When it comes to online content, there's a reason its not rated by the ESRB. People can and will be dicks whenever they want. The idea of being anonymous gives some people a dark side to do whatever they want. If you want him to enjoy multiplayer, try joining friends games, and make sure your kid knows its not cool to take other peoples things or destroy their houses.
Really, he may be inadvertantly griefing or something along those lines if he's being booted. not really his fault as he doesn't realize it, but when it comes to playing with other people, try to make it friends at first until he's got the hang of playing with others and the 'rules' of it, then go from there. It is a fun experience playing with new people, but finding trusted servers or the such is probably the safest start... on the 360 thats a problem though.
It really does suck to have to deal with these realities, but people can and will be jerks... On the internet its pretty much considered cool to be a jackass, so most people are. Eventually they grow up, but the internet is populated by mostly immature people who think they're of supreme intelligence and anyone else is stupid and beneath them.
Sort of human nature? Either way, You can always play with him for a time, Even if you don't like the game, bonding with your kid over something he enjoys is never a bad thing... Plus it'll get him used to playing with others.
Sorry I'm just getting back to responding to everyone....I guess we're only allowed a certain amount of posts per day...and I want to make sure I answer everyone individually who was nice enough to take the time to respond to me. If I don't get to everyone today, I'll def. do it tomorrow.
Anyway Karbuncle, your points are well-taken. From what I can gather, it doesn't appear he has done any "griefing", he was just not "cool" enough to play with some of these kids. So yes, I think restricting his "friends" list might be a good idea...though he does have friends who straddle the "cool" and "non-cool" groups, so if he's in a certain group doing well, and some of the cooler kids come in, that's when some of the problems arise. I do get....from reading some of the other posts....that there is a "need" for an ability to "get rid of someone" if they're causing trouble....but it's unfortunate it provides the opportunity for some of the power-hungry/bully-ish kids to get rid of otherwise nice kids.
Unfotunately this is a side effect of interacting with other people. You are bound to run into a bunch of idiots. It took me a long time to find a server that I really liked with people that I liked to be "around". Of course, I am forty-four and possibly better equipped to handle the frustration and disappointment that failed attempts to find a server can cause.
Not to sound patronizing (or whatever it is I am about to sound like) but maybe you can used this as a learning experience. You could show him things like not letting others ruin your fun, not stooping to their level, not giving up, and (if you don't give up and find a good server) that there are good people out there.
I wish I could help more. If he played the PC version, I could reccommend an excellent, family friendly server where you will receive all of the respect that you deserve.
Hi Barlycorn,
Thank you for taking the time to chime in on this thread.
You're right, you're going to run into bad apples wherever you go, and the internet does provide an easy excuse for that sort of behavior. As you said, ultimately we're going to turn this into learning experience for him. In talking to him, he did mention the PC version, which he had played quite a bit prior to getting the Xbox for Christmas. Though at this point he's playing with just his peers, I'd certainly appreciate any direction you had regarding a family-friendly server.
This is to do with the Xbox players, not Minecraft as a whole. Also, being kicked out isn't bullying. If your child was doing something wrong then that could be why.
Also, just because I'm an OCD psychology lover, I'd like to note that your child sound like they are an Introvert, coming from you saying that they are socially shy.
c:
Hi Dextrous...
Maybe it's a matter of semantics, but it IS bullying if he was kicked out for no other reason than the kids didn't think he was cool enough to play with them. I was in the room, and from what I could gather, he didn't do anything wrong.
Also, while I appreciate your interest in arm-chair psychology, as a double major in psychology and mental health who graduated magna cum laude from an esteemed university, I can tell you he isn't an introvert . He may be shy, but he is not energized by being alone, which is the true definition of an introvert . That's neither here nor there though, as far as this discussion is concerned.
Anyway, thhank you for taking the time to comment. ...
I agree with several posts above that the server owners and admins have every right to kick/ban people from the server. (They are the one paying for it after all). However, I do not think it is "right" for them to do it if the person isn't misbehaving, or causing any trouble that interferes with the players or the server. I apologize that your son had to deal with this, and I would just tell him to continue to find a server until he finds the right one.
I would be as angry as you if I had a son who went through this. I would also recommend getting your son the PC version, as it has a much better community in my opinion. More teenagers play the XBOX version, so that could possibly contribute to it being a bit more unfriendly. I hope you find the right server, and I wish people would not bully your son, or anyone.
Thanks very much for your thoughts bfrank. I agree 100% with everything you said. It's just a shame -- and especially hurtful -- when the option to "kick someone out" is abused, and that particular verbage is used. I'm definitely going to look into this alternative server idea....
First of all its Xbox, there are no servers other then friends inviting friends to the game and unless he is the "owner" of the map aka he is the one hosting the game he cannot be kicked out.And to be honest it kinda seem like your joking with us.Because of the way your dragging this conversation on. Xbox is allot different then PC version in a way you set up games or servers. Only the party leader can kick/invite/ban ect and i don't think there is a banning system on the xbox version unless its a new feature no banning can be done on minecraft "Xbox" edition.
#XBOX He is talking about the Xbox edition not the pc. I'm saying this because allot of people seem to be saying find a new server or look for a family friendly one...
edit: I'v noticed that the children are kicking him and if this keeps happening why not just admit him into a club.....I know people like your son and they have friends they can relate to now. In other words he needs new friends.
sorry if this seems heartless but iv seen way to many parents complain and honestly complaining to the forum seems a little over board since most of us really can do much but give advice or feel bad for him.
You left your kid alone in the jungle, and then, when he was eaten by a tiger, you went to the wrong place to complain to the wrong people?
Playing online with other people is not recommended for young kids. And it is not me who is saying that, it is the PEGI system.
Other than that, as far as I know, you can only play with your friends in the XBox version. Maybe your kid should choose better friends?
This^^
I have kids, and of course I don't want any of them bullied...
..But at the same time I have to just roll my eyes when people/kids/parents get on forums like this to complain they got mistreated on the internet.
"I let my kid play call of duty and he was called names!!"
...I'm sorry...but at the same time, cry me a river. its a dog eat dog world. And the internet is one place where you can't hide behind your participation trophy or your political correctness.
As I imagine others have mentioned, the game is called "Minecraft"- a combination of two of the primary activities of the game (well, in the survival mode).
If he actually started them, only those who he allows to do so will have the ability to kick, as far as I'm aware. So he should only trust his actual friends. I've seen people tricked into giving, say, the popular kid's something because the popular kid dangles the carrot of possible popularity or being part of that little "clique"; Of course this was back when I was in school (2000-2005) and naturally Minecraft didn't exist yet, but I saw it with other things. After gaining the "unpopular" kid's trust, they abuse it. This is how they work. In many ways that abuse could be called bullying, but it's also rather easy to prevent by simply not trusting them to begin with. This might be me completely misreading and misinterpreting the situation here as you've presented it though.
Would you prefer the game to lie and say there was a "Socket Error" or something? I'm really not sure I understand the complaint here; Your Son should play with real friends, not fake friends that are using their popular to abuse the trust of others via the "carrot dangle" method that I've seen far too often.
Another, more sinister thing that I've seen is that Kids that have very few friends will think they are making new friends, when the people purporting to be their new friends are really just abusing some capability that the kid has. In this case, maybe he is a very good builder in Minecraft. It may very well be that he is better than them, so they ask him to build stuff- and, under the impression that this will gain their approval, he obliges and builds them something nice.
Afterwards, he get's kicked- he's "serves his purpose" so to speak, and the kids he built it for basically got a nice structure for free.
The solution is not in restricting the ability of those other kids from being able to kick, but in your son realizing that there is no such thing as a free Lunch, and that these kids might not really want to be his friends and the invitations are to abuse his abilities as a builder, and then discard him when they don't need him. Inevitably he does have many actual friends, so it would be best if he Creates his own world and only invites his actual friends.
The latter is not the case. The way the Xbox version works is you can "invite" other players to your world. For example, other players could invite your Son to play on their World. However the important thing is that this is still their world- they have control and can kick whomever they please. It's also possible for Players to designate other players who have "op" status, which means they can kick other players from the world.
If your son has created a world and was 'tricked' into giving such Op powers, that is a bit of a problem. The best way to fix this would be for him to go on his world and deOp the players in question when they aren't around (again, I'm not 100% how this works). If he was able to Op them he should know how to do the reverse, as well.
Yes, it is bullying. But he is "allowing" it, in some sense. I'm not trying to say that it's his fault by any stretch at all, but rather what we have here is popular kids 'abusing' their popularity to get what they want. For example going by your account he is good at the game, and possibly a good builder. Well, if I understand the mentality of popular kids, if they want something, they will use their popularity to get it. If your son is a good builder and they suck at building, they will use their popularity sway to ask him to build them a house, or something.
The problem is in accepting that this is happening. It can be a good feeling to go "OMG OMG they are asking me to help them! If I do this it could help me be better accepted by them" etc. But the reality is that they are just using their popularity to get what they want, with no regard for those people they use and abuse in the process. The best solution I think is for your Son to simply not follow along with those requests. Instead, play the game with people they know, and hang out with at school, and not oblige those that would abuse their 'position' of popularity to get something they want from others.
The 'problem' exists, but in this case it's a two-way street. Best analogy I can think of would be back in school when I won a district-wide award for my programming coursework. Suddenly, These kids that I knew (because they were popular and "everybody" knew them) were asking me to do them favours. And the way they phrased it, they seemed to think it was no question I would oblige them, because, hey, they're popular, and I'm not, right. I was having none of it. Every single one I asked "and what do I get for this" and none of them really came up with an adequate answer. Eventually, they turned to one of my other friends who received the same award (I guess they came to me first since I got two or was Older, dunno), and they walked all over him. I tried to warn him they were just using him, but he kept writing them the little game they wanted, or make some minor modification to a game, or help them get setup with a SNES emulator (all the rage back them) Then when he was finished, they refused to have anything to do with him.... until they wanted something else. The best way to respond is to not do those things. The possibility of being popular, or liked, is a very alluring one to many kids, but sometimes that allure can overshadow the question that should be in the back of one's mind at the time, which is "why are they really doing this?". It's almost never because they like the person as they are or because they want to be friends, because if that was the case, they would already be friends- it's almost always because they want to get something. It's a harsh reality but it's no different in these games than elsewhere.
I hope this makes sense and possibly helps, and hope I didn't misinterpret the situation as you've described it.
Wow BC_Programming, I really appreciate your comprehensive comments here.
First, yes, I understand it is MinEcraft, not MinDcraft. Simply a goof on my part (obviously, I found this site by googling Minecraft )....
Secondly, I'm not sure yet that it has reached the level where the "popular/cool" kids are using him for his skills, but I can see this happening, as he's a pretty generous kid. Regardless, there is a definitely a distinction being made between him and the cool kids, so it's something we're going to have to pay attention to. What's been happening is when he's in a mixed group, with his "true" friends and some of the other "cool" kids join in, that's when the trouble starts. I don't think lying is necessary, but I just wish there was a "kinder" way of it happening (whether ejection is warranted or especially when it isn't). I realize this is idealistic now, based on the feedback I've been getting.
I think, as you and others have suggested, restricting his friends list, making sure he's aware of all potential "griefing" situations, is the best way to go, given the system as it exists.
The web is, in general, not a friendly place. If you are on a well-moderated website, you might not get that impression, but most online games and the communities that play them are full of mean-spirited people. Personally, I got into online multiplayer stuff about three years ago, and was fairly stunned at just how rude people were. However, it's just something you have to adapt to. The first multiplayer thing I did was Minecraft, and I really enjoy this game. Singleplayer got a bit boring after a while, and I dabbled into the multiplayer. At first I met nice people, and liked interacting with them. But there were also a lot of mean people. I didn't really want to have to deal with them, but in order to enjoy the benefits of multiplayer, I figured out that I had to stop letting the negative parts bother me.
The game Minecraft is sort of aimed at all audiences. There's no blood or anything so younger kids can play it without their parents getting upset (though less seem to get upset about blood as of late). It also is a fun game that will appeal to other age groups. However, that's just the game itself. Multiplayer runs off of servers that can be owned by just about anyone. Mojang is not involved in their maintenance and moderation. Whatever the owner wants goes. Therefore, if that owner is a mean person, or doesn't do anything about mean people on their server, there's nothing you can really do. Going to Mojang will thus unfortunately accomplish nothing. You could go to the owner of the server, but if they are allowing such actions to carry on on their server, they probably won't change their ways even if you ask them to.
Now, I don't personally use the Xbox version of the game, and I don't know how one finds servers to play on in that version. However, the same stuff goes in terms of moderation and maintenance: Mojang isn't involved in it, and if the owner of the server didn't do anything about the issue before, they probably still won't if you tell them to.
It's really disappointing that so many people are as cruel as they are on the internet. I think that when people can hide behind a username, they think they can do whatever they want. I know that many of the jerks on the internet aren't jerks in real life. I don't know what causes the change in attitude, but there's not much to be done about it. Millions of people throughout the world use the web, and many of them are just mean. If you manage to stop one person from being cruel, there are still hundreds of thousands more. All you can really do if you want to use online stuff is to ignore the less desirable members of the internet.
Now, my immediate assumption here is that he was just kicked off of the server for being young. There are sadly a lot of servers that have no-tolerance policies in that area because they find kids to be irritating. A server owner has the right to set an age limit for their server to a group they feel comfortable interacting with. It's sort of like how some real-life establishments dissuade people under a certain age from visiting them. An upscale restauraunt might cater primarily to an older crowd, and wouldn't want kids disturbing their patrons. Or, maybe a sixth-grader invites his grade to a birthday party. He only invites that grade because he doesn't want second-graders coming, or something like that. The two age groups just don't mix well. Servers can be private like that, and only allow a certain age group in. I think there's sort of a misconception among some that only people under eighteen really play computer games, but actually a large portion of the gaming community consists of twenty and thirty-year-olds. Arguably the most popular channel on Youtube of people playing Minecraft is headed by two guys who are over thirty. Because there are adults playing games out there, many of them run servers for just adults, or groups they view as 'mature'. In fact, most major servers are run by adults because it costs money to maintain a good server, and most kids don't have a steady source of income. So, it's likely that your son really was kicked out just for being young.
There are other possibilities, though. Servers do have rules. Usually, they are along the lines of "No griefing" (which means destroying others' structures, in case you didn't know), "No spamming", "No trolling", and in some cases "No excessive cursing" and "No racial slurs". However, they can vary greatly between different servers. Some have really stupid rules like "No emoticons" or "No improper grammar" that people often break without even thinking. It's possible that your son broke a rule without knowing. Especially with griefing, people often accidently break other peoples' structures. Depending on the server's tolerance of rulebreaking, they might have banned him instantly, or given him a warning that he didn't see.
But, judging from your story, it's most likely the age thing or that they were just being mean. Like I said way back at the beginning of my wall of text, the only thing you can really do is just try to ignore it and find another server.
(Sorry for the length of that... I'm not sure how much of it you already knew. I just tried to give the most thorough response I could. Best of luck.)
Edit: I am not overly familiar with the Xbox version, and I wrote this with my experience with the PC. Some of it likely does not apply. However, the general attitude of the internet, the status of moderation, and maybe even the way rules work do still apply.
Actually, no apologies are necessary. I appreciate you taking the time to post such a thoughtful response.
I agree with everything you've said....though the age issue wasn't the case here, since he was just playing with some of his classmates. It was just a matter of the kids being mean. That's what triggered this whole post. This is becoming quite a learning lesson for me too, as it turns out.
You my friend need manners, and How do you KNOW he is young and immature!? you can't prove it. next time think before you post, it can really effect people.
This stuff happens regularly... There's been many times where I enter a server, and get banned within 15 seconds. This happens to all ages. I'd look for servers with a description of "helpful staff," "will answer any questions" etc.
On Xbox... I would go with the majority, and only play with friends.
That's what I'm beginning to gather, but in this case, he's being kicked off by other kids, not the server. Anyway, I'm learning sadly, that it's par for the course... And yes, playing with friends is going to be the rule of thumb from now on.
Jesus! someones soft...Seriously the world dosen't conform to you every time you get a tad uncomfortable. If anything your son should grow some skin and not make a huge deal out of tiny things like being kick out of a VIDEO GAME.
You are absolutely entitled to your opinion, as much as I find it condescending. I'm not here to argue.
Does he have a close friend that plays the game? Starting small with people he can trust is probably the best step before branching out into larger group play. That way he still has somewhere to turn when these things happen.
i dont have xbox, so im assuming that you open a world and anyone in a group can join.
what if 1 person invited him for a different game, but they just dont want to play mc with him? i dont see why they should have to. in case this seemed mean, it wasnt meant to.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Sam- I left this here because I know you like MC and hope you are on this forum. this is alex, from gym and geography class. the kid with long hair and glasses. make an account and msg me if you see this.
How do you know they're kids, and the same age as your son? Do you know these kids? Is there a way you could deal with this problem personally?
If you don't, then what you're saying is despite minecraft server hosts being free to do what they will on their own personal servers, you expect them to accept your son onto their server and be prevented from basic managerial rights? Without knowing your son, I can't say if he's done anything to provoke being kicked from the game, but given the freeform nature of the program I wouldn't be surprised if he was doing something unwanted, like building in an unauthorized area or otherwise not respecting server rules, or simply joining a server when the presence of a stranger was undesired. These things happen.
I know not everyone on XBOX Live is a 12 year old boy (although it seems that way sometimes), so without more information, what you're asking for, some sort of policing of a game which was not marketed to 12 year old boys to reign in how people play on their own servers, is not going to happen.
I honestly don't understand the frustration, and given you incorrectly called the game Mindcraft, I would be unsurprised to learn you are equally unfamiliar with how the game actually operates, and your son may lying to you about the extent of this problem or the circumstances under which it has taken place, as 12 year olds are flippantly wont to do.
To shed further light on this subject, have you witnessed this happening, or is it hearsay? Also make sure to watch him create his own game, not join someone else's, and see if the problem persists.
tl;dr - He needs to host his own server and stop playing under other peoples' rules. He can host his own server, and people can't kick him from it.
Edit: Ah, this is a school group. That offers a ton of insight on the group you're playing with. Therefore, the issue is with them,
Hi Kestilla,
Yeah, this situation has occured with his classmates. And I do know who's who. I'm in the room when he's on, I'm interacting with them as I go about my business, so there are no "strangers", per se, involved, and I see what's going on. I guess you're comment "these things happen" though, is what it all comes down to. The system is what it is...and if he's going to adjust accordingly.
Why join the Minecraft forums if your problem is with Mindcraft?
If you do mean Minecraft, I've got some tips for you.
*Your son may be trolling them. That means he may be destroying their creations or annoying them.
*If your son doesn't run the server, I'm afraid there is nothing you can do. This is not a form of bullying. If you were talking with a group of friends as a kid, and some other person came over, wouldn't you walk away and continue your conversation elsewhere?
*Your son needs to learn that the internet is a cruel place. There are people here who don't like others. He can get over it.
* If all else fails, tell him to play Singleplayer. Singleplayer is a mode where you get to do everything you can in multiplayer, except you don't have to worry about other people bothering you.
Hope I helped,
Cheer
PS.
Mojang is the company that makes Minecraft. They do not control your son's friends. Either way, 4J Studios ported Minecraft to the Xbox. Even then, Microsoft is the one who created the feature to kick people out of your game. You can not demand to speak to people on the internet. I'm sorry to tell you, but the only one who is causing this is your son's so called "friends."
Hey Cheer,
Yes, as I mentioned above, certainly I meant Minecraft . That's just how I hear it..and it was a goof. I was able to find this forum with the correct spelling ....
As to your other points, no trolling was involved...and it was kids who came and joined the game he was involved in who did the kicking, so I'm sorry, I still think that's bullying. But, like you also said, the internet is a cruel place, so he can either work on navigating it as it exists now, or he can use the single-player version.
Might I ask how often do you and your son do social-ish things on the Internet? It may help if you haven't really done this before, and we all start somewhere.
I've added my comments in bold to your post in this quote:
I'm trying to adapt my knowledge of the PC version to my limited knowledge of the Xbox version, so some things may be inaccurate. I'm trying to help as best I can, though. I'm not sure how easy it is to start an Xbox server, but your son may be able to start one if you two know how, or read about it online. I think four real-life friends (like in your neighborhood) can come over and play up to four players split-screen using your Xbox in your house.
Hi Roadsguy,
Thank you too for your very thorough response. As I've mentioned, the situation arose with individual kids kicking him out...not the server, but I appreciate your insight into that side of things. I like your idea of him starting his own server...but will have to investigate the logistics. In the meantime, just gotta be more careful about who he's playing with...and allow this experience to help him learn a bit more about the nature of Life in general.
I think you misunderstood my point, and looking back, I don't think I worded it well enough. At least on PC, the owner of a server (not the server itself) can give trusted players "operator" rights, to be able to ban players, kick them, and other special commands that do stuff in-game. The server didn't kick your son out, one of the ops did, assuming Xbox works that much like PC.
I think what happened is there was possibly some kind of Internet glitch. If it was the PC version, it could have been an "End Of Stream" issue, where the game simply drops the connection for a second and the player is kicked off because they are unable to stay connected to the server in question.
If it wasn't, idk. However, Mojang has no control over what people do in servers. That is up to the administrators, and your son may have just met the kind of person who deserves no power in a multiplayer video game. If he's feeling reluctant to play, then players are to blame, not Mojang. The community at large is actually very kind. Admin abuse is present in every game where servers are player-run, but not every server has that problem. If its the XBox version, I reccomend you get the PC version. A server that I think would be a good place to start is the Caznowl SMP; the admins never kick or ban anyone without reason.
Yes, it was on the Xbox, so thank you for your direction to a server on the PC version. Also with the information given to me by several of the other posters, I now understand that the manufacturer has no say in what the individual servers do. As I mentioned at the outset, I came on here mostly to vent....not knowing if or how I'd get any sort of constructive feedback. I definitely have and feel much more comfortable about dealing with it. Thanks for your input.
Now that I think about it, it is good for him if you teach and use this well.
You see, as you know real life is very different than what we wish it was—to be a nice environment full of happy nice people. Unfortunately, there are enough people to ruin that. But teaching your son to accept that mean things will happen, even tragedies like Sandy Hook, will create a positive experience. That way he understands that it isn't his problem mean things happen, and that simply ignoring issues with the bully will make the bully feel unsuccessful, and so it isn't his problem.
I gamed online when I was 8 or so. I'm surprised no one kicked me or something.
I don't see much of a problem here though. I highly bet your son is doing something wrong, like not saying nice things, messing around with other's projects, stuff like that.
You left your kid alone in the jungle, and then, when he was eaten by a tiger, you went to the wrong place to complain to the wrong people?
Playing online with other people is not recommended for young kids. And it is not me who is saying that, it is the PEGI system.
Other than that, as far as I know, you can only play with your friends in the XBox version. Maybe your kid should choose better friends?
Actually I'm sitting in the room with him while he's playing, and keeping an eye on it, so the jungle analogy isn't really apt. As for complaining to the wrong place to the wrong people, I said at the outset, I admitted I was primarily here to vent, and didn't know if anyone could give me any helpful advice. Happily, I've had a lot of useful input.
That aside, yes, the issue -- given the system as it exists -- does come down to who he's playing with. While his friends are fine, it's some of the "friends' friends" who have become problematic. We'll see how it goes...
The Xbox is the entire reason for this, so don't get worked up about it. The Xbox community is less mature and generally less forgiving than the web community, and you tend to find less bigots in the Minecraft community overall. I don't know what to say other than use singleplayer.
Unfortunately, I don't think we will ever get to hear the "opposition's" view on this situation. With all due respect, for all we know, your son could be the one bullying/harassing them. I'm not claiming that your son's a bully nor am I saying that your son deserved to be kicked from the server (even though the owner on the server has every right to do so), but there's two sides to every story. No parent is capable of viewing their child as a "bully"; however, when a child (or even an adult) is behind the safety of a computer screen, it's much easier for them to take on a more aggressive "internet ego."
Ask your son if there was any potential ulterior reason for getting kicked than what you realize. A very common form of cyber-bullying on Minecraft is called griefing (destroying another person's creations simply to incite emotion). Most servers list griefing as a kickable offense, and if your son was doing it on their server then chances are that that's the reason why he was being excluded.
Please do not take offense to what I am saying. Like I said before, I'm not suggesting that your son was the bully; but you do (as a responsible adult) have to assess both sides of the situation.
P.S. If you do ask your son if he was griefing, be sure to remind him that two wrongs don't make a right (a.k.a. tell him not to get any funny ideas ).
Hi there,
No offense taken, I get where you're coming from. But nah, he's a good kid, and as I've mentioned in some of my other responses...he wasn't doing anything wrong. I was paying attention, cuz it's all new and wanted to monitor what was going on.
Sorry I'm just getting back to responding to everyone....I guess we're only allowed a certain amount of posts per day...and I want to make sure I answer everyone individually who was nice enough to take the time to respond to me. If I don't get to everyone today, I'll def. do it tomorrow.
Anyway Karbuncle, your points are well-taken. From what I can gather, it doesn't appear he has done any "griefing", he was just not "cool" enough to play with some of these kids. So yes, I think restricting his "friends" list might be a good idea...though he does have friends who straddle the "cool" and "non-cool" groups, so if he's in a certain group doing well, and some of the cooler kids come in, that's when some of the problems arise. I do get....from reading some of the other posts....that there is a "need" for an ability to "get rid of someone" if they're causing trouble....but it's unfortunate it provides the opportunity for some of the power-hungry/bully-ish kids to get rid of otherwise nice kids.
Thanks again for your input....
Hi Barlycorn,
Thank you for taking the time to chime in on this thread.
You're right, you're going to run into bad apples wherever you go, and the internet does provide an easy excuse for that sort of behavior. As you said, ultimately we're going to turn this into learning experience for him. In talking to him, he did mention the PC version, which he had played quite a bit prior to getting the Xbox for Christmas. Though at this point he's playing with just his peers, I'd certainly appreciate any direction you had regarding a family-friendly server.
Thank you again.
Guess so....
Hi Dextrous...
Maybe it's a matter of semantics, but it IS bullying if he was kicked out for no other reason than the kids didn't think he was cool enough to play with them. I was in the room, and from what I could gather, he didn't do anything wrong.
Also, while I appreciate your interest in arm-chair psychology, as a double major in psychology and mental health who graduated magna cum laude from an esteemed university, I can tell you he isn't an introvert . He may be shy, but he is not energized by being alone, which is the true definition of an introvert . That's neither here nor there though, as far as this discussion is concerned.
Anyway, thhank you for taking the time to comment. ...
Thanks very much for your thoughts bfrank. I agree 100% with everything you said. It's just a shame -- and especially hurtful -- when the option to "kick someone out" is abused, and that particular verbage is used. I'm definitely going to look into this alternative server idea....
#XBOX He is talking about the Xbox edition not the pc. I'm saying this because allot of people seem to be saying find a new server or look for a family friendly one...
edit: I'v noticed that the children are kicking him and if this keeps happening why not just admit him into a club.....I know people like your son and they have friends they can relate to now. In other words he needs new friends.
sorry if this seems heartless but iv seen way to many parents complain and honestly complaining to the forum seems a little over board since most of us really can do much but give advice or feel bad for him.
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I can be as sarcastic as the next person...your comment just didn't make any sense.
This^^
I have kids, and of course I don't want any of them bullied...
..But at the same time I have to just roll my eyes when people/kids/parents get on forums like this to complain they got mistreated on the internet.
"I let my kid play call of duty and he was called names!!"
...I'm sorry...but at the same time, cry me a river. its a dog eat dog world. And the internet is one place where you can't hide behind your participation trophy or your political correctness.
Wow BC_Programming, I really appreciate your comprehensive comments here.
First, yes, I understand it is MinEcraft, not MinDcraft. Simply a goof on my part (obviously, I found this site by googling Minecraft )....
Secondly, I'm not sure yet that it has reached the level where the "popular/cool" kids are using him for his skills, but I can see this happening, as he's a pretty generous kid. Regardless, there is a definitely a distinction being made between him and the cool kids, so it's something we're going to have to pay attention to. What's been happening is when he's in a mixed group, with his "true" friends and some of the other "cool" kids join in, that's when the trouble starts. I don't think lying is necessary, but I just wish there was a "kinder" way of it happening (whether ejection is warranted or especially when it isn't). I realize this is idealistic now, based on the feedback I've been getting.
I think, as you and others have suggested, restricting his friends list, making sure he's aware of all potential "griefing" situations, is the best way to go, given the system as it exists.
Thanks again.
I know, right?
Actually, no apologies are necessary. I appreciate you taking the time to post such a thoughtful response.
I agree with everything you've said....though the age issue wasn't the case here, since he was just playing with some of his classmates. It was just a matter of the kids being mean. That's what triggered this whole post. This is becoming quite a learning lesson for me too, as it turns out.
Thank you very much for your interest.
Again, agreed.
That's what I'm beginning to gather, but in this case, he's being kicked off by other kids, not the server. Anyway, I'm learning sadly, that it's par for the course... And yes, playing with friends is going to be the rule of thumb from now on.
Thanks for your post.
You are absolutely entitled to your opinion, as much as I find it condescending. I'm not here to argue.
what if 1 person invited him for a different game, but they just dont want to play mc with him? i dont see why they should have to. in case this seemed mean, it wasnt meant to.
Hi Kestilla,
Yeah, this situation has occured with his classmates. And I do know who's who. I'm in the room when he's on, I'm interacting with them as I go about my business, so there are no "strangers", per se, involved, and I see what's going on. I guess you're comment "these things happen" though, is what it all comes down to. The system is what it is...and if he's going to adjust accordingly.
Hey Cheer,
Yes, as I mentioned above, certainly I meant Minecraft . That's just how I hear it..and it was a goof. I was able to find this forum with the correct spelling ....
As to your other points, no trolling was involved...and it was kids who came and joined the game he was involved in who did the kicking, so I'm sorry, I still think that's bullying. But, like you also said, the internet is a cruel place, so he can either work on navigating it as it exists now, or he can use the single-player version.
Hi Roadsguy,
Thank you too for your very thorough response. As I've mentioned, the situation arose with individual kids kicking him out...not the server, but I appreciate your insight into that side of things. I like your idea of him starting his own server...but will have to investigate the logistics. In the meantime, just gotta be more careful about who he's playing with...and allow this experience to help him learn a bit more about the nature of Life in general.
Yes, it was on the Xbox, so thank you for your direction to a server on the PC version. Also with the information given to me by several of the other posters, I now understand that the manufacturer has no say in what the individual servers do. As I mentioned at the outset, I came on here mostly to vent....not knowing if or how I'd get any sort of constructive feedback. I definitely have and feel much more comfortable about dealing with it. Thanks for your input.
Agreed .
I don't see much of a problem here though. I highly bet your son is doing something wrong, like not saying nice things, messing around with other's projects, stuff like that.
Actually I'm sitting in the room with him while he's playing, and keeping an eye on it, so the jungle analogy isn't really apt. As for complaining to the wrong place to the wrong people, I said at the outset, I admitted I was primarily here to vent, and didn't know if anyone could give me any helpful advice. Happily, I've had a lot of useful input.
That aside, yes, the issue -- given the system as it exists -- does come down to who he's playing with. While his friends are fine, it's some of the "friends' friends" who have become problematic. We'll see how it goes...
Sorry, not (to the trolling comment). And I do know the name of the game, I just typed wrong (more than once )....
TROLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOHi there,
No offense taken, I get where you're coming from. But nah, he's a good kid, and as I've mentioned in some of my other responses...he wasn't doing anything wrong. I was paying attention, cuz it's all new and wanted to monitor what was going on.
Thanks for your response...