I never said every girl wants a macho weight-lifter, I said girls want guys with confidence that take care of themselves. For the most part, shy men turn women off.
@SumDude:
I realize my comment might have come off a little dickish, what I meant was that in general girls want confident men, Fuzzy was coming more from a homosexual perspective and I was pointing out that dating is probably different for him than it would be for our Brazilian friend here. None of what I said was supposed to be an insult to Fuzzy. Also, I do realize that girls don't necessarily want guys who provide everything for them. I did not mean to suggest that you did, what I meant to suggest was that girls like guys who can take care of themselves and stand some chance of protecting them and providing rather than the other way around. Certainly all relationships are give and take and the best ones are balanced. However, it is not the role of the man either today or traditionally, to be taken care of by the female. Surely you want someone more or less equal to you, but I don't think you want someone you have to baby-sit. Correct me if I am wrong.
@Xiili:
Certainly all of that is true. I never said be a muscle bound mass that can lift 30 buses, I said get in shape and be confident.
@All Of You:
I think you're reading a little too much into what I've said here, confidence and taking care of your body are key here. I haven't met many women who want a guy who is afraid and can't tie his own shoes.
@OP:
I hope the advice has helped some. Get out there and experiment and things will shape up for you.
No offense, but you're either a girl or a gay man, in which case it would make sense that being shy wouldn't hurt your chances. We are talking about a guy trying to get girls here. Girls do not want an effeminate man, they want someone who can provide for and protect them (whether they know it or not, this is ingrained in their brains)
does everything you claim to know about the world come out of the BIG BOOK OF ASININE AXIOMS FOR BIGOTS or are you just pullin ffuzzy's leg here? Ugh.
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Quote from Hotels »
Persevering businessmen like myself will not be dissuaded by such baseless criticism and naysaying.
You're not missing anything I guess... I don't regret anything I did, but I've been alone for quite a while now and I can clearly see there are much more important things than sex and girls.
I'm not very confident about relationships, though probably not as much as you, but after some time you'll see that being rejected is not such a big deal. I guess the more you're concerned about it, the less chances you'll have, not because this makes you a worst person, but because most people aren't worth the hassle anyway.
I was the same way growing up.
There were a lot of factors going into it though.
I was always ostracized by a large majority of the student body. Picked on. Bullied. All that wonderful stuff.
But for the longest time people basically treated me like ****. Even the girls. Which really didn't do much for my self confidence. I was quiet, and I liked to draw. I was the perfect target. By the time it was all said and done, I really felt like I had no qualities that a female would want.
So I just never really tried. I admired from afar, but didn't take it much further. Looking back on it now, I feel I made a lot of mistakes, and that there were more than a few girls that actually flirted with me.
I've told part of my story in another thread a long time ago, about my father forcing me into track and field. Well, once he did, I did develop some sense of self confidence. It gave me enough confidence to start wanting to weight lift, in hope that it would end the bullying. It did, to an extent.
And slowly from that point on, I began rebuilding what little confidence I had in myself.
Short story? It took 6 years for me to build enough confidence in myself to ask a girl out on my own terms. Part of it was also frustration with myself, and realizing all my missed opportunities.
But eventually I did. The first one I scared away because I was still insecure with myself. I had never dated before. So I wasn't sure how to put myself out there. But I learned from that. And I eventually met a second. And I've been with her for 2 and half years now. She's absolutely wonderful. She is indeed my other half.
But yeah. Sure, a lot of it seems hopeless I know. You have friends who have girlfriends, and it makes you wonder, "Am I falling behind?"
It all starts to make you feel like you're not keeping up with the rest of society. Like, you need to hit certain mile stones at specific times in your life to be happy. Problem is, not everyone is the same, and they each get things done at a different pace. Life is a journey, not a set of predetermined points.
What I'm trying to get at here, is that the girl thing will happen for you. But you really need to work on YOU before you can actually step forward with confidence. And through my experience, girls aren't the number one important thing. It's finding what makes you happy first and foremost. Dealing with your own demons. But once you're ready, and when you meet the right girl, you'll know it. You'll feel it. And you won't let her slip away so easily. That's how it worked for me. And I can't live without her now.
Step One: Stop freaking out about being a virgin...
Step Two: Be yourself.
Step Three: Get off the computer.
BTW: Some people like a lot of different sex partners.
This does not make them "sluts", unless they lie about it to said partners.
"Sluts" may also be of any gender or sexual inclination, just like virgins...
Ffuzzy is a guy.
I never said every girl wants a macho weight-lifter, I said girls want guys with confidence that take care of themselves. For the most part, shy men turn women off.
@SumDude:
I realize my comment might have come off a little dickish, what I meant was that in general girls want confident men, Fuzzy was coming more from a homosexual perspective and I was pointing out that dating is probably different for him than it would be for our Brazilian friend here. None of what I said was supposed to be an insult to Fuzzy. Also, I do realize that girls don't necessarily want guys who provide everything for them. I did not mean to suggest that you did, what I meant to suggest was that girls like guys who can take care of themselves and stand some chance of protecting them and providing rather than the other way around. Certainly all relationships are give and take and the best ones are balanced. However, it is not the role of the man either today or traditionally, to be taken care of by the female. Surely you want someone more or less equal to you, but I don't think you want someone you have to baby-sit. Correct me if I am wrong.
@Xiili:
Certainly all of that is true. I never said be a muscle bound mass that can lift 30 buses, I said get in shape and be confident.
@All Of You:
I think you're reading a little too much into what I've said here, confidence and taking care of your body are key here. I haven't met many women who want a guy who is afraid and can't tie his own shoes.
@OP:
I hope the advice has helped some. Get out there and experiment and things will shape up for you.
does everything you claim to know about the world come out of the BIG BOOK OF ASININE AXIOMS FOR BIGOTS or are you just pullin ffuzzy's leg here? Ugh.
I'm not very confident about relationships, though probably not as much as you, but after some time you'll see that being rejected is not such a big deal. I guess the more you're concerned about it, the less chances you'll have, not because this makes you a worst person, but because most people aren't worth the hassle anyway.
There were a lot of factors going into it though.
I was always ostracized by a large majority of the student body. Picked on. Bullied. All that wonderful stuff.
But for the longest time people basically treated me like ****. Even the girls. Which really didn't do much for my self confidence. I was quiet, and I liked to draw. I was the perfect target. By the time it was all said and done, I really felt like I had no qualities that a female would want.
So I just never really tried. I admired from afar, but didn't take it much further. Looking back on it now, I feel I made a lot of mistakes, and that there were more than a few girls that actually flirted with me.
I've told part of my story in another thread a long time ago, about my father forcing me into track and field. Well, once he did, I did develop some sense of self confidence. It gave me enough confidence to start wanting to weight lift, in hope that it would end the bullying. It did, to an extent.
And slowly from that point on, I began rebuilding what little confidence I had in myself.
Short story? It took 6 years for me to build enough confidence in myself to ask a girl out on my own terms. Part of it was also frustration with myself, and realizing all my missed opportunities.
But eventually I did. The first one I scared away because I was still insecure with myself. I had never dated before. So I wasn't sure how to put myself out there. But I learned from that. And I eventually met a second. And I've been with her for 2 and half years now. She's absolutely wonderful. She is indeed my other half.
But yeah. Sure, a lot of it seems hopeless I know. You have friends who have girlfriends, and it makes you wonder, "Am I falling behind?"
It all starts to make you feel like you're not keeping up with the rest of society. Like, you need to hit certain mile stones at specific times in your life to be happy. Problem is, not everyone is the same, and they each get things done at a different pace. Life is a journey, not a set of predetermined points.
What I'm trying to get at here, is that the girl thing will happen for you. But you really need to work on YOU before you can actually step forward with confidence. And through my experience, girls aren't the number one important thing. It's finding what makes you happy first and foremost. Dealing with your own demons. But once you're ready, and when you meet the right girl, you'll know it. You'll feel it. And you won't let her slip away so easily. That's how it worked for me. And I can't live without her now.
They help with my problems.
...Yahoo Answers?
Step Two: Be yourself.
Step Three: Get off the computer.
BTW: Some people like a lot of different sex partners.
This does not make them "sluts", unless they lie about it to said partners.
"Sluts" may also be of any gender or sexual inclination, just like virgins...