Haha, I'm not that good. But thanks a lot! Also, I ended up running out of time. It's coming dangerously close to the main plot of the story, but I intend to have another 15 chapters.. The way it's going, it'll have another 2. I'm trying to find a way to drag it out, and I've got two ways. One of which makes the story a stand-alone, and another will leave room for a sequel. Which path to choose, I'm not sure.. I'll think about it over the next 5 hours while I'm out and about.
tl;dr Chapter 4 will be a very important chapter, and will be uploaded tonight sometime.
Thanks for reading this guys. I'm EXTREMELY excited about what to come. This next paragraph is EXTREMELY, EXTREMELY important to the progression of the story. What happens here will determine what Bob and Alice do for the ENTIRE book. It's IMMENSELY important, and I'm taking my time to figure out the future of the book.
To have a sequel, or not to have a sequel, is really the question here. But I still.. I'm thinking. Hard, very hard.
Oh, and there are a few new easter eggs in this chapter. 2 I believe, for those that are long-time fans and know of easter eggs. I have yet to implement that portion back into the info portion, but it will be here soon-ish.
Shita= A depressed person who tried to lock herself in the nether forever but burnt down her house on accident, so she ask Bob to go to her house out in the country and retrieve some of her stuff. While going to her house Bob falls into a cave on the way there and can't get out. You can probably make that interesting.
Shita= A depressed person who tried to lock herself in the nether forever but burnt down her house on accident, so she ask Bob to go to her house out in the country and retrieve some of her stuff. While going to her house Bob falls into a cave on the way there and can't get out. You can probably make that interesting.
I know who Shita is already. I have since I began writing this story. I have two responses that she will make.
She'll either
A: Do something I won't spoil for you.
or
B: Do something I won't spoil for you.
Both are the exact same. One just makes the end result farther away, allowing for a sequel.
I've decided what I'm going to do. Heading out to meet a friend right now, but when I come back.. I'm going to answer the insufferable question of "What the hell does Dawn have in mind?!"
Chapter 4 will be completed tonight, it was a difficult decision but I have thought long and hard about this. And I hope I can make it work well. Check back tonight for chapter 4! I'll probably be home within about 7-8 hours, and spend another 2-3 working on chapter 4 after that.
Don't worry, I won't play out the romance sub-plot too much. But it will be the main sub-plot. Bet you didn't see that coming! Ohhhhh, suprise!
Thanks for reading it guys, stay tuned for Chapter 5 comin to you soon! As well as a neat little adventure map that is hand created by the map generation system. After all, it is a story based on a guy stuck in Minecraft, it's gotta be made by the same system.. Lots of secrets, and additions, and a lot of the natural scenery is actually man-made.
Chapter 5 has taken an awful long time to write. Mainly because nobody is making the mods for me, so I'm making them myself.
Oh yeah, I don't know Java, or the Minecraft code. Yep, teaching myself it as I go. So far I've got the wireless redstone down. It was pretty simple, really.
Teleport button should be EXTREMELY easy.
Boombox.. Eh, maybe alittle extra time. One I completely finish wireless redstone and add in the trigger block, I'll finish Chapter 5.
cool but i gave this a 7 simply because NOT ENOUGH ACTION (and because i don't like romance in the first 4 chapters with what i feel is not enough character development)
make sure that training has action, and i think a good way to do this is DETAILED FIGHTS (Plz ) Character development- Tell Alices Story (again; Plz )
Other than that cool. Keep it up
Oh and if you don't want to lose work but don't want it on the computer use Google docs.
Before I go with a serious critic guy, I'd like to say that I got an idea from Shita's name. A guy named Shitti..
I'm not trying to outshine you, but gawsh I was laughing so hard when I played this scene out in my mind. You can use it if you'd like
I walked through the swamp, trying to find anything that didn't resemble a woman's curve, and other more private parts.
Its just the swamp gas Bob, I reasoned for this...wrong behavior.
It was really like Alice's body though- Woah! The thought came unbidden through my mind and I caught himself laughing moronically but slapped myself hard as punishment. I was almost grateful when a wooden club whacked me hard directly on the face. The relief disappeared quickly. Firstly, it was painful.
Second, I started thinking of Alice again, only this time much worse.
I woke up moments later sitting on a wooden chair. I looked around to see a Shitti standing there smiling.
"There you are you sneaky fool! Where am I?" I asked. He smiled.
"This is a Shitti house." He said proudly. I looked at the room. It looked old, with vines covering the walls and ceiling. The floor was sligtly flooded.
"It's quite a shity house.." I muttered. He didn't seem to get it.
"Yep!" He said happily. I groaned. "This is 100% a Shitti house. Made by Shitti from Shitti's stuff!" He said proudly, a sense of honor coloring his voice.
Now to criticisms.. The only thing I can see wrong is you not using Italics. And just that (I should've rated 10..)
Confession time: I forgot what I was gotta criticize.
ANOTHER Confession: I really wanted to give you that scene to use or alter.
cool but i gave this a 7 simply because NOT ENOUGH ACTION (and because i don't like romance in the first 4 chapters with what i feel is not enough character development)
make sure that training has action, and i think a good way to do this is DETAILED FIGHTS (Plz ) Character development- Tell Alices Story (again; Plz )
Other than that cool. Keep it up
Oh and if you don't want to lose work but don't want it on the computer use Google docs.
Yep, there's very little action right now. The beginning part is going to end up being pure character development. I'm not a writer that can just write the story, and not have to go back and change it drastically. I need to write the story, then add in all the details as I re-read it over again. Don't worry, when it's finished there will be a lot more character development, and the chapters will be a little longer. That's why they are somewhat short right now. And yes, training will have a lot of action, but no fighting sorry. It's training not war. Target dummies, MAYBE a little sparring nearing the end of Chapter 5.
Before I go with a serious critic guy, I'd like to say that I got an idea from Shita's name. A guy named Shitti..
I'm not trying to outshine you, but gawsh I was laughing so hard when I played this scene out in my mind. You can use it if you'd like
I walked through the swamp, trying to find anything that didn't resemble a woman's curve, and other more private parts.
Its just the swamp gas Bob, I reasoned for this...wrong behavior.
It was really like Alice's body though- Woah! The thought came unbidden through my mind and I caught himself laughing moronically but slapped myself hard as punishment. I was almost grateful when a wooden club whacked me hard directly on the face. The relief disappeared quickly. Firstly, it was painful.
Second, I started thinking of Alice again, only this time much worse.
I woke up moments later sitting on a wooden chair. I looked around to see a Shitti standing there smiling.
"There you are you sneaky fool! Where am I?" I asked. He smiled.
"This is a Shitti house." He said proudly. I looked at the room. It looked old, with vines covering the walls and ceiling. The floor was sligtly flooded.
"It's quite a shity house.." I muttered. He didn't seem to get it.
"Yep!" He said happily. I groaned. "This is 100% a Shitti house. Made by Shitti from Shitti's stuff!" He said proudly, a sense of honor coloring his voice.
Now to criticisms.. The only thing I can see wrong is you not using Italics. And just that (I should've rated 10..)
Confession time: I forgot what I was gotta criticize.
ANOTHER Confession: I really wanted to give you that scene to use or alter.
So there. I hope it helps, even in a TINY amount.
I'm sorry, I can't find any use for the scene. Perhaps later on, I haven't thought that far ahead. I know where I am going, but I haven't thought out every detail yet.
Also, I found that scene quite amusing!
Oh, and to all those following, Chapter 5 will be completed tonight. It was supposed to be done the other day, but I got distracted. Go blame Guude, the Yogscast and the library for that. However; right now, I'm recording some more footage for my Let's Play. In about an hour or so I'll edit it, render, and while it's rendering start on Chapter 5!
REally unhappy with the way it turned out, so it's essentially a placeholder. I know that where Chapter 5 began and ended is where I want chapter 4/6 to end and begin, respectively. So I'll come back and highly revise that later on when I either get more inspiration, or when I go over one of my re-reads. Don't expect this to be the final revision, at all.
Aside from that, I'm happy with the way the fight played out. I still have a few things to add descriptively to the first chapters to make that fight better though. And Chapter 6 will also help visually, so stay tuned!
... Off in the distance, I could see the boomers off in the distance...
Here's a story I'm writing. So yeah.
Silent Raven
Oh gosh, I can see how that would drive you nuts. I'll fix that immediately.
your amazing and i cant wait till chapter 4
Haha, I'm not that good. But thanks a lot! Also, I ended up running out of time. It's coming dangerously close to the main plot of the story, but I intend to have another 15 chapters.. The way it's going, it'll have another 2. I'm trying to find a way to drag it out, and I've got two ways. One of which makes the story a stand-alone, and another will leave room for a sequel. Which path to choose, I'm not sure.. I'll think about it over the next 5 hours while I'm out and about.
tl;dr Chapter 4 will be a very important chapter, and will be uploaded tonight sometime.
Thanks for reading this guys. I'm EXTREMELY excited about what to come. This next paragraph is EXTREMELY, EXTREMELY important to the progression of the story. What happens here will determine what Bob and Alice do for the ENTIRE book. It's IMMENSELY important, and I'm taking my time to figure out the future of the book.
To have a sequel, or not to have a sequel, is really the question here. But I still.. I'm thinking. Hard, very hard.
Oh, and there are a few new easter eggs in this chapter. 2 I believe, for those that are long-time fans and know of easter eggs. I have yet to implement that portion back into the info portion, but it will be here soon-ish.
I really need your help! If you can program, I ask you to please read the bottom of the first post.
Shita= A depressed person who tried to lock herself in the nether forever but burnt down her house on accident, so she ask Bob to go to her house out in the country and retrieve some of her stuff. While going to her house Bob falls into a cave on the way there and can't get out. You can probably make that interesting.
I know who Shita is already. I have since I began writing this story. I have two responses that she will make.
She'll either
A: Do something I won't spoil for you.
or
B: Do something I won't spoil for you.
Both are the exact same. One just makes the end result farther away, allowing for a sequel.
Chapter 4 will be completed tonight, it was a difficult decision but I have thought long and hard about this. And I hope I can make it work well. Check back tonight for chapter 4! I'll probably be home within about 7-8 hours, and spend another 2-3 working on chapter 4 after that.
<3 my smooth jazz so much!
IT'S ROMANTIC, ISN'T IT?
Don't worry, I won't play out the romance sub-plot too much. But it will be the main sub-plot. Bet you didn't see that coming! Ohhhhh, suprise!
Thanks for reading it guys, stay tuned for Chapter 5 comin to you soon! As well as a neat little adventure map that is hand created by the map generation system. After all, it is a story based on a guy stuck in Minecraft, it's gotta be made by the same system.. Lots of secrets, and additions, and a lot of the natural scenery is actually man-made.
Oh yeah, I don't know Java, or the Minecraft code. Yep, teaching myself it as I go. So far I've got the wireless redstone down. It was pretty simple, really.
Teleport button should be EXTREMELY easy.
Boombox.. Eh, maybe alittle extra time. One I completely finish wireless redstone and add in the trigger block, I'll finish Chapter 5.
tl;dr Chapter 5 will be up tomorrow!
Oh yeah, and I'm writing chapter 5 right now.
make sure that training has action, and i think a good way to do this is DETAILED FIGHTS (Plz ) Character development- Tell Alices Story (again; Plz )
Other than that cool. Keep it up
Oh and if you don't want to lose work but don't want it on the computer use Google docs.
I'm not trying to outshine you, but gawsh I was laughing so hard when I played this scene out in my mind. You can use it if you'd like
Its just the swamp gas Bob, I reasoned for this...wrong behavior.
It was really like Alice's body though- Woah! The thought came unbidden through my mind and I caught himself laughing moronically but slapped myself hard as punishment. I was almost grateful when a wooden club whacked me hard directly on the face. The relief disappeared quickly. Firstly, it was painful.
Second, I started thinking of Alice again, only this time much worse.
I woke up moments later sitting on a wooden chair. I looked around to see a Shitti standing there smiling.
"There you are you sneaky fool! Where am I?" I asked. He smiled.
"This is a Shitti house." He said proudly. I looked at the room. It looked old, with vines covering the walls and ceiling. The floor was sligtly flooded.
"It's quite a shity house.." I muttered. He didn't seem to get it.
"Yep!" He said happily. I groaned. "This is 100% a Shitti house. Made by Shitti from Shitti's stuff!" He said proudly, a sense of honor coloring his voice.
Now to criticisms.. The only thing I can see wrong is you not using Italics. And just that (I should've rated 10..)
Confession time: I forgot what I was gotta criticize.
ANOTHER Confession: I really wanted to give you that scene to use or alter.
So there. I hope it helps, even in a TINY amount.
Yep, there's very little action right now. The beginning part is going to end up being pure character development. I'm not a writer that can just write the story, and not have to go back and change it drastically. I need to write the story, then add in all the details as I re-read it over again. Don't worry, when it's finished there will be a lot more character development, and the chapters will be a little longer. That's why they are somewhat short right now. And yes, training will have a lot of action, but no fighting sorry. It's training not war. Target dummies, MAYBE a little sparring nearing the end of Chapter 5.
I'm sorry, I can't find any use for the scene. Perhaps later on, I haven't thought that far ahead. I know where I am going, but I haven't thought out every detail yet.
Also, I found that scene quite amusing!
Oh, and to all those following, Chapter 5 will be completed tonight. It was supposed to be done the other day, but I got distracted. Go blame Guude, the Yogscast and the library for that. However; right now, I'm recording some more footage for my Let's Play. In about an hour or so I'll edit it, render, and while it's rendering start on Chapter 5!
REally unhappy with the way it turned out, so it's essentially a placeholder. I know that where Chapter 5 began and ended is where I want chapter 4/6 to end and begin, respectively. So I'll come back and highly revise that later on when I either get more inspiration, or when I go over one of my re-reads. Don't expect this to be the final revision, at all.
Aside from that, I'm happy with the way the fight played out. I still have a few things to add descriptively to the first chapters to make that fight better though. And Chapter 6 will also help visually, so stay tuned!
~hgn1
You just lost The Game.