Bah forget it. Try copy and pasting any of the assassins' backstories. The green and red would pop up so much you would think you made a Christmas tree.
Oh god, I just tried that. There were so many errors :blink.gif:
IGN:TheBlackWIng__
AGE:14
WHY US: Great server
PREVIOUS BANS: none
IC
Name: Antonio Piero
Age: 26
Occupation:Frost age Bounty Hunter
Appearance: Gold trimmed black armor, red hair but always wears his helmet and has a war axe on his back.
Fears: Citizens getting hurt
Personality: Laughs in the face of danger, follows a bounty till the end
Skills: Master assassin, strength and agility
RP Example (Add dialogue):
B: Bounty Hunter A: Assassins
A: You should leave this place in peace bounty hunter
B: That blade better not be pointed at me assassins
A: Face it your outnumbered and out skilled
B: I may be outnumbered but i am never out skilled
Assassins attacked
Bounty hunter throws smoke bomb and takes all the assassins heads for his reward
Backstory (1-2 LONG paragraphs):When Antonio was only 10 his parents went of to the markets to fetch some food for his birthday on their way home they stumbled into the middle of an Assassins and Templar's showdown and where slaughtered in front of Antonio's eyes. Antonio swore to himself that no Assassin or Templar he meets shall live upon saying this the Assassins offered a home to Antonio and he accepted thinking they would train him and then he would kill them. 16 years have pasted since that day and Antonio has mastered the skills of the Assassins and has killed all of his guild brothers and set out to become a bounty hunter. But this is only the beginning of this story
Again, I really enjoyed reading this. It didn't make me feel like facepalming in the slightest. I like the direction you took this in! And the fact that you are a Neutral character adds to the mystery and power of your beliefs! I will definitely enjoy playing with your uniquely styled character! Clearly you have RPed before, no arguing that.
thanks, I have RPed allot in text based games, but I want to try in minecraft
IGN: fishoak
What Can You Contribute (1-2 Paragraphs): What can I contribute? What can't I? I can make a graveyard with headstones that fit each characters history, organize the government or talk to players about their experience and what we can do to improve. I'm charismatic over the internet, and can usually talk down arguments, problems or uprisings (griefers, etc.) Although I do suffer coding and command wise, I make up for it with always keeping a good watch and trying to avert problems before they happen. On top of the person vs. person conflicts, I've been creating my own free running map and I'm quite good at building and testing.
I also have a good sense with the lore, and I can research whatever I'm not familiar with. I could be of assistance in the whitelisting department and good with role playing. Pretty much I can do whatever asked, except try to jump four blocks while on a ladder (I've been trying though).
Why You (1-2 Paragraphs): I should be chosen because, on top of all the skills I mentioned in the paragraph above, I'm a good person. Not only am I intelligent and well equipped to dispose of any issue but strong willed and courageous. Someone dropped their diamonds in their own lava trap and can't get it out? Sure I'll get it. Lava is just really hot rocks, so it won't be too painful (sarcasm). After someone griefed my house in SoG server, I spent dozens of ruthless hours tracking him down and pinning him. All I had was half a name to go on. I know I'll love the server and will get used to it, and hope to be a growing asset and help in the following weeks that the server is coming up. I've already made an impression on the forums, I'll try to make an even bigger one come game time.
Are You Willing To Build: YES, I'm good at it too.
How Active Will You Be: 2 hours weekdays, lots more
Staff Experience: None officially, but I'm also a help and pleasure on each server I enter. In Shadows of Gazamo I helped build down and outposts, and keep the peace with the rising tension from a 10 year old unbannable troll.
Position I Want (Moderator, Whitelister, etc.): Whitelister for now, once server goes up I may lay off those duties and work towards builder and general overseer. I would also want to help build before the server goes up.
I hope you accept me. Your mistake will not be regretted by you or any of your teammates. Please contact me once you've made a decision.
have you had a look at my app yet Andymo, just fearing it drowned in all the posts.
also it would be awesome if you would allow me to build my tower before the server goes online or maybe even copy one of my towers into the game, NP if I won't be allowed, I will just create it as soon as I get in :wink.gif:
Welcoem to the team Fishoak. i am also one of the new whitelister and builders. :tongue.gif:
As for you fox,I have seen your application,and here is my verdict.
-start of application-
OCC
IGN: Foxokon94
AGE: 17
WHY US: Simple, I love RPing and I love AC
PREVIOUS BANS: none
IC
Name: The Edge of reality
Age: not known, rumored to be very old
Occupation: illusionist
Organisation (The Creed, Templar, Neutral or Bounty Hunter): Neutral
(If bounty hunter specify what group you want to be in)
Appearance: wear a robe and a mask to hide his identity
Fears: having his secrets revealed a couple of other fears as well, but I won't give you everything
Personality: silent and balanced, does not care for politics but supports neither the Assasins or the Templars because of their use off violence. he will help everyone who asks(and can pay in some way) no matter what group you belongs to however he will never make anythign intended to hurt another human being.
He often talk to himself.
Skills: farming (I actually know allot about this), Brewing (I am working on learning everything by hart.) Enchantments (I actually translate then, devides then try to figure out what the combination will do to the item, hard work but >I find it fun)
RP Example (Add dialogue):
The Edge of Reality is standing and looking out of a window inside his tower made out of cobblestone
He turns around and walks over to his brewing stand standing on the other side of the room
the room is lit up with redstone torches
Someone opens the trapdoor leading down to the main part of the tower
a Templar emerges through it
The Edge of Reality: I told you not to come up here
Templar: we are tired of waiting
you told us we would get the potion today
The Edge of Reality takes a bottle from the brewing stand and throws it to the Templar
The Edge of Reality: Here it is
now leave the edge because your don't have the courage, to jump
The Templar looks at The Edge of Reality with a weird out look
after a while he leaves the room
The Edge of Reality walks over to the window again and looks out over the dirt huts surrounding his tower
a couple of poor travelers and bounty hunters are walking around the area probably waiting for The Edge of Realities help
The Edge of Reality: no one does
the assasins think they take a leap of faith
but they don't have the courage to jump
to see the world for what it really is
and the Templars obsessed with order
they don't understand that order only can be obtained through logic
and the human mind will newer be logical
because only by accepting peace in the purest form human kind can create a world based on logic
and only then the entire mankind can take the final leap of faith
and see the world for what it is
Backstory (1-2 LONG paragraphs):
showing up from nowhere a couple of years ago. no one knew who he was or where he came from. Maybe he has been siting in his tower for his entire life, maybe he has traveled the world, maybe he has trained with the Assassins or the Templars. No one knows but him and he won't tell. one day there light appeared in the old abandoned tower and when the villagers arrived there they found that the tower had been been cleaned and the old sign was instead saying the edge of reality, no Entrance. The found a block of an unknown purple material blocking the way into the top of the tower and no matter what they did they where to able to remove it.
A couple of years wen't by. Every night the inhabitants of the town could see the light from the tower, roumors started to go about a ghost haunting the tower and the villagers named The ghost The Edge of Reality because of what the signed said. One day a stranger entered the city. he was old broke ugly and he smelled.
no one wanted to give him roof above his head so he wen't to the old tower to spend the night there not knowing about the ghost. He entered the tower and fell asleep on the floor at the bottom of it.
In the middle of the night the man wake up and saw light coming from the top of the tower. he wen't to explore and when he reached the top he found a trapdoor leading into the top room. As he entered the room he was met by a view he has never seen before. The room was filled with object that was unknown to him and types of blocks that he had never seen before. along one of the walls what could only be described as a portal was standing and through this portal a figure emerged. This scared the man who ran and woke up the villagers telling them what he had just seen.
Here ends the tail of The Edge of Realities origins, what happened after this is not known, but the city was soon after disbanded and travelers started to come to The Edge of Realities tower to rest in the dirt huts and ask him for help, where the story goes from here only the future will show.
Welcoem to the team Fishoak. i am also one of the new whitelister and builders. :tongue.gif:
As for you fox,I have seen your application,and here is my verdict.
Accepted! Just wait till Andy whitelists you.
Thanks man, see you inside, tried to write my backstory as an exiting story to make it more entertaining to read :wink.gif:
Welcome to the team Fishoak. i am also one of the new whitelister and builders. :tongue.gif:
As for you fox,I have seen your application,and here is my verdict.
Accepted! Just wait till Andy whitelists you.
Yah! So when can I build (if I can)?
Wait I'm in. Wow, cool server. I still need materials to build. How can I switch game mods?
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Then once by men and angels to be seen,
In roaring he shall rise and on the surface die.
IGN:xrabidtacoz
AGE:13
WHY US:I love Assassins Creed and I would love to be playing with you
PREVIOUS BANS:none
IC
Name:Grant Geiman
Age:13
Occupation: Merchant
Organisation (The Creed, Templar or Neutral):The Creed
Appearance:A outfit of of assassins creed
Fears:I show no fears. I will take on any challenge you throw at me
Personality:Very likeable, charismatic
Skills:Endurance, stamina and awesome with hidden blade.
RP Example (Add dialogue):
G:Guard
C:Civilian
C:good day sir
G:Good day to you to. Have you seen any suspicious acts around here?
C:Can't say I have. Wait look over there.
(Guard turns around then the civilian stabs him in the neck with his hidden blade)
C:Long Live The Assassins(yells the civilian.he climbs up the side of a building and jump of the other side)
Backstory (1-2 LONG paragraphs): Grant was born in a little village that was really poor, his mother and father were hung for being accused of treason. Grant live alone for all these years. Then one day Cesare's troops ran down his village and killed everyone in sight. Grant ran away hoping none of the Templers would follow, and sure enough none did. Grant had been walking in the woods for five days when he found a little hut. He had knocked on the door hoping someone would answer, Then a strange man opened the door. "Hello there young one why are you out in the woods all alone for?". Grant had told his story to the man and the man seemed angry when he mentioned Cesare's troops.
The man let Grant stay at his house for Grant had no where to go. " The man began to train Grant and taught him, He had been a father to Grant . When Grant grew older he learn new moves and one day Mario (The strange man) Had brought him to a special room where he had told Grant about the Creed. Grant now knew that he had to kill the templers and stop them for he had become an Assassin now. Then one night when Grant was asleep he heard a yelling down stairs he ran as fast as he could but no use he saw Mario dead on the floor with footprints of men that had come and gone. Grant did nothing but dig a grave for Mario. Grant swore that he will kill and stop Cesare's troops. He set of to begin his task, but his mission had only just began....
IGN:xrabidtacoz
AGE:13
WHY US:I love Assassins Creed and I would love to be playing with you
PREVIOUS BANS:none
IC
Name:Grant Geiman
Age:13
Occupation: Merchant
Organisation (The Creed, Templar or Neutral):The Creed
Appearance:A outfit of of assassins creed
Fears:I show no fears. I will take on any challenge you throw at me
Personality:Very likeable, charismatic
Skills:Endurance, stamina and awesome with hidden blade.
RP Example (Add dialogue):
G:Guard
C:Civilian
C:good day sir
G:Good day to you to. Have you seen any suspicious acts around here?
C:Can't say I have. Wait look over there.
(Guard turns around then the civilian stabs him in the neck with his hidden blade)
C:Long Live The Assassins(yells the civilian.he climbs up the side of a building and jump of the other side)
Backstory (1-2 LONG paragraphs): Grant was born in a little village that was really poor, his mother and father were hung for being accused of treason. Grant live alone for all these years. Then one day Cesare's troops ran down his village and killed everyone in sight. Grant ran away hoping none of the Templers would follow, and sure enough none did. Grant had been walking in the woods for five days when he found a little hut. He had knocked on the door hoping someone would answer, Then a strange man opened the door. "Hello there young one why are you out in the woods all alone for?". Grant had told his story to the man and the man seemed angry when he mentioned Cesare's troops.
The man let Grant stay at his house for Grant had no where to go. " The man began to train Grant and taught him, He had been a father to Grant . When Grant grew older he learn new moves and one day Mario (The strange man) Had brought him to a special room where he had told Grant about the Creed. Grant now knew that he had to kill the templers and stop them for he had become an Assassin now. Then one night when Grant was asleep he heard a yelling down stairs he ran as fast as he could but no use he saw Mario dead on the floor with footprints of men that had come and gone. Grant did nothing but dig a grave for Mario. Grant swore that he will kill and stop Cesare's troops. He set of to begin his task, but his mission had only just began....
The length is fine but look, please, read the previous posts before applying. And when I said "Look at other people's backstories for ideas." what I meant was look at the backstories of people who were accepted. I'm not staff, but here's some friendly advice:
1. We have too many Assassins.
2. Are you really a merchant? Because your description makes it seem like you're actually an assassin.
3. Really now? Again with the "parents killed and out for revenge" thing? Be more creative than that. Not everything has to be revenge based. Especially with the whole "templars killed my parents" thing, this thread gets that too much.
4. The backstory seems too monotonous, so it doesn't make you feel for your character. Use more complicated words, like "praying" instead of "hoping". Keep your words varying and entertaining.
5. Related to your backstory: How did Grant know it was Cesare's troops who killed Mario?
6. Don't have dialogue in your backstory. It doesn't flow very well.
7. Punctuation. Simple enough.
Watch how I re-phrase your writing, this is what you wrote:
"He had knocked on the door hoping someone would answer, Then a strange man opened the door. "Hello there young one why are you out in the woods all alone for?". Grant had told his story to the man and the man seemed angry when he mentioned Cesare's troops."
You could make this extract flow by phrasing it like this:
"Inside the hut he found an old man with a powerful presence living alone. When Grant recalled his story and the armor of the men who attacked, the man appeared angry. He then told Grant his name was Mario, fed him, and said that he could stay as long as he liked."
Do you see what I mean? Rather, do you feel what I mean? How if you read it out loud it sounds...professional? Professional is the feel you want from your backstory.
This is an interesting way to take the word "backstory" seeing as though it is a story of background things in a way. You are a good storyteller, but really, what we mean by backstory is to tell the story of your characters life until the present. Not to just tell a story about your character. I believe your character has the potential to be a good addition to the server, all you need to do is follow the guidelines set by others and expand upon your characters personality until it's something you're proud of. At that point, feel free to re-present it. Also, try not making your story so cliche. Like don't make it like: "The templars killed my parents/family, I vow revenge" Please no more of that. Please, please, PLEASE nothing like that.
Did you read it, the CREEP FOLLOWERS destroy the town, a mail man ask him to become assasin before the atack, and the story is up to date; the new assasin's life history is in there, but if you want I could change it
IGN:xrabidtacoz
AGE:13
WHY US:I love Assassins Creed and I would love to be playing with you
PREVIOUS BANS:none
IC
Name:Grant Geiman
Age:13
Occupation: Merchant
Organisation (The Creed, Templar or Neutral):The Creed
Appearance:A outfit of of assassins creed
Fears:I show no fears. I will take on any challenge you throw at me
Personality:Very likeable, charismatic
Skills:Endurance, stamina and awesome with hidden blade.
RP Example (Add dialogue):
G:Guard
C:Civilian
C:good day sir
G:Good day to you to. Have you seen any suspicious acts around here?
C:Can't say I have. Wait look over there.
(Guard turns around then the civilian stabs him in the neck with his hidden blade)
C:Long Live The Assassins(yells the civilian.he climbs up the side of a building and jump of the other side)
Backstory (1-2 LONG paragraphs): Grant was born in a little village that was really poor, his mother and father were hung for being accused of treason. Grant live alone for all these years. Then one day Cesare's troops ran down his village and killed everyone in sight. Grant ran away hoping none of the Templers would follow, and sure enough none did. Grant had been walking in the woods for five days when he found a little hut. He had knocked on the door hoping someone would answer, Then a strange man opened the door. "Hello there young one why are you out in the woods all alone for?". Grant had told his story to the man and the man seemed angry when he mentioned Cesare's troops.
The man let Grant stay at his house for Grant had no where to go. " The man began to train Grant and taught him, He had been a father to Grant . When Grant grew older he learn new moves and one day Mario (The strange man) Had brought him to a special room where he had told Grant about the Creed. Grant now knew that he had to kill the templers and stop them for he had become an Assassin now. Then one night when Grant was asleep he heard a yelling down stairs he ran as fast as he could but no use he saw Mario dead on the floor with footprints of men that had come and gone. Grant did nothing but dig a grave for Mario. Grant swore that he will kill and stop Cesare's troops. He set of to begin his task, but his mission had only just began....
Congradulations, You are rejected!
first off,like I have stressed nearly 15 tiems here already,there are too many assassins. When can I knock this into your little peahead of a brain? Second of all,make sense with occupations and skills. as a merchant you are defenseless not "awesome with hidden blades". Also for age,you need to make up an age. A 13 year old merchant? really? so basically you suppor child labor? Also,can I tell how cliche your backstory is? Allow me to put it like this. A computer wire is normally at the maximum of 16 feet. if I wrote the word "cliche' on every nanometer,it would not equal to 1/1,000,000 percent to how cliche that backstory is. if you have any questions feel free and ask me.
Did you read it, the CREEP FOLLOWERS destroy the town, a mail man ask him to become assasin before the atack
Yeah I did read it. And I noticed your 1-2 paragraphs of backstory are missing, do you know where they went? Also, a little reminder for anyone who posts:
Yeah I did read it. And I noticed your 1-2 paragraphs of backstory are missing, do you know where they went? Also, a little reminder for anyone who posts:
Do people even bother reading other peoples applications? Specifically ones who were accepted to know what to model their backstory after? You don't have to be the most creative person in the world to write a backstory that doesn't include "The Templars killed my parents! I'm out for revenge!" Try something other than that, I understand not a lot of people are creative but read a book, seriously, get your ideas from other stories and combine them to make them your own! I also know a lot of you are gamers who tend to play games purely for gameplay reasons but take a look at the story for once.
Take an idea and play with it in your head! Plot-twists are an excellent way of writing a good story, betrayal, love and loss, self loathing, and the list goes on! Take my backstory for example, lets analyze this, I use a simple detail from simply the skin of my character and make a story from it to explain it! I know not everyone has the most exciting skins but still.
Another tip: Keep it chronological! Make a timeline of your invented characters life! I use my age as an entrance to the next chapter of my life. Limit plot holes!
All in all your backstory (if 1-2 paragraphs) should take you at least 15 minutes. Get attached to your backstory! Be proud of it! It's these emotions for your backstory that allow you to fully take on the character in server role play!
I really hope this is helpful to whoever reads this since if you are reading this you have already taken your first step! You've read other peoples' responses to the thread, and in accepting the knowledge given to you by others, you are making your story even greater!
To the Templars: May the Father of Understanding guide and protect you.
EDIT:
Now this is what I mean! Action, Chronological order! I enjoyed reading this, I would accept this. You clearly took this seriously. You had not one but two life changing events before your story ended. The only thing I would add is a link to the present at the end, but it isn't really necessary. If you get denied I don't believe it will be because of your story, but because of the amount of assassins there are.
why thank you. took me a while. had to read it over multiple times, almost started over, too. well, of course, i'd be very disappointed if this isnt accepted. BTW i havent been seeing many apps being denied or accepted lately... ?
Oh god, I just tried that. There were so many errors :blink.gif:
AGE:14
WHY US: Great server
PREVIOUS BANS: none
IC
Name: Antonio Piero
Age: 26
Occupation:Frost age Bounty Hunter
Appearance: Gold trimmed black armor, red hair but always wears his helmet and has a war axe on his back.
Fears: Citizens getting hurt
Personality: Laughs in the face of danger, follows a bounty till the end
Skills: Master assassin, strength and agility
RP Example (Add dialogue):
B: Bounty Hunter A: Assassins
A: You should leave this place in peace bounty hunter
B: That blade better not be pointed at me assassins
A: Face it your outnumbered and out skilled
B: I may be outnumbered but i am never out skilled
Assassins attacked
Bounty hunter throws smoke bomb and takes all the assassins heads for his reward
Backstory (1-2 LONG paragraphs):When Antonio was only 10 his parents went of to the markets to fetch some food for his birthday on their way home they stumbled into the middle of an Assassins and Templar's showdown and where slaughtered in front of Antonio's eyes. Antonio swore to himself that no Assassin or Templar he meets shall live upon saying this the Assassins offered a home to Antonio and he accepted thinking they would train him and then he would kill them. 16 years have pasted since that day and Antonio has mastered the skills of the Assassins and has killed all of his guild brothers and set out to become a bounty hunter. But this is only the beginning of this story
thanks, I have RPed allot in text based games, but I want to try in minecraft
ACCCCEEEEPPPTEEEEDDD!!!!!
Welcome!
also it would be awesome if you would allow me to build my tower before the server goes online or maybe even copy one of my towers into the game, NP if I won't be allowed, I will just create it as soon as I get in :wink.gif:
Welcoem to the team Fishoak. i am also one of the new whitelister and builders. :tongue.gif:
As for you fox,I have seen your application,and here is my verdict.
Accepted! Just wait till Andy whitelists you.
Thanks man, see you inside, tried to write my backstory as an exiting story to make it more entertaining to read :wink.gif:
Yah! So when can I build (if I can)?
Wait I'm in. Wow, cool server. I still need materials to build. How can I switch game mods?
In roaring he shall rise and on the surface die.
Hope to see you on the server too.
P.S. Isn't my pink font just lovely?
In roaring he shall rise and on the surface die.
IGN:xrabidtacoz
AGE:13
WHY US:I love Assassins Creed and I would love to be playing with you
PREVIOUS BANS:none
IC
Name:Grant Geiman
Age:13
Occupation: Merchant
Organisation (The Creed, Templar or Neutral):The Creed
Appearance:A outfit of of assassins creed
Fears:I show no fears. I will take on any challenge you throw at me
Personality:Very likeable, charismatic
Skills:Endurance, stamina and awesome with hidden blade.
RP Example (Add dialogue):
G:Guard
C:Civilian
C:good day sir
G:Good day to you to. Have you seen any suspicious acts around here?
C:Can't say I have. Wait look over there.
(Guard turns around then the civilian stabs him in the neck with his hidden blade)
C:Long Live The Assassins(yells the civilian.he climbs up the side of a building and jump of the other side)
Backstory (1-2 LONG paragraphs): Grant was born in a little village that was really poor, his mother and father were hung for being accused of treason. Grant live alone for all these years. Then one day Cesare's troops ran down his village and killed everyone in sight. Grant ran away hoping none of the Templers would follow, and sure enough none did. Grant had been walking in the woods for five days when he found a little hut. He had knocked on the door hoping someone would answer, Then a strange man opened the door. "Hello there young one why are you out in the woods all alone for?". Grant had told his story to the man and the man seemed angry when he mentioned Cesare's troops.
The man let Grant stay at his house for Grant had no where to go. " The man began to train Grant and taught him, He had been a father to Grant . When Grant grew older he learn new moves and one day Mario (The strange man) Had brought him to a special room where he had told Grant about the Creed. Grant now knew that he had to kill the templers and stop them for he had become an Assassin now. Then one night when Grant was asleep he heard a yelling down stairs he ran as fast as he could but no use he saw Mario dead on the floor with footprints of men that had come and gone. Grant did nothing but dig a grave for Mario. Grant swore that he will kill and stop Cesare's troops. He set of to begin his task, but his mission had only just began....
The length is fine but look, please, read the previous posts before applying. And when I said "Look at other people's backstories for ideas." what I meant was look at the backstories of people who were accepted. I'm not staff, but here's some friendly advice:
1. We have too many Assassins.
2. Are you really a merchant? Because your description makes it seem like you're actually an assassin.
3. Really now? Again with the "parents killed and out for revenge" thing? Be more creative than that. Not everything has to be revenge based. Especially with the whole "templars killed my parents" thing, this thread gets that too much.
4. The backstory seems too monotonous, so it doesn't make you feel for your character. Use more complicated words, like "praying" instead of "hoping". Keep your words varying and entertaining.
5. Related to your backstory: How did Grant know it was Cesare's troops who killed Mario?
6. Don't have dialogue in your backstory. It doesn't flow very well.
7. Punctuation. Simple enough.
Watch how I re-phrase your writing, this is what you wrote:
"He had knocked on the door hoping someone would answer, Then a strange man opened the door. "Hello there young one why are you out in the woods all alone for?". Grant had told his story to the man and the man seemed angry when he mentioned Cesare's troops."
You could make this extract flow by phrasing it like this:
"Inside the hut he found an old man with a powerful presence living alone. When Grant recalled his story and the armor of the men who attacked, the man appeared angry. He then told Grant his name was Mario, fed him, and said that he could stay as long as he liked."
Do you see what I mean? Rather, do you feel what I mean? How if you read it out loud it sounds...professional? Professional is the feel you want from your backstory.
Did you read it, the CREEP FOLLOWERS destroy the town, a mail man ask him to become assasin before the atack, and the story is up to date; the new assasin's life history is in there, but if you want I could change it
Congradulations, You are rejected!
first off,like I have stressed nearly 15 tiems here already,there are too many assassins. When can I knock this into your little peahead of a brain? Second of all,make sense with occupations and skills. as a merchant you are defenseless not "awesome with hidden blades". Also for age,you need to make up an age. A 13 year old merchant? really? so basically you suppor child labor? Also,can I tell how cliche your backstory is? Allow me to put it like this. A computer wire is normally at the maximum of 16 feet. if I wrote the word "cliche' on every nanometer,it would not equal to 1/1,000,000 percent to how cliche that backstory is. if you have any questions feel free and ask me.
Yeah I did read it. And I noticed your 1-2 paragraphs of backstory are missing, do you know where they went? Also, a little reminder for anyone who posts:
SPELL CHECK EVERYTHING BEFORE YOU POST
And @Griefepatrol yes the servers up.
Is anyone on? On my screen it says nobody is on.
why thank you. took me a while. had to read it over multiple times, almost started over, too. well, of course, i'd be very disappointed if this isnt accepted. BTW i havent been seeing many apps being denied or accepted lately... ?