013 - 05:40 AM, said:

Well. The problem is, Mojang takes no responsibilty as to what happens on servers. It is up to the server owners to decide what happens.
Sometimes there are people who get a bit power hungry, and abuse their powers. You just need to find a family friendly server.
The PC servers are a lot more tolerable of people. I would reccomend looking into it.

Point well-taken :)  ....sad but true, across the board.  Thanks for your response. :)

View PostDextrous, on 17 January 2013 - 12:34 AM, said:

Hmm... watch him while he plays... if he places random blocks everywhere then that is the problem... if not and there is no other apparent reason, take it to either the people who kicked him, or their parents.

That's all I can say.

Thanks for coming back to chime in again Dextrous.  Good advice.

#72

busygemini

Posted 17 January 2013 - 02:35 AM

View Postwho885, on 17 January 2013 - 12:35 AM, said:

First of all its Xbox, there are no servers other then friends inviting friends to the game and unless he is the "owner" of the map aka he is the one hosting the game he cannot be kicked out.And to be honest it kinda seem like your joking with us.Because of the way your dragging this conversation on. Xbox is allot different then PC version in a way you set up games or servers. Only the party leader can kick/invite/ban ect and i don't think there is a banning system on the xbox version unless its a new feature no banning can be done on minecraft "Xbox" edition.

#XBOX He is talking about the Xbox edition not the pc. I'm saying this because allot of people seem to be saying find a new server or look for a family friendly one...



edit: I'v noticed that the children are kicking him and if this keeps happening why not just admit him into a club.....I know people like your son and they have friends they can relate to now. In other words he needs new friends.

sorry if this seems heartless but iv seen way to many parents complain and honestly complaining to the forum seems a little over board since most of us really can do much but give advice or feel bad for him.

Hey Who,

I'm not "dragging this conversation on" -- I'm simply responding to those who took the time to respond to my initial post.  Common courtesy.

Anyway, I'm glad you clarified the point about servers on PC vs. Xbox...because I did not get the sense that he had any involvement with those.  It was strictly the other kids doing the kicking out.  Regarding your "club" idea, are there clubs within the game you mean?  Or are you just referring to clubs in general?

Finally, regarding "going overboard"...again, we'll have to agree to disagree.  I had a gripe with MinEcraft....so a MinEcraft forum seemed like a reasonable place to start.  I was hoping to get some advice, and I got some.

Thanks for taking the time to comment.

#73

LimitedWard
  • Minecraft: limitedward

Posted 17 January 2013 - 02:39 AM

Oh by the way, there's a section on the forum dedicated to finding a group of people to play minecraft with on the Xbox 360 Edition.

If you're interested, the link to it is: http://www.minecraft...1-find-players/

Posted Image


#74

busygemini

Posted 17 January 2013 - 03:04 AM

View PostDewmD66, on 17 January 2013 - 12:46 AM, said:

This^^

I have kids, and of course I don't want any of them bullied...
..But at the same time I have to just roll my eyes when people/kids/parents get on forums like this to complain they got mistreated on the internet.
"I let my kid play call of duty and he was called names!!"

...I'm sorry...but at the same time, cry me a river. its a dog eat dog world. And the internet is one place where you can't hide behind your participation trophy or your political correctness.

Actually, I initiated a discussion on a place specifically designed for that purpose -- a forum.  And though I recognize that yes, the internet is a tough place (as proven by your comments), I've received some terrific advice, so wouldn't change a thing.  FYI, he isn't allowed to play Call of Duty -- he's 12.

View PostJaques22, on 17 January 2013 - 01:01 AM, said:

This is why people under 16 shouldn't game online, it just causes hassle. Granted, theres a fair share of jerks above that age, but the majority are under 16 immature kids who think they own the place and think that they are wiser than their elders....oh how wrong they are.
I know Minecraft might LOOK like a kids game, but really it isn't so much, it's kind of a game for everybody. And becuase it's for everybody, anybody will play, including jerks. You get them all over the place.

Oh and by the way, one thing I've come to realise in the 5 years I've been away from school is that the 'popular kids' were usually the more IMMATURE ones...yet they seemed more mature at the time, and only until you turn 18/19 do you think back and realise how really, REALLY immature they actually were.

The online world really is a hurtful place sometimes and I hope your son gets over his troubles.

Have some of my love <3

Interesting perspective and comments.  I appreciate you taking the time to share them -- and your good wishes for my son -- with me.

#75

busygemini

Posted 17 January 2013 - 03:11 AM

View PostReichiru, on 17 January 2013 - 01:04 AM, said:

Does he have a close friend that plays the game? Starting small with people he can trust is probably the best step before branching out into larger group play. That way he still has somewhere to turn when these things happen.

Hi,

Yes he does, and that's how it started out, innocently enough.  It was when some of the other kids other friends joined in that the kicking out happened.  He has since played with the intial group of kids, and if and when those other kids join in again, he'll have to decide whether to stay or leave.  Thanks for your input.

View Postalexdafishguy, on 17 January 2013 - 01:05 AM, said:

i dont have xbox, so im assuming that you open a world and anyone in a group can join.

what if 1 person invited him for a different game, but they just dont want to play mc with him? i dont see why they should have to. in case this seemed mean, it wasnt meant to.

I don't quite understand your question....so can't decide if it's mean or not ;) ...

#76

busygemini

Posted 17 January 2013 - 03:26 AM

View PostRoadsguy, on 17 January 2013 - 01:33 AM, said:

I think you misunderstood my point, and looking back, I don't think I worded it well enough. At least on PC, the owner of a server (not the server itself) can give trusted players "operator" rights, to be able to ban players, kick them, and other special commands that do stuff in-game. The server didn't kick your son out, one of the ops did, assuming Xbox works that much like PC.

Hi again Roadsguy,

From what I can gather from some of the other posters, the PC and Xbox versions are a bit different.  Still, it was definitely just some of his classmates who kicked him out (not any one with special privileges).  I appreciate your additional visit though, thanks.

View PostMathy, on 17 January 2013 - 01:47 AM, said:

I hope it will work out for you well then. Have a good day!

:)

View Post0strichGuy11, on 17 January 2013 - 01:52 AM, said:

I gamed online when I was 8 or so. I'm surprised no one kicked me or something.

I don't see much of a problem here though. I highly bet your son is doing something wrong, like not saying nice things, messing around with other's projects, stuff like that.

Nope, he was doing what he was supposed to be doing....that's what was so frustrating.

Regardless, thanks for chiming in.  You gave me a chuckle about YOUR history with online gaming though ;) ....

View PostxXMattelevenXx, on 17 January 2013 - 02:00 AM, said:

its online gaming theres really nothin u can do

So it seems...thanks for commenting.

#77

busygemini

Posted 17 January 2013 - 03:35 AM

View PostFifedrum2, on 17 January 2013 - 02:05 AM, said:

The Xbox is the entire reason for this, so don't get worked up about it. The Xbox community is less mature and generally less forgiving than the web community, and you tend to find less bigots in the Minecraft community overall. I don't know what to say other than use singleplayer.

Luckily, he has several Xbox games which don't involve interactions with kids outside of the house.  And he has enjoyed Minecraft on the PC and in singleplayer, so if this situation continues, he has plenty of back-up options.  Thanks for chiming in....

View PostFifedrum2, on 17 January 2013 - 02:09 AM, said:

Not necessarily, the internet is sort of like a constructive anarchy, and it can be controlled to some extent.

"constructive anarchy" -- perfect

View PostMrSnowBunni, on 17 January 2013 - 02:15 AM, said:

Mojang cannot control how people treat others on the servers that exist.

Yup, that's what I've learned....thanks.

View PostLimitedWard, on 17 January 2013 - 02:39 AM, said:

Oh by the way, there's a section on the forum dedicated to finding a group of people to play minecraft with on the Xbox 360 Edition.

If you're interested, the link to it is: http://www.minecraft...1-find-players/

That sounds awesome, thanks very much!!

#78

RebD
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Posted 17 January 2013 - 04:30 AM

View Postbusygemini, on 17 January 2013 - 02:14 AM, said:

Hi RebD,

I don't think it's being selfish to want your kid to be able to do something he wants to/likes to do/can do well without fear of being kicked out of a room for no reason.

I can understand that. I was just annoyed that you were blaming it all on the kick function. It is reasonable to want your kid to be able to enjoy his hobby and share it with like minded people.

View Postbusygemini, on 17 January 2013 - 02:14 AM, said:

  I also disagree with you about your playground scenario -- I still think that's bullying.  But like I said elsewhere, I'm not here to argue...and you're entitled to your opinion.

I think by "playground scenario" you mean the bit where I said that just because a group of kids doesn't want to play with another kid, doesn't make it bullying? I'm only asking because i'm not entirely sure what you mean. If you disagree with what I said, that's your right. And you're probably right about it not being worth an argument, so I guess we'll just have to disagree on that point.

View Postbusygemini, on 17 January 2013 - 02:14 AM, said:

That aside, I do have a better understanding -- from both your comments and those of others -- why there is a "kicking out" function.  It's simply the misuse of that function I find bothersome.  However, I realize there's no way to address that system-wide, and it will just be a matter of figuring out who to play with.

Yeah I think that's sensible, you're going to find it far easier to find people your son can play with than you are changing the attitudes of the entire player base and changing how servers operate.

I'm glad you understand why the kick function exists now. That's the only thing I had a problem with. Mojang didn't add it to foster bullying, they added it to prevent people from ruining other peoples fun, It was implemented with the best of intentions, i'm sure.

I stand by what I said in my original post, but I do think I could have worded it in a much friendlier manner. So I would just like to say, thank you for disagreeing with me in a mature manner and replying to my post with a friendly demeanor. I wish you and your son the best of luck finding a server that he can enjoy.

#79

CrazyAL
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Posted 17 January 2013 - 06:44 AM

This thread should be made into a documentary.Posted Image

#80

Goldcap
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Posted 17 January 2013 - 10:45 PM

Well, as most of the comments are saying "Lol stupid troll" or "Get PC edition Xbox sucks" I will tell you one thing. They are both right. Lol stupid troll, I do not know your son, but i am sure that unless you and your wife are both trolls, at most he could only be part troll. From the sincerity of your post however, we are forced to believe that if he has any troll blood in him what so ever then it is from your wife. I would also like to say that Xbox does not suck, but PC is better for minecraft. I would look into minecraft Pc for your son, and give your wife the nickname of "Possible troll." Good luck ;)
[sorry if this sounds mean, i am in perfect agreeance. Multiple times i have been banned by my friends and multiple times i have felt bullied. However this is the greatest game, and some of the people are dicks without dicks;)]