Posted Chapter 14. Finally had to move on to another post to continue the story! Also introduced Drake, who will play a very important role later in the story.
As always, if you liked the story or wanted to give me some constructive criticism, please post!
Very niecly done! I loved the part in the alley way! Alleyways are pretty cliche, but the way you did it was pretty cool!
Posted Chapter 15. More on the character of Drake. I know he seems kind of vague and not very realistic now, but I can't say much more about him yet.
Also merged the characters of Daron and Garan, and added the new character of Karia. Added descriptions for all the characters on the poll. As always, if you like it or want to offer me some constructive criticism, please post!
Wow, its been a while since I've checked on this story. I've had a lot of work to do lately. I'll try to have a new chapter up soon!
Thanks for posting! In regards to your question, that depends on who you think he is. I'll be honest, I haven't fully developed his character yet. However it'll probably surprise you who he turns out to be. Or maybe you'll have expected it. Who knows.
Posted Chapter 16. Not much action in this one. I'll admit it was heard finding a believable reason for Safira to trust Drake. But I think I did okay.
Also, kudos if you can tell which chapter the end was a reference to.
Loved chapter 16! So great! You did a very good job with finding a believable reason for Safira to trust Drake, actually. It was a good way of revealing some more of Drake's character, and of Safira's character. Keep writing!
Posted Chapter 17. Somewhat short, but one of my favorite chapters so far. Its the entrance of one of the major forces in the story. Ladies and gentlemen, may I present, the Lord of Cliche Villains . . .
Seriously though, I'll make an effort to make him different this time. I have a lot of unique ideas for him. I suppose we'll see how it goes!
And there it is! Credit to Immortus for the inspiration. I posted a rough map of the Seven Kingdoms. I'll update as need be, so far it only has a few major landmarks on it.
Herobrine ideas are always and never the same. The best you can do is dig out the oldest and most forgotten facts about him and convert them into his powers.
That is if you are like me ( I have no good fantasy), but I expect you to be far more superior in that. BUT THE CHAPTER 17 IS AWESOME. IT IS DA COOOL.
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Would you like to know the atomic structure of a piece of bread?
Herobrine ideas are always and never the same. The best you can do is dig out the oldest and most forgotten facts about him and convert them into his powers.
That is if you are like me ( I have no good fantasy), but I expect you to be far more superior in that. BUT THE CHAPTER 17 IS AWESOME. IT IS DA COOOL.
Thanks! I'm glad you liked it. If you liked this chapter you'll probably like many of the chapters to come, because Herobrine will be playing a fairly large role in the story from now on.
Posted Chapter 17. Somewhat short, but one of my favorite chapters so far. Its the entrance of one of the major forces in the story. Ladies and gentlemen, may I present, the Lord of Cliche Villains . . .
Seriously though, I'll make an effort to make him different this time. I have a lot of unique ideas for him. I suppose we'll see how it goes!
And there it is! Credit to Immortus for the inspiration. I posted a rough map of the Seven Kingdoms. I'll update as need be, so far it only has a few major landmarks on it.
Few! I loved the descriptions! You described Herobrine just about how I did;
You know, skeletal hands, glowing white eyes, cloaked...
However, I did notice some errors with the chapter. If you read through it out loud(or just imagine you're reading it out loud, which is what I do), you should be able to find the places where the sentences don't really make sense.
A little/(could be big) request...
About the map... it probably looks awesome, but my firewall is extremely paranoid, so I can't see it. Sometimes I can't even post images because it's so strict. So what I'm saying is: could you maybe send me a picture of it via e-mail? I promise that I won't copy it. (That said, if I do make a map of something that is similar to it, it's not because I'm trying to make a better version of your map, it's because that's just how I want to make that map. If you go to my profile page, you should be able to see my e-mail on there. (It's just in the about me section). So yeah, just if you have the time, it'd be cool if you could e-mail me the map, thanks!
Few! I loved the descriptions! You described Herobrine just about how I did;
You know, skeletal hands, glowing white eyes, cloaked...
However, I did notice some errors with the chapter. If you read through it out loud(or just imagine you're reading it out loud, which is what I do), you should be able to find the places where the sentences don't really make sense.
A little/(could be big) request...
About the map... it probably looks awesome, but my firewall is extremely paranoid, so I can't see it. Sometimes I can't even post images because it's so strict. So what I'm saying is: could you maybe send me a picture of it via e-mail? I promise that I won't copy it. (That said, if I do make a map of something that is similar to it, it's not because I'm trying to make a better version of your map, it's because that's just how I want to make that map. If you go to my profile page, you should be able to see my e-mail on there. (It's just in the about me section). So yeah, just if you have the time, it'd be cool if you could e-mail me the map, thanks!
Sorry it took so long to reply to this comment. I've had a lot of things to do lately and I haven't had a lot of time to look at this story. I'll try to have a new chapter up soon.
As for the map, it sucks that you can't see it. However I can't really e-mail it to you. For one, the e-mail I use for school is somewhat particular who I can and can't e-mail to, and for another I generally don't e-mail people on the forums. Could I give you the Imgur page or something?
Very niecly done! I loved the part in the alley way! Alleyways are pretty cliche, but the way you did it was pretty cool!
Thanks! Yeah, I know alleyways are a little cliche. But I tried to make it interesting. Hopefully I did okay!
Also merged the characters of Daron and Garan, and added the new character of Karia. Added descriptions for all the characters on the poll. As always, if you like it or want to offer me some constructive criticism, please post!
TT2000, you are genius.
Wow, its been a while since I've checked on this story. I've had a lot of work to do lately. I'll try to have a new chapter up soon!
Thanks for posting! In regards to your question, that depends on who you think he is. I'll be honest, I haven't fully developed his character yet. However it'll probably surprise you who he turns out to be. Or maybe you'll have expected it. Who knows.
Also, kudos if you can tell which chapter the end was a reference to.
Loved chapter 16! So great! You did a very good job with finding a believable reason for Safira to trust Drake, actually. It was a good way of revealing some more of Drake's character, and of Safira's character. Keep writing!
Seriously though, I'll make an effort to make him different this time. I have a lot of unique ideas for him. I suppose we'll see how it goes!
That is if you are like me ( I have no good fantasy), but I expect you to be far more superior in that. BUT THE CHAPTER 17 IS AWESOME. IT IS DA COOOL.
TT2000, you are genius.
Thanks! I'm glad you liked it. If you liked this chapter you'll probably like many of the chapters to come, because Herobrine will be playing a fairly large role in the story from now on.
Few! I loved the descriptions! You described Herobrine just about how I did;
A little/(could be big) request...
About the map... it probably looks awesome, but my firewall is extremely paranoid, so I can't see it. Sometimes I can't even post images because it's so strict. So what I'm saying is: could you maybe send me a picture of it via e-mail? I promise that I won't copy it. (That said, if I do make a map of something that is similar to it, it's not because I'm trying to make a better version of your map, it's because that's just how I want to make that map. If you go to my profile page, you should be able to see my e-mail on there. (It's just in the about me section). So yeah, just if you have the time, it'd be cool if you could e-mail me the map, thanks!
Sorry it took so long to reply to this comment. I've had a lot of things to do lately and I haven't had a lot of time to look at this story. I'll try to have a new chapter up soon.
As for the map, it sucks that you can't see it. However I can't really e-mail it to you. For one, the e-mail I use for school is somewhat particular who I can and can't e-mail to, and for another I generally don't e-mail people on the forums. Could I give you the Imgur page or something?
Its been a while since you've posted a new chapter. Need any new ideas just email me.
[email protected] and yes it's .au
Why did you ****ing left this story!?