I messaged them again yesterday and they said it is something they're aware of and are actively working to fix. I got on my xbox last night and it was not in the ready to install section. However I searched the store and sure enough it said Install instead of 19.99.
So I have the update, or "upgrade" technically. And I now understand some of the frustrations of the people who already have the update. It's slow, the crafting menus are clunky, ugly, and hard to navigate. And it is now far too easy to place blocks as you are walking backwards, what ends up happening is you smack yourself in the face with the last block placed, hurting you or even knocking you off of whatever high up surface you were on. You can also end up getting hurt when running and jumping off of a one block drop. All in all, I'm happy to have it and I am still playing. However there are some annoyances.
Good luck man. Hope you get it soon. Hopefully this restores some hope and patience, it is still rolling out.
Also the Battlefront II Beta is pretty decent if you want something different to play in the meantime.