i dont thinmk your getting what my friend and i are trying to do here. We are ROLEPLAYING as brothers, in real life we are friends. Filling out two different applications would be a waste of everyones time and i gaurentee you would have denied us for copying eachothers bio.
We are rolepaying as brothers that are insepperable therefore, our bios are quite the same. I hope u can understand we are just trying to be creative and to have fun here.
I completely understand what you guys are trying to do, and it's not allowed. You can't take the easy way out by just making one app for two characters, you need an app for both of them, separately. Both of them need to have their own apps that differ quite a bit. You can have the same beginning to the bios, but they need to have their own events that are unique to them, I'm absolutely sure that even if they are twins, they've had experiences that the other hasn't. You can't have one app for two characters, unless Dangi or Snail wants you to have two characters in one app, it's going to be denied over and over. I quite honestly don't care if you're trying to be "creative," to me it looks like you're trying to take the easy way out by making one bio, thus cutting your work in half. Thats not how it works around here. One App = One Character Thats that. Make two apps, or no whitelist.
There was even going to be a party for you. A big party. That all your friends were invited too. I invited your best friend the companion cube. Of course, he couldn't come because you murdered him. All your other friends couldn't come either, because you don't have any other friends. Because of how unlikeable you are. It says so right here in your personal file: UNLIKEABLE, liked by no one, a bitter, unlikeable loner, who's passing shall not be mourned, SHALL NOT BE MOURNED. That's exactly what it says. Very formal. Very official. It also says you were adopted, so thats funny too.
New Application Out-Of-Character:
-Minecraft Account Name:Silverwolf77
-How old are you?: 15
-Time-Zone/Country of Residence: EsT/ United states, New York.
-Do you have a good grip on the English language/good grammar?: Yes.
-Small 2-3 Sentence Description of yourself: I am a typical laid back New Yorker. I am can be a very nice person if u don't cross me or mess with my friends. I can be very loyal if i see you are worth respecting.
-How much time could you be on the server weekly?: Mon-Fri= 15-20 hours. Sat-Sun= 15-24 hours. I am a lot more active in the summer.
-How long have you played minecraft?: I have been playing Minecraft for about 5 months.
-What do you know about roleplaying? How long have you been doing it? What kind?: I know role playing is something awesome that makes you able to do what you cant do. I have been role playing for about 10-12 months. I have done Normal day role playing, Medieval role playing, and futurist role playing.
-What do you expect this server will be like?: A Very strict rp based server that will be very awesome.
-What other server(s) have you played on and why did you leave them?:Zombieland (i was banned from zombieland.), The Plague(i left because it was impossible to build without a zombie popping out of a block ever 2 sec), and Alcatraz (there was no rp and the inmates were wild and no guards were ever online).
-Have you ever been banned before? if, why? ( Be Honest ):I have been banned from zombie land because i had god mode on which was given to me by a mod to complete a wall we were building (i had to build the underwater part). So we were building the wall and because the mod spawned the materials and gave me god mode i was banned and the mod left because he felt it was unfair.
-Have you read, understood, and agreed to the rules? What about the lore?:i read and I agree to the rules and understand them clearly.
-What is a slime called on this server?:it is [Unknown] it is It doesn't really have a name, its just a moving pile of radiated sludge. That is what it says in the description.
-How did you hear about us?:Ive seen This thread for a while and im looking for a good rp server.
-Will you be willing to download and be active on our Mumble server?: I am but i wont be able to speak until i get my mic which i hope to be getting in about 2-4 weeks.
In-Character:
-Character Name:Wolf
-Biography:
The last thing Wolf remembers was being killed.
Wolf awoke inside of a capsule in an underground cavern surrounded by many robots. Wolf was released from the capsule and the robots quickly equipped him with clothing and attached a computer chip on Wolf's neck. Wolf was lead out deeper into the Cavern and into a room fulled with lava and mutants. Wolf noticed some rocks placed as a path separated from each other. The robots gave him a Sword and said make it across to the other side.
Wolf followed task and did what they said even though he wanted to ask them why he was doing this and why he was here. Wolf Jumped across each step and sliced threw each mutant with excellent precision. Wolf was amazed with himself being able to do these things. The robots meet Wolf on the other side of the Test course. They manage explained to Wolf that he was a clone of an original Super Soldier. Wolf was also told that he would work for the Robots and he would be destroying human survivors and everything they told him to do.
Wolf Didn't want to betray his own kind even though he was a clone of a Super Soldier. Wolf Shook his head and denied their demands. The Robots then all attacked Wolf. Wolf still holding the test sword they gave him used it against them. He sliced threw every Robot he saw and he managed to escape the Cavern. Wolf noticed the chip on his neck and poked at it. When Wolf did that it triggered him to remember patches of the old Wolf's life. All the memory's that poured into Wolf's head Caused him so much pain he collapsed for 5 minutes.
Wolf Realized that he was just a clone but he would protect anyone he could from the Robots as though he was a real Super Soldier.
-Character Family: Wolf doesn't have any family he is just a Clone of a Super Soldier.
-Character Age: He is said to be a Clone of the an Super Soldier that was at the age of 18.
-Character Appearance: Wolf Wears a Black Trench Coat With a white shirt under it, White pants, Tan Skin, Sunglasses, And Black hair and black shoes.
-Character Personality: (Any fatal flaws?): Wolf is a very Loyal person. He is shy at first but if you get to know him he can be very talkative and funny. Wolf would do anything to protect his friends. If you double cross Wolf he will never forgive you and label you as his enemy.
-Occupation: Wolf was a Soldier in his past life. He is just a traveling Protector now.
-Can your character read or write?: Yes he was Cloned knowing how to do both.
-Can your character mine?: Yes he needed to know how to mine in his old life He needed to be able to mine to be able to find underground bases.
-Can your character build? (Holes in the ground do not count.): No he cannot build his past life was always provided with shelter.
-Can your character fight?: Yes he is a very talented Swordsmen.
-Can your character farm?: No He was feed well as a Super Soldier.
-Does your character have any special skills?: Wolf can survive a fall from very high up and he is very talented with Swords.
-Does your character have any mental or physical disabilities? Any health problems?: Wolf is only unable to do anything when he is Having a memory flash back of his past life.
-Character Fears: Wolf Fears being unable to protect his friends.
-DESCRIBE an event where your character is in deep pain: (No *I dodge the raiders arrows*. Write it out.)
(Wolf dreams something from his past life)
(Wolf Starts to Thrash about in his sleep yelling at the top of his lungs)
(the pain is so unbearable that Wolf wakes up and tries to cancel out the pain with another pain)
(Wolf Takes his sword and stabs his thigh)
(Wolf is relived of the pain but dealt with another but it is not as bad)
(Wolf bandages up his thigh and tries not to think about what just happened even tho it is still causing him so much pain in the back of his mind)
. . .
-A screenshot of your skin: (Please include a picture of the skin being worn, and a png of the skin itself.)
-Other Information: I hope this bio is better i took me a while to think it up.Also what do you call Red stone?
I will use ((*)) or brackets to speak in OOC in the local chat if needed or I will get banned!
Im not doing the random things anymore, I've run out of ideas
Review:
Dude, once again you're having the same issues with the other apps, too little info. You need to add detail as to why Wolf can't or can do things. You also need to add more to his bio and EDP. They both seem to be lacking quite a bit. Not as much your bio as your EDP. Just add a paragraph or so to the bio and it'll be perfect. Make sure the EDP isn't just dialogue either, make it mostly details, and don't put any (Wolf takes his sword and stabs his thigh) kind of text. Thats not what we mean by detail. We mean, you or your character describes it. Hope this helps. And redstone is called cables or wire. Whichever you like. Overall: 7/10 Judgment:DENIED
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There was even going to be a party for you. A big party. That all your friends were invited too. I invited your best friend the companion cube. Of course, he couldn't come because you murdered him. All your other friends couldn't come either, because you don't have any other friends. Because of how unlikeable you are. It says so right here in your personal file: UNLIKEABLE, liked by no one, a bitter, unlikeable loner, who's passing shall not be mourned, SHALL NOT BE MOURNED. That's exactly what it says. Very formal. Very official. It also says you were adopted, so thats funny too.
Application Out-Of-Character: -Minecraft Account Name:888888Zombies
-How old are you?: 13
-Time-Zone/Country of Residence: GMT+8 China
-Do you have a good grip on the English language/good grammar?:Yes.
-Small 2-3 Sentence Description of yourself: A mostly peaceful engineer that might ragekill.
-How much time could you be on the server weekly?: 1+ hours every day.
-How long have you played minecraft?:Since Beta 1.2
-What do you know about roleplaying? How long have you been doing it? What kind?:Roleplaying is that you pretend to be someone else in a background. I do it all the time in SMP. Peacefully.
-What do you expect this server will be like?: A huge server with friends/foes around.
-What other server(s) have you played on and why did you leave them?:Super-earth,because so less people roleplaying.
-Have you ever been banned before? if, why? ( Be Honest ):Yes,from a town in Super-Earth for breaking windows.
-Have you read, understood, and agreed to the rules? What about the lore?:Yes.
-What is a slime called on this server?: It says [Unknown].
-How did you hear about us?:Forums.
-Will you be willing to download and be active on our Mumble server?:No. In-Character:
-Character Name: San
-Biography: When the nuke hit China,he was (luckily) far away alone,builing a watchtower in Japan. After he lost his family (expect his brother,which is never seen again),he decided to learn combat skills.
-Character Family:Only a brother that is lost.
-Character Age: 13
-Character Appearance: A engineer with tools always in his hands.
-Character Personality: (Any fatal flaws?):Peaceful,while dangerous when raging.
-Occupation:Job? Engineer.
-Can your character read or write?:Yes.
-Can your character mine?:A little.
-Can your character build? (Holes in the ground do not count.): Yes.
-Can your character fight?: Pro with bare hands,normal at weapons, bad at ranged weapons.
-Can your character farm?:No.
-Does your character have any special skills?: Can do quick thinking. eg:Figuring out where he is in seconds.
-Does your character have any mental or physical disabilities? Any health problems?: A broken leg.
-Character Fears:-DESCRIBE an event where your character is in deep pain: (No *I dodge the raiders arrows*. Write it out.) That day that I lost my leg,I was under a crane. The controller missed and droped the cargo on my leg. The pain that the cargo sent to me let me knew my leg's gone,so I broke my leg,replaced it with a stick,and killed the controller with my shovel.
-A screenshot of your skin: (Please include a picture of the skin being worn, and a png of the skin itself.) I can't upload it, but it's the fifth one when you search "engineer" in The Skindex.
-Other Information: I will use ((*)) or brackets to speak in OOC in the local chat if needed or I will get banned!
Review:
Really all I can say is ADD A LOT MORE INFO TO EVERYTHING. This app is SEVERELY lacking in just about everything. You need to seriously beef up this entire app if you have any hopes of getting into this server. This isn't a bunch of random 7 year olds acting like children when they're supposed to be playing as a 28 year old, if you want that go to any other role-play server, like roleplay revolution, because for some reason, they don't have a whitelist. Overall: 1/10 Judgment:DENIED
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There was even going to be a party for you. A big party. That all your friends were invited too. I invited your best friend the companion cube. Of course, he couldn't come because you murdered him. All your other friends couldn't come either, because you don't have any other friends. Because of how unlikeable you are. It says so right here in your personal file: UNLIKEABLE, liked by no one, a bitter, unlikeable loner, who's passing shall not be mourned, SHALL NOT BE MOURNED. That's exactly what it says. Very formal. Very official. It also says you were adopted, so thats funny too.
Do you have a good grip on the English language/good grammar?: Im the best in class.
Small 2-3 Sentence Description of yourself: Blond, not so strong and quite good listener.
How much time could you be on the server weekly?: Logging on Everyday :biggrin.gif:
How long have you played minecraft?: Since Beta hit the world.
What do you know about roleplaying? How long have you been doing it? What kind?: On Roblox (dont play it anymore) i was a big Rper. Did it almost all the time. Lotsa versions. Werewolves, vampires, zombie survival m.m
What do you expect this server will be like?: Quite good :smile.gif:
What other server(s) have you played on and why did you leave them?: I play on Baconville.net, Rice-think.net but i haven't left rice-think.
Have you ever been banned before? if, why? ( Be Honest ): Nope. none. well one but that was for testing the kick'n banning system.
Have you read, understood, and agreed to the rules? What about the lore?: all rules read and understood.
What is a slime called on this server?: Due to the name of the server, i guess its just a goo of radioactive slime.
How did you hear about us?: First when i joined this Forum i found this place. i'd registred before but diden't find the page again :sad.gif:
Will you be willing to download and be active on our Mumble server?: Of course!
In-Character:
Character Name: Nathan Petrelli
Biography: As young he lived underground with his parents, but one day something horrific happened.
Then after the incident he was taken to a place that now is a waste to train for survival.
Character Family: Leah Petrelli (Mother) Noah Petrelli (Father) Serina Samsun (Long gone sister)
Character Age: 19
Character Appearance: Young, with a mark on his left arm, and found always with a book.
Character Personality: (Any fatal flaws?): As above, Mark on his left arm, He sometimes falls down to the nearest wall and is down for a while, and sometimes he get headaches that makes him scream in agony.
Occupation: Nothing. but he needs a house with books.
Can your character read or write?: he can do both.
Can your character mine?: Yes, but not for long.
Can your character build? (Holes in the ground do not count.): He can lift heavy things, so yes.
Can your character fight?: With the scaring memory of the incident, he would revenge his parents, but jump for a bullet for a friend.
Can your character farm?: Reading books he found some of farming from years ago.
Does your character have any special skills?: Increased Intelligence and Calculates the future by some minutes.
Does your character have any mental or physical disabilities? Any health problems?: Mental: Sudden faints and painfull headaches. Nothing else.
Character Fears: To return to his once beloved home.
DESCRIBE an event where your character is in deep pain: (No *I dodge the raiders arrows*. Write it out.)
An young Nathan was walking around in the city. All of sudden he hears: ''Destiny's my name, i help all, i help those who fall, lalalala lalala...''. Nathan starts to follow. after walking to the place he heard the song, he sees the girl and thinks: (Woow... what an cute girl...). after walking a while Nathan finds himself far away from the city district. ''Seems your the one.'' Nathan looked at the girl. ''What? what do you mean?'' Nathan Asked. '' From Him.''
The girl wasen't to see. Nathan was paralyzed for a little while, then after a while he runs back to the city district.
Blood, dead bodies, everything. Everyone was dead. He starts to run home. everythings quiet. he opens the door and sees in fright. Someone was holding the dead body of his mother. before he could react, the man took him by the arm, and made Nathan faint.
Then he woke up at a center on a camp.
''You were found in that city by some visitors. you were found breathing and with an ill mark.''
A screenshot of your skin: (Please include a picture of the skin being worn, and a png of the skin itself.)
Sorry, dont know how to do that. but i can describe it.
Brown hair, Green eyes, white skin, brown shirt with white T-shirt, blue jeans and brown shoes.
Other Information: I will use ((*)) or brackets to speak in OOC in the local chat if needed. adn im a serious Roleplayer.
Review:
Instantly I think "oh my god this guy is sooooo OP" You need to drastically improve this application. Your character can do anything, which is a huge no-no in this server. Take away at least two of his abilities. Also, your bio and EDP need to be much longer. You also need to add info as to why your character can and can't do things such as mine. Once you do all of that, your app might have a better chance of getting accepted. Overall: 3/10 Judgment:DENIED
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There was even going to be a party for you. A big party. That all your friends were invited too. I invited your best friend the companion cube. Of course, he couldn't come because you murdered him. All your other friends couldn't come either, because you don't have any other friends. Because of how unlikeable you are. It says so right here in your personal file: UNLIKEABLE, liked by no one, a bitter, unlikeable loner, who's passing shall not be mourned, SHALL NOT BE MOURNED. That's exactly what it says. Very formal. Very official. It also says you were adopted, so thats funny too.
-Time-Zone/Country of Residence: United States of America, Pacific Coast.
-Do you have a good grip on the English language/good grammar?: Yes.
-Small 2-3 Sentence Description of yourself: I’m a quiet, reserved guy. I spend most of my time Roleplaying or doing homework. My main hobbies are forum roleplaying, D&D, and video game based roleplaying.
-How much time could you be on the server weekly?: Probably 5-10 each week, perhaps more, since I will be on two servers.
-How long have you played minecraft?: About six months now.
-What do you know about roleplaying? How long have you been doing it? What kind?: I’m an experienced roleplaying who is beginning to develop an understanding of the smaller, more important parts of a story that make it realistic. I have been roleplaying for going on four years now, though most of that has been spent on forum based. Recently I started Roleplaying on SC2 and D&D.
-What do you expect this server will be like?: I hope it is a professional roleplaying server, though I am unsure how some things are found or acquired. I truly look forward to how some of the roleplaying aspects of the site work. Is there an overarching story? Or is it simple a role-play your survival story?
-What other server(s) have you played on and why did you leave them?: Ultimate Minecraft, which I am still a part of.
-Have you ever been banned before? If, why? (Be Honest): No.
-Have you read, understood, and agreed to the rules? What about the lore?: I have read most of the lore, though I see some parts of it a fairly unrealistic. (How the hell do you hit the moon? It takes 3 days for a rocket to travel there, while ICBM’s only go into the upper atmosphere.)
-What is a slime called on this server?: It’s only a pile of radioactive sludge, it isn’t really called anything.
-How did you hear about us?: Through Glimmar’s Steampunk, someone had your tag in their sig.
-Will you be willing to download and be active on our Mumble server?: Probably not, as I prefer to keep such chatting devices off when I am trying to work. I might spend some time on it when I am actually in the game.
-Biography:
Maeron was acquired by Faelon Tarriq in the summer of 2186. No one in the rural town of Bervinda knew how Faelon came upon this child, though they all knew it was not his biologically. The entire town could not help loving the little kid, who always had a way of putting a smile on the residents faces.
Maeron’s earliest memory was when he was around eight, and still in the care of Faelon Tarriq. At this early age he was a sickly child, living on the extra scraps Tarriq could get his hands on. Faelon, being the kind old man he was, taught Maeron the basics of how to read and write. Around this time he started to work with Faelon, keeping the cities walls in good condition. Also Faelon began to show the young Maeron how to use an old .22 rifle, which he grew quite attached too.
Faelon died at the ripe old age of 76 when Maeron was only ten years old. For around five months he wandered the streets of Bervinda, doing odd jobs and begging for food. Around this time a new resident showed up in town, buying an old, rundown shack on the outskirts. The man, Amedius Valdimar, became a sort of role model to the kid. Maeron would always prioritize the hunter’s supply runs, and would constantly beg him to become an apprentice.
At the age of eleven Maeron finally convinced Amedius to take him on as an apprentice. Due to his former training with firearms from Tarriq, his training went by relatively quickly. It was also at this time that Maeron was taught how to use close combat weapons. Before a half year of his apprenticeship had passed Maeron was taken on his first hunting expedition. During this he bagged two Xig’s and a Xow. This is most likely the happiest moment of his early childhood.
Two and a half years later Amedius was injured while hunting, losing his right leg to a fuel bot. Understanding that he could no longer care for the child, Amedius called in a favor with one of his best friends. Raanan Derevontre, a very successful merchant who made a small fortune between the various towns. While not one to immediately accept the idea of adopting the young Maeron, Raanan could not refuse his lifelong friend. Around a month later, when Raanan left for the city of Miseria Rocks, a new apprentice accompanied him.
Maeron proved quite useful on the journey, contributing to them having a more enjoyable dinner than usual, and using his physical strength to help them dig in during a Tsu Storm. Raanan’s 15 year old daughter, Kelia, hit it off immediately with Maeron, taking it upon herself to teach him to write. Raanan too grew to like Maeron, teaching the boy the aspects of accounting and haggling a good trade.
Five years would soon pass, Maeron earning his position in the family. During his time with the Derevontres, he worked to nearly double their wealth. Also during this time, he also grew close to Kelia Derevontre, closer than siblings to be. Then late one summer day is 2207, the both ran off, taking with them two rifles, a Mini14 and an AR15. Also with them was ten days of travel rations, and enough wealth to take care of them for several months.
Over the next two years they traveled the wastes together, following Raanan’s trade, while continuing to work as hunters. During this time they made a particularly valuable discovery, an old, battered, fallout shelter. They spent much of their time repairing and furbishing the shelter. Around this time their relationship was first strained, Kelia became pregnant. Over the next nine months they decided they could not take care of the child, yet they could not bring themselves to kill it. The decided to hold onto the child till it was two and a half years old, then leave it in her father’s care.
Maeron’s encounter with Raanan nearly cost him his life, as the elderly merchant nearly blew Maeron’s head off for running of with his daughter. Maeron instead took a different approach, breaking in and leaving the child in Raanan’s quarters. They would get no word of the child for several years, until they discovered that he was well cared for by the aging Raanan.
Then one day, in the late summer of 2211, not long after Maeron returned, that fateful day caught up with them. It started like any other day, Maeron woke Kelia with a kiss, and they both decided to go hunting. That day though, a single bullet would mix their blood together. After bagging several shots Maeron was shot through the hip. He returned fire, killing the assailant, only to see that the same shot that had pierced his skin had hit a major artery or Kelia, causing her to bleed out before his eyes. He would stare over the body for several hours before picking up her rifle, her supplies, and start to walk.
It would be nearly a week before he later stopped at a city, and that was only long enough to sell the Mini14 and its corresponding ammo, and restock his supplies. He would continue on a trek like so for several years, till he finally could no longer cry. He finally settled down in former Europe in the year 2213.
- Character Family: No biological family that he knows of. He has several adopted fathers. His first went by the name Fealon Tarriq, an old, gentle guard of the trade town Bervinda. When the old man died several years later, another man, a hunter by the name of Amedius Valdimar, adopted him. Several more years would pass and due to his inability to take care of Maeron, Amedius passed the twelve year old onto Raanan Derevontre, a wealthy merchant who made his living moving from town to town trading rare goods. During this time Kelia was his adoptive sister, and later his lover.
-Character Age: 27
-Character Appearance: jpg http://i2.listal.com/image/1672262/500full.
Maeron has a deep scar along his right hip. He has two tattoos, one in the shape of a dragon’s mouth over his right eye, the other a crude, homemade picture of Kelia Derevontre half-naked. He is also wearing a padded black leather combat uniform with biohazard seals and a gasmask.
-Character Personality: (Any fatal flaws?): Maeron is quiet and conserved, and will often keep to himself what he knows he must tell others. Also, he is very submissive to those he trusts, and can be easily exploited in such a way. He has a general distrust of women who try making advances on him, due to the painful memories of Kelia.
-Occupation: Maeron is a freelance hunter and trader. He developed much of his hunting ability from Amedius Valdimar, having gone on several hunting expeditions with him. Furthermore, over the years after he was passed on to Raanan Derevontre, he continued to tune his abilities. Also, he learned to read, write, and barter while being an adoptive son of Raanan Derevontre.
-Can your character read or write?: Yes, he can. When he was ten, Faelon Tarriq taught Maeron how to read. Around the age of fourteen he was adopted by Raanan Derevontre, a wealthy trader. Raanan, along with his daughter Kelia, taught Maeron how to write.
-Can your character mine?: Maeron can mine to a very basic degree, about enough to hollow out a small shelter. He is not skilled enough to dig any sort of exploration tunnel. He also has the skill necessary to dig out batteries that he might find embedded in walls.
-Can your character build? (Holes in the ground do not count.): Due to the necessity of survival, Maeron can build some basic structures, usually nothing more than a sheet metal shack. He is however, not an architect. Most of his understand of construction came from the years he spent with Kelia Derevontre (refer to bio).
-Can your character fight?: Being a freelance hunter and trader, the ability to fight is a necessity. He originally learned to use bows and firearms during his early childhood. His ability to use swords and bladed weapons comes from his time spent with Amedius Valdimar.
-Can your character farm?: No.
-Does your character have any special skills?: Maeron is experienced at navigating the wastes, and has also developed a personal code for conversing with trusted friends. (If needed I can supply a sample.)
-Does your character have any mental or physical disabilities? Any health problems?: Maeron is allergic to penicillin, and has suffered minor radiation poisoning in his life. Furthermore his right hip is somewhat weak from an old wound.
-Character Fears: Maeron fears growing close to someone, and then losing them, much the same way he lost Kelia. Furthermore he is deeply afraid of Raanan Derevontre, considering that he ran off with the man’s daughter, and then let her die. His deepest fear of all is dying a quiet, lonely death, unsung and unremembered.
-DESCRIBE an event where your character is in deep pain:
Maeron groaned in pain as he sat up slowly, feeling a knot in his back pop painfully. He muttered a curse as he stood from the wretched plank that could scarcely be called a bed. Rubbing his eyes gently he reached his hand over, flicking on the power feed of a lamp. Turning back to the bed he brushed his hand along Kelia’s cheek, pausing for a moment. After taking in the peaceful site for several minutes he bent down and kissed her cheek, causing her eyes to open slowly. He greeted her with a smile as he turned away.
“Glad to see you’re finally up… Anything you’re up to doing today?” Maeron asked as he quickly stripped, changing into his black, matted leather uniform. As he chatted he reached into a small storage unit built into the wall and pulled out a chunk of Xig, which he proceeded to cut into two equal parts with a quick slash of a knife.
Kelia yawned slightly as she stood, also changing into her own identical uniform. “That’s the last Xig we’ve got isn’t it, we should probably snag a few this morning. Also we’re running low on water, perhaps a trip to trade that Xow leather is in order?”
Maeron nodded in reply as he snapped the seals on his uniform close. As he fumbled with the straps on his gasmask he leaned over, giving Kelia a quick, brutal kiss. Smiling, they both proceeded to seal up the rest of their clothing.
Satisfied, Maeron palmed a reprogrammed hand scanner, which opened on a hydraulic hiss. Reaching in Maeron passed a half dozen boxes of ammo to Kelia, and grabbed the two most precious possessions they owned. The first, an old, battered AR15 which had been repaired more times than could be counted. The other was a simple Mini14, a brutally deadly weapon. Keeping the AR15 in hand, Maeron passed the Mini14 to Kelia. Almost in hindsight he grabbed two extra banana clips for both rifles, and two extra boxes of ammo.
Popping open his compass, Maeron palmed a second hand scanner, exposing them to the harsh wastelands. Kelia brushed past him, her Mini14 raised. Maeron watched as she descended down the side of the hill, waiting a handful of seconds before the radio blurted, “Sword Meets Field, Pattern Alpha Clear.”
On cue Maeron descended down the hill to Kelia, tapping his own radio, “Renegade Respond, Pattern Alpha Acknowledged, executing.” Skidding to his kneeds beside Kelia, he patted her on the back before raising his rifle. Zeroing in the scope he let it drift back and forth across the field. There… Now slowly, breath in….
His eyes fixed on a Xig, and he breathed out slightly, easing the trigger…
BAM!
As the Xig fell he adjusted his aim, firing at the same time Kelia did.
BAM! BAMBAM!
Satisfied Maeron lowered his rifle, looking down as the last of the herd ran off, leaving four of their kind bleeding on the ground. Smiling under her mask, Kelia stood up and grasped his hand. Maeron, letting her pull him up, took the first step down tow-.
BAMBAMBAM!
Before a second had passed Maeron had tackled Kelia back into the trench, snapping his rifle around. Zeroing in on a faint figure in the darkness Maeron pulled the trigger once.
BAM!
The figure collapsed backward. Maeron put his foot forward, putting his weight onto his right hip and, “Gah!”
Pain laced up through his hip and into his side. Collapsing he grasped his hip, his hand being covered in blood. “****, Kelia… Pass me the med kit… Kelia? Kelia?”
-Other Information:
I will use ((*)) or brackets to speak in OOC in the local chat if needed or I will get banned.
Also for some reason it won't let me show my pics as images, sorry.
Review:
Bravo! Bravo! This is a great app! It has quantity and quality, mixed with suspense and I actually wanted to see what happened after the dark figure fell. I was asking myself "Who was that? What was that? And what happened to Kelia?" This is the type of app that we are in short supply of. You people whom have yet to be whitelisted, use this app as an example of what your app should be! Overall: 9/10 Judgment: Добро пожаловать на сервер! ACCEPTED!
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
There was even going to be a party for you. A big party. That all your friends were invited too. I invited your best friend the companion cube. Of course, he couldn't come because you murdered him. All your other friends couldn't come either, because you don't have any other friends. Because of how unlikeable you are. It says so right here in your personal file: UNLIKEABLE, liked by no one, a bitter, unlikeable loner, who's passing shall not be mourned, SHALL NOT BE MOURNED. That's exactly what it says. Very formal. Very official. It also says you were adopted, so thats funny too.
To: noobs who can't get into the server:
Woah! I got accepted on the first try for 3 apps in a row! Y'all just got Riengo-rolled! !
With my (un)sincerest wishes,
Riengo
To: noobs who can't get into the server:
Woah! I got accepted on the first try for 3 apps in a row! Y'all just got Riengo-rolled! !
With my (un)sincerest wishes,
Riengo
Lawl, short and simple :biggrin.gif:
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
There was even going to be a party for you. A big party. That all your friends were invited too. I invited your best friend the companion cube. Of course, he couldn't come because you murdered him. All your other friends couldn't come either, because you don't have any other friends. Because of how unlikeable you are. It says so right here in your personal file: UNLIKEABLE, liked by no one, a bitter, unlikeable loner, who's passing shall not be mourned, SHALL NOT BE MOURNED. That's exactly what it says. Very formal. Very official. It also says you were adopted, so thats funny too.
The Meaning of Life, the Universe, and Everything.
Join Date:
2/1/2011
Posts:
303
Minecraft:
Joahkiim
Member Details
Out-Of-Character:
Minecraft Account Name: Jimmjim
How old are you?: 13
Time-Zone/Country of Residence: Norway
Do you have a good grip on the English language/good grammar?: Im the best in class.
Small 2-3 Sentence Description of yourself:
im blond (or close to brown ).
I have green eyes :smile.gif:
I like running around in the rain not caring whats gonna hit me.
How much time could you be on the server weekly?: Logging on Everyday :biggrin.gif:
How long have you played minecraft?: Since Christmas and Beta came.
What do you know about roleplaying? I know alot of roleplaying, done it for a looooong while.
What do you expect this server will be like?: Quite apocalyptic and cool :biggrin.gif:
What other server(s) have you played on and why did you leave them?: I play on Baconville.net, Rice-think.net but i haven't left rice-think.
Have you ever been banned before? if, why? ( Be Honest ): No. Not at all.
Have you read, understood, and agreed to the rules? What about the lore?: I have read all the rules, and the lore is quite shocking. but awesome at the same time.
What is a slime called on this server?: Its simply a moving pile of sludge. Otherwise its unknown.
How did you hear about us?: This Forum. just went through everything and bam, there you were.
Will you be willing to download and be active on our Mumble server?: Indeed.
In-Character:
Character Name: Nathan Petrelli
Biography: Young and smart boy that have read hundreds of books, hes a quite possitive boy with many thoughts of the future, one day thinking the world will be as before, but with an sad and shocking past. He can aim a crossbow very good, giving a bit advange against raiders hunting for victims to rob. Along with that, he knows well to know where Batteries and Ancient Artifacts are found.
Character Family: Leah Petrelli (mother) and Marcus Petrelli. (father)
Character Age: 19 years old.
Character Appearance: Appears as a young, possitive boy with a sword ready if needed
Character Personality: (Any fatal flaws?): He likes reading, painting and exploring.
Occupation: Artist. He paints.
Can your character read or write?: he can read, but not write.
Can your character mine?: He fits better as a Defender.
Can your character build? (Holes in the ground do not count.): yes he can.
Can your character fight?: Very well.
Can your character farm?: he finds growing electronic items wrong.
Does your character have any special skills?: He can cook some food.
Does your character have any mental or physical disabilities? Any health problems?: He has two mental disabilities: Sudden faints and painfull headaches.
Character Fears: Venturing back to his once beloved home.
DESCRIBE an event where your character is in deep pain: (No *I dodge the raiders arrows*. Write it out.)
An Young Nathan was running. The school bullies was teasing him for reading books.
''Get him!'', ''Throw him in the sludge!''. Nathan was a well runner, and went on the roofs.
''Coward!'' he heard behind him. they were held back of for a while by some obstacles.
'Why wont they leave me alone...' Nathan was thinking. as he jumped across the roofs, grabbing pipes and swinging over, he rememberd: The houses ends here.
Nathan looked back. They were coming. As he looked down under him, he thought: ''Better daring than falling to them.'' Nathan jumped and in the last while, grabbed another pipe.
''He jumped!'', ''This wasen't my idea! im outta here!'' Nathan heard above him.
'' phew. that was -'' Nathan looked down. mysterious beasts, probably mutants of the city, was looking at him. Nathan climbed the pipe up to the city again. as he walked trough the street, he heard screaming and a bang from his house. Nathan ran in. Nobody to see. he then heard a bunch of screams and splats. The alarm sound. Mutants. Nathan ran upstairs into his room, then his closet. he fell down to the plate of the closet. ''Dont find me, dont find me, dont find me ,please...'' Nathan begged. after a while there were silence. Nathan peeked out of the door. Blood marks and bloodied bodies lying to the streets. Nathan was alone.
Then he heard a moan and another strange sound. Nathan ran up to the surface, not knowing what he'll find waiting.
A screenshot of your skin: (Please include a picture of the skin being worn, and a png of the skin itself.)
Sorry, dont know how to do that. but i can describe it.
Brown hair, Green eyes, white skin, brown shirt with white T-shirt, blue jeans and brown shoes.
Other Information: I will use ((*)) or brackets to speak in OOC in the local chat if needed. and im a serious Roleplayer.
Thankye Emperor Penguin, I aim to please. If I may ask, where along the lines did I lise that 1 point?
EDIT: I'm still not on the white-list.
EDIT2: FYI, there are a few apps on the previous page that have not been looked at.
1. It wasn't any of your fault, it was just that perfect 10's are like 4000 words long lol (not literally)
2. Dangirdas has to whitelist you, I just accept or deny
3. I'll get to them later
4. Connection refused? Server crash?
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
There was even going to be a party for you. A big party. That all your friends were invited too. I invited your best friend the companion cube. Of course, he couldn't come because you murdered him. All your other friends couldn't come either, because you don't have any other friends. Because of how unlikeable you are. It says so right here in your personal file: UNLIKEABLE, liked by no one, a bitter, unlikeable loner, who's passing shall not be mourned, SHALL NOT BE MOURNED. That's exactly what it says. Very formal. Very official. It also says you were adopted, so thats funny too.
There was even going to be a party for you. A big party. That all your friends were invited too. I invited your best friend the companion cube. Of course, he couldn't come because you murdered him. All your other friends couldn't come either, because you don't have any other friends. Because of how unlikeable you are. It says so right here in your personal file: UNLIKEABLE, liked by no one, a bitter, unlikeable loner, who's passing shall not be mourned, SHALL NOT BE MOURNED. That's exactly what it says. Very formal. Very official. It also says you were adopted, so thats funny too.
I completely understand what you guys are trying to do, and it's not allowed. You can't take the easy way out by just making one app for two characters, you need an app for both of them, separately. Both of them need to have their own apps that differ quite a bit. You can have the same beginning to the bios, but they need to have their own events that are unique to them, I'm absolutely sure that even if they are twins, they've had experiences that the other hasn't. You can't have one app for two characters, unless Dangi or Snail wants you to have two characters in one app, it's going to be denied over and over. I quite honestly don't care if you're trying to be "creative," to me it looks like you're trying to take the easy way out by making one bio, thus cutting your work in half. Thats not how it works around here. One App = One Character Thats that. Make two apps, or no whitelist.
Im not doing the random things anymore, I've run out of ideas
Review:
Dude, once again you're having the same issues with the other apps, too little info. You need to add detail as to why Wolf can't or can do things. You also need to add more to his bio and EDP. They both seem to be lacking quite a bit. Not as much your bio as your EDP. Just add a paragraph or so to the bio and it'll be perfect. Make sure the EDP isn't just dialogue either, make it mostly details, and don't put any (Wolf takes his sword and stabs his thigh) kind of text. Thats not what we mean by detail. We mean, you or your character describes it. Hope this helps. And redstone is called cables or wire. Whichever you like.
Overall: 7/10
Judgment: DENIED
Review:
Really all I can say is ADD A LOT MORE INFO TO EVERYTHING. This app is SEVERELY lacking in just about everything. You need to seriously beef up this entire app if you have any hopes of getting into this server. This isn't a bunch of random 7 year olds acting like children when they're supposed to be playing as a 28 year old, if you want that go to any other role-play server, like roleplay revolution, because for some reason, they don't have a whitelist.
Overall: 1/10
Judgment: DENIED
Review:
Instantly I think "oh my god this guy is sooooo OP" You need to drastically improve this application. Your character can do anything, which is a huge no-no in this server. Take away at least two of his abilities. Also, your bio and EDP need to be much longer. You also need to add info as to why your character can and can't do things such as mine. Once you do all of that, your app might have a better chance of getting accepted.
Overall: 3/10
Judgment: DENIED
Review:
Bravo! Bravo! This is a great app! It has quantity and quality, mixed with suspense and I actually wanted to see what happened after the dark figure fell. I was asking myself "Who was that? What was that? And what happened to Kelia?" This is the type of app that we are in short supply of. You people whom have yet to be whitelisted, use this app as an example of what your app should be!
Overall: 9/10
Judgment: Добро пожаловать на сервер! ACCEPTED!
Woah! I got accepted on the first try for 3 apps in a row! Y'all just got Riengo-rolled! !
With my (un)sincerest wishes,
Riengo
Lawl, short and simple :biggrin.gif:
Minecraft Account Name: Jimmjim
How old are you?: 13
Time-Zone/Country of Residence: Norway
Do you have a good grip on the English language/good grammar?: Im the best in class.
Small 2-3 Sentence Description of yourself:
im blond (or close to brown ).
I have green eyes :smile.gif:
I like running around in the rain not caring whats gonna hit me.
How much time could you be on the server weekly?: Logging on Everyday :biggrin.gif:
How long have you played minecraft?: Since Christmas and Beta came.
What do you know about roleplaying? I know alot of roleplaying, done it for a looooong while.
What do you expect this server will be like?: Quite apocalyptic and cool :biggrin.gif:
What other server(s) have you played on and why did you leave them?: I play on Baconville.net, Rice-think.net but i haven't left rice-think.
Have you ever been banned before? if, why? ( Be Honest ): No. Not at all.
Have you read, understood, and agreed to the rules? What about the lore?: I have read all the rules, and the lore is quite shocking. but awesome at the same time.
What is a slime called on this server?: Its simply a moving pile of sludge. Otherwise its unknown.
How did you hear about us?: This Forum. just went through everything and bam, there you were.
Will you be willing to download and be active on our Mumble server?: Indeed.
In-Character:
Character Name: Nathan Petrelli
Biography: Young and smart boy that have read hundreds of books, hes a quite possitive boy with many thoughts of the future, one day thinking the world will be as before, but with an sad and shocking past. He can aim a crossbow very good, giving a bit advange against raiders hunting for victims to rob. Along with that, he knows well to know where Batteries and Ancient Artifacts are found.
Character Family: Leah Petrelli (mother) and Marcus Petrelli. (father)
Character Age: 19 years old.
Character Appearance: Appears as a young, possitive boy with a sword ready if needed
Character Personality: (Any fatal flaws?): He likes reading, painting and exploring.
Occupation: Artist. He paints.
Can your character read or write?: he can read, but not write.
Can your character mine?: He fits better as a Defender.
Can your character build? (Holes in the ground do not count.): yes he can.
Can your character fight?: Very well.
Can your character farm?: he finds growing electronic items wrong.
Does your character have any special skills?: He can cook some food.
Does your character have any mental or physical disabilities? Any health problems?: He has two mental disabilities: Sudden faints and painfull headaches.
Character Fears: Venturing back to his once beloved home.
DESCRIBE an event where your character is in deep pain: (No *I dodge the raiders arrows*. Write it out.)
An Young Nathan was running. The school bullies was teasing him for reading books.
''Get him!'', ''Throw him in the sludge!''. Nathan was a well runner, and went on the roofs.
''Coward!'' he heard behind him. they were held back of for a while by some obstacles.
'Why wont they leave me alone...' Nathan was thinking. as he jumped across the roofs, grabbing pipes and swinging over, he rememberd: The houses ends here.
Nathan looked back. They were coming. As he looked down under him, he thought: ''Better daring than falling to them.'' Nathan jumped and in the last while, grabbed another pipe.
''He jumped!'', ''This wasen't my idea! im outta here!'' Nathan heard above him.
'' phew. that was -'' Nathan looked down. mysterious beasts, probably mutants of the city, was looking at him. Nathan climbed the pipe up to the city again. as he walked trough the street, he heard screaming and a bang from his house. Nathan ran in. Nobody to see. he then heard a bunch of screams and splats. The alarm sound. Mutants. Nathan ran upstairs into his room, then his closet. he fell down to the plate of the closet. ''Dont find me, dont find me, dont find me ,please...'' Nathan begged. after a while there were silence. Nathan peeked out of the door. Blood marks and bloodied bodies lying to the streets. Nathan was alone.
Then he heard a moan and another strange sound. Nathan ran up to the surface, not knowing what he'll find waiting.
A screenshot of your skin: (Please include a picture of the skin being worn, and a png of the skin itself.)
Sorry, dont know how to do that. but i can describe it.
Brown hair, Green eyes, white skin, brown shirt with white T-shirt, blue jeans and brown shoes.
Other Information: I will use ((*)) or brackets to speak in OOC in the local chat if needed. and im a serious Roleplayer.
EDIT: I'm still not on the white-list.
EDIT2: FYI, there are a few apps on the previous page that have not been looked at.
1. It wasn't any of your fault, it was just that perfect 10's are like 4000 words long lol (not literally)
2. Dangirdas has to whitelist you, I just accept or deny
3. I'll get to them later
4. Connection refused? Server crash?
And btw, I still can't get on the server. It needs to be updated.
:|
Nope.avi
btw wait for me when you get on penguin, if its not any trouble.