I honestly didn't have many problems with this application, but the biography was a bit short.
Why is Zaxle such a sleazy guy? What was his child life like? Why did he decide "hey! I'm going to be an adventurer!", at such a young age?
Answering all of these questions will definitely help the length of your biography, I feel.
With your RP responses, you do seem to know "what" you want Zaxle to be, I just want to know "why".
Finally, I am fairly uncomfortable with you sharing an account with another person to play on the server. If you are RamshackleRatty, we do have a place for you to apply for a second character on the Enjin website. If not, I would much prefer if you acquired your own Minecraft account.
Thanks other staff for taking this off my plate, I'd just like to state one thing I personally am not too bothered by the sharing of an account, you just have to realise you'll be treated as one person and while sharing you'll have no chance for becoming staff.
-Do you have any prior roleplay-related experience, if so could you give an example?
A member of The Land of Karchan, a roleplaying MUD, for over a decade; a guild leader in the Kingdom of Aeonis Minecraft server.
-Define Power-gaming in your own words:
Power-gaming and/or god-modding involves a player ignoring roleplay, such as damage received to their character, or forcing an unblockable attack (i.e. auto-hitting), to give a couple examples. It is essentially making a character overpowered and disrupting roleplay balance.
-Define Meta-gaming in your own words:
Meta-gaming, in most cases, is to utilize information during roleplay that your character should not be privy to, usually things the player can or has seen outside of the direct interactions of the game. This can include information taken from ooc conversations, forum posts, or simple things like miraculously seeing through a person's disguise by reading the name displayed above their character's head (to offer an example from personal experience).
----IC Info----
-Character name:
Madeline Goldshire
-Character race:
Dwelf
-Character age:
35
-Character Occupation:
Tinkerer/Craftsman; Jack of all Trades
-Character description:
Small even by dwarven and dwelven standards at scarcely three feet tall, Madeline is nonetheless stronger than her size would imply, inheriting her father's denser frame in comparison to most of her kin. She is possessing of a fairly wiry build--strong by dwelf standards certainly but lacking the sheer brute force of a full blooded dwarf--and fair-skinned with a smattering of freckles lining her cheeks below vivid green eyes, a wild curtain of red hair framing her face when it isn't tied back under a patterned kerchief. Her hands and forearms show the signs of a person used to working with their hands, rugged and laced with small scars despite the heavy gloves she would typically wear. Another scar gouges a small line across her left eyebrow, a reminder not to look too closely at exploding debris.
-Character personality and traits:
To call Madeline "eccentric" would, while not entirely inaccurate, do the young woman a disservice. She is merely a very curious individual, more often than not to a rather explosive fault. She is a steadfast woman, surviving an inevitable childhood of attempted bullying and prejudice for her mixed blood--even in Barkamsted--and growing stronger for it. She takes no guff from people and is not above throwing down despite being no larger than a human child, giving her the nickname of "Mad Maddy" for more than just her eccentricities.
Maddy sometimes displays a ferocious thirst for knowledge, which tends to sidetrack her from her regular work and has lead to more than one dangerous and/or inconceivably useless invention. In particular Madeline has a fascination with the curious element redstone, and though she is amazingly dreadful with the stuff, nonetheless loves tinkering with concepts around it and things that inevitably go boom. It is often difficult to tell whether she is a latent genius, or just exceptionally dangerous when tinkering with things outside of normal construction. That said, she is otherwise quite dependable as a crafter in the footsteps of her father, and can be seen quite happily hammering away both in the deepest mines, or the tallest of towers.
-Character biography:
Madeline was born in Barkamsted, the only child of the dwarf Gaius Goldshire and Vanya of the elves. Gaius, not much for battle but possessing a knack for building, served on the defensive line during the Alliance's defense of Barkamsted, helping shore the walls of the city against the Pact's invasion. Down in the trenches as it were, Gaius formed a camaraderie with Vanya, where the elfin woman worked as a healer for refugees and those wounded during the siege. Despite tensions between their races before and after the war, Gaius and Vanya remained close for several years, continuing their work in helping rebuild Barkamsted, with Vanya eventually bearing a daughter. The girl was given the name Madeline, a decidedly human name, in the hopes it would help her fit in with the mixed blood of the city.
From a young age, Madeline was clearly going to be Daddy's girl, latching onto Gaius' talent for crafting and reaching for his hammer before she was even old enough to stand. As a toddler she was terror in her father's workshop, constantly trying to dismantle everything to see how it worked. Her parents were both keen on their daughter's education--though they often disagreed on what that education should be--and Madeline absorbed everything they taught her with reckless abandon. Reckless in fact became something of a defining descriptor for the girl as she reached her teen years, her tinkerer's spirit getting her into trouble more often than not, not the least of which a particular incident with one of the city's cannonades that left her with a not insignificant scar and a well-learned lesson in combustion--not to mention several weeks of house arrest.
Now, thirty-five years old, if not thirty-five years wise, Madeline works as something of a freelance craftsman, taking over for her father--somewhat loosely--as he has for the time being retired from Barkamsted to help with reclamation of the ruins of Thonduhm, his home city, taking Vanya with him. Mining, building, and tinkering on her own projects in her free time, Madeline goes where the work takes her.
-Please give us a short RP response to these two scenarios:
You’re walking around the markets at around noon. There’s a lot of people around you, still gathering their items as they prepare to shut down their many stands. Suddenly you feel a gentle lifting of your coin purse as a child graces you and soon after they take off sprinting. You have been robbed.
-As the daughter of a dwarf, Madeline always tends to keep one hand close to her coin purse while in a crowd, and her stature puts her at virtually eye level with any child daring enough to try and steal from a stranger. Nonetheless Maddy is momentarily distracted by a particular trinket on display, only spinning as the tell tale lightening on her belt raises the alarm. Bewildered for but a moment, the woman bolts off after the delinquent, and despite her small stature proves to be lightning quick over short distances, catching the thief in a flying tackle and sending them both into the dirt, much to the alarm of those passing by around them. Retrieving her money, Madeline flashes a disarming smile to the small crowd around her, who return to their own business as the dwelf gives the thief a light smack atop his head. Rising to her feet, she gives the child a quick once over; perhaps seeing something of a kindred spirit in the boy, she reaches into her purse and plonks a single coin into the now puzzled thief's hands, before dusting herself off and scampering back to get a better look at that trinket from before.
You’re heading back to the city through the woods when you hear a whining coming from nearby. Upon further investigation you come across a grey-coloured wolf that appears to have its leg caught in a bear trap. Around it is three smaller lumps of fur, obviously puppies belonging to the trapped mother. Without help, they’ll all die, but wolf skins are quite valuable too, not to mention that the nearby farms suffer quite a bit from the wolf population.
-Madeline purses her lips, staring at the trapped wolf and its offspring as she weighs her options. Her eyes dart toward eastward, to where she knows one of the nearer farms lies not far from here. It's possible the owner of the farm is even the one who set the trap. The woman's mind wanders this way for a bit, before coming back into focus on the wolf. True enough that the mother's skin would likely be a valuable prize, but Madeline has neither the tools nor the stomach for the job, her eyes constantly coming back to land their gaze on the wolf's pups. Her head rolls from shoulder to shoulder, a groan uttering through her teeth before she comes to a decision. "Shh, shh," she whispers at the wolf, who stares growling now between pained whines. Madeline doesn't quite possess the strength to force the trap back open, but she does have a hammer, wedge, and a penchant for dismantling things. With a quick hand she dodges around the wolf to land a solid crack to the traps mechanisms; the spring flies free as the trap rather implodes on itself before falling apart, Madeline quickly jumping back as the freed wolf jumps between her and its pups. Before she can consider the ramifications of letting the wolf go, Madeline quickly departs the scene to allow nature to take its own course in the family's survival from there on.
Your application was very well written and an absolute pleasure to read. Thank you very much for your interest in the server.
There is only one minor thing we'd like to point out to you, and that is that redstone is actually not something that is used to tinker in our lore. It is used as an item for blood, and an ingredient for certain recipes. This will absolutely not stop you from using it mechanically, but the mention of it should never make it into roleplay.
We both agree that those are acceptable terms, Oxide. Thank you.
I've added a bit to his biography with special care to the points made by Paragon. (Thank you for the constructive criticism! I hope that with these changes, I have provided enough to make his app satisfactory! ;o; )
As a side note, I also changed the skype listed, as I had moved skype accounts and forgotten!
Thank you guys for all the hard work you do, and for taking the time to read through all this stuff o 3o
---OOC Info----
-Minecraft IGN: RamshackleRatty (shared w/ the Ratty you all know I and love!)
-Skype name (Optional, for server OOC chat): m17nu4
-Do you have any prior roleplay-related experience, if so could you give an example?
I have been roleplaying and larping since I was a kid, and constantly improving. Most recently I have been participating in D&D, pathfinder, and several semi-lit homestuck-related roleplays.
-Define Power-gaming in your own words:
Power-gaming is a sub-section of “god-modding,” which includes auto-hitting, not allowing other players to respond, taking control of others' characters, particularly without permission, etc.
-Define Meta-gaming in your own words:
Meta-gaming is using knowledge that you, as an individual, have for something you would do in character. As a short example: I personally know that Zaos sells raw fish for 1.60, however my proposed character has not moved into town, and therefore would not know that. To have my character supposedly knowing that prior to actually in-character learning that would be meta-gaming.
----IC Info----
-Character name: Zaxle Giexam
-Character race: Goblin
-Character age: 19. (by most lore this is considered a good bit in adulthood, but pretty distant from middle age. Since goblin age is not specifically listed in Saphriel's lore, please let me know if this is accurate to you guys!)
Zaxle stands a whole 3'6”, though not standing straight, as he is never seen to do so, and he weighs a mere 86lbs. As any goblin does, he has sleek, greenish-yellow skin, which would have a greasy feel, should anyone touch him. He has buggy yellow-orange eyes, which often dart about. He is incredibly thin, and short, even for a goblin. He has knobbly, bulbous joints, especially his knees. He has tears in both of his long, pointed ears, and wears a leather cap and goggles upon his head, which push said ears down and cause them to stick out quite far. Upon seeing Zaxle, one may note that he has exceptionally large ears, hands, and feet, compared to his otherwise, frail proportions, which further lend to his awkward appearance. He wears, torn, raggedy clothing in shades of brown. He wears a belt, fastened to which is a coin pouch that he guards incredibly closely, as well as his trusty dagger. Zaxle is often dirty and unkempt. The only clean thing about him is his brass ring, which he is to be seen polishing quite frequently.
-Character personality and traits:
Zaxle is not the kind of character one would trust around a child. Or really trust at all in general. He is notoriously dishonest, and will lie about anything to save his skin, or make a quick buck. He is incredibly clever in this fashion only. Aside from his cleverness of tricks and lies, he is otherwise dull. Zaxle is fairly illiterate, and non-verbose, though he doesn't care terribly much. Zaxle is only out for himself. He enjoys the work he does, and desires strongly to be rich. (Although, to be frank, I think he just likes the pretty shinies.) He's incredibly stingy and won't spend a copper more than he absolutely has to. If Zaxle takes a liking to you, you will know, and he will be even more vulgar, crude, and loud than normal.
-Character biography:
Zaxle Giexam hails from a small village of goblins, near an old abandoned Dwarven mine. He was likely inbred, and was one of 14 siblings, most of whom were sisters. As a wee goblin, Zaxle was often teased for his looks, and beat down for being such a small and easy target. His family's cottage was small and humble, and due to the large size of their family, the Giexam home was a poor one. The cottage was falling apart, was overcrowded, and Zaxle avoided it as well as he could, preferring the company of a local gang over his family. It was at this time in his life, which he discovered the thrill of theft, and the joy of money.
As Zaxle grew, so did his family. By the age of 15 (goblin adulthood), his childhood home was bursting at the seams with children and adults alike. Zaxle needed to get away, and to breathe. Since he fancied himself an adventurer he left his small village, to see what else was out there, but mostly to get away from the life and family he had grown to resent. There had to be anything else than crowded goblin cottages, and empty dwarven mines. From that point forward he would travel as a hired sword, pickpocket, and general scam artist. However, occasionally Zaxle would find honest work to keep busy, such as mining and entertaining. Zaxle found that the people he would encounter found his awkward appearance and mannerisms comical. Rather than being offended, Zaxle took this to his advantage and performed on the streets of Saphriel as a fool.
It was during this time that he was approached by an official, (who likely believed him to be an honest traveler and performer). Zaxle was offered compensation to move to Barkamsted, in order to uphold the peace treaty which was so labouringly fostered between his people and Zaxle's. Zaxle eagerly agreed, for the meager compensation alone, but the adventure of moving on to another town, with new pockets full of gold excited him equally.
-Please give us a short RP response to these two scenarios.:
You’re walking around the markets at around noon. There’s a lot of people around you, still gathering their items as they prepare to shut down their many stands. Suddenly you feel a gentle lifting of your coin purse as a child graces you and soon after they take off sprinting. You have been robbed.
Zaxle felt the small creature grasp his precious coin purse just a moment too late. The goblin gritted his yellowed teeth and swallowed obscenities only momentarily. “GET BACK HERE! YOU FILTHY! MONGREL! WHELP!” he yowled, darting after the child. Zaxle followed closely on the child's heels, gaining on them. He leaped forth to tackle the child to the ground. He hissed and spit as he grabbed for his purse back. As his fingers made contact, he pulled hard and sent several coins flying. The child made for the spilled coins and ran before Zaxle could pick himself up from the ground. The entire crowd was watching and Zaxle knew the guard would likely be called on him anytime. He wrote it off as a loss, but swore to remember the child's face to exact revenge some day....
- - -
You’re heading back to the city through the woods when you hear a whining coming from nearby. Upon further investigation you come across a grey-coloured wolf that appears to have its leg caught in a bear trap. Around it is three smaller lumps of fur, obviously puppies belonging to the trapped mother. Without help, they’ll all die, but wolf skins are quite valuable too, not to mention that the nearby farms suffer quite a bit from the wolf population.
Zaxle keeps his distance from the wolf mother as he observes the trap. He sees that the creature before him is much larger than he is. Even when it is caught in a trap, he fears the bodily harm it could cause. With a sneer and chuckle, an idea dawns upon the goblin. He will wait....
Zaxle sits a ways away watching the wolf family, and waiting for the mother to bleed out, and pups to starve. It takes longer than he'd like. He picks his teeth with his dagger while he waits. “Hurry,” he spits at them from the distance, clearly irritated. Once they have died he realizes he can only carry the pups, due to his size and limited strength. He curses everything for losing the coin of a wolf pelt, so he tries the drag the wolf and the trap both into town....
Zaxle makes it maybe a quarter of the way before he is exhausted and falls asleep on the corpse of the animal, with its' deceased young in a sack across his shoulder. “No one can steal now,” he cackles softly as he drifts to exhausted sleep.
The changes you made to your character's background have been deemed sufficient. Your character seems like he will be very interesting and fun to interact with, and his biography has been much improved.
We are looking forward to seeing you on server!
There were multiple problems I encountered throughout this application, I will start from the start to the end of your app:
-PowerGaming: Your definition of Powergaming is rather lackluster.
-Character description: Your description consists of 2 sentences, where it'd be preferred to have 1-2 paragraphs, getting a better known look and visualization of the character
-Personality: I understand that Ulf is a kind soul, but 4 small single lined sentences, don't really make for an exciting character.
-Biography: The bio while it isn't all that bad, it is still rather short.
Make these changes, and add detail to the following selected categories, and we will happily revise your application!
-Skype name: kayleighisnotadinosaur (but already in the skype group)
-Do you have any prior roleplay-related experience, if so could you give an example? Yes. Only on Minecraft, mostly medieval roleplays. Exteria and Realm of Arion. I've played a future-themed one as well called The Last Ark. In Realm of Arion I practiced being a magic user and helped found an outpost, and in Exteria I became a high judge for the Kingdom. I’m also currently playing another character on this server.
-Define Power-gaming in your own words: When you make your character over-powered in order to automatically be stronger than other characters and win every battle. It is also when you make your character learn new skills at an unrealistically fast rate. Anything that gives you an unfair advantage over others.
-Define Meta-gaming in your own words: When your character knows something from reading chat or you as the player sees a character's name and your character thus knows it. This of course is unfair, as this allows less opportunity to discover information through your character.
-Character Occupation: She does not have a job, and has never had one. But she loves reading and writing. She’ll probably find a job somewhere while RPing.
-Character description: Zvirene Elindiir is a mere 19 years old, and stands short and slender, her height reaching just less than 1.5 meters, because of her father being a short demon. She wears only dresses, her favorite being a white long-sleeved dress that reaches down to her ankles, with a brown corset that highlights her feminine figure. She has wavy blue hair that she drapes over her one shoulder, and that hangs in her face, concealing her red eye. Her revealed eye is a bright, shimmering blue, exactly like her mother’s. She walks around barefoot, as it appeals to the wild, free side in her. She dislikes shoes – too confining. She also had a thin tail underneath her dress with a pointed end, and two dark horns protruding from her skull that she keeps covered behind two bows tied with white, silk ribbon. Her skin is an ashy grey – a lighter shade of what her father’s skin was.
-Character personality and traits: Zvriene has never dealt with people other than Ticia, and so has terrible people skills. She may come across as bossy, stubborn, rude or selfish, but not really intending to be. She does however, intend to prove she is highly intelligent to others, as this is what she takes pride in and that may come across as a little patronizing. She doesn’t tend to shy away from a situation, instead embracing it, but most likely in an absurd way.
However, living both out in the woods and being part demon, she is quite driven by her instincts. She can get angry and upset quickly when not given what she wants, and will run if confronted. However, if driven to total anger or attacked with no means of escaping, her true demon colors might show, and she may try claw or rip her way out. This has never happened to her, however, so she does not think she is capable of fighting. If in a pickle, she prefers to run, using her dark magic to her advantage.
Otherwise she is clever, quirky, curious and determined. She is almost always writing or scribbling away at her notes, or reading her journals, and is drawn to any academic piece of writing like a fly to honey.
-Character biography: Zvriene is the daughter of a very powerful black demon, of whom no name or other sort of identity is known. Her mother is a high elf named Haerie Elindiir, and she was beautiful, with light blue hair and eyes, much like her daughter’s. She had peachy, pale skin, was tall and slender, and had long pointed ears. She was a beautiful elf, but a crazy one. Haerie lived in a very small village in the Elven woods, amongst the tree-tops with the other high elves. This small settlement was known as Greenwood, for many trunks of trees in the area were made of light green wood. There were some dark elves that lived at the bases of the trees, in homes carved into some of the larger trees. The high elves lived in peaceful co-existence with the dark elves, but the high elves definitely lived a more civilized, advanced lifestyle. According to them at least.
Haerie was obsessed with dark magic and meeting a demon, and used to tell other elves of her plans to summon such a monstrosity. Because of this, many elves avoided her, which left her more time to her studying. She kept hundreds of journals, noting all the experiments she had tried and all the ways in which one could use black magic. The elven council of Greenwood soon learnt of her plans to summon a demon, and decided to banish her to the bottoms of the trees, amongst the dark elves. She was not deterred from her goal, and began plans to rip a hole in the barrier that divided the demon realm from the living realm, taking after her role model, Zvirak. She believed this would save the world from the Pact that was fast approaching.
“I helped her, because she was kind to me. She never saw me as a mere dark elf, she saw me as an equal, that also needed saving from the Pact.” The kind, elderly dark elf Ticia explained to Zvirene who sat across from Ticia. Zvirene looked to Ticia with curious eyes – one a bloody red in color and the other a light blue. “When she first arrived at the bottoms of the trees,” Ticia carried on explaining, “many of us were intimidated by her presence. But she wasn’t full of herself, like those others were. We met at a food market of sorts, out in the fields. I bought her a meal and offered to let her sleep in my home, since she had nothing. She accepted, and soon told me of all her crazy plans to summon demons. She showed me how she could manipulate shadows. But she needed someone to help her, and that’s where I came in.”
Ticia smiled at the girl while she finally told her what she had wanted to know for so long. “Long story short, I helped her, documenting what worked and what didn’t. One night, we were out in the open fields, surrounded by large trees, and Haerie was finally successful. I ran behind a tree, watching although I was terrified. She stood there with outstretched arms, her head high, her hair almost sweeping the ground, like a waterfall. The ground shook and glowed, before a crack finally snapped open, with a terrifyingly loud bang.”
Ticia paused to shudder at the memory, but continued after a moment. “And that’s when I saw it. It looked like a human, except for the fact that its skin was as dark as a night without moonlight, and its head held two large, pointed horns. It also had a long, thin tail with a pointed end that swished about him like a snake. He was a fat, short horrible thing. He drifted through the hole, staring at Haerie with red eyes. Haerie looked alarmed, but did not run. She made eye contact with me for a moment, her eyes concerned for me. In that moment I knew she thought she was going to die, but she still worried for me. She subtly snapped her fingers, and I knew that she had coated me in darkness to conceal me. I wanted to scream out for help and run to her, but I knew I was old and slow. I wouldn’t be able to do anything. I saw nothing, only darkness. I just heard it. I heard it ripping off her clothes. I heard the demon laugh and I heard your mother’s blood-curling screams.” Ticia said, pausing to wipe her eyes with her blue handkerchief that she always kept handy.
“I heard as it wiped out the entire settlement. I sat in the darkness, sobbing silently as I heard the elves scream around me, and in the trees above. Children, the elderly – no-one was safe. The darkness faded after about 10 minutes, and I was certain it would see me, but miraculously it disappeared back into the crack, which had now closed. I had no idea if the demon did this or your mother, for she was still alive. I was so grateful. I ran to her, hugging her to my chest and weeping. She breathed heavily, and lay naked, with her arms ripped off of her and laying by her sides. I dragged her to my house, over the limp bodies of the dead. I lay her in my bed and covered her wounds as quickly as I could. She apologized over and over, but I just told her to keep quiet and rest. She never left that bed again.”
Ticia could not stop the tears that flowed from her dark purple eyes. “I was barely able to keep her alive. She never stood. She could barely talk. She always had a fever, and hardly ate what I gave her. She only stayed alive long enough to give birth to you, and… well, it was too stressful for her. She died giving birth to you. With her last few breaths, she told me to look after you, and not hate you for being born of a demon. I promised her I would raise you, which is what I did. Since we ran from that village and have been living in this tree, you have learnt how to read and write, you have learnt how to cast shadows like your mother, even without her powerful magic trinket. You can cook and clean yourself, talk, and know of many things about the world. But you need to meet other people. You deserve to live with others.”
And so, finally satisfied with knowing the truth about her mother, Zvirene agreed to leave the forests with Ticia. Ticia tied bows over Zvirene’s horns, cut a fringe over her red eye and made Zvirene long dresses to cover her tail. She told Zvirene that she was special and that her mother believed she could save the world. She believed Zvirene could be the good version of Zvirak. The yang to the yin. The balance. This is what Haerie told Ticia. But Ticia knew people wouldn’t understand, and wouldn’t trust a half-demon, and so she told Zvirene to cover up at all costs.
They left to live in Barkemsted, a city recently constructed in the past few decades that Ticia had heard about out on her travels when she left Zvirene alone in the tree, to get food and such. Zvirene had no idea how to interact with others, but wanted to try for Ticia, whom she admired so much. She traveled to Barkemsted, and hoped that she could further her studies there, aided only with some of her mother’s journals and books of her own to write in.
You’re walking around the markets at around noon. There’s a lot of people around you, still gathering their items as they prepare to shut down their many stands. Suddenly you feel a gentle lifting of your coin purse as a child graces you and soon after they take off sprinting. You have been robbed. Zvirene stares at the child, confused. “That offspring has just taken the coins I need in order to purchase food. Why would it do that?” she’d simply say, half-running towards the child, more confused than angry.
“You, youthful one! Why have you taken that which is mine? Did you not know it was mine? I need you to return that to me immediately.” She would yell at the child.
The child would stop for a moment, laughing a horrible cackle. “Wow lady, why are you so short AND stupid? It’s called stealing. Your money is mine now!” he would yell, sticking out his tongue and running again.
Zvirene would glare, and stomp her foot as she did when angered. “This is not how a functioning economy is supposed to work! One must /earn/ money, not simply take the money for their own gain without having put in some sort of work to attain said money. Hey, are you listening to me? I am /trying/ to educate you on the proper way in which to participate in a society!” she would yell, frustrated in how, as usual, she knew everything and everyone else was just so idiotic.
“You there!” she would say after a while, walking up to a guard. “Your attire would suggest that you are fit to deal with well armed criminals and other such enemies. Are you the one through which law is enforced?” she would say, tapping her foot constantly while glaring up at the armored man.
“Why yes, I am a guard” he would say, confused at how the short woman worded things.
“Then enforce the law and stop that running child from ‘stealing’ my hard earned money!” she’d yell, like an angry pup. “Or shall I educate you on how a functioning society works as well?”
“Uh, I’ll get him” he’d say, shaking his head and running after the child, catching him and returning Zvirene’s cash to her.
You’re heading back to the city through the woods when you hear a whining coming from nearby. Upon further investigation you come across a grey-coloured wolf that appears to have its leg caught in a bear trap. Around it is three smaller lumps of fur, obviously puppies belonging to the trapped mother. Without help, they’ll all die, but wolf skins are quite valuable too, not to mention that the nearby farms suffer quite a bit from the wolf population. “Hmmm… wolves. I never liked you creatures” she would say with curled nose, thinking to all the times she had been out in the woods collecting fruits, and then a wolf would jump out of nowhere and she’d be forced to run away.
“It appears you have been caught in a trap that was not laid for you wolf, or at least I think it not to be. I’m certain there are more appetizing meats than that of a wolf. Unless you were captured just to be killed, likely due to a wolf overpopulation problem in this area.” She’d say, pacing a bit while she walked and thought.
The wolf would whine, interrupting Zvirene’s thoughts. She would stop pacing and stare at it. “It seems that you are a mother. I am not worried about the safety of your offspring, wolf, for I was raised without a mother and adapted quite adequately. If you wanted to live with them, you should not have walked into that trap. There is no room for mistakes when one is trying to survive. Only the best, intellectually and physically can survive and should reproduce. You should suffer for your mistake. Only the best of your kind should live, so as to better your species” she would rant, and then laugh.
“Look at me, talking to a wolf who obviously has no comprehension of language. I guess I am just very generous to want to constantly educate those who do not understand such basic concepts” she’d say, finding the situation rather amusing, and walking off.
_______________________________________________________________________
Magic application: Zvirene learnt dark magic through her mother’s teachings, written down in one of her mother’s many journals. Being as studious as she was, she read the instructions her mother had written and practiced many times over, among the trees when she was bored. She cannot do much, but doing dark magic is something that comes naturally to her, thanks to the demon blood in her veins.
She doesn’t want to become much better at dark magic, but finds it useful. All she can do without a trinket is manipulate shadows, to a small degree. And she can only work with already made shadows. She can change their forms or make them huge – huge enough to conceal a person in darkness, or a small room in darkness. She cannot summon anything though, and certainly cannot open a portal to the demon realm.
She cannot do the stronger spells her mother could – she tried, but couldn’t do anything more without a trinket, and her mother’s was long lost. However, she liked the idea of darkness, for safety reasons. Every time a bear or some other creature walked past, she could quickly hide herself in darkness, or wrap the creature in darkness and run away while it was blinded.
Zvirene is very capable of using magic, but doesn’t have much drive to improve. Her power comes from her knowledge, not from her use of magic. She cannot fight physically, and cannot use any weapon. Thus, running away is what she does best, and dark magic is best for this. She might learn another type of magic if she ever found a trinket, but only if she found that magic to be useful.
-Please give an example in your own words describing the limitations placed upon those who use magic: Those who use magic are limited by the strength of their trinkets, and the strength of their own magic usage. Magic users will get tired when performing multiple spells or powerful ones, especially when new to magic. Like physical muscles, magic users need to train with magic to use it for longer without becoming physically fatigued. Additionally to this, magic users rely on trinkets to channel their magic through, and if the trinket is a weak trinket, than they are limited to weak spells, or rather, weak trinket magic effects. They might be very well practiced and have a lot of magic ‘stamina,’ but will never perform impressively large spells without a better trinket.
-Please give a description of the magic system in your own words: The magic system works with a few different types of magic – holy, elemental, dark, alteration, illusion and telekinetic. One does not use spells necessarily, but rather if one is capable of using magic (something one is born with), then one can just channel the effects of their magic through a trinket, and the magic that appears is based on the specific type of trinket (water trinket means water magic) and the power of a trinket (a weak trinket might control a few drops, while a powerful trinket could control a lake for instance). A fire mage could become a water mage, but learning different types of magic takes practice. Each new type of magic needs to be learnt from scratch.
-You are given a very basic trinket of <element>, you haven't had much practice with magic yet, but you will try your best. Describe some things you could/would do with this trinket: Zvirene is given a small trinket of water. She is not aggressive, and thus would prefer something more calm and serene like water. She would hold this trinket and take a deep breath in. She would try her best to focus on the puddle nearby her feet. She is talented with magic use, being both high elf and demon, and finds it easy to channel the flow of magic through her body. She would continue to breathe deep, slow breaths. She finds no need to rush and be filled with adrenaline. She would approach this how she approached learning dark magic, except focusing on an actual object rather than her body.
She would be patient, and not rush anything. She would stand with her eyes closed, simply breathing and feeling calm, holding the trinket. Then, when her breathing had slowed and her ears filled with silence, she would feel calm and ready to focus entirely on the magic. She would take a sharp breath in, feeling the magic flow through her body quickly, ready and eager to exit her body. She would then snap open her eyes and while clutching the trinket tightly, would stare into the puddle. Lastly, she would exhale, and with exhalation, the magic would also exhale from her body – this was how she approached using dark magic at least.
Nothing might happen the first few times, as Zvirene doesn’t use magic constantly, and thus isn’t quick to perform magic. However, after enough breathing and focusing, the trinket might shimmer a bit, and with an exhaled breath and intense stare, the puddle might ripple, moving about as if a leaf had landed gently on its surface.
It would take a lot more practice to do more than that.
Your backstory was a very pleasant read, I'm looking forward to seeing you play Zvirene. Also just so you know there is a section on the enjin forums for players who have already been accepted onto the server to post their secondary character applications on.
Hello there Murri! First of all we want to thank you for your interest in the server, and apologize that we didn't notice you had updated your application already. We're looking forward to seeing you on, so we'll need to work on a couple things with you so that you can join.
To start, from taking a look at your powergaming definition and your roleplaying history we can see that you've played a lot of tabletop games. While the definition you've given might be appropriate in that situation, it does not necessarily translate the same to a minecraft server scenario. There is at least one important thing that we'll need you to mention explicitly that the definition you gave does not include. If you're having trouble, feel free to look through some previously accepted apps to see how yours is different.
The next thing we're going to need you to work on is your answer to the second roleplay scenario. (The one with the wolves.) You did a nice job of answering the first question 'in-character' but for the next one your reply became lackluster. Rather than telling us 'Ulf will free the mother and to heal her wounds' describe it. Give us a little information about his mannerisms and body language. Is he nervous with trembling hands, or have his years of experience with animal husbandry hardened him? How does he deal with a potentially vicious wild animal that is likely to attack him once freed? Go ahead and be creative, but make sure that you're doing it in-character rather than just telling us what he would do from an out of character perspective.
Last, please make a note somewhere in your application or in another post letting us know you've updated it when you're done. Thanks again and well wishes!
-Do you have any prior roleplay-related experience, if so could you give an example?: Buncha RP servers. LoTC, Crafthammer, RoK.
-Define Power-gaming in your own words: Forcing actions on others or playing an extremely unrealistic character.
-Define Meta-gaming in your own words: Using OOC information to influence RP.
----IC Info----
-Character name: Hel for short.
-Character race: Goblin.
-Character age: 31
-Character Occupation: Tinkerer. Engineer.
-Character description:
Hel stands at roughly 4'10, with cold and logical blue eyes that don't express any detailed emotions besides an almost constant disdain for anyone he looks upon. His hair is tied back in a knot at most times when he is at work, it being a darker shade of red though it's not entirely clear if that is natural from first glance. His skin is a dark mottled green colour, like most Goblins.. His body comes with with a lean frame and shoulders befitting that of a man whose not seen a great deal of physical labour in his day and age.
-Character personality and traits:
If there's one word to adequately describe Hel, it's clever. There's a reason he's able to manage to ingratiate himself to the white folk he find as he flies dangerously close to the sun, some day likely being burned for his association with Humans. Hel is a ruthless competitor in any situation where he sees an opportunity for advancing himself. He carries himself with a great amount of pride in both speech and movement, coming off as pushy at times though it's normally misinterpreted. When it comes to personal ties such as friendships people believe they hold with him, he doesn't hold them on a pedestal or at any exceptional value, simply believing that its the individuals duty to care other than written agreements.
-Character biography:
A wide world filled with conquest - many of his tribe flocked to the idea of such a thing, but few returned.. Conquest of Humanity, and in exchange they would have fields until the sky meets the earth. Helvaer had grown up as a nomad, his "family" consisting of a small group of goblin-ken and the occasional Orc. As with some broods, they did not necessarily know their 'mothers' and 'fathers', relying solely off the aid of their brood - newbloods who are adopted are taught to hunt and fight so they may benefit the tribe. The tribe itself came upon a group of fellow Orcs who served under Kharag, and using their rudimentary negotiation skills, managed to learn of a supposed hunting grounds like no other.
The sought for it, long and hard - they'd only learned the basics- its' name, where to look.. They said it was to be an easy conquest for even a small group, and the fact their brethren had been at war with them only served as an incentive to engage in violence. The tribe were intrigued by it, and after a great deal of time they managed to find a new group of Orcs - ones who said they were going there themselves.
Their searching was finally over, they thought happily. The ones' controlling the passage into the bountiful land were not so easy a conquest; the Humans had iron and steel, but his people were not composed of many warriors. On their first skirmish and subsequent defeat, they were wracked with anger, and understandably crushing defeat at their failure.
With a few quick nods and grunts, the group moved forward with their deliberations - they could not permit themselves to be defeated by the pale-skinned men who dared to fight back. They brought their strongest poisons, their goblins forming engines of war - and in the night, they attempted to vanquish the village. The result was a bloodbath; they came out victorious, but the remnants were entirely shattered and indecisive. Indecisive for far too long, for the slaughter was not complete - survivors had escaped, and the local lords' garrison bore down on them.
He sprinted forwards, trying to dash through- he saw his friends and brothers struggle with a few of the guards. He thought- no, believed in his own mind, that they would be there with him. 'They surely could not lose yet, could they..?' He thought. His feet hit the gravel and carried him fast, the speed of Goblins' serving as a great boon for once in his life time - and eventually, the distance was cleared. Exhausted, lightly injured and mentally snapped he went sprawling forward in the nearest cave he could find, and he embraced sleep. His eyes went dark, and he fell limp, the rest of him following his feet. And so he slept.
-Please give us a short RP response to these two scenarios. (At least one paragraph for each):
You’re walking around the markets at around noon. There’s a lot of people around you, still gathering their items as they prepare to shut down their many stands. Suddenly you feel a gentle lifting of your coin purse as a child graces you and soon after they take off sprinting. You have been robbed:
Hel's beady eyes flit towards the place where his once-full pouch of herbs sat on his belt, and he let out an exhausted sigh. His head lifts up as he goes to look about the crowded streets for the man who robbed him of his posession, grunting with irritation as more and more tall people pass by his view. The miniscule creature would try to weave his way through the crowds, but eventually surrender as he realizes there's no way he'll be able to make anyone return his goods.
You’re heading back to the city through the woods when you hear a whining coming from nearby. Upon further investigation you come across a grey-coloured wolf that appears to have its leg caught in a bear trap. Around it is three smaller lumps of fur, obviously puppies belonging to the trapped mother. Without help, they’ll all die, but wolf skins are quite valuable too, not to mention that the nearby farms suffer quite a bit from the wolf population.
Hel doesn't care about the plight of the wolves, and his nose upturns as the beast whimpers and tries to free itself from the trap. However, a spark of realization flashes through him and he goes to draw his dagger and attempt to jab the Wolf in the throat/side of its face with due apprehension to try and bleed it out. Shortly after he'd skin the beast and disarm the track for later use.
You did an excellent job of including the server's lore into your application. Always pleasant to see people taking that into consideration.
We are looking forward to seeing you on server!
Unfortunately it is very apparent that you did not write this application for our server. Besides the fact that you did not fill out the top section of the application at all, there are an abundant amount of problems with what you did write. Included in the many issues with what you have presented here, the first and foremost is that we simply do not have many of the things you mentioned included in our lore.
To begin, you left the race name 'Akari' under the race slot, which is not one that we have in Saphriel. Instead of leaving that and writing 'Can I change this to human?' you should consider just changing it to human. We have no idea what an Akari is, but humans are an acceptable race on this server. Next, his appearance includes many things that also do not exist within our lore. While there are certainly werewolves on our server there are no half-werewolves. Furthermore, no new player is allowed to start off as a werewolf. Such a transformation must be earned in-game through roleplay. Last, the character history is too short and also includes many things that do not fit within the lore of our server. There are no 'demon districts' west, east, or lower. There is no "King of the Demon World Acropolis" and if there was a new player character would not be allowed to start off as his son.
Please take the time to visit our forums and browse through the many posts we have dedicated to the lore of our world before you attempt to reapply. Also make sure that your character history is at least three paragraphs in length or it will be denied on that basis alone. If you have questions about anything feel free to post them here and a staff member will to respond as quickly as possible. The following is a link to our lore section on the forums for the sake of ease.
-Do you have any prior roleplay-related experience, if so could you give an example? Yes. Predominantly the Kingdom of Aeonis MC server along with a few others such as: Fallout: Sins of Our Fathers, Fallout: Ashes of Our Fathers, and Akavir, and a small bit of D&D.
-Define Power-gaming in your own words: Power-gaming is having an obvious advantage over other players or events, mostly in combat. For example, a player causing another player’s character to die or become wounded instantly not allowing for a reaction from the other player.
-Define Meta-gaming in your own words: Meta-gaming is using knowledge obtained out of character, and using it in character to gain an advantage. An example would be: having a friend on Skype tell you where something is happening, and traveling there on purpose.
----IC Info---- -Character name: Gareth Rose
-Character race: Human
-Character age: 22
-Character Occupation (optional, note you still must talk to the lord about loaning or purchasing any stall/shop for your character if he/she would have one. Also be sure to give previous applications a glance before deciding your job, we don't need 5 bartenders!): Aspiring sell ”sword” / Barkamsted military
-Character description (At least one to two paragraphs describing your character’s visual appearance.): Gareth is a young human man, with a build a fair bit above average, standing at 6'4". Given his height and muscular definition, he does not possess a lean but rather a more athletic frame. He has straight, dark brown hair that falls flat above his gunmetal blue eyes. Gareth is frequently training his body so he may face the wilds outside of Barkamsted. He wears simple clothes, a light brown tunic and leather pants, due to his lack of work and motivation for possessions that will not aid his goal.
-Character personality and traits (At least one to two paragraphs describing their personality traits and/or quirks.): Gareth is a confident young man, with big aspirations. He wishes to bring the humans back to their former glory, which can lead members of differing races to see him as partially bigoted. Despite being large and possessing a commanding voice, Gareth tends to keep to himself as he is too entwined in his own personal aspirations to divide his time to others. Due to his time in the forests Gareth has acquired a knack for reacting to surprises. Due to his self-isolation on personal matters he remains without any close friends and a lack of group cooperation and coordination.
-Character biography(At least three paragraphs describing your character's history and experiences):
Gareth was born in and grew up in the village of Barkamsted, not too far from the center of town. He’s fairly educated and came from a good family, although he’s had a taste for getting himself in over his head as a child. His Uncle Varis, a soldier who helped others flee from the invading onslaught of the pact, told him stories of the fallback and the once mighty empire that the humans had held. These stories made the Gareth curious about seeing such a world for himself. Gareth saw himself seeking fame and fortune outside the safety of the town’s walls. He hoped to recreate the glory that his uncle described in his tales.
Once he was ten years old, Gareth's uncle went missing after travelling out into the wilds. His mother became depressed and tried the best she could to dissuade Gareth from following in his uncle’s tracks. Instead of heading his mother’s wishes Gareth began working his body, watching the training routines of the guards, and pushing himself past their standards. He eventually found a way to make money as he grew older, completing requests. As time passed Gareth realized that he loved the thrill of travelling outside of the town, the rush of adrenaline that hit him whenever danger crept up on him. The main issue with this was his lack of protection outside of his own body. Gareth did not possess the wealth to come by much in the way of armor and for a weapon all he had was a short metal bar.
Now into adulthood, Gareth is wholeheartedly dedicated to gathering enough coin to acquire a blade that he can depend on as he travels outside the town. One that he could clash swords with the orcs his uncle’s stories had detailed. However, he seemed to have a problem of misappropriating his coin. He spent almost as much as he brought in completing various tasks as he did preparing for them. Gareth has sworn his life to travelling outside of Barkamsted and defeating the Pact, but there may now be more pressing matters.
-Please give us a short RP response to these two scenarios. (At least one paragraph for each):
You’re walking around the markets at around noon. There’s a lot of people around you, still gathering their items as they prepare to shut down their many stands. Suddenly you feel a gentle lifting of your coin purse as a child graces you and soon after they take off sprinting. You have been robbed.
After walking through the markets for a few minutes Gareth reaches his destination. He stands in awe gawking at the smith’s stall as he admires the fine blades the man has crafted. Realizing that his purse was being lifted Gareth let out a commanding "Hey!" as he scanned his immediate surrounding to spot the child dashing away. Gareth runs in the direction of the child, yelling for him to stop. As the child weaves through the crowds Gareth’s large body is contrastingly bashing into others as he apologizes while attempting to keep sight on the child. He begins to slow down to a halt, realizing that his pursuit is pointless and with the loss of his purse Gareth begins his walk back to the smith’s stall. Defeated, he gives the blades a final glance before heading home.
You’re heading back to the city through the woods when you hear a whining coming from nearby. Upon further investigation you come across a grey-coloured wolf that appears to have its leg caught in a bear trap. Around it is three smaller lumps of fur, obviously puppies belonging to the trapped mother. Without help, they’ll all die, but wolf skins are quite valuable too, not to mention that the nearby farms suffer quite a bit from the wolf population.
His ears perking up at the sound of whining in the distance. Gareth carefully makes his way through the brush of the forest to spot a wolf snared in the trap he had set earlier that week. This was the sort of work Gareth did when he needed money. A local farmer had said that his livestock was being threatened by the abundance of nearby wolves. He carefully approaches the wolf family. Noting that the mother seemed to be fully immobilized he began to move closer, a heavy rock in hand. Slowly creeping his way to wolf, he raised the rock up above his head with both hands wrapped around it to give the impending impact added force. Ignoring the snarls from the wolf, Gareth is now within striking distance when he notices the three smaller lumps of fur. He pauses for a moment, mentally apologizes for his actions, and swings his arms down over the mother’s head. The farmer wanted proof of the job’s completion so he released the trap’s mechanism and slung the fallen mother over his shoulder. He has no sympathy to give to the pups and decides that if they had the will to survive they could do so. Gareth began his trek to the farmstead that tasked him with the disposal. Hopefully the pay will be enough to finally purchase a blade he could call his own.
Your application was very well written, with an enjoyable style and a well balanced-character. He will fit into Saphriel nicely. Thank you very much for your interest in the server, we look forward to seeing you on soon!
Pending
I honestly didn't have many problems with this application, but the biography was a bit short.
Why is Zaxle such a sleazy guy? What was his child life like? Why did he decide "hey! I'm going to be an adventurer!", at such a young age?
Answering all of these questions will definitely help the length of your biography, I feel.
With your RP responses, you do seem to know "what" you want Zaxle to be, I just want to know "why".
Finally, I am fairly uncomfortable with you sharing an account with another person to play on the server. If you are RamshackleRatty, we do have a place for you to apply for a second character on the Enjin website. If not, I would much prefer if you acquired your own Minecraft account.
Thanks other staff for taking this off my plate, I'd just like to state one thing I personally am not too bothered by the sharing of an account, you just have to realise you'll be treated as one person and while sharing you'll have no chance for becoming staff.
@RamshackleRatty.
Updated/Edited the original post.
----OOC Info----
-Minecraft IGN:
ThieflyPaws
-Skype name:
jknightingale
-Do you have any prior roleplay-related experience, if so could you give an example?
A member of The Land of Karchan, a roleplaying MUD, for over a decade; a guild leader in the Kingdom of Aeonis Minecraft server.
-Define Power-gaming in your own words:
Power-gaming and/or god-modding involves a player ignoring roleplay, such as damage received to their character, or forcing an unblockable attack (i.e. auto-hitting), to give a couple examples. It is essentially making a character overpowered and disrupting roleplay balance.
-Define Meta-gaming in your own words:
Meta-gaming, in most cases, is to utilize information during roleplay that your character should not be privy to, usually things the player can or has seen outside of the direct interactions of the game. This can include information taken from ooc conversations, forum posts, or simple things like miraculously seeing through a person's disguise by reading the name displayed above their character's head (to offer an example from personal experience).
----IC Info----
-Character name:
Madeline Goldshire
-Character race:
Dwelf
-Character age:
35
-Character Occupation:
Tinkerer/Craftsman; Jack of all Trades
-Character description:
Small even by dwarven and dwelven standards at scarcely three feet tall, Madeline is nonetheless stronger than her size would imply, inheriting her father's denser frame in comparison to most of her kin. She is possessing of a fairly wiry build--strong by dwelf standards certainly but lacking the sheer brute force of a full blooded dwarf--and fair-skinned with a smattering of freckles lining her cheeks below vivid green eyes, a wild curtain of red hair framing her face when it isn't tied back under a patterned kerchief. Her hands and forearms show the signs of a person used to working with their hands, rugged and laced with small scars despite the heavy gloves she would typically wear. Another scar gouges a small line across her left eyebrow, a reminder not to look too closely at exploding debris.
-Character personality and traits:
To call Madeline "eccentric" would, while not entirely inaccurate, do the young woman a disservice. She is merely a very curious individual, more often than not to a rather explosive fault. She is a steadfast woman, surviving an inevitable childhood of attempted bullying and prejudice for her mixed blood--even in Barkamsted--and growing stronger for it. She takes no guff from people and is not above throwing down despite being no larger than a human child, giving her the nickname of "Mad Maddy" for more than just her eccentricities.
Maddy sometimes displays a ferocious thirst for knowledge, which tends to sidetrack her from her regular work and has lead to more than one dangerous and/or inconceivably useless invention. In particular Madeline has a fascination with the curious element redstone, and though she is amazingly dreadful with the stuff, nonetheless loves tinkering with concepts around it and things that inevitably go boom. It is often difficult to tell whether she is a latent genius, or just exceptionally dangerous when tinkering with things outside of normal construction. That said, she is otherwise quite dependable as a crafter in the footsteps of her father, and can be seen quite happily hammering away both in the deepest mines, or the tallest of towers.
-Character biography:
Madeline was born in Barkamsted, the only child of the dwarf Gaius Goldshire and Vanya of the elves. Gaius, not much for battle but possessing a knack for building, served on the defensive line during the Alliance's defense of Barkamsted, helping shore the walls of the city against the Pact's invasion. Down in the trenches as it were, Gaius formed a camaraderie with Vanya, where the elfin woman worked as a healer for refugees and those wounded during the siege. Despite tensions between their races before and after the war, Gaius and Vanya remained close for several years, continuing their work in helping rebuild Barkamsted, with Vanya eventually bearing a daughter. The girl was given the name Madeline, a decidedly human name, in the hopes it would help her fit in with the mixed blood of the city.
From a young age, Madeline was clearly going to be Daddy's girl, latching onto Gaius' talent for crafting and reaching for his hammer before she was even old enough to stand. As a toddler she was terror in her father's workshop, constantly trying to dismantle everything to see how it worked. Her parents were both keen on their daughter's education--though they often disagreed on what that education should be--and Madeline absorbed everything they taught her with reckless abandon. Reckless in fact became something of a defining descriptor for the girl as she reached her teen years, her tinkerer's spirit getting her into trouble more often than not, not the least of which a particular incident with one of the city's cannonades that left her with a not insignificant scar and a well-learned lesson in combustion--not to mention several weeks of house arrest.
Now, thirty-five years old, if not thirty-five years wise, Madeline works as something of a freelance craftsman, taking over for her father--somewhat loosely--as he has for the time being retired from Barkamsted to help with reclamation of the ruins of Thonduhm, his home city, taking Vanya with him. Mining, building, and tinkering on her own projects in her free time, Madeline goes where the work takes her.
-Please give us a short RP response to these two scenarios:
You’re walking around the markets at around noon. There’s a lot of people around you, still gathering their items as they prepare to shut down their many stands. Suddenly you feel a gentle lifting of your coin purse as a child graces you and soon after they take off sprinting. You have been robbed.
-As the daughter of a dwarf, Madeline always tends to keep one hand close to her coin purse while in a crowd, and her stature puts her at virtually eye level with any child daring enough to try and steal from a stranger. Nonetheless Maddy is momentarily distracted by a particular trinket on display, only spinning as the tell tale lightening on her belt raises the alarm. Bewildered for but a moment, the woman bolts off after the delinquent, and despite her small stature proves to be lightning quick over short distances, catching the thief in a flying tackle and sending them both into the dirt, much to the alarm of those passing by around them. Retrieving her money, Madeline flashes a disarming smile to the small crowd around her, who return to their own business as the dwelf gives the thief a light smack atop his head. Rising to her feet, she gives the child a quick once over; perhaps seeing something of a kindred spirit in the boy, she reaches into her purse and plonks a single coin into the now puzzled thief's hands, before dusting herself off and scampering back to get a better look at that trinket from before.
You’re heading back to the city through the woods when you hear a whining coming from nearby. Upon further investigation you come across a grey-coloured wolf that appears to have its leg caught in a bear trap. Around it is three smaller lumps of fur, obviously puppies belonging to the trapped mother. Without help, they’ll all die, but wolf skins are quite valuable too, not to mention that the nearby farms suffer quite a bit from the wolf population.
-Madeline purses her lips, staring at the trapped wolf and its offspring as she weighs her options. Her eyes dart toward eastward, to where she knows one of the nearer farms lies not far from here. It's possible the owner of the farm is even the one who set the trap. The woman's mind wanders this way for a bit, before coming back into focus on the wolf. True enough that the mother's skin would likely be a valuable prize, but Madeline has neither the tools nor the stomach for the job, her eyes constantly coming back to land their gaze on the wolf's pups. Her head rolls from shoulder to shoulder, a groan uttering through her teeth before she comes to a decision. "Shh, shh," she whispers at the wolf, who stares growling now between pained whines. Madeline doesn't quite possess the strength to force the trap back open, but she does have a hammer, wedge, and a penchant for dismantling things. With a quick hand she dodges around the wolf to land a solid crack to the traps mechanisms; the spring flies free as the trap rather implodes on itself before falling apart, Madeline quickly jumping back as the freed wolf jumps between her and its pups. Before she can consider the ramifications of letting the wolf go, Madeline quickly departs the scene to allow nature to take its own course in the family's survival from there on.
Sig'd
Accepted
The changes you made to your character's background have been deemed sufficient.
We are looking forward to seeing you on server!
Welcome to Saphriel!
Server IP: 192.99.20.170:30352
Texture Pack: http://resourcepack.net/conquest-resource-pack/
Website: http://therealmofsaphriel.enjin.com/home
Accepted
Your application was very well written and an absolute pleasure to read. Thank you very much for your interest in the server.
There is only one minor thing we'd like to point out to you, and that is that redstone is actually not something that is used to tinker in our lore. It is used as an item for blood, and an ingredient for certain recipes. This will absolutely not stop you from using it mechanically, but the mention of it should never make it into roleplay.
Welcome to Saphriel!
Server IP: 192.99.20.170:30352
Texture Pack: http://resourcepack.net/conquest-resource-pack/
Website: http://therealmofsaphriel.enjin.com/home
We both agree that those are acceptable terms, Oxide. Thank you.
I've added a bit to his biography with special care to the points made by Paragon. (Thank you for the constructive criticism! I hope that with these changes, I have provided enough to make his app satisfactory! ;o; )
As a side note, I also changed the skype listed, as I had moved skype accounts and forgotten!
Thank you guys for all the hard work you do, and for taking the time to read through all this stuff o 3o
---OOC Info----
-Minecraft IGN: RamshackleRatty (shared w/ the Ratty you all know I and love!)
-Skype name (Optional, for server OOC chat): m17nu4
-Do you have any prior roleplay-related experience, if so could you give an example?
I have been roleplaying and larping since I was a kid, and constantly improving. Most recently I have been participating in D&D, pathfinder, and several semi-lit homestuck-related roleplays.
-Define Power-gaming in your own words:
Power-gaming is a sub-section of “god-modding,” which includes auto-hitting, not allowing other players to respond, taking control of others' characters, particularly without permission, etc.
-Define Meta-gaming in your own words:
Meta-gaming is using knowledge that you, as an individual, have for something you would do in character. As a short example: I personally know that Zaos sells raw fish for 1.60, however my proposed character has not moved into town, and therefore would not know that. To have my character supposedly knowing that prior to actually in-character learning that would be meta-gaming.
----IC Info----
-Character name: Zaxle Giexam
-Character race: Goblin
-Character age: 19. (by most lore this is considered a good bit in adulthood, but pretty distant from middle age. Since goblin age is not specifically listed in Saphriel's lore, please let me know if this is accurate to you guys!)
-Character Occupation: Miner, mercenary, thief, fool
-Character description:
Zaxle stands a whole 3'6”, though not standing straight, as he is never seen to do so, and he weighs a mere 86lbs. As any goblin does, he has sleek, greenish-yellow skin, which would have a greasy feel, should anyone touch him. He has buggy yellow-orange eyes, which often dart about. He is incredibly thin, and short, even for a goblin. He has knobbly, bulbous joints, especially his knees. He has tears in both of his long, pointed ears, and wears a leather cap and goggles upon his head, which push said ears down and cause them to stick out quite far. Upon seeing Zaxle, one may note that he has exceptionally large ears, hands, and feet, compared to his otherwise, frail proportions, which further lend to his awkward appearance. He wears, torn, raggedy clothing in shades of brown. He wears a belt, fastened to which is a coin pouch that he guards incredibly closely, as well as his trusty dagger. Zaxle is often dirty and unkempt. The only clean thing about him is his brass ring, which he is to be seen polishing quite frequently.
-Character personality and traits:
Zaxle is not the kind of character one would trust around a child. Or really trust at all in general. He is notoriously dishonest, and will lie about anything to save his skin, or make a quick buck. He is incredibly clever in this fashion only. Aside from his cleverness of tricks and lies, he is otherwise dull. Zaxle is fairly illiterate, and non-verbose, though he doesn't care terribly much. Zaxle is only out for himself. He enjoys the work he does, and desires strongly to be rich. (Although, to be frank, I think he just likes the pretty shinies.) He's incredibly stingy and won't spend a copper more than he absolutely has to. If Zaxle takes a liking to you, you will know, and he will be even more vulgar, crude, and loud than normal.
-Character biography:
Zaxle Giexam hails from a small village of goblins, near an old abandoned Dwarven mine. He was likely inbred, and was one of 14 siblings, most of whom were sisters. As a wee goblin, Zaxle was often teased for his looks, and beat down for being such a small and easy target. His family's cottage was small and humble, and due to the large size of their family, the Giexam home was a poor one. The cottage was falling apart, was overcrowded, and Zaxle avoided it as well as he could, preferring the company of a local gang over his family. It was at this time in his life, which he discovered the thrill of theft, and the joy of money.
As Zaxle grew, so did his family. By the age of 15 (goblin adulthood), his childhood home was bursting at the seams with children and adults alike. Zaxle needed to get away, and to breathe. Since he fancied himself an adventurer he left his small village, to see what else was out there, but mostly to get away from the life and family he had grown to resent. There had to be anything else than crowded goblin cottages, and empty dwarven mines. From that point forward he would travel as a hired sword, pickpocket, and general scam artist. However, occasionally Zaxle would find honest work to keep busy, such as mining and entertaining. Zaxle found that the people he would encounter found his awkward appearance and mannerisms comical. Rather than being offended, Zaxle took this to his advantage and performed on the streets of Saphriel as a fool.
It was during this time that he was approached by an official, (who likely believed him to be an honest traveler and performer). Zaxle was offered compensation to move to Barkamsted, in order to uphold the peace treaty which was so labouringly fostered between his people and Zaxle's. Zaxle eagerly agreed, for the meager compensation alone, but the adventure of moving on to another town, with new pockets full of gold excited him equally.
-Please give us a short RP response to these two scenarios.:
You’re walking around the markets at around noon. There’s a lot of people around you, still gathering their items as they prepare to shut down their many stands. Suddenly you feel a gentle lifting of your coin purse as a child graces you and soon after they take off sprinting. You have been robbed.
Zaxle felt the small creature grasp his precious coin purse just a moment too late. The goblin gritted his yellowed teeth and swallowed obscenities only momentarily. “GET BACK HERE! YOU FILTHY! MONGREL! WHELP!” he yowled, darting after the child. Zaxle followed closely on the child's heels, gaining on them. He leaped forth to tackle the child to the ground. He hissed and spit as he grabbed for his purse back. As his fingers made contact, he pulled hard and sent several coins flying. The child made for the spilled coins and ran before Zaxle could pick himself up from the ground. The entire crowd was watching and Zaxle knew the guard would likely be called on him anytime. He wrote it off as a loss, but swore to remember the child's face to exact revenge some day....
- - -
You’re heading back to the city through the woods when you hear a whining coming from nearby. Upon further investigation you come across a grey-coloured wolf that appears to have its leg caught in a bear trap. Around it is three smaller lumps of fur, obviously puppies belonging to the trapped mother. Without help, they’ll all die, but wolf skins are quite valuable too, not to mention that the nearby farms suffer quite a bit from the wolf population.
Zaxle keeps his distance from the wolf mother as he observes the trap. He sees that the creature before him is much larger than he is. Even when it is caught in a trap, he fears the bodily harm it could cause. With a sneer and chuckle, an idea dawns upon the goblin. He will wait....
Zaxle sits a ways away watching the wolf family, and waiting for the mother to bleed out, and pups to starve. It takes longer than he'd like. He picks his teeth with his dagger while he waits. “Hurry,” he spits at them from the distance, clearly irritated. Once they have died he realizes he can only carry the pups, due to his size and limited strength. He curses everything for losing the coin of a wolf pelt, so he tries the drag the wolf and the trap both into town....
Zaxle makes it maybe a quarter of the way before he is exhausted and falls asleep on the corpse of the animal, with its' deceased young in a sack across his shoulder. “No one can steal now,” he cackles softly as he drifts to exhausted sleep.
Accepted
The changes you made to your character's background have been deemed sufficient. Your character seems like he will be very interesting and fun to interact with, and his biography has been much improved.
We are looking forward to seeing you on server!
Welcome to Saphriel!
Server IP: 192.99.20.170:30352
Texture Pack: http://resourcepack.net/conquest-resource-pack/
Website: http://therealmofsaphriel.enjin.com/home
DENIED
There were multiple problems I encountered throughout this application, I will start from the start to the end of your app:
-PowerGaming: Your definition of Powergaming is rather lackluster.
-Character description: Your description consists of 2 sentences, where it'd be preferred to have 1-2 paragraphs, getting a better known look and visualization of the character
-Personality: I understand that Ulf is a kind soul, but 4 small single lined sentences, don't really make for an exciting character.
-Biography: The bio while it isn't all that bad, it is still rather short.
Make these changes, and add detail to the following selected categories, and we will happily revise your application!
--------------------OOC--------------------
-Minecraft IGN: K_is_a_Dino
-Skype name: kayleighisnotadinosaur (but already in the skype group)
-Do you have any prior roleplay-related experience, if so could you give an example? Yes. Only on Minecraft, mostly medieval roleplays. Exteria and Realm of Arion. I've played a future-themed one as well called The Last Ark. In Realm of Arion I practiced being a magic user and helped found an outpost, and in Exteria I became a high judge for the Kingdom. I’m also currently playing another character on this server.
-Define Power-gaming in your own words: When you make your character over-powered in order to automatically be stronger than other characters and win every battle. It is also when you make your character learn new skills at an unrealistically fast rate. Anything that gives you an unfair advantage over others.
-Define Meta-gaming in your own words: When your character knows something from reading chat or you as the player sees a character's name and your character thus knows it. This of course is unfair, as this allows less opportunity to discover information through your character.
--------------------------IC------------------------
-Character name: Zvirene Elindiir
-Character race: Half high elf, half demon
-Character age: 19
-Character Occupation: She does not have a job, and has never had one. But she loves reading and writing. She’ll probably find a job somewhere while RPing.
-Character description: Zvirene Elindiir is a mere 19 years old, and stands short and slender, her height reaching just less than 1.5 meters, because of her father being a short demon. She wears only dresses, her favorite being a white long-sleeved dress that reaches down to her ankles, with a brown corset that highlights her feminine figure. She has wavy blue hair that she drapes over her one shoulder, and that hangs in her face, concealing her red eye. Her revealed eye is a bright, shimmering blue, exactly like her mother’s. She walks around barefoot, as it appeals to the wild, free side in her. She dislikes shoes – too confining. She also had a thin tail underneath her dress with a pointed end, and two dark horns protruding from her skull that she keeps covered behind two bows tied with white, silk ribbon. Her skin is an ashy grey – a lighter shade of what her father’s skin was.
-Character personality and traits: Zvriene has never dealt with people other than Ticia, and so has terrible people skills. She may come across as bossy, stubborn, rude or selfish, but not really intending to be. She does however, intend to prove she is highly intelligent to others, as this is what she takes pride in and that may come across as a little patronizing. She doesn’t tend to shy away from a situation, instead embracing it, but most likely in an absurd way.
However, living both out in the woods and being part demon, she is quite driven by her instincts. She can get angry and upset quickly when not given what she wants, and will run if confronted. However, if driven to total anger or attacked with no means of escaping, her true demon colors might show, and she may try claw or rip her way out. This has never happened to her, however, so she does not think she is capable of fighting. If in a pickle, she prefers to run, using her dark magic to her advantage.
Otherwise she is clever, quirky, curious and determined. She is almost always writing or scribbling away at her notes, or reading her journals, and is drawn to any academic piece of writing like a fly to honey.
-Character biography: Zvriene is the daughter of a very powerful black demon, of whom no name or other sort of identity is known. Her mother is a high elf named Haerie Elindiir, and she was beautiful, with light blue hair and eyes, much like her daughter’s. She had peachy, pale skin, was tall and slender, and had long pointed ears. She was a beautiful elf, but a crazy one. Haerie lived in a very small village in the Elven woods, amongst the tree-tops with the other high elves. This small settlement was known as Greenwood, for many trunks of trees in the area were made of light green wood. There were some dark elves that lived at the bases of the trees, in homes carved into some of the larger trees. The high elves lived in peaceful co-existence with the dark elves, but the high elves definitely lived a more civilized, advanced lifestyle. According to them at least.
Haerie was obsessed with dark magic and meeting a demon, and used to tell other elves of her plans to summon such a monstrosity. Because of this, many elves avoided her, which left her more time to her studying. She kept hundreds of journals, noting all the experiments she had tried and all the ways in which one could use black magic. The elven council of Greenwood soon learnt of her plans to summon a demon, and decided to banish her to the bottoms of the trees, amongst the dark elves. She was not deterred from her goal, and began plans to rip a hole in the barrier that divided the demon realm from the living realm, taking after her role model, Zvirak. She believed this would save the world from the Pact that was fast approaching.
“I helped her, because she was kind to me. She never saw me as a mere dark elf, she saw me as an equal, that also needed saving from the Pact.” The kind, elderly dark elf Ticia explained to Zvirene who sat across from Ticia. Zvirene looked to Ticia with curious eyes – one a bloody red in color and the other a light blue. “When she first arrived at the bottoms of the trees,” Ticia carried on explaining, “many of us were intimidated by her presence. But she wasn’t full of herself, like those others were. We met at a food market of sorts, out in the fields. I bought her a meal and offered to let her sleep in my home, since she had nothing. She accepted, and soon told me of all her crazy plans to summon demons. She showed me how she could manipulate shadows. But she needed someone to help her, and that’s where I came in.”
Ticia smiled at the girl while she finally told her what she had wanted to know for so long. “Long story short, I helped her, documenting what worked and what didn’t. One night, we were out in the open fields, surrounded by large trees, and Haerie was finally successful. I ran behind a tree, watching although I was terrified. She stood there with outstretched arms, her head high, her hair almost sweeping the ground, like a waterfall. The ground shook and glowed, before a crack finally snapped open, with a terrifyingly loud bang.”
Ticia paused to shudder at the memory, but continued after a moment. “And that’s when I saw it. It looked like a human, except for the fact that its skin was as dark as a night without moonlight, and its head held two large, pointed horns. It also had a long, thin tail with a pointed end that swished about him like a snake. He was a fat, short horrible thing. He drifted through the hole, staring at Haerie with red eyes. Haerie looked alarmed, but did not run. She made eye contact with me for a moment, her eyes concerned for me. In that moment I knew she thought she was going to die, but she still worried for me. She subtly snapped her fingers, and I knew that she had coated me in darkness to conceal me. I wanted to scream out for help and run to her, but I knew I was old and slow. I wouldn’t be able to do anything. I saw nothing, only darkness. I just heard it. I heard it ripping off her clothes. I heard the demon laugh and I heard your mother’s blood-curling screams.” Ticia said, pausing to wipe her eyes with her blue handkerchief that she always kept handy.
“I heard as it wiped out the entire settlement. I sat in the darkness, sobbing silently as I heard the elves scream around me, and in the trees above. Children, the elderly – no-one was safe. The darkness faded after about 10 minutes, and I was certain it would see me, but miraculously it disappeared back into the crack, which had now closed. I had no idea if the demon did this or your mother, for she was still alive. I was so grateful. I ran to her, hugging her to my chest and weeping. She breathed heavily, and lay naked, with her arms ripped off of her and laying by her sides. I dragged her to my house, over the limp bodies of the dead. I lay her in my bed and covered her wounds as quickly as I could. She apologized over and over, but I just told her to keep quiet and rest. She never left that bed again.”
Ticia could not stop the tears that flowed from her dark purple eyes. “I was barely able to keep her alive. She never stood. She could barely talk. She always had a fever, and hardly ate what I gave her. She only stayed alive long enough to give birth to you, and… well, it was too stressful for her. She died giving birth to you. With her last few breaths, she told me to look after you, and not hate you for being born of a demon. I promised her I would raise you, which is what I did. Since we ran from that village and have been living in this tree, you have learnt how to read and write, you have learnt how to cast shadows like your mother, even without her powerful magic trinket. You can cook and clean yourself, talk, and know of many things about the world. But you need to meet other people. You deserve to live with others.”
And so, finally satisfied with knowing the truth about her mother, Zvirene agreed to leave the forests with Ticia. Ticia tied bows over Zvirene’s horns, cut a fringe over her red eye and made Zvirene long dresses to cover her tail. She told Zvirene that she was special and that her mother believed she could save the world. She believed Zvirene could be the good version of Zvirak. The yang to the yin. The balance. This is what Haerie told Ticia. But Ticia knew people wouldn’t understand, and wouldn’t trust a half-demon, and so she told Zvirene to cover up at all costs.
They left to live in Barkemsted, a city recently constructed in the past few decades that Ticia had heard about out on her travels when she left Zvirene alone in the tree, to get food and such. Zvirene had no idea how to interact with others, but wanted to try for Ticia, whom she admired so much. She traveled to Barkemsted, and hoped that she could further her studies there, aided only with some of her mother’s journals and books of her own to write in.
You’re walking around the markets at around noon. There’s a lot of people around you, still gathering their items as they prepare to shut down their many stands. Suddenly you feel a gentle lifting of your coin purse as a child graces you and soon after they take off sprinting. You have been robbed. Zvirene stares at the child, confused. “That offspring has just taken the coins I need in order to purchase food. Why would it do that?” she’d simply say, half-running towards the child, more confused than angry.
“You, youthful one! Why have you taken that which is mine? Did you not know it was mine? I need you to return that to me immediately.” She would yell at the child.
The child would stop for a moment, laughing a horrible cackle. “Wow lady, why are you so short AND stupid? It’s called stealing. Your money is mine now!” he would yell, sticking out his tongue and running again.
Zvirene would glare, and stomp her foot as she did when angered. “This is not how a functioning economy is supposed to work! One must /earn/ money, not simply take the money for their own gain without having put in some sort of work to attain said money. Hey, are you listening to me? I am /trying/ to educate you on the proper way in which to participate in a society!” she would yell, frustrated in how, as usual, she knew everything and everyone else was just so idiotic.
“You there!” she would say after a while, walking up to a guard. “Your attire would suggest that you are fit to deal with well armed criminals and other such enemies. Are you the one through which law is enforced?” she would say, tapping her foot constantly while glaring up at the armored man.
“Why yes, I am a guard” he would say, confused at how the short woman worded things.
“Then enforce the law and stop that running child from ‘stealing’ my hard earned money!” she’d yell, like an angry pup. “Or shall I educate you on how a functioning society works as well?”
“Uh, I’ll get him” he’d say, shaking his head and running after the child, catching him and returning Zvirene’s cash to her.
You’re heading back to the city through the woods when you hear a whining coming from nearby. Upon further investigation you come across a grey-coloured wolf that appears to have its leg caught in a bear trap. Around it is three smaller lumps of fur, obviously puppies belonging to the trapped mother. Without help, they’ll all die, but wolf skins are quite valuable too, not to mention that the nearby farms suffer quite a bit from the wolf population. “Hmmm… wolves. I never liked you creatures” she would say with curled nose, thinking to all the times she had been out in the woods collecting fruits, and then a wolf would jump out of nowhere and she’d be forced to run away.
“It appears you have been caught in a trap that was not laid for you wolf, or at least I think it not to be. I’m certain there are more appetizing meats than that of a wolf. Unless you were captured just to be killed, likely due to a wolf overpopulation problem in this area.” She’d say, pacing a bit while she walked and thought.
The wolf would whine, interrupting Zvirene’s thoughts. She would stop pacing and stare at it. “It seems that you are a mother. I am not worried about the safety of your offspring, wolf, for I was raised without a mother and adapted quite adequately. If you wanted to live with them, you should not have walked into that trap. There is no room for mistakes when one is trying to survive. Only the best, intellectually and physically can survive and should reproduce. You should suffer for your mistake. Only the best of your kind should live, so as to better your species” she would rant, and then laugh.
“Look at me, talking to a wolf who obviously has no comprehension of language. I guess I am just very generous to want to constantly educate those who do not understand such basic concepts” she’d say, finding the situation rather amusing, and walking off.
_______________________________________________________________________
Magic application: Zvirene learnt dark magic through her mother’s teachings, written down in one of her mother’s many journals. Being as studious as she was, she read the instructions her mother had written and practiced many times over, among the trees when she was bored. She cannot do much, but doing dark magic is something that comes naturally to her, thanks to the demon blood in her veins.
She doesn’t want to become much better at dark magic, but finds it useful. All she can do without a trinket is manipulate shadows, to a small degree. And she can only work with already made shadows. She can change their forms or make them huge – huge enough to conceal a person in darkness, or a small room in darkness. She cannot summon anything though, and certainly cannot open a portal to the demon realm.
She cannot do the stronger spells her mother could – she tried, but couldn’t do anything more without a trinket, and her mother’s was long lost. However, she liked the idea of darkness, for safety reasons. Every time a bear or some other creature walked past, she could quickly hide herself in darkness, or wrap the creature in darkness and run away while it was blinded.
Zvirene is very capable of using magic, but doesn’t have much drive to improve. Her power comes from her knowledge, not from her use of magic. She cannot fight physically, and cannot use any weapon. Thus, running away is what she does best, and dark magic is best for this. She might learn another type of magic if she ever found a trinket, but only if she found that magic to be useful.
-Please give an example in your own words describing the limitations placed upon those who use magic: Those who use magic are limited by the strength of their trinkets, and the strength of their own magic usage. Magic users will get tired when performing multiple spells or powerful ones, especially when new to magic. Like physical muscles, magic users need to train with magic to use it for longer without becoming physically fatigued. Additionally to this, magic users rely on trinkets to channel their magic through, and if the trinket is a weak trinket, than they are limited to weak spells, or rather, weak trinket magic effects. They might be very well practiced and have a lot of magic ‘stamina,’ but will never perform impressively large spells without a better trinket.
-Please give a description of the magic system in your own words: The magic system works with a few different types of magic – holy, elemental, dark, alteration, illusion and telekinetic. One does not use spells necessarily, but rather if one is capable of using magic (something one is born with), then one can just channel the effects of their magic through a trinket, and the magic that appears is based on the specific type of trinket (water trinket means water magic) and the power of a trinket (a weak trinket might control a few drops, while a powerful trinket could control a lake for instance). A fire mage could become a water mage, but learning different types of magic takes practice. Each new type of magic needs to be learnt from scratch.
-You are given a very basic trinket of <element>, you haven't had much practice with magic yet, but you will try your best. Describe some things you could/would do with this trinket: Zvirene is given a small trinket of water. She is not aggressive, and thus would prefer something more calm and serene like water. She would hold this trinket and take a deep breath in. She would try her best to focus on the puddle nearby her feet. She is talented with magic use, being both high elf and demon, and finds it easy to channel the flow of magic through her body. She would continue to breathe deep, slow breaths. She finds no need to rush and be filled with adrenaline. She would approach this how she approached learning dark magic, except focusing on an actual object rather than her body.
She would be patient, and not rush anything. She would stand with her eyes closed, simply breathing and feeling calm, holding the trinket. Then, when her breathing had slowed and her ears filled with silence, she would feel calm and ready to focus entirely on the magic. She would take a sharp breath in, feeling the magic flow through her body quickly, ready and eager to exit her body. She would then snap open her eyes and while clutching the trinket tightly, would stare into the puddle. Lastly, she would exhale, and with exhalation, the magic would also exhale from her body – this was how she approached using dark magic at least.
Nothing might happen the first few times, as Zvirene doesn’t use magic constantly, and thus isn’t quick to perform magic. However, after enough breathing and focusing, the trinket might shimmer a bit, and with an exhaled breath and intense stare, the puddle might ripple, moving about as if a leaf had landed gently on its surface.
It would take a lot more practice to do more than that.
Accepted
Your backstory was a very pleasant read, I'm looking forward to seeing you play Zvirene. Also just so you know there is a section on the enjin forums for players who have already been accepted onto the server to post their secondary character applications on.
http://therealmofsaphriel.enjin.com/forum/m/32802907/viewforum/6137017
haha ah, my bad. Thought this was preferred in general XD Thanks for the time!
Pending
Hello there Murri! First of all we want to thank you for your interest in the server, and apologize that we didn't notice you had updated your application already. We're looking forward to seeing you on, so we'll need to work on a couple things with you so that you can join.
To start, from taking a look at your powergaming definition and your roleplaying history we can see that you've played a lot of tabletop games. While the definition you've given might be appropriate in that situation, it does not necessarily translate the same to a minecraft server scenario. There is at least one important thing that we'll need you to mention explicitly that the definition you gave does not include. If you're having trouble, feel free to look through some previously accepted apps to see how yours is different.
The next thing we're going to need you to work on is your answer to the second roleplay scenario. (The one with the wolves.) You did a nice job of answering the first question 'in-character' but for the next one your reply became lackluster. Rather than telling us 'Ulf will free the mother and to heal her wounds' describe it. Give us a little information about his mannerisms and body language. Is he nervous with trembling hands, or have his years of experience with animal husbandry hardened him? How does he deal with a potentially vicious wild animal that is likely to attack him once freed? Go ahead and be creative, but make sure that you're doing it in-character rather than just telling us what he would do from an out of character perspective.
Last, please make a note somewhere in your application or in another post letting us know you've updated it when you're done. Thanks again and well wishes!
Accepted
The changes you made to your character's background have been deemed sufficient.
We are looking forward to seeing you on server!
Welcome to Saphriel!
Server IP: 192.99.20.170:30352
Texture Pack: http://resourcepack.net/conquest-resource-pack/
Website: http://therealmofsaphriel.enjin.com/home
----OOC Info----
-Minecraft IGN: Varnisis
-Skype name: Zerowulfie
-Do you have any prior roleplay-related experience, if so could you give an example?: Buncha RP servers. LoTC, Crafthammer, RoK.
-Define Power-gaming in your own words: Forcing actions on others or playing an extremely unrealistic character.
-Define Meta-gaming in your own words: Using OOC information to influence RP.
----IC Info----
-Character name: Hel for short.
-Character race: Goblin.
-Character age: 31
-Character Occupation: Tinkerer. Engineer.
-Character description:
Hel stands at roughly 4'10, with cold and logical blue eyes that don't express any detailed emotions besides an almost constant disdain for anyone he looks upon. His hair is tied back in a knot at most times when he is at work, it being a darker shade of red though it's not entirely clear if that is natural from first glance. His skin is a dark mottled green colour, like most Goblins.. His body comes with with a lean frame and shoulders befitting that of a man whose not seen a great deal of physical labour in his day and age.
-Character personality and traits:
If there's one word to adequately describe Hel, it's clever. There's a reason he's able to manage to ingratiate himself to the white folk he find as he flies dangerously close to the sun, some day likely being burned for his association with Humans. Hel is a ruthless competitor in any situation where he sees an opportunity for advancing himself. He carries himself with a great amount of pride in both speech and movement, coming off as pushy at times though it's normally misinterpreted. When it comes to personal ties such as friendships people believe they hold with him, he doesn't hold them on a pedestal or at any exceptional value, simply believing that its the individuals duty to care other than written agreements.
-Character biography:
A wide world filled with conquest - many of his tribe flocked to the idea of such a thing, but few returned.. Conquest of Humanity, and in exchange they would have fields until the sky meets the earth. Helvaer had grown up as a nomad, his "family" consisting of a small group of goblin-ken and the occasional Orc. As with some broods, they did not necessarily know their 'mothers' and 'fathers', relying solely off the aid of their brood - newbloods who are adopted are taught to hunt and fight so they may benefit the tribe. The tribe itself came upon a group of fellow Orcs who served under Kharag, and using their rudimentary negotiation skills, managed to learn of a supposed hunting grounds like no other.
The sought for it, long and hard - they'd only learned the basics- its' name, where to look.. They said it was to be an easy conquest for even a small group, and the fact their brethren had been at war with them only served as an incentive to engage in violence. The tribe were intrigued by it, and after a great deal of time they managed to find a new group of Orcs - ones who said they were going there themselves.
Their searching was finally over, they thought happily. The ones' controlling the passage into the bountiful land were not so easy a conquest; the Humans had iron and steel, but his people were not composed of many warriors. On their first skirmish and subsequent defeat, they were wracked with anger, and understandably crushing defeat at their failure.
With a few quick nods and grunts, the group moved forward with their deliberations - they could not permit themselves to be defeated by the pale-skinned men who dared to fight back. They brought their strongest poisons, their goblins forming engines of war - and in the night, they attempted to vanquish the village. The result was a bloodbath; they came out victorious, but the remnants were entirely shattered and indecisive. Indecisive for far too long, for the slaughter was not complete - survivors had escaped, and the local lords' garrison bore down on them.
He sprinted forwards, trying to dash through- he saw his friends and brothers struggle with a few of the guards. He thought- no, believed in his own mind, that they would be there with him. 'They surely could not lose yet, could they..?' He thought. His feet hit the gravel and carried him fast, the speed of Goblins' serving as a great boon for once in his life time - and eventually, the distance was cleared. Exhausted, lightly injured and mentally snapped he went sprawling forward in the nearest cave he could find, and he embraced sleep. His eyes went dark, and he fell limp, the rest of him following his feet. And so he slept.
-Please give us a short RP response to these two scenarios. (At least one paragraph for each):
You’re walking around the markets at around noon. There’s a lot of people around you, still gathering their items as they prepare to shut down their many stands. Suddenly you feel a gentle lifting of your coin purse as a child graces you and soon after they take off sprinting. You have been robbed:
Hel's beady eyes flit towards the place where his once-full pouch of herbs sat on his belt, and he let out an exhausted sigh. His head lifts up as he goes to look about the crowded streets for the man who robbed him of his posession, grunting with irritation as more and more tall people pass by his view. The miniscule creature would try to weave his way through the crowds, but eventually surrender as he realizes there's no way he'll be able to make anyone return his goods.
You’re heading back to the city through the woods when you hear a whining coming from nearby. Upon further investigation you come across a grey-coloured wolf that appears to have its leg caught in a bear trap. Around it is three smaller lumps of fur, obviously puppies belonging to the trapped mother. Without help, they’ll all die, but wolf skins are quite valuable too, not to mention that the nearby farms suffer quite a bit from the wolf population.
Hel doesn't care about the plight of the wolves, and his nose upturns as the beast whimpers and tries to free itself from the trap. However, a spark of realization flashes through him and he goes to draw his dagger and attempt to jab the Wolf in the throat/side of its face with due apprehension to try and bleed it out. Shortly after he'd skin the beast and disarm the track for later use.
Accepted
You did an excellent job of including the server's lore into your application. Always pleasant to see people taking that into consideration.
We are looking forward to seeing you on server!
Welcome to Saphriel!
Server IP: 192.99.20.170:30352
Texture Pack: http://resourcepack.net/conquest-resource-pack/
Website: http://therealmofsaphriel.enjin.com/home
Denied
Unfortunately it is very apparent that you did not write this application for our server. Besides the fact that you did not fill out the top section of the application at all, there are an abundant amount of problems with what you did write. Included in the many issues with what you have presented here, the first and foremost is that we simply do not have many of the things you mentioned included in our lore.
To begin, you left the race name 'Akari' under the race slot, which is not one that we have in Saphriel. Instead of leaving that and writing 'Can I change this to human?' you should consider just changing it to human. We have no idea what an Akari is, but humans are an acceptable race on this server. Next, his appearance includes many things that also do not exist within our lore. While there are certainly werewolves on our server there are no half-werewolves. Furthermore, no new player is allowed to start off as a werewolf. Such a transformation must be earned in-game through roleplay. Last, the character history is too short and also includes many things that do not fit within the lore of our server. There are no 'demon districts' west, east, or lower. There is no "King of the Demon World Acropolis" and if there was a new player character would not be allowed to start off as his son.
Please take the time to visit our forums and browse through the many posts we have dedicated to the lore of our world before you attempt to reapply. Also make sure that your character history is at least three paragraphs in length or it will be denied on that basis alone. If you have questions about anything feel free to post them here and a staff member will to respond as quickly as possible. The following is a link to our lore section on the forums for the sake of ease.
http://therealmofsaphriel.enjin.com/forum/m/32802907/viewforum/6126255
We look forward to seeing you attempt again and wish you the best of luck.
----OOC Info----
-Minecraft IGN: Xersues
-Skype name (Optional, for server OOC chat): N/A
-Do you have any prior roleplay-related experience, if so could you give an example? Yes. Predominantly the Kingdom of Aeonis MC server along with a few others such as: Fallout: Sins of Our Fathers, Fallout: Ashes of Our Fathers, and Akavir, and a small bit of D&D.
-Define Power-gaming in your own words: Power-gaming is having an obvious advantage over other players or events, mostly in combat. For example, a player causing another player’s character to die or become wounded instantly not allowing for a reaction from the other player.
-Define Meta-gaming in your own words: Meta-gaming is using knowledge obtained out of character, and using it in character to gain an advantage. An example would be: having a friend on Skype tell you where something is happening, and traveling there on purpose.
----IC Info----
-Character name: Gareth Rose
-Character race: Human
-Character age: 22
-Character Occupation (optional, note you still must talk to the lord about loaning or purchasing any stall/shop for your character if he/she would have one. Also be sure to give previous applications a glance before deciding your job, we don't need 5 bartenders!): Aspiring sell ”sword” / Barkamsted military
-Character description (At least one to two paragraphs describing your character’s visual appearance.): Gareth is a young human man, with a build a fair bit above average, standing at 6'4". Given his height and muscular definition, he does not possess a lean but rather a more athletic frame. He has straight, dark brown hair that falls flat above his gunmetal blue eyes. Gareth is frequently training his body so he may face the wilds outside of Barkamsted. He wears simple clothes, a light brown tunic and leather pants, due to his lack of work and motivation for possessions that will not aid his goal.
-Character personality and traits (At least one to two paragraphs describing their personality traits and/or quirks.): Gareth is a confident young man, with big aspirations. He wishes to bring the humans back to their former glory, which can lead members of differing races to see him as partially bigoted. Despite being large and possessing a commanding voice, Gareth tends to keep to himself as he is too entwined in his own personal aspirations to divide his time to others. Due to his time in the forests Gareth has acquired a knack for reacting to surprises. Due to his self-isolation on personal matters he remains without any close friends and a lack of group cooperation and coordination.
-Character biography(At least three paragraphs describing your character's history and experiences):
Gareth was born in and grew up in the village of Barkamsted, not too far from the center of town. He’s fairly educated and came from a good family, although he’s had a taste for getting himself in over his head as a child. His Uncle Varis, a soldier who helped others flee from the invading onslaught of the pact, told him stories of the fallback and the once mighty empire that the humans had held. These stories made the Gareth curious about seeing such a world for himself. Gareth saw himself seeking fame and fortune outside the safety of the town’s walls. He hoped to recreate the glory that his uncle described in his tales.
Once he was ten years old, Gareth's uncle went missing after travelling out into the wilds. His mother became depressed and tried the best she could to dissuade Gareth from following in his uncle’s tracks. Instead of heading his mother’s wishes Gareth began working his body, watching the training routines of the guards, and pushing himself past their standards. He eventually found a way to make money as he grew older, completing requests. As time passed Gareth realized that he loved the thrill of travelling outside of the town, the rush of adrenaline that hit him whenever danger crept up on him. The main issue with this was his lack of protection outside of his own body. Gareth did not possess the wealth to come by much in the way of armor and for a weapon all he had was a short metal bar.
Now into adulthood, Gareth is wholeheartedly dedicated to gathering enough coin to acquire a blade that he can depend on as he travels outside the town. One that he could clash swords with the orcs his uncle’s stories had detailed. However, he seemed to have a problem of misappropriating his coin. He spent almost as much as he brought in completing various tasks as he did preparing for them. Gareth has sworn his life to travelling outside of Barkamsted and defeating the Pact, but there may now be more pressing matters.
-Please give us a short RP response to these two scenarios. (At least one paragraph for each):
You’re walking around the markets at around noon. There’s a lot of people around you, still gathering their items as they prepare to shut down their many stands. Suddenly you feel a gentle lifting of your coin purse as a child graces you and soon after they take off sprinting. You have been robbed.
After walking through the markets for a few minutes Gareth reaches his destination. He stands in awe gawking at the smith’s stall as he admires the fine blades the man has crafted. Realizing that his purse was being lifted Gareth let out a commanding "Hey!" as he scanned his immediate surrounding to spot the child dashing away. Gareth runs in the direction of the child, yelling for him to stop. As the child weaves through the crowds Gareth’s large body is contrastingly bashing into others as he apologizes while attempting to keep sight on the child. He begins to slow down to a halt, realizing that his pursuit is pointless and with the loss of his purse Gareth begins his walk back to the smith’s stall. Defeated, he gives the blades a final glance before heading home.
You’re heading back to the city through the woods when you hear a whining coming from nearby. Upon further investigation you come across a grey-coloured wolf that appears to have its leg caught in a bear trap. Around it is three smaller lumps of fur, obviously puppies belonging to the trapped mother. Without help, they’ll all die, but wolf skins are quite valuable too, not to mention that the nearby farms suffer quite a bit from the wolf population.
His ears perking up at the sound of whining in the distance. Gareth carefully makes his way through the brush of the forest to spot a wolf snared in the trap he had set earlier that week. This was the sort of work Gareth did when he needed money. A local farmer had said that his livestock was being threatened by the abundance of nearby wolves. He carefully approaches the wolf family. Noting that the mother seemed to be fully immobilized he began to move closer, a heavy rock in hand. Slowly creeping his way to wolf, he raised the rock up above his head with both hands wrapped around it to give the impending impact added force. Ignoring the snarls from the wolf, Gareth is now within striking distance when he notices the three smaller lumps of fur. He pauses for a moment, mentally apologizes for his actions, and swings his arms down over the mother’s head. The farmer wanted proof of the job’s completion so he released the trap’s mechanism and slung the fallen mother over his shoulder. He has no sympathy to give to the pups and decides that if they had the will to survive they could do so. Gareth began his trek to the farmstead that tasked him with the disposal. Hopefully the pay will be enough to finally purchase a blade he could call his own.
Accepted
Your application was very well written, with an enjoyable style and a well balanced-character. He will fit into Saphriel nicely. Thank you very much for your interest in the server, we look forward to seeing you on soon!
Welcome to Saphriel!
Server IP: 192.99.20.170:30352
Texture Pack: http://resourcepack.net/conquest-resource-pack/
Website: http://therealmofsaphriel.enjin.com/home
I can't seem to post here without my post disappearing.