I neither feel alive,,, nor dead..
what state of consciousness
I.. am in.... what.. was I doing before this..
The only face I recall is hers... only hers.
and ... who am I... I,I... am talem or I became after the event...
the seas of mercury... I feel something I am alive.
( meanwhile on a peaceful hillside, lush and alive, the peaceful atmosphere is completely shattered. the once clear and cyan sky, the once windless hill, is stirred by intense winds. the sky turns grey. it turns quite, suddenly blue lightning smashes into the ground. the hill is half of what it was, the grass is on fire, the fire burns with grayish flames. a portal in the sky closes. the sky regains it's cyan hue. a figure awakens in the crater of the hill. the figure takes its first breath of the landscape, regaining it's senses. its eyes awaken. one of its eyes a bright yellow the other a deep purple.)
(well I will work on this later, I have to sleep. I am aware I may of made mistakes but I am new to this. don't forget to critique my fanfic and constructively suggest things )
2 animes and how my original characters ended up in the
minecraft world try to guess as I develope the story more
I am not that new to minecraft, but assuming from your post I suck at writing and I know it. but I will try and try again to share my stories with whoever likes them. (I am sorry If I am assuming something you didn't imply) I had a rough day.
Whoops, did you think that? All writers are welcome here and no writers are good enough. We are a community. Sorry if you though that was what I meant. Also, I do not know how that comment wound up here. I meant to put it on the thread called "Noobalicious." Then you commented on it here and therefore I am extremely confused. Sorry about that, again.
A rough day? *reassuring pat on the back* We've all had rough days, us writers. Hope you're doing well.
what state of consciousness
I.. am in.... what.. was I doing before this..
The only face I recall is hers... only hers.
and ... who am I... I,I... am talem or I became after the event...
the seas of mercury... I feel something I am alive.
( meanwhile on a peaceful hillside, lush and alive, the peaceful atmosphere is completely shattered. the once clear and cyan sky, the once windless hill, is stirred by intense winds. the sky turns grey. it turns quite, suddenly blue lightning smashes into the ground. the hill is half of what it was, the grass is on fire, the fire burns with grayish flames. a portal in the sky closes. the sky regains it's cyan hue. a figure awakens in the crater of the hill. the figure takes its first breath of the landscape, regaining it's senses. its eyes awaken. one of its eyes a bright yellow the other a deep purple.)
(well I will work on this later, I have to sleep. I am aware I may of made mistakes but I am new to this. don't forget to critique my fanfic and constructively suggest things )
minecraft world try to guess as I develope the story more
It could use some work, though. Work on this some more, and it will do fine.
It could easily have more content though.
The second part (in commas)
Shouldn't be (in commas)
It is strange, and sucks you out of the story.
It could use more detail but other than already pointed out things it is pretty good.
A rough day? *reassuring pat on the back* We've all had rough days, us writers. Hope you're doing well.