Granted. But it starts eating all of your grass. It becomes fat and lethargic and becomes very ill from some digestive sickness. Turns out your grass was recently sprayed with some sort of pesticide. Your pony dies.
I wish I had a 0111001101100011011010010110110101101001011101000110000101110010.
You wished for a scimitar? If so:
To get your scimitar, you have to walk twenty miles without shoes on the hottest day of summer on pavement. After walking those twenty miles, you arrive at a shop in the middle of no where that sells novelty key-chains, candy, and many different weapons. The person at the cash register says, "To get a scimitar, you must first buy a novelty key-chain. That will be ten dollars, please." You gasp at the high price, and say, "I'm sorry, I only have five dollars. Is there any way I could get that ridiculously low-priced scimitar over there without buying a key-chain?" The cashier says, "Of course there is, but you'll have to bring me back a very venomous two-headed cobra as payment for the scimitar. You can't use any tools to catch this cobra." You agree, and go off in search of the venomous cobra. Five hours after walking around aimlessly, aimlessly because you are too tired, you come across a conveniently placed "Two-Headed Cobra" shop. You go in and ask the cashier, "Do you have any extremely venomous two-headed cobras in stock?" The cashier replies, "Of course we do." "How much money is it?" you ask. The cashier laughs and says, "You can't buy these cobras with money, you can only buy them with novelty key-chains. To get the cobra you want, you will have to bring me back a novelty key-chain in the shape of a three-dimensional Enneadecagon." You reply, "Okay, I know just where to find one." Unknown to you, an Enneadecagon is a 19-sided two-dimensional polygon. You trek all the way back to the shop in the middle of no where that sells novelty key-chains, candy, and many different weapons. You ask the cashier, "Do you have any novelty key-chains in the shape of a three-dimensional Enneadecagon?" The cashier nods and says, "Yes, we do. But to get it, you'll have to jump into this pit of spiders. Are you willing to do this? They aren't poisonous, but their bites will give you constant pain for twenty-four hours." Because you want the scimitar so bad, you agree and jump in. The cashier yells to you, "You'll have to stay in there for two hours!" "Okay!" you yell back. What a stupid **** you are. After the two hours, the cashier pulls you out. You can barely walk because you're so sore. The cashier gives you you what he says is a three-dimensional Enneadecogon novelty key-chain. You rest for twenty four hours so the pain of the spider bites goes away, but when you awake, there are red marks all over you. You look hideous. You thank the cashier for the three-dimensional Enneadecagon novelty key-chain, and go back to the store that sells Two-Headed Cobras. The cashier there says, "This is not a three-dimensional Enneadecagon, but it will do. Here is your extremely venomous two-headed cobra." The cobra is currently asleep and won't wake up unless Never Gonna Give You Up by Rick Astley is played. You find your way back to the store that sells novelty key-chains, candy, and many different weapons. You begin to hand him the extremely venomous two-headed cobra, but before you can, your cellphone rings. Unfortunately for you, your ring tone is Never Gonna Give You Up by Rick Astley. The cobra awakes and bites both of your arms. The cashier accepts your payment and calls an ambulance. When you get to the emergency room, they inform you that you will have to get both of your arms amputated if you want to live. You get rushed to the operation room. They amputate both of your arms. Two weeks later, the nurse comes into your room and says, "A friend of yours is here." You see the cashier walk through the door into your room, holding the scimitar he owes you. "Here you are, my friend." He places the scimitar on your lap. Too bad you can't use it, because your arms have been amputated.
Citricsquid vandalized this space. It has been sterilized ever since.
"Master Cheif! What did I tell you about humping posts?!"
My Steam ID Is: jjchrizzles
Granted, but your ISP thinks its for piracy and FBI takes your computer and jail you.
I wish i-
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Citricsquid vandalized this space. It has been sterilized ever since.
"Master Cheif! What did I tell you about humping posts?!"
My Steam ID Is: jjchrizzles
Man, in truth, even the greatest technology cannot make this possible (the past, present, and future all simultaneously are, were, and will be at this very moment).
But forget physics and reality. I'll try to grant it anyway. With a corruption, of course.
You are given a device that allows you to rewind time. You are not, however, given the user manual. The interface is complicated. You push a bunch of random buttons and end up rewinding time to several hundred years ago. However, the device only changes time - not space, or your location in it. When time starts again, the earth is in orbit on the opposite side of the sun as it was when you used the device. You almost instantaneously implode in the vacuum of space. The device floats on forever through space until it breaks through the atmosphere of some alien planet, giving another lifeform the chance to make the same mistake as you.
I have three wishes, only the last of which I actually want someone to corrupt. The other two are actual.
1: I wish Snake would look back through the last page or two of this thread to see that, due to a few wishes, my left arm is already bionic - and fully functional as is, I might add.
2: I wish I could figure out why the ones digit of my post count is missing and shows my title as "miner" for 2 to 20-something posts rather than "gold digger" for the 50-some it actually is (yet still is not advancing the numerical value until I make ten more posts).
3 (corrupt this one): I wish I owned a tank.
EDIT: The second one's granted, corrupted in its own way - no more post counting for Off Topic. Drat.
Granted. You download a copy of Peter Bone's Resize and change the size of your signature. You then update it while keeping the Resize application running. Everyone loves the better resolution but the version of Resize you downloaded ended up being a beta. You find out that it's buggy and it won't let you close out of it. Task Manager does not help you. CMD is useless. You find yourself absolutely unable to shut down your computer, so you leave it on. For days. The monitor melts from this constant overuse as your electricity bill skyrockets. Your parents evict you from your own house.
But hey, your sig is a different size.
I wish for a stable, 50cc vial of supercorrosive fluid.
By stable I refer to something made of material that can contain it and does not break if dropped.
EDIT: The details of the corruption of your wish are not necessarily true of the linked Resize, though I have not tried it.
Granted. But when you pop off the cork, the stench is terrible. You drop the vial. The liquid poors out and your feet melt off. You slip into the liquid. Your entire body begins to decay into nothingness. Your screams were never heard. Your corpse was never found. Nothing left but a hole in the ground.
I wish for an indestructible brick that does nothing whatsoever.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
"If you don't miss the Soviet Union, you have no heart. If you do miss the Soviet Union, you have no brain."
For now on I'm typing in Binary.
010010010010000001110111011010010111001101101000001
000000110011001101111011100100010000001100001001000
000111000001101111011011100111100100100001 :biggrin.gif:
You wished for a pony, correct?
Granted. But it starts eating all of your grass. It becomes fat and lethargic and becomes very ill from some digestive sickness. Turns out your grass was recently sprayed with some sort of pesticide. Your pony dies.
I wish I had a 0111001101100011011010010110110101101001011101000110000101110010.
[Note]
To get your scimitar, you have to walk twenty miles without shoes on the hottest day of summer on pavement. After walking those twenty miles, you arrive at a shop in the middle of no where that sells novelty key-chains, candy, and many different weapons. The person at the cash register says, "To get a scimitar, you must first buy a novelty key-chain. That will be ten dollars, please." You gasp at the high price, and say, "I'm sorry, I only have five dollars. Is there any way I could get that ridiculously low-priced scimitar over there without buying a key-chain?" The cashier says, "Of course there is, but you'll have to bring me back a very venomous two-headed cobra as payment for the scimitar. You can't use any tools to catch this cobra." You agree, and go off in search of the venomous cobra. Five hours after walking around aimlessly, aimlessly because you are too tired, you come across a conveniently placed "Two-Headed Cobra" shop. You go in and ask the cashier, "Do you have any extremely venomous two-headed cobras in stock?" The cashier replies, "Of course we do." "How much money is it?" you ask. The cashier laughs and says, "You can't buy these cobras with money, you can only buy them with novelty key-chains. To get the cobra you want, you will have to bring me back a novelty key-chain in the shape of a three-dimensional Enneadecagon." You reply, "Okay, I know just where to find one." Unknown to you, an Enneadecagon is a 19-sided two-dimensional polygon. You trek all the way back to the shop in the middle of no where that sells novelty key-chains, candy, and many different weapons. You ask the cashier, "Do you have any novelty key-chains in the shape of a three-dimensional Enneadecagon?" The cashier nods and says, "Yes, we do. But to get it, you'll have to jump into this pit of spiders. Are you willing to do this? They aren't poisonous, but their bites will give you constant pain for twenty-four hours." Because you want the scimitar so bad, you agree and jump in. The cashier yells to you, "You'll have to stay in there for two hours!" "Okay!" you yell back. What a stupid **** you are. After the two hours, the cashier pulls you out. You can barely walk because you're so sore. The cashier gives you you what he says is a three-dimensional Enneadecogon novelty key-chain. You rest for twenty four hours so the pain of the spider bites goes away, but when you awake, there are red marks all over you. You look hideous. You thank the cashier for the three-dimensional Enneadecagon novelty key-chain, and go back to the store that sells Two-Headed Cobras. The cashier there says, "This is not a three-dimensional Enneadecagon, but it will do. Here is your extremely venomous two-headed cobra." The cobra is currently asleep and won't wake up unless Never Gonna Give You Up by Rick Astley is played. You find your way back to the store that sells novelty key-chains, candy, and many different weapons. You begin to hand him the extremely venomous two-headed cobra, but before you can, your cellphone rings. Unfortunately for you, your ring tone is Never Gonna Give You Up by Rick Astley. The cobra awakes and bites both of your arms. The cashier accepts your payment and calls an ambulance. When you get to the emergency room, they inform you that you will have to get both of your arms amputated if you want to live. You get rushed to the operation room. They amputate both of your arms. Two weeks later, the nurse comes into your room and says, "A friend of yours is here." You see the cashier walk through the door into your room, holding the scimitar he owes you. "Here you are, my friend." He places the scimitar on your lap. Too bad you can't use it, because your arms have been amputated.
100001000000110000100100000011100000111001001100101011011010110100101110101011011010010000001
100001011000110110001101101111011101010110111001110100001000000110011001101111011100100010000
001101101011010010110111001100101011000110111001001100001011001100111010000101100001000000110
000101101110011001000010000001110100011010000110000101110100001000000110100101110100001000000
111001001100001011010010110111001100101011001000010000001110100011011110110010001100001011110
010010000001110011011011110010000001101001001000000111011101101111011101010110110001100100011
011100010011101110100001000000110100001100001011101100110010100100000011101000110111100100000
011001110110111100100000011101000110111100100000011000010010000001100111011011110110110001100
110001000000110001101101100011010010110111001101001011000110010000001110100011010000110100101
101110011001110010111000100000010010000110111101110111001000000110110001101111011011100110011
100100000011010010111001100100000011101000110100001101001011100110010000001101001011011100010
000001100010011010010110111001100001011100100111100100111111
Citricsquid vandalized this space. It has been sterilized ever since.
"Master Cheif! What did I tell you about humping posts?!"
My Steam ID Is: jjchrizzles
I wish for people to stop typing long stories like I do, and people to also stop using binary.
/ragequit
You weren't the first person to EVER do that in a game like this. >:C
Okay, they then start posting RSA encrypted text.
Though I agree, its not cool, and delays me by a few seconds to open up a converter.
I wish that mosquitoes were extinct.
Quality of output = Skill * Effort
I wish I could open my computer ports to host a server.
I wish i-
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
Citricsquid vandalized this space. It has been sterilized ever since.
"Master Cheif! What did I tell you about humping posts?!"
My Steam ID Is: jjchrizzles
But forget physics and reality. I'll try to grant it anyway. With a corruption, of course.
You are given a device that allows you to rewind time. You are not, however, given the user manual. The interface is complicated. You push a bunch of random buttons and end up rewinding time to several hundred years ago. However, the device only changes time - not space, or your location in it. When time starts again, the earth is in orbit on the opposite side of the sun as it was when you used the device. You almost instantaneously implode in the vacuum of space. The device floats on forever through space until it breaks through the atmosphere of some alien planet, giving another lifeform the chance to make the same mistake as you.
I have three wishes, only the last of which I actually want someone to corrupt. The other two are actual.
1: I wish Snake would look back through the last page or two of this thread to see that, due to a few wishes, my left arm is already bionic - and fully functional as is, I might add.
2: I wish I could figure out why the ones digit of my post count is missing and shows my title as "miner" for 2 to 20-something posts rather than "gold digger" for the 50-some it actually is (yet still is not advancing the numerical value until I make ten more posts).
3 (corrupt this one): I wish I owned a tank.
EDIT: The second one's granted, corrupted in its own way - no more post counting for Off Topic. Drat.
I wish for a rubber ducky.
I wish to be almighty!
I wish that I could actually grant wishes. Including mine.
As Warrant Officer of the 1st Infantry Battalion, I am dedicated to the dissuasion and defeat of griefers.
I wish my capacity for memory was infinite.
Relic of a bygone age.
I wish I could resize my Siggy.
As Warrant Officer of the 1st Infantry Battalion, I am dedicated to the dissuasion and defeat of griefers.
But hey, your sig is a different size.
I wish for a stable, 50cc vial of supercorrosive fluid.
By stable I refer to something made of material that can contain it and does not break if dropped.
EDIT: The details of the corruption of your wish are not necessarily true of the linked Resize, though I have not tried it.
I wish for an indestructible brick that does nothing whatsoever.
I wish for an even more acerbic wit.
Relic of a bygone age.
I wish for a wish that would tell me why I was doing this in the first place.
I wish to be a time traveler.
Ain't no party like a [SSSS] party 'cause a [SSSS] party [VV] [tnt]!